The moon's pale glow was the only light that pierced through the darkness of my bedroom. It had to have been half past two by then, but I couldn't sleep still. The shadows in my room were all too restless to me, they kept moving and dancing in the moonlight. And even as I was curled in my bed, I still could only think of how I longed to rejoice with them. Even as the moon crept higher into the sky and forced them to retreat from its light, they still embraced that fate, as though it were sinking under the horizon and allowing them more room to roam.

Perhaps I should learn from the shadows, and grin in the face of the horrors around me. Instead of despairing and suffocating in this river of anguish; I could grow gills and swim with the current, twirling and ducking around in the water. Then when the waters receded long after the storm that arose them; I would find myself basking in the warm rays of sun, and warm my numb and tired limbs. But with that grin stretched on my face in the cold waters, continuing along with something a part of me couldn't agree with. A war would rage within me, that grin would flicker like a hologram but would refuse to fade.

How far could I push the fine line of conformant and madness?

The more I pondered this the more I began to remember that I no longer had the power to simply swim along with this. I had stopped and turned against this current and began to push the opposite way. The grin had been eroded from my features and I had started to claw my way up the rocks in this river or war and blood. The frigid cold made my limbs feel dead and numb sometimes, but I couldn't stop. If I slipped now, who would I bump into when I did? They would know, they would know what I had done. I would be ripped from the river and thrown to gasp and choke on the banks of the river. Slowly my lungs would collapse and my life would seep out of my body as the world would fade into nothing more than a memory.

With a grunt I pushed myself upright and dropped my head into my hands scratching my scalp viciously for a few seconds. "Why am I so worked up about this?" I asked the darkness around me, "I won't get caught…I mean, that girl will just run away from here." My voice was a whisper and the shadow gave me no answer. "She'll just run away…" For some reason when those words passed my lips they left a stinging aftertaste making me grimace. "I'll never see her again…That's how it should be." My throat felt like cotton for a moment confusing me.

So many emotions were going through me right then I felt like my head would explode. Nothing was making sense, the room felt too small for so many feelings and thoughts.

Shaking my head I reminded myself of different things that could be much worse then just feeling. I could have been like my brother, going on cocky and unfeeling through life. I forced myself out of bed and made my way over to the window, looking out through the slightly dirty glass. The world outside was silent and still, the landscape looked dead save for the occasional officer walking the grounds. I sighed and leaned my forehead against the cool glass, trying to put away all of my thoughts for a moment and relish in the simple fact I hadn't been caught. Perhaps if I could be thankful for that then whatever being created the world would have mercy on me and somehow end the war soon. Yet I doubted it would happen, for one I had never been religious and second reason being since no higher being would care for a monster like me. I had the stamp of the demon printed on my armband, it marked me as a demon myself.

Eventually I dragged myself back into bed and tossed around for a while before managing to force all the thoughts out of my head. Focusing instead on the sounds of occasional footsteps outside and on my still beating heart. Soon I felt myself drifting off into sleep, its lulling feeling numbed all my thoughts and created a sort of madness, but a peaceful one that I had every night. Normally I would think about the day and all I would be able to see would be the people; their tear soaked faces or their glares, but that night a warm feeling was licking at my stomach. For as I fell under the calming spell of sleep, the picture in my mind was of a smooth olive face framed by untamed amber hair, with large golden eyes. And for some reason the warm feel of the sight made sleep come that much swifter, sweeping over me easier than I had ever experienced.

Feli was curled beside the window staring out at the moon and biting her lip. "Nonno? What am I to do?" She asked the shadows that embraced her in the dark corner of her room.

She could still feel the adrenaline coursing through her when she thought about the events of the day. When he lowered her into that small space under the floor boards she was so confused and scared. She still was, but now she was so unsure what had happened. Part of her told her it was but a dream, but the other part screamed at her that it was real. Either way she knew she had felt a spark of warmth when she got close to him.

That strange feeling bewildered her, it made her curious if he had felt it too. More importantly she was confused as to why she felt warm. He was a soldier…a Nazi soldier more importantly. None of them had a heart, none of them could have possibly be that warm and gentle. His hands didn't grab at her roughly and mark her skin with bruises or cuts. Rather, they caressed her carefully, as though she were a fragile butterfly and he didn't want to hurt her wings.

After he had lowered her down he barely had time to put the board back into place when she heard another man with carefully arranged hair call him. Her memory was fuzzy and slightly messy from the excitement that was still pumping through her, but she could have sworn the other soldier said his name, but she was likely wrong, the voice was heavily accented, it didn't sound quite German though. Either way, the other soldier had said, 'Ludwig', but she wasn't sure.

The name was so blunt, almost ugly to Feli; but for some reason when it was tagged along with those icy blue eyes and that stony face, it worked. It seemed to suit him although not the most beautiful name. She mused over the name for a bit longer, wondering how he had such great reflexes.

As soon as the other soldier called his name, the board went down silently, and the blonde man, Ludwig, was at attention. He responded back in German, leaving her to only understand a few words here and there. In grade school she had learned a few words in German thanks to a student whose family had moved here from Germany. He was a very kind boy, although a bit awkward and shy. But he taught me a few phrases and words, although when she would ask him if he wanted to learn more Italian since his Italian was pretty weak, he would shy away and not talk to her.

Finally she returned to her bed and burrowed into the blankets, unsure of what to do. But knew that being tired wouldn't better her to face the next day.

The following days were slow and drained the life from me, or at least, it felt that way. Everyday, every hour, every minutes was slow and sluggish, refusing to pass. The thoughts of the woman faded from my mind, only reappearing in my thoughts before I drifted to a dreamless sleep. I suppose I noticed myself falling into this disease of depression; yet I did nothing to stop it.

I knew know, I had succeeded in helping her, she had escaped. Yet, here I was, no longer afraid of being caught, rather, I was afraid of not being caught. Ever since she left, the only one that created colors appear again in this monochrome world I was living in; I've felt oddly deprived. I don't know her, I know nothing about her except her beauty. Yet, I was frustrated; I had been ripped from the chance to get to know her, to uncover the mysteries of her mind, of her life; everything about her. The thoughts were so overwhelming and fascinating, my curiosity tugging violently at me. But I couldn't see her again, even if I wanted to; this was the way fate was due to play out. It was so cruel and taunting, like placing a cup of water in front of a parched slave. No matter how much they wish to take the water and let its cool feeling slip down their throat and extinguish the blaze in their body; they couldn't. If they did their master's might catch them and punish them, lashing at them with their choice of treachery. It was so sick to me, it made me wish I could find the woman and talk with her. It was so unlike me to be so eager to speak with someone I barely knew, let alone a woman, or an Italian, or especially a Jew.

That was just it, if I let myself follow my instincts and try to find her, track down that beauty, I would only drag us both down into Hell. If they caught me with a Jew; even if it wasn't romantically, they would immediately send her away to death. Me on the other hand, I might be charged for treason, and after that; who knows. What would Gilbert think? What would Anya think? Would they be disappointed? Would they be silently proud? Would they loathe me? And for some reason, I wasn't quite sure, nor will I ever be, I thought to myself, 'What would that brown eyed man think?'

Why I even remembered that man from over six days ago, the man I barely saw for more than a few seconds, confused me. That intense gaze was so strange and impossible to forget. His eyes seemed to pierce my very soul, seeing straight through me. I shuddered at the memory, it was so haunting and mysterious.

"Luddy!" Gilbert jerked me from my thoughts as he smirked from beside a vender selling delicately made sweets. "Look what I found!" I looked over to the cart and walked up beside my brother, earning a polite greeting from the man behind the cart.

For a few minutes, Gilbert asked my opinion on certain candies and which he should bring back for Anya. He rambled on about her secret sweet tooth, and her love for sweets. Continuing to fuss over which candy he should get I put my hands in my pockets, glancing around the busy market place. Behind us a group of people were passing by, their voices were loud and despite the whole world being so monochrome these people seemed perfectly fine with the lack of color. Instead they talked loudly, and I realized it was because a few were my subordinates. With them they seemed to have found a few women, all dressed nicely with their hair well kept.

As the group moved past I noticed a movement in the center of it, but opted to look at the chocolate Gilbert was raving about. Saying it might be perfect, but he wasn't quite sure still. I forced a laugh and watched him for a moment before looking back as the noise of the group fell, leaving only the omnipresent buzz of voices in the market. The narrow road was sprinkled with people, some shyly moving with yellow stars on their clothing, others boldly moving, free of a patch.

As I skimmed my eyes over the crowd, just as I was going to turn back to see if my brother had decided on a chocolate for Anya, a particular figure caught my eye. Near the wall of a shop on the opposite side of the street was a woman with a clumsy smile. It seemed as though she had been pushed out of the group that had passed by mistake, or not, either way she stood looking only slightly shaken. The woman had lightly tanned skin and thick brunette hair weaved into a large braid over her shoulder. From the tangles of her hair a curl sprang up on the side of her head. I blinked for a moment, squinting to be sure my eyes weren't playing tricks. But alas I was correct, her face was a smooth sun-kissed surface with large amber eyes, her soft features framed by her curly hair.

And I could have sworn my heart stopped for a moment.

"I-I'll be right back," Barely making eye contact with Gilbert I began to weave my way through the crowd to the woman. I could hear my brother questioning me curiously, but gave up when I had lost his voice amongst the loud hum of the other people. It was as though someone had embedded a magnet inside of me, drawing me to the woman that stood with an aura unlike anyone else I had ever seen.

Again I began to notice how the colors that had been stolen from my world seemed to leak out a bit, all coming from her. Her gentle blue dress was such a subtle shade, complimenting her warm amber hair, the colors were so hypnotizing. Those large brown eyes too, the delicate lashes framing around them, thoughts of days before came flooding back. From the details of her tears dripping down her cheeks, to the way the fabric on her dress moved when she hiccuped. Everything was vivid and brilliant, and finally I felt a flood of relief at seeing her.

Pushing through a crowd wasn't like me, at least without constantly apologizing or giving a polite 'excuse me', yet there I was, shouldering past people with confused, annoyed, even frightened faces as I passed. But I continued nonetheless, being driven on by some unknown force, my heart pounding in my chest. I couldn't believe she was there, part of me was overjoyed being able to see the woman, but the other part was shocked and panicked. She was just asking to be caught this way, the resemblance she had to the man we had captured in her house was striking. Didn't she know we would be looking for her?

Before any answers came to my mind, I found my feet bringing me to her left side. It seemed as though she had turned away, looking around for a stand I suppose carrying a specific good. For a moment I didn't know what to do, she didn't seem to realize I was there, idly glancing around. But suddenly, although in my head it felt like ages, my hand acted on its own; reaching out and plopping itself on her shoulder.

She jumped slightly before turning to see what had happened, a normal reaction, and I forced myself to keep from sweating; I was so incredibly nervous. Then those warm amber orbs locked with my icy blue eyes.

Confusion flickered in her eyes, making me almost take my hand back, worrying I had frightened her. But before I could react in any way, those eyes had grown to the size of saucers. I panicked, surely I had done something terribly wrong, she didn't remember me, that or she hated me.

So many emotions were running through me, the thoughts of staying up late in fear of being caught, the grief of everything I had done. All of it was driving me mad.

Then she hugged me.

My limbs froze and my heart stopped. The whole world felt frozen, leaving me to wonder what had just happened. 'What was going on? Why was my heart beating so fast? Why was my face so hot? Who was this girl? What was she doing here? Why hadn't she escaped? Why hadn't she taken off her star?!'

The thoughts hit me a million miles an hour, leaving me in their wake, still dumbfounded as the woman said something in excited Italian. All I could do was stay as she held me tightly, her arms locked around my neck. She was quite a bit shorter than me, the top of her head only reaching my neck. My body was still numb and shocked, rendering me unable to retch her away and question her on why the heck she was still in Italy. Was this woman an idiot? Didn't she know she should have left?

Just as I had managed to twitch my arm, my body still locked and frozen besides that; she had pulled away and was grinning at me happily. "Ve~! You came back, Ludwig~!" She said in lavishly accented English.

"H-how do you know my name?" Was the only thing I could managed out right then, the aftershock of being pulled out of my trance was a strange lingering feeling that left me in a state of slight dizziness. "Wait, who are you?"

My questions only made her grin wider, "I'm Feliciana Vargas~! I'm the girl you saved the other day, ve~!" I panicked when she said I had saved her; what was she thinking!?Ignoring manners I clamped my hand over her mouth, giving her a stern glare.

"Are you insane? Don't say that so loud." Her large eyes looked puzzled and I quickly realized I didn't say it in English. I bit my lip and ripped out my awkward English, "D-don't say that so loud."

The w- Feliciana, nodded, grinning up at me. "So why are you in the market today?" She asked, absolutely beaming with happiness.

Had she not been a woman she would have been slapped, but, as fate would have it, she was, and rather pretty too. Her ignorance was slightly annoying to me, but I suppose I could over look it for now. After all, she was probably just in shock, or something. "Better question, what are you doing here." I let my voice drop to a low whisper, moving my head near hers. "Why didn't you escape, if someone you could very well be taken away. You're not safe here!"

We stayed, staring at each other, not really noticing the people around us, stuck in our own little world. Feliciana was quiet, her face had darkened a bit, her smile faltering for a moment. Honestly I felt slightly bad, of all the melancholy faces I had seen before I hadn't expected to see hers in such a state. Her eyes didn't leave mine but became noticeably vacant, as though lost in her thoughts.

Suddenly though her smile returned as though it hadn't even happened, she grinned with the brightness returning to her eyes. "What are you talking about~? This is Italy~! It's always safe here, ve~!" She chirped.

The urge to smack her was harder than ever to resist, as I stared at her. "Lieber Gott, du bist ein Idiot." I muttered under my breath before gripping her shoulders firmly, making her blink in surprise. "You need to get out of here. Italy is 'safe' I suppose, but not for you. Tell me, Feliciana, where are you living?"

The look in her eyes told me she didn't like being told Italy wasn't a safe haven for her, but decided not to argue with me. "At my house... The one you took Nonno from." She said, making me wonder what or who 'Nonno' was. My Italian was very weak, only knowing a few terms, mostly of food, or simple terms like 'yes'. She seemed to see the confusion in my eyes and added, "The one I hid under the bed of,"

I nodded, suddenly understanding, before letting go of her shoulders to pinch the bridge of my nose. For some reason the stress she was making me feel was almost soothing, at least it was better than the normal stress I endured after a long day. "There's a possibility of you being safe in this country if you had at least moved to a different location. But why in the world would you stay in that house!? If they notice someone living in there after they thought they had gotten all the residents, you'll be caught!" I took my hand away from my face to give her a stern glare. "You aren't safe here, can you think of anywhere you can go? Or can you just sneak out of the country somehow? Maybe get to America?"

Feliciana suddenly jumped, "But I-!..." She bit her lip, probably beginning realize that she needed to escape. Then again, she was the only woman I had ever met as air-headed as her, so I don't think I could even begin to contemplate what was going on under that amber mop of hair.

"You need to get out of here, got it?" I stared her down, her eyes losing a bit of their shine and looking down as she clutched her hands over her heart.

Feliciana nodded, "S-si...But, where do I go? I don't have much money; my boss left town..." By 'left town' I assumed it was another Jew that had been taken away. "I'm not sure I have enough for transport..." She muttered.

I bite my lip in thought, how could I get her out of here safely? Suddenly I realized though what it must look like, me, talking to this woman with a large yellow star on her chest. Acting quickly, I handed her the jacket I was wearing, "here, put this on, if my brother sees that," I pointed to the star, "I don't even want to think about what will happen."

The change of subjects seemed to put her at a slight ease, but suddenly she was as energetic as she was before. "You have a brother?" She grinned and glanced around, "Where! I want to meet him, ve~!" Felicana looked around anxiously, excited to find Gilbert; making me panic.

I quickly stopped her, "H-he's busy! Don't bother him! A-anyway, you need to leave as soon as possible, ok?" She seemed disappointed when I brought the conversation back around to her leaving. "I have to go back to Germany, I can't just run up and tell you hide or to leave every time your threatened, ok?"

Feliciana bit her lip, "Ok..." she muttered looking greatly disappointed. I sighed and reached out a hand to put on her shoulder.

"I-"

"Luddy! There you wen-!" Gilbert's scratchy voice was loud enough to be heard over the roar of the market as he waved and stopped beside me. He blinked at Feliciana for a moment before looking at me, "Well, well, well!" Those crimson eyes narrowed slyly, "Who do we have here? You can't possibly be with Ludwig, he still thinks girls have cooties!"

Immediately I glared at him as the amber eyed woman covered her mouth to stifle a laugh. "Gilbert-! What are you doing over here? I thought you were looking for a souvenir for Anya!" I tried not to sound panicked, but that was exactly what I felt.

A smirk spread on his face, "I did, stupid! I was looking for you and didn't realize you had actually managed to talk to a girl." He laughed loudly, making me wonder (yet again) how Anya could possibly stand him.

Feliciana piped up quickly, "Are you his brother?" She grinned brightly, her aura of warmth was overwhelming.

The silver haired man seemed overjoyed by her question, "Of course I am! I'm Luddy's big brother!" He reached out a hand to her, "I'm Gilbert Beilschmidt, his babysitter." Those crimson eyes flickered to me momentarily before she slipped her small hand into his and shook.

"It's more of the other way around," I glared at him before, looking back to see Feliciana holding her hand out to me now. Stupidly, I blinked down at her olive colored fingers, "uh..."

"I like formal introductions, ve~!" It almost seemed like a idiotic statement, but somehow, when it came out of those carefully shaped lips; it was somehow humorous. "I'm Feliciana Vargas, ve~! But you can call me, Feli~!" I took her hand to shake and felt my heart pick up again, likely because of Gilbert's gaze making me anxious. Either way, her small hand fit into my palm nicely, making me smile slightly.

"I-I'm Ludwig Beilschmidt," I managed out, waiting for her to let go of my hand, but she waited for some reason. The seconds sluggishly passed, each one making me loose myself in those deep amber orbs. Finally she turned to my brother, beaming and quipped.

"You too! Call me Feli~!" Then she shook his hand quickly and grinned up at us.

Gilbert had a large smirk on his face, "Well, where in the world did you find this girl, Luddy?"

I rolled my eyes, "I found her-," quickly I caught myself and effortlessly went through to say, "I found her at the bar a few nights ago, she sat down at my table and insisted on talking to me." For a man that didn't have to lie to my own brother that often I thought I had done pretty well. I glanced over at Feli trying to tell her with my eyes to go along with it.

The Italian seemed a bit confused before sensing my gaze and locking eyes with mine. She looked at me for a moment before turning back to Gilbert and grinning, "Mhm~!"

Gilbert smirked larger and as soon as he opened his mouth I knew whatever was about to come out would be bad. "So are you two like a thing now?" He winked and looked at us through sly eyes.

I panicked quickly and shook my head, "No! Nein-nein-nein-!"

Feli just blankly smiled and looked at me, "Mhm~!"

My brother seemed a bit confused by our answer for a moment before blurting, "I'll take that as a yes. Anyway, is she coming back up with us to Germany, Luddy?"

I opened my mouth to tell him what a stupid question it was, when I stopped, just as something began to click in my head. If I paid for a train for her, all her fare for the trip, I could meet back up with her in Berlin. It'd be a guaranteed safety, right? I mean, she'd be with me, and I could say she was just a lovely woman I had met in Italy who's family had recently passed away; or make up some similar story. Having her live with us would be a bit strange, but it wouldn't be forever obviously, just until I can set her up elsewhere, maybe find a way to smuggle her to America. I just couldn't tell them where I had actually met her, or that she was a Jew. She could even help

Anya around the house or go with her to work.

A slightly twinge of guilt stabbed me; honestly speaking, my only motive was of pure selfishness. It made me culpable as the plan began to unfold in my head, but at the same time I tried to convince myself I was doing it to save a girl. Not just to relieve myself of the voices, maybe even to see if I could figure out everything. Just how in the world she saw that sunrise, that beautiful landscape. Truthfully,I was incredibly jealous of her, of those gorgeous eyes that could see so much. I was so used to seeing everything in black and white, seeing everything covered in blood or darkness. It had begun to push my world into a monochrome abyss that I continued to fall deeper and deeper into. Yet, when I was around Feli, the abyss became colored, I stopped falling, everything was correct. Actually, it was better than that, it was something more. Something bright, colorful, and vibrant, it made me feel as though my heart was actually there.

When I was with her, I wasn't a monster for once.

Then, I said that one thing I never thought I would ever say as I glanced over at her, "Only if she wants to."

BAM! I UPDATED! XDDD Sorry it took so friggin long! QAQ I suck. I apologize. Anyway, I managed to crank out an ending for this chapter today and I didn't proofread too much towards the middle, hopefully there aren't too many mistakes! DX Oh and expect another series to come soon-ish. This story has quite a few (crap load more) chapters for it that I have planned, the story is indeed going to pick up, and there will be fluff. . So much fluff.

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia!

Please favourite and REVIEW! I love those things you don't even know! QAQ