Dec. 26, 2010
I guess it's going to be a difficult day today. I can't walk. I guess my night with Ryuzaki would be the cause of that.
I don't really care. It was an amazing night. I wish it lasted longer.
Uncle Mello walked in the room- or pounded since the door was locked- complaining that he heard shouting and… pounding on the walls. It makes me laugh now that I think about it. I love Ryuzaki so much!
It makes me angry since he's the only one I think about. I feel like a total dope because of it.
Dec. 28, 2010
Wow. I didn't write much last time, did I? Nothing's really changed much.
Everyone's still here. All my Uncles are staying till New Years. I guess it's to let me have the rest of the Month with Ryuzaki.
Uncle Mello force fed me chocolate. He somehow managed to hook a pipe up with the spouton his chocolate fountain and shoved it down my throat when I was asleep. Ryuzaki wasn't happy. I'm not sure what happened after that. I've spent the entire day scrubbing chocolate out of my mouth. Bleh.
Ryuzaki told me that you're supposed to make a New Year's Resolution. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm pretty much happy the way I am. I don't really know what a resolution is anyway…
Resolution: 1 the process of resolving. That can't be it. 2 Firmness of purpose. I don't think this is helping me at all.
I guess I better go. I think I hear someone coming.
Dec. 31, 2010
Well I get to stay up till midnight tonight! I don't know if I'm happy about that or not. I think I figured out what my New Year's Resolution is! I'll tell you after New Year's.
I was outside with everyone all day. There's still snow on the ground!
Uncle Mello pretty much forced Uncle Matt to go outside. It was so funny, but kind of weird. We had to drag him outside! I guess this family is anything but normal.
Near built a snow fort. I know it doesn't sound very exciting, but it's Near. He built a giant four-walled fort that came up to my waist. Near and Gevanni were crouched down inside it doing… I don't know what they were doing.
Then Matt and Mello declared war.
He started throwing snowballs at the fort actually landing some inside. Then they started coming after Ryuzaki and me. We were walking around the yard both watching and then talking.
Speaking of which I should probably get back to watching my videos. BLAH! Why did I just randomly come out writing that?
Anyway we all were under siege by Mello. He sent flailing snowballs from everywhere. Me and L joined Near's side hiding behind the fort.
I actually heard Gevanni laughing! I've never heard him make much noise, so I thought he was like Near and Ryuzaki. I guess I was wrong.
Then it was my turn to become evil. I started throwing snowballs at them. Matt and Mello cheered at the inside support they just landed. I walked over piling on many snowballs. Near, Gevanni and Ryuzaki were counteracting my attacks with their own snowballs.
In the end we pretty much ran straight through Nears fort. He was pissed because of it, but forgave us. I tackled Ryuzaki into the snow. He called me "a bloody traitor" so I kissed him and apologized.
Then we wanted to mess with Ryuzaki afterwards. When we started walking back towards the house I shoved snow down his pants. His face was priceless! He froze for about three seconds to figure out what was inside his pants. Then he turned and started lecturing me about his pants or something. I wasn't really listening because Near and Matt were busy shoveling snow into a bucket.
Next thing I know Mello's dumping the snow onto Ryuzaki's head! I laughed so hard after that! Ryuzaki was a bit angry. I brushed the snow out of his hair, but he looked so cute with it!
So that leads to me here sitting by the fire place drinking hot chocolate. Well, tea right now. Mello stole my hot chocolate. Bastard.
Jan. 2, 2011
The first time I'm writing this year! I feel like crap. Everyone left so they could celebrate New Year's together. Ryuzaki took advantage of that.
We started shooting fireworks a little early (about 22:00). We wanted to commemorate New Year's in some way. Uncle Mello got these really cool Japanese fireworks. He pointed the first one at me and told me to catch it. So I stood across from him as he lit it. Ryuzaki yelled at him and moved his hand away from my direction. I guess he wanted to catch it…
Anyway after they left Ryuzaki took me up to the roof of his house and we stayed there watching the fireworks. We made out after that and I discovered the joys of a cock ring. That was sarcasm. Not about the cock ring, about the joy.
Lawliet (Yes I'm still mad at him for it) started feeling me up and the next think I know is this metal ring around my dick. I didn't really think much of it, and then… the pressure. The pressure was unbearable and he was enjoying it! And the thing that really pissed me off was that he came about twice and then made me beg for him to take the fucking ring off me!
I can't move today. It hurts everywhere. I can't believe this.
You know what else? He got Watari to buy it! Watari. That poor man. Why can't Lawliet go out and buy his own fucking cock ring?
I need to go back to sleep.
Jan. 5, 2011
I hate this! I'm so confused!
I told Ryuzaki my New Year's Resolution, which was; Become a better Light. I know it's corny, but I really wanted to know.
Ryuzaki told me what happened…
Apparently when you use a Death Note there are certain rules you have to follow. Ryuzaki used one to his advantage, which was: If a Death Note owner accidentally misspells a person's name four times, that person will be free from the Death Note.
He asked someone he'd never met to write his name down four times. They misspelled it four times. They must have been stupid. How hard is it to spell L Lawliet? I guess I'll never know. At least Ryuzaki's not dead! I'd be sad.
Jan. 10, 2011
I haven't written in a while. I'm sorry…
Kira keeps talking to me. He's becoming more and more persistent. He keeps coming into my dreams at night yelling at me. Ryuzaki's going to die. He can't die. I'll kill myself before I let that happen.
He tells me to quit screwing him and get to thinking about seeing Sayu. That's the last thing I want to think about! I hate him. I want him dead.
Jan. 13, 2011
I'm so tired. I think something's bothering Ryuzaki. Maybe Kira's wiggled his way into his dreams.
Well I've decided to look on the bright.
He gives me advice (Which I choose not to keep).
I don't have headaches anymore (Unless he's screaming something in my head).
I learn a little about myself (But I really only find that I was even more of a monster when I had memories).
I guess that's a start right? We're having a really peaceful day today. At least I am. Ryuzaki left me here to go get a few things. My guess is cake or something.
Bleh. How can someone eat that much sugar?
Jan. 20, 2011
Is it possible to have sex and then fight afterwards?
Well it happened. I think Ryuzaki is either getting paranoid or I'm losing my mind. I don't even remember what we were fighting about.
If I had to guess it'd be that I'm losing my mind. I mean am the one who keeps hearing voices and everything. I'm not that soft or submissive towards it now. Most of what Kira says is a lie anyway.
Guess where I am? The closet.
I haven't been here in a while. It seems almost like a dream- or nightmare- since I haven't been in here in forever. At least I'm not in handcuffs. Yep and I have you, journal! I like to pretend like your real since it helps my thoughts. I basically take you with me everywhere.
I feel so vulnerable. It's so quiet. That means I can't block Kira out as easily. His voice vibrates off the walls. I'm scared.
Jan. 26, 2011
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!
All I hear is laughter. His torturing, disgusting laughter. I hate this. I'm finally happy and he has to come and ruin everything.
It's moments like these were I wish I'd forgotten everything. I can't sleep. I keep seeing his eyes. Are those my eyes? I hate this!
I'm alone. Painfully and utterly alone. Where is everyone? Why can't they hear me screaming? I'm slipping…
Feb. 1, 2011
It's almost time. Only a few more weeks and I'll be home. Ryuzaki told me that my parents moved, but took all of their old furniture with them. Maybe I'll remember something!
I hope it's nothing bad. Ryuzaki is still on edge about that comment on Ryuk I made. Ryuk. I only remember his name and that he liked apples. I wonder how close we were?
I don't think I'll ask Ryuzaki. He seems to be on edge enough as is…
Feb. 7, 2010
I end these at the lamest times. Well it's not like I have enough time for them. Then my thoughts start running out…
Anyway, I started watching more videos. I've actually begun to get bored with them. Could this mean that I'm becoming more human?
So I asked Ryuzaki if he could tell me one thing about myself so I could build off of it. He said, "You used to lie… a lot." Thanks Ryuzaki that helps me tons! That was sarcasm.
I've been using that a lot. Sarcasm. It's really appealed to me. I wish Uncle Mello was here. I miss him. In fact I miss all of them. (Even Near!) That's a big leap for me.
I smell cake. Oh gosh, Ryuzaki's coming! I've got to go.
Feb. 15, 2011
Best fucking night of my life (In more ways than one). Last night was Valentine's Day. Weird countries have special night to sow their love for each other. Best. Fucking. Night. Of. My. Life.
I got Ryuzaki some chocolate covered strawberries because I wanted to give him at least something! He ate them off me. Like he covered me in whipped cream and he fucking ate them off me.
I'm not going into anymore details because I fucking love that fucking bastard.
I'm turning into Uncle Mello. Next thing I know I'll become some masochist...I'm so happy. I feel so good right now! But…
…Something inside me feels like I'm about to screw it up.
Feb. 20, 2011
Only six days left. We're getting there two days early to see my sister.
I'm actually pretty excited… and nervous. What is she like? Will she like me? Stupid question. Is she any different? Am I any different? That's the only thing that concerns me.
Ryuzaki keeps telling me to be myself and she'll love me no matter what because she's my sister. I'm still worried! I haven't seen her in… When was the last time I saw her?
I don't remember her at all. I just remember what I saw in that picture L gave me. I want to see her, but I kind of don't because I want to stay with Ryuzaki.
Will we still be together after this?
Feb. 26, 2011
We've been flying for forever in- no lie- Ryuzaki's helicopter. How does he have so much money? Well he is a detective… I what to get out so bad! I'm so excited and nervous at the same time…
We're landing and that's when I see her along the parking deck along with Uncle Mello. She's got long, shoulder length, brown hair. Her eyes are also brown but filled with sadness. Her skin is pale making her look much older than she actually was, but she was still beautiful. She wore a zebra striped shirt under a black leather jacket. She had on tight black jeans that wear tucked into knee high, heeled boots. Her hands were in a praying position as she scanned the parking deck. She looks like she's about to cry. She's obviously holding back something with eyes like hers.
This is my sister. My little sister, Sayu.
This is my filler chapter. Basically of what happened in short terms. I was freakin' out like "AH WHAT AM I GONNA WRITE? oh wait I gave Light a notebook... Let's use that!"
lolz my friends gave me the idea for the New Years thing. They were like "Make Mello point firecrackers at Light and L freak out!" lol. I loved it.
Next chapter: What will happen when Light meets Sayu? Basically, what I write. lolz. sorry 4 the super short chapter, but it IS a filler.