Heya folks, sorry about the slight delay. With work, college, obligatory social interaction and Xbox time it's pretty tough to juggle everything at once. But you should know that this fic is definitely near the top of my priorities (Coming in at a close second after the Xbox).
This chapter is a bit of a piss around really. I was in one of those moods when I wrote it so it might be a little random and farfetched. But I hope you enjoy it regardless. I apologise if the pace is a bit slow but that's just the way I work really. I don't like to move too fast because I'm always scared I'm gonna miss something.
And could I just say; 107 reviews? Wow. That literally blows my mind. Never expected such a great response but am extremely grateful for it.
What the fuck have I dug myself into this time?
That's the question that has been continuously floating around in my head for the better part of ten minutes.
It's Monday morning and as usual I'm sitting on my regular picnic bench in the quad with my gigantic sunglasses perched on my nose, attempting to chillax in the morning sun.
The only thing is that I can't chill or even relax for that matter. I keep glancing around constantly just to check that Aiden isn't within a twenty foot radius of Spencer.
Bet you're all wondering about Taylor's plan huh? Well let me tell you now, it's quite possibly the shittiest plan I've ever heard in my life. You were probably all thinking that it was gonna be some kind of stroke of genius weren't you? Well then you should probably know that although Taylor has many talents she's never exactly been the brightest crayon in the box.
Taylor and education just don't mix. It's not that she couldn't be smart if she wanted to, for instance she knows a lot about the environment and all that shit but let me put it this way, Taylor actually thought that Algebra was some kind of ancient Greek language until last year. And she'd supposedly been studying it for the past two years.
Speaking of Taylor, I can see her clearly from all the way across the quad. She's not exactly hard to miss because funnily enough she's the only one dressed in black slacks, shirt and massive trench coat because a) normal people just don't wear that shit and b) Even if they did, they wouldn't today because it's like 80 degrees outside.
As you might have guessed, Taylor's taking her part as accomplice to the plan way too seriously.
Ah yes. The plan. Also known as The SAFASOP. SAFASOP is Taylor's ingenious abbreviation for the Stop Aiden from Asking Spencer out Plan.
Yep, that's the plan. Basically, we're gonna monitor Spencer and Aiden's whereabouts the entire day and make sure that Aiden doesn't get the slightest opportunity to ask her out. In the meantime, it's my job to figure out what I'm gonna do about the whole me liking Spencer thing.
I don't even know where to start with that one.
I lean back and let out a loud yawn. I feel like I'm dying of tiredness. Taylor and I stayed up until two in the morning finalising the plan last night. And by finalising I mean...
"But Taylor, I want to be the Barbie with the pink shirt!" I whine, folding my arms across my pyjama clad chest and pouting childishly.
"No Ashley." Taylor replies firmly. "Spencer has to be the one with the pink shirt because she's blonde."
"Why can't we just swap the shirts?"
"Because I said so." Taylor sticks her tongue out at me.
"Then you're not allowed to be action man." I say, grabbing the doll from her hand.
"Ashley! That's not fair!" Taylor shouts, reaching over to try and grab it back. "They're my toys!"
"Then let me be the Barbie with the pink shirt or you have to be Ken."
"No!" Taylor screeches as though the idea gives her physical pain. "Aiden has to be Ken because he's such a poof! I'm action man because he kicks arse! Now give it back!"
"No! Not until you let me be the pink Barbie!"
And that's how we, two seventeen year old high school girls, spent our weekend.
She still didn't let me be the pink Barbie you know. I sulked for about fifteen minutes until she compromised by yanking one of Ken's/Aiden's arms off. That was fun, although I'd much rather it have been a different appendage. Stupid anatomically incorrect toys.
I'm distracted as my cell phone starts to vibrate and I dig around in my jeans pocket for a minute before successfully extracting it. It's the price you have to pay for wearing jeans that make your ass look great.
Checking the caller ID I roll my eyes. Let me tell you now, the first time the God of Sex phoned me I was kind of freaked out. That was until I found out about Taylor's knack for stealing people cells and changing her caller ID name on a regular basis. So now I don't even bat an eye when I get a text from Barack Obama.
"What?" I snap.
"Is that you Purple Beaver?"
I so should never have let her choose the codenames. Purple Beaver? What the fuck? Why not just call me badly dyed pubes?
"No, Taylor. It's Ashley." I tell her and I can see her frowning at me from across the quad, even with her face covered in shadow by that ridiculous trilby she's wearing.
"Purple Beaver!" She whines and I chuckle when I see her stomp her foot slightly. "We're supposed to be using our codenames!"
"Sorry Sergeant T. J. Cobra." I reply and can't help but roll my eyes when her face lights up. "Why are you phoning me?"
"We have a situation." Taylor tells me, using her extra low voice. Which is seriously not necessary by the way. "Code Rainbow."
Code Rainbow? What the fuck is that? Damn it. I knew I should have paid more attention to what Taylor was saying instead of making the damn Barbie's make out with each other.
"You don't know what Code Rainbow is do you?" I cringe at Taylor's annoyed tone. "I even stuck a copy of the colour-coded key I designed to the back of your bedroom door."
Oh. So that's what that was.
"Anyway," Taylor continues as though she's speaking to someone either very young or very old. "I was going to use the plain old code red but then I thought that it wasn't very original. Therefore, Code Rainbow was born. Code Red was just too negative and although it normally stands for something negative I thought I'd make the negativity more colourful -,"
"Taylor!" The frown returns. "Sorry, I mean Sergeant T.J. Cobra. What does Code Rainbow mean?"
"Oh. Right. Well basically, it means that the evil blue bush baby has directly approached the golden unicorn and they have engaged in social intercourse."
Er...What?
"What?"
"For fucks sake Ashley!" Taylor yells. Thanks Tay, kinda needed that eardrum. "It means that Spencer and Aiden are by the lockers talking to each other!"
Shit!
"Fuck! What should I do?"
"I think now would be the perfect time for Operation Lightning Bolt."
Operation what now?
"What the fuck were you doing all weekend other than making the Barbie's make out with each other?"
"Honestly? Not much. But seriously what do I do?"
"Bloody hell Ash! Run over there and interrupt them!"
Oh. I can do that.
I jump to my feet and put my hands on my hips, quickly spotting where Spencer and Aiden are. The latter of the two is leaning up against the lockers as though he's in some kind of body spray advert. What a douche.
"Good luck Purple Beaver."
I nearly jump out of my skin when I hear Taylor's voice in my ear. I had totally forgotten that she was still on the phone.
"Thanks Sergeant. Purple Beaver out!"
Hm. In hindsight, maybe I shouldn't have yelled that so loudly in a public area. A group of sophomore's are now looking at me as though I have two heads.
I slip my phone into my back pocket before I take off at lightning speed across the quad. And by lightning speed I mean a slow jog.
I get into earshot just in time to hear the evil blue bush baby say:
"So Spencer, I was wondering..."
Shit!
Now I really start to sprint even though my lungs are on fire and I have a serious stitch. I really need to do more exercise.
Just as I'm about to reach them and interrupt, something happens. Something so absurd that I can't really believe it's actually real.
I slip on a banana skin that some motherfucker has thrown on the floor and the momentum of my sprint sends me about three feet behind where Spencer is standing and straight into a trashcan.
I. Kid. You. Not.
That's right; I am currently situated headfirst in a trashcan with my legs dangling hopelessly in the air behind me. You know that scene in Mean Girls when Lindsay Lohan is walking down the corridor and randomly falls into the bin? I'm pretty sure that's what I must look like right now.
One thing Mean Girls failed to show you however was how much falling into a trashcan fucking hurts! I think I just broke some ribs or something because my chest is killing me. Not to mention it smells like shit in here.
Why God? Why do you hate me so much?
The next thing I feel is hands on my ankles trying in vain to heave me bodily from the bin.
"Oh my God Ashley! Are you okay?" Spencer's concerned voice asks from somewhere above me. "Aiden! Will you give me a hand?"
I can vaguely hear that toolbag guffawing in the background and if my feet weren't suspended vertically in the air I would so have kicked him in the balls by now.
Suddenly, a pair of strong arms that are too big to be Spencer's but too small to be Aiden's wrap around my waist and drag me from the trashcan.
I'm not entirely sure I wanted to be pulled out actually because when Taylor sets me on my feet I immediately become aware of the fact that a small group of people have formed around the area and they're all pretty much pissing themselves laughing at my misfortune.
Jeez, it's almost like they've never seen someone slip on a banana skin and fall into a bin before.
"Are you okay?" Spencer is the first one to speak because Aiden and Taylor are too busy laughing at me. Bitches.
"Er, yeah, I'm fine. It's all good."
Oh God. I've suddenly become acutely aware of the fact that the girl I fancy just witnessed me falling head first into a fucking trashcan. This cannot be a good thing.
"Are you sure?" Spencer asks again, peering into my face which is probably a rather impressive ten different shades of red.
"Yeah." I mutter, glancing around desperately for an escape plan.
Taylor finally manages to stop laughing at me and reaches over to clap me on the back.
"Good job Purple Beaver. Code Rainbow has been successfully stabilised." She tells me, still sniggering slightly as Spencer and Aiden look confused. "And Ash? I think you have a piece of gum in your hair."
What?
No! Not the hair!
I reach up to touch my hair and almost burst into tears when I feel the large sticky lump that's tangled firmly smack bang on the top of my head.
Who even puts their gum in the bin anymore for fucks sake?
This day just couldn't get any worse.
"I'll come to the toilets with you and help you get it out Ashley."
Or maybe it could.
That was Spencer by the way. The exact same Spencer who I apparently have a massive crush on. The exact same Spencer that just saw me completely humiliate myself by going ass over tit into a trashcan is now offering to go to the toilets with me and yank a wad of gum out of my hair. That's just brilliant.
"That's okay." I tell her quickly. "I'm sure you have other stuff you'd rather be doing. I'll just get Taylor to give me a hand."
I turn and give Taylor a stare that clearly says 'If you don't help me I will brutally murder you' but she quickly averts her gaze, fidgeting slightly.
She wouldn't dare...
"Actually Ash. I have to meet someone before class." Taylor says slowly, cringing a little when she notices the steam that I'm almost definite is coming from my ears. "But I'm sure Spencer would do a better job than me anyway. I'd just end up yanking half your hair out."
That's true. But so not the point. How can she abandon me like this? What happened to never leaving a man down?
"Come on then Ashley." Spencer sends me a dazzling smile and grabs my wrist, which starts to tingle as soon as her hand wraps around it. As she leads me away I can't help but revel in how smooth her palms are. I'm almost starting to think that this won't be so bad after all...
"We should hurry. Once the gum hardens it will be a nightmare to get out. Whilst it's still a little bit moist we have more of a chance."
And let's give a warm welcome back to Mr. Reality.
Fuck. My. Life.
Thanks for reading.
Massive thank you to Candie275, jessiestar, Shain777 and Chobitsk19. And of course to everyone who reviewed/alerted/favourited. Thanks.