Enjoy. xD

Chapter 22

Nick didn't walk far. He didn't want to be too far away. He ended up outside, laying underneath a familiar tree with his eyes closed as he tried to figure out his thoughts and feelings. He'd never felt this way about anyone before, especially not a human. It was crazy and something made him think maybe it was love, but he couldn't think that now. Not when he could lose Jeff at any moment. It would hurt too much.

What would he do if Jeff said he couldn't do this? He hadn't even considered that until now. He'd probably leave town. Jeff was the only thing keeping him there, and it would hurt too much to be right there in this small town with him. Nick shook his head. Maybe it would be okay. Maybe if he just took a deep breath, and they talked this out, maybe Jeff would be okay with this. He was still Nick. He hadn't tried to be anything different to Jeff at all, he just hadn't told him everything.

The thoughts just seemed to circle in his head. He hated thinking about all the things that could go wrong, but he couldn't help it. It was hours before he finally went back to the room. The sun had long since gone down and he hoped Jeff had gone to sleep, worried about what he'd say as he slipped into the room.

Jeff probably sat there for a long time. He almost just fell asleep sitting against the wall, but jumped awake.

He stood up slowly, and went into the bathroom. He was a mess. Was this really worth it? Was this pain worth it? He was only able to use one hand to splash cold water on his face, and it just wasn't working. He had puffy eyes, and just sat on the edge of his bed again.

Nick was a supernatural being, and that meant danger. That mean risking everything he had to lose for him. It all came back to whether it was worth it or not.

Jeff choked a sob again and began crying once more. He never was one to show his emotions. He was always that happy-go-lucky guy that was never put down. On the inside, he was just lonely. He was scared. He was broken. He was the guy that would be the most screwed up in life.

The feeling of confusion, and love, and heartbreak mixed wasn't a good one. Jeff stood up and shoved everything off his desk. Throwing it all to the side, and throwing his phone. He didn't want it. He didn't want to think anymore. In the end, he curled up on top of his blankets, leaving his mess and let the sobs wrack throughout his body.

Nick wasn't sure what he was expecting to find when he got back. The lights out, Jeff asleep, maybe not even there. That's what he'd thought. That's what he'd hoped. Maybe not the not being there. He wanted Jeff there, where he knew he was safe, but this. This was the last thing he was expecting.

He didn't even think about the mess scattered across the floor. That wasn't what mattered, because when he walked into the room, and saw Jeff crying like that, his impulse was to go straight to him, to look after him. Nick didn't care if Jeff hated him. He didn't care if Jeff never wanted to see him again after this, he just had to help.

Quickly sitting beside Jeff on the bed, he pulled him into his arms, hugging him tightly and rocking him gently as he hummed softly, trying to soothe him. It wasn't much, but it was really all he could do. He did this. That was all he could think. He'd done this to Jeff. Jeff was usually so happy, and he'd broken him down and made him like this. Nick hadn't felt this much like a monster in his entire life. Burying his face in the top of Jeff's head, he took a deep breath, murmuring softly, "Every thing's okay. Just breathe."

Jeff didn't say anything, but sunk into his touch. He was glad he was back. That was a good thing right? It meant that he wanted him. Right? He didn't know what to say. He didn't have anything to say. Actually he had millions of things to talk about, but all he wanted was to lie in his arms and let the peace of sleep take him.

It wasn't that easy though. It was hard to calm down. Jeff didn't realize he finally did fall asleep, but it wasn't peaceful. He ached and tossed and turned. It was probably bothering Nick. After a few hours, he eventually sat up and rubbed at his eyes.

Nick wasn't asleep when Jeff got up. He didn't sleep much at the best of times, but that night, he definitely wouldn't be getting any sleep. He couldn't. All he could think about was what was supposed to happen next. He was a monster. A complete monster. Only a monster could make Jeff feel the way he was feeling.

He let out a shaky breath. The lights were out, and he was wrapped up in a blanket. Nick was beside him. He could hear him breathing, and feel him. He didn't want to wake him, so he slipped out of the bed and went into the bathroom. He didn't bother turning on the lights. It was almost like he was cried out. After sitting in silence for a few minutes, he just decided against staying awake, and took his pill and slipped back into the bed again. This time he wrapped his arm around Nick as best as he could and waited for sleep.

Nick watched carefully as Jeff went to the bathroom, this fear in the back of his mind that maybe something will go wrong. maybe he'll leave, and he'll never see Jeff again. That was stupid, though, right? If anyone should leave, it should be him, not Jeff. Nick sighed softly. He really didn't want to be thinking like this.

Nick stayed still as Jeff came back, not wanting to talk. He was scared that if he did talk, he'd just make things worse. A soft sigh escaped his lips when he felt Jeff's arm wrap around him. He couldn't hate him completely, right? Not if he was doing things like that? There had to be some form of hope. Nick waited until he was sure Jeff would be asleep before turning over to face him, wrapping his own arm around Jeff, and watching over him as he slept. That was all he could think to do, to focus on Jeff, and all the good things Jeff had given him.

Jeff couldn't sleep all night. He fell asleep for a little while, but tossed and turned all night.

"I'm sorry I'm keeping you awake," Jeff whispered into the blackness when he noticed Nick was awake. He sighed and just lie on his back. His eyes stung, and he knew his face was probably still blotchy.

Tomorrow morning was going to be terrible. He had a morning class too. Actually, his phone was somewhere on the side of the room, where it might be broken. Or at least shut off when he threw it.

Nick looked over at Jeff, shaking his head, "I don't sleep very much. Only an hour or two a night." He shrugged. He supposed it didn't really matter anymore, trying to keep this from Jeff. He knew the worst, he may as well find out the affects it had on him, too. Shifting, he just watched Jeff for a moment, trying to figure out what he was thinking.

Nick took a shaky breath, looking down at his hands as he picked nervously at his nails. He may as well just say it, he supposed. As much as this killed him, he was going to say it. "Do…Do you hate me? Because I-I can just go, you know? I've already screwed up your life enough. If you want me to go, I can just leave and you'll never see me again."

Jeff let out a breath and stayed silent for a few seconds. Nick sounded so nervous when he asked that. "No," he said softly, "I don't hate you. I don't want you to go either." He really didn't. Even if this would be hard, he came to the decision to stay with Nick. It really was his only chance to turn back, but he had a good amount of time to think about it.

"I swear I was going to tell you. I just hadn't figured out how yet." Nick bit his lip nervously, staring at the space between them. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "I didn't plan on coming here and growing so attached to you, but I don't know what I'd do if I did leave."

Nick looked up at Jeff, watching him for a moment, trying to figure out how he was feeling. He reached out, tentatively taking Jeff's hand and threading their fingers together, "I'd never do anything to hurt you. Actually, I'd do just about anything to keep you safe."

"I believe you. I'm honestly not even that mad at you for not telling me. I mean, well I don't know. I didn't know what I wanted. I do want it though. I'll get older, but that's okay. It's time spent with you, and that's what I want. I don't want to meet some guy that I'll just end up living within the same spot with and never really doing anything with my life. I choose you. I don't care about the danger of it all. In fact, it sounds exciting," Jeff said. He had pulled their hands together as best as he could. His fingers really only stood out on his cast.

Nick just stared at Jeff as he spoke, taking in his words. How had he gotten this lucky? Why wasn't Jeff running away yet? He'd made him feel all these horrible feelings, he just wanted Jeff to be happy, even if that meant he left. But Jeff wanted him to stay, and there was absolutely no way Nick was going anywhere if he wanted him. Nick shifted closer, carefully resting his head against Jeff's shoulder, avoiding his broken wrist, "All I want is you. I don't…I don't know what happened when I met you, but you're special. You're so different from all the other humans." Reaching out, he brushed his thumb over Jeff's cheek, looking into his eyes, "And it may be dangerous, but I promise I'd do anything to keep you safe."

Jeff rested his head on Nick's shoulder and sighed.

"I know I'm just so awesome," Jeff said, trying to brighten the mood. It was a really bad time for a joke. He regretted that actually. "And I guess I can promise to keep you from possessing people? Is that what you do? I don't really know. You haven't much told me about yourselves," Jeff said, trying to think of something to give back to him, instead of just being the human.

Nick chuckled softly, brushing his fingers gently against Jeff's and watching them brush together. He shook his head, "No. I don't know about the other demons, but I'm not into the possession thing. I'm happy to stay where I am." He hesitantly kissed Jeff's cheek. "I think this body is more than fine for me."

He frowned, trying to figure out what to tell him about himself now. It was different than before, not having to hide this big secret. "I really don't like the way a lot of the others are. They're all so…I don't even know how you'd describe it. They don't care about hurting humans, a lot of them. I don't want to hurt anyone. I just want to feel human." He looked up at Jeff, smiling softly, "You make me feel human."

"Well good, because I like the way you look. You're very good looking," Jeff mumbled. He was beginning to fall back asleep now. "Glad I can help," Jeff mumbled, snuggling down into Nick and getting comfortable.

Nick blushed, shifting closer, "Well, I'm glad you think so." Nick was just glad Jeff was talking to him. He wasn't expecting Jeff to ever speak to him again after this. How had he gotten this lucky? People usually ran for the hills when they found out things like this.

"I do want to know though, so you'll have to tell me all about you," Jeff said.

Nick nodded at Jeff's words, "I'll tell you anything you want to know. I promise." Pressing another kiss to Jeff's cheek, he murmured softly, "Just get some sleep, okay?"

Jeff nodded and sighed. He was just so tired. Even resolving his problems, and having Nick there, he kept waking up all night.