SO I MADE A DUMB MISTAKE AND FORGOT TO ADD A CHAPTER, SO THINGS GOT MOVED AROUDN A BIT, AND THERE IS A NEW CHAPTER, THE ONE I MISSED, CALLED SECRET, SO READ THAT TO CATCH UP. SORRY FOR THE CNFUSION. I PROMISE…IM NTO REALLY THIS DUMB!

My house was quiet, which usually was the case, but Kendall said he would be here. I set down all the bags of groceries on the kitchen counter. I took off my jacket and placed it on the back of a chair at the table. I pushed my sleeves up on my arms and walked into my room. I smiled seeing a bundle under the blankets in the middle of the bed. I walked to the left side and sat down pulling the blanket off his face. His eyes stayed closed an di bent down kissing his forehead. I pulled away and he opened his eyes, letting a small smile come across his face.

"Hey…" It sounded so tired and cute it made me smile. I kicked my shoes off and lay on my side next to him.

"How are you feeling?" He shrugged his shoulders and yawned. "Did you get out of bed at all?" He laughed and nodded.

"I made myself a pb&j from lunch at like 12." I nodded and couldn't help but think that was a lie. He rolled onto his back and stretched his arms out over himself. I didn't know what it was, but it felt like there was a wall up between us.

"Well I'm going to go make some soup." He just nodded, avoiding eye contact and I got up, taking my tie off. I threw it on my dresser and as I walked out of my room, I saw my closet door open. I could have sworn I closed it, but didn't think anything of it.

I worked in my kitchen for a good 10 minutes before he came out. He was still wearing his clothes from last night but one of my sweaters. He sat down at the table and looked right at the wood. I leaned against the counter and raised my eyebrows.

"Okay what's wrong?" He looked up and shook his head smiling. "I know body language Kendall. Something's bothering you. You won't even look at me." He quickly looked down and shook his head again. "Kendall."

"Nothing Logan." I sighed and turned away from him, going back to my work. "Do you still love James?" I stopped mid chop of a carrot and felt my blood boil.

"Why are you asking that?" I turned to him and he was now looking directly at me.

"Do you?" I put the knife down and walked out to him. He looked up at me and shrugged his shoulders. "It's a simple question Logan. Yes or no." I shook my head and he laughed looking away. "So then why do you have a box in your closet of everything James?"

"You looked through my stuff?"

"It was very well hidden." We both went quiet and I sat down. He leaned forward on the table, never taking his eyes off me. "If you didn't love him, you wouldn't have that stuff."

"I think I'm allowed to have whatever I want in my God damn closet." He swallowed hard and I tried to keep my anger down. "You shouldn't have looked through my stuff." I got up and went back out to the kitchen.

"This wouldn't be a problem if you weren't hiding shit form me." I continued to chop things. "You do love him!" I turned and he was standing up looking near tears. "If you didn't you would have said no right away and we wouldn't be having this conversation!" I threw the knife on the counter and walked right up to him.

"Of course I still love him Kendall! But I'm not in love with him anymore!" His body relaxed and he blinked back some tears. "Stop acting like a child! How many times do I have to tell you, he broke my heart, and I can never be with him again! He is just a friend!"

As if this couldn't get any worse I heard a lock in my door and he looked over my head eyebrows scrunched. Not the greatest time for James to show up.

"Loges?" He smiled and looked down at me.

"Yeah I see that now." James walked in and stopped. "He has a key?" I looked away and felt stuck. There was no way I could fix this. "Whatever Logan." He pushed past me, without looking at James and walked back into my room.

"I can come back Logan…" I shook my head and motioned for him to sit down. He did and looked worried. Kendall walked out, my sweater off his body. He walked past us and went right to the door. "Logan…" James stood up and I raised a finger. I walked past him, just in time to have the door slammed in my face. I opened it up quick and shut it quietly behind me. He was half way down the stairs, hands in his pockets.

"Kendall you are not walking home!" He didn't stop or turn around so I ran down, and got in front of him quickly. He lightly shoved me and walked past me. He walked down the sidewalk and turned the corner to go out on the street. He was gone. I stood motionless for a minute, before I walked back up the stairs.

James was sitting at my kitchen table looking awkward and when I walked in the kitchen he stood up.

"I am so sorry Logan." I shook my head and gave him a small smile.

"Don't. It's not your fault. All me here. You want a drink? I think I got some beer…" I walked to the fridge and he nodded.

"What happened…if I can ask?" I grabbed the only beer in the fridge and kicked the door shut. I popped open the top and shook my head.

"He found a box of things of yours." He sighed and sat down taking the beer. "I don't know. He thinks I still love you, and I tried telling him I do, but I'm not in love with you." He smiled and took a sip. I noticed on his left a hand, there was no ring. Because we've known each other for so long he can sense when I'm trying to figure out how to ask something.

"We broke up." My heart dropped and I took a seat next to him. "Well…I broke up with him. I called everything off. He…" He smiled and looked down. "You'll get a kick out of this." He looked back up at me and sighed. "He was cheating on me." I reached out quick and put a hand on his shoulder.

"That doesn't make me happy James. I'm sorry." He shook his head and took a sip of his beer. "You came out here all the way to tell me that?" He smiled and I laughed.

"No. I was serious about the phone conversation the other day. I wouldn't mind having a 19 year old to warp into what I want." I laughed and got up walking in the kitchen, going back to my work. "He's cute." I laughed and nodded.

"And hung like a fucking horse." I heard him choke on his beer and laughed turning to him. "I thought it couldn't get any bigger than you but…damn." He laughed and I felt a pang hit my heart, like talking about him, Kendall, only made things that much worse.

"So why'd you just let him walk away?" I watched James push himself on the counter behind me swinging his legs, holding his beer.

"Because…James it's insane! I could lose my job for dating a student! It would ruin his name, everyone would look at him like he was a bad person, and I don't want that for him. It's best we just…let it go."

"That is a bunch of bullshit and you know it." I leaned against the counter and looked down. "Logan you talk about that kid like he's fucking Jesus! You love him, you're just too damn afraid to admit it. Like always." I looked up quick and he shrugged his shoulders. "He deserves to know the truth. About how you feel about him. Stop stringing him along because you 'afraid of what might happen.' Just let the chips fall where they may."

"Yeah okay…so how do I fix this. He's walking home." He smiled and leaned on his knees.

"Go stop him. Go get him, grab that gorgeous blond hair and kiss the life out of him. It works. Trust me…I've done it to you a lot." I smiled and he pointed to the door. I walked past him grabbing my keys and running out of the house.

I found him walking down the street slowly. I pulled up behind him a few feet back and got out quick. I ran up to him and heard my heart break. He was crying, hard and I felt like the biggest douche in the universe. He tried walking around but I grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him hard. He didn't push me away. He kissed back, but at lease he didn't push away. I slowly pulled away and he looked confused.

"I love you."