Readers, I am so sorry I haven't updated as of late: I've had some issues I needed to deal with but give me a 'Hell Yeah' because those issues have been dealt with so I can officially get some writing done ;)... Now, on with the show... I promised Gamemakers which is almost ready
Hortensia Crane, Capitol Citizen.
Thank goodness that over the years I have perfected my poker face; you know the one I'm on about: The wide smile that displays your perfect pearly whites and that look in your eyes that makes it appear as if you care about what the blithering idiot before you is saying when all you'd like to do is quite literally shut them up by kicking them repeatedly in the face with your brand new lilac stilettos. Or is that just me?
"Oh Sia, I look ridiculous. I simply cannot go in front of the cameras and be seen like this. I mean, I am Claudius Templesmith. I am an icon in Panem..." I just keep smiling, what is it with bloody celebrities? Is there some genetic mutation that makes those in the public eye suffer from SDD, which is Severe Diva Disorder in case you were wondering. If it comes out there is then I will pay good money to ensure the Capitol scientists find a way to eradicate the said gene. I note that Claudius is staring me and I know exactly what he wants, as do all the 'Icons of Panem': For people to fawn over them, for someone to stroke their already over inflated ego so I just nod along with his monologue of self pity.
"...I mean, my hair is meant to be fuschia and my eyes a soft orange and then these robes make me look fat; these clashing colours are meant to be starting trend. But I look like some kind of fat mess, once again everyone's eyes will be on Ceasar Flickerman and I'll just be his ugly, fat, smelly, horrible side kick..." Never have truer word been spoken; Claudius would benefit from a quick round of lunchtime liposuction but I can hardly say that, but he has deluded himself into thinking somehow the garnish coral robes are to blame for his startling resemblence to a multi coloured whale. I just shake my head, Caesar is the face and Claudius is the voice but I agree that Caesar is the more famous and rightly so: He is charming, amiable and good for gossip whereas Claudius is nothing but an annoyance and I mean is a commentator really necessary? This is the Hunger Games for Panem's sake, we don't need to be told what is happening seeing as its all pretty self explanatory: Child kills other child. But seeing as we are about to go on NATIONAL television, it seems the task of putting this ridiculously pathetic shambles of a man together. Oh joy.
"Oh Claudius, don't be melodramatic. You are an icon, for goodness sake; put yourself together, in a matter of minutes minutes we are onstage and if you do not arrive there being as fabulous as ever then it is not worth appearing at all I'll tell you that now for free. Now I'll leave you now to compose yourself." Well, that may have come out harsher than expected but sometimes you need to be a bitch and from the devastated expression on his face I seriously hope he fixes himself up because if he embarasses me there will be hell to pay and that is the honest truth.
I storm into my dressing room and slam the door shut; I deserve compensation for dealing with the likes of Claudius and his astounding levels of stupidity, I slide down the door and take a few calming breathes before clambering to my feet: Which I remind you is an impressive feat when wearing skyscraper stilettos. I strut to the mirror, my face devoid of any drastic alterations despite my dyed auburn hair; I paint my lips a vivid scarlett and I'm ready to get this show on the road so I can go home and indulge in a large glass of vodka, or five.
"Mrs Crane, they're ready for you now.." I look up to see one of Claudius' little entourage who is a perfect example of my reluctance to have cosmetic surgery: orange skin, silver hair and breasts that resemble small mountains. Classless and altogether rather revolting in my honest opinion but that doesn't count now so I just follow the plastic spastic.
"And here is our special guest, Mrs Hortensia Crane, wife to our current Head Gamemaker but famous in her own right as the greatest journalist to ever grace the Capitol. The woman who seems to know everything here to give us the scoop on this years Hunger Games tributes." I walk out to the deafening applause, blowing kisses to the audience and placing my hand daintily against my chest to show how much their affection means to me or some rubbish like that. By the time I've made my way over to Claudius, the human whale has somehow got to his feet and we exchange the customary air kisses and I'm seated in some red velvet chair.
"Oh, Claudius it is a pleasure to be here again with you." Another thing I need to thank God or whatever deity may exist for: The sacred ability to lie through my teeth, convincingly. Claudius simpers like a teenage girl and the one thought that pops into my head is that this man before me is camper than a row of tents, as well as being as wide as a row of tents. I can't help the giggle but the audience roar, Claudius silences them with a gesture before turning to me and so the inquisition begins.
"Now Sia, with Seneca becoming the Head Gamemaker we're all sure you know what's in store for the tributes. Spill" Oh the rapport is so amazing, mind the poorly concealed sarcasm. Do I know that President Snow has ordered Seneca to create an arena that is specifically designed to mentally torture the tributes across two terrains to send a message that any inkling of rebellion will not be accepted? Yes, but not because Seneca told me but because nothing gets by me, call it an advantage of being a major gossip and a nosey bitch. But I'm also rather fond of my life so I'm not going to run my mouth, I take a moment to look into space inquisitively before replying.
"Not exactly, I know that us and the tributes are in for some big surprises. Seneca has been working hard to make sure these games are going to be the best yet and I have complete faith in him. So as for the arena it seems like we are all going to have to wait and see." I give a girly giggle for appearances sake and twirl my hair around my finger while Claudius is pulling shocked faces at the audience and trying to vamp things up: Seriously Claudius should stick with commentary and leave public relations to the likes of myself and Flickerman. I mean he seriously looks like a constipated clown wearing that ridiculous make up and that ludicrous expression. Seneca on the other hand, my cowardly husband, would not have been working hard at all: He'd be delegating work to that sadistic cow Crimson Hardwick while he sits around shitting a brick that by the end of the year he doesn't join the list of Head Gamemakers who retire under mysterious circumstances and are never seen again. You don't need to be a genius to figure that one out.
"Oooo... Everyone is so excited now, today is the day when the tributes will perform for the Gamemakers and be rated between 0 and 12." He gestures to a screen, where all 24 tributes appear gathered in a waiting area to perform like dancing monkeys: Poor bastards, 23 of those children are going to die. I mean I don't find that entertaining, I'd rather watch strippers while gossiping about who is sleeping with who but alas this is Panem. I continue to stare at the screen until Claudius snaps his fingers in front of my face. Cheeky bastard, mind the foul language, but if this weren't being screened live all across Panem I would've broken his fingers and watched him cry like the little sissy boy he is but instead I take option D. More commonly know as option ditz. I shake my head and simper like an estrogen fueled train wreck.
" Ah, Sia we thought we'd lost you there for a moment. I was saying we're running out of time, so if you can give us a little insight into a few tributes that'd be great." He looks a little scared and desperate he should be. For his earlier cheek I might remain silent; or tell everyone about his nights of morphling fueled sex with young men who are barely legal. Oh that would be hilarious, but I remember my favour to my beloved Seneca and I am nothing but the dutiful wife am I? Once again I apologise for the unadulterated sarcasm.
"Well, one little tidbit I've heard is that we have some little rivalries forming which will make for some delectable drama." Claudius is hanging on my every word like a starving dog on a bone, maybe I'll buy him some dignity for his birthday. He leans in and hey what kind of girl doesn't love attention? So I lean towards him, playing up to the audience while trying to not inhale his toxic aftershave.
" From what I've gathered the male tribute from 8 and the girl from 9 have been butting heads in a way which promises a nice showdown when the timer hits 0 but Cladius, that is all I can tell you for now but keep an eye on my blog for some more juicy gossip about this years tributes." There is a collective gasp and the fat ass commentator looks as if he has been told Christmas has been cancelled, aww too bad. Claudius regains composure.
"Coming up next is Ordaina Ilbert, the new biggest singing sensation here in the Capitol." And that folks is my cue to leave, I jump to my feet and practically sprint towards my dressing room. Finally, its over and I can hear the siren call of my vodka but no: Hortensia Crane wasn't blessed with a simple life; she was the cat that curiosity would kill or so that was what the telegram said anyway. I love my gossip but I swear it puts me up shit creek without a paddle far too many times for my liking.
The Cat That Curiosity Killed,
Someone once said all great plans come from that one spark, will you be one of those people that help that spark grow? Or are you content to sit in the eternal winter?
I will make contact soon,
The Perfumed Thorn.
How mysterious? My sarcasm is on top form today and how cliche? Really why bother with nicknames when I've known about Rosie's little plans of rebellion since we were teenage girls, best friends gossiping in our bedrooms. I'm shocked it's actually happening, but Rosie's tenacity was always admirable and I was cursed with an insatiable curiosity which is something that she knows all too well. So with one hell of an exasperated sigh I pull a lighter from my bag and set the note alight before whipping out my mobile and punching in the numbers I've punched in oh so many times before. It continues to ring and then goes to answerphone, will she ever learn to answer that God forsaken phone of hers? Well then I'll be leaving a voicemail it seems:
"Sweetie Darling? It's been too long and I can't wait to hear what you've been upto. We'll have to have cocktails at my place, we can talk about you and Archie; tell Blossom I said hello and her Auntie Sisi will come see her soon."
I hang up and shake my head happy with the vagueness of the response, I know exactly why she is talking to her bastard sperm donor: The DiMae chip, Rosalinde's crazy hag of a grandmother: Scarlett Snow, the tyrant that she had it removed from the leg of a tribute in the very first Hunger Games seeing as the chip. I've heard from an extremely reliable resource that both the tribute and her partner were evacuated to District 13 which supposedly still exists; so it seems Rosa must of found something out. Hence our upcoming chat over cocktails at my apartment which I thoroughly de-bugged; one of the many advantages of being a journalist/Gossip extraodinairre.
What have I gotten myself into? I, Hortensia Crane nee, and soon again will be, Marchbanks, will be the cat that curiosity killed. Oh, Rosalinde Scarlett Snow how I curse the day I met you.
HAHA! Despite it not being what I said I hoped you liked it. So, Hortensia? What do we think? She will be a regular methinks...
It is a short and sweet chapter that just popped into my head:D
REVIEW! And yes, I'm almost done with the Gamemakers so it should be up soon... Any predictions of scores?
New tributes: (Remember to give opinions)
Lillian 'Angel' Porter (13) District 9 (Vividly Cloudy Dreams): Nobody can deny that Lily is an Angel; selfless and compassionate. Despite the immense adversity she and her family face; she works her hardest to help whoever she can, however she can: Volunteering at centres to make and serve food to those poorer than even her, trying to learn as much about medicine as possible to try and ease the pain and suffering she sees around her. She wants people to like her but that does not mean she will not fight for something she believes in: She despises bullies and when incensed she has quite a mean and vindictive streak. Being raised around healers, she has learnt how to keep a secret; and be deceiving when she deems necessary. A little Angel, but when she steps into the arena will she become an avenging angel?
Daria 'Dare' Hemlock (18) District 7 (TaraxXx): Daria is a cruel girl, hardened to the world. She has lived a life of abuse without a strong female role model, but rather than becoming empathetic and a 'better' person: She has become a cold and calculating young woman; stubborn and at times downright cruel. Dare has exceptionally high expectations of herself and will do whatever she feels necessary to achieve these expectations; strong and cruel, she sees the games as an opportunity to prove her strength: And she will kill without a second thought. Bitter and resentful, she is like a ticking time bomb with so many suppressed emotions: People had better watch out when this girl explodes, it won't be pretty and people will more than likely get hurt. But beneath this icy exterior is a girl like any other, scared and angry; hiding many insecurities. How will she fare if her cruelty and bitter demeanour aren't enough to take down the competition?
Tealana Sawyer (17) District 1 (IzzyRoxUrSox14): She is a spoilt young lady,and as an only child she really is Daddy's Princess. She is a hardened career, lethal and devoted to entering and eventually winning the Hunger Games. She has an incessant need to be liked, she needs to impress people; her lack of self worth is what makes her need to win these games. To achieve that sense of satisfaction, to know she is loved and respected even though her friends and family adore her. She is an average teenager, insecure and paranoid what people think about her despite her tendency to hide behind a facade of the 'happy go lucky' girl. How will this insecure girl cope when others are trying to tear her down? Will her paranoia get the better of her, or will she win and find that sense of achievement and satisfaction she craves? Will she ever go back to being Daddy's Little Girl?
Arlie Chapelle (15) District 3 (lifeisapicturetakeitwell): Arlie, the girl trapped in her own world: Trapped in the asylum of District 3 and totally oblivious to the Hunger Games. She may be artistic and imaginative but that doesn't change the fact this girl is severely schizophrenic; Unstable and downright unpredictable: What will happen when the girl with the silvery blue eyes enters the arena alongside some of her 'friends'?