21

Light and L arrived at the hospital. There were no handcuffs; however L had an extra pair in his back pocket if he needed them. They walked in the hospital and saw Mello sulking by Matt's door. L walked up to Mello, "Mello?"

Mello looked up at them with red puffy eyes. "Matt's dead…"

Light's heart almost stopped. Instead it felt like it was going to burst from his chest. His reacted before he could speak. He ran away.

L knew he could catch up to Light. After all Light had nowhere to run, and he was sure Mello needed him a lot more than Light did at the moment. L placed his hand on Mello's shoulder, "Mello I am so sorry."

Mello's eyes sparkled before he broke into a fit of laughter. "Fooled you!" L tilted his head to one side as Mello burst into Matt's room, "They fell for it Mattie!" Mello gripped his sides as he and Matt burst into a fit of laughter.

L glared at Mello, "What kind of an idiot does that?" They both were silent. It was rare that L got mad, so they were surprised. "Matt could have died and yet you have the audacity to tell light and me something like that? Do you know how close we came to losing him? However, we should just act like everything is perfectly fine. After all, it's not like Matt could've died or anything!" L clenched his fists. He was now shaking from the anger flooding through his system. "Grow up, assholes." This surprised Matt and Mello. L never cursed unless he was seriously angry or frustrated in some way. L turned and headed off in the direction Light ran off in.

L scanned the hallways and rooms. He felt stupid for falling for Mello's trick. What's worse he felt stupid for letting Light run off. Who knows what must've been going through his mind?

Matt died because of me… Light thought cradling his kneels while curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor. If I hadn't tried to…

Why are you crying? A voice echoed in the back of Light's mind. You wanted him to die, so what's the problem? Now all that's left is to kill Mello and Ryuzaki.

"Kill Ryuzaki…" Light thought for a moment. Can I actually do that? I don't know if I can. I don't know why but there's something keeping me attached to him.

And those feelings will die along with Ryuzaki.

But if Ryuzaki dies then… what am I supposed to do?

Light sat alone in the dark. He'd run into the bathroom and luckily no one was there. He startled slightly about the conversations he's had with his other self. He knew Kira was inside of him, but this was the first time they ever disagreed on something. Light started thinking for a moment.

You're really going to have second thoughts about this? We've been planning this for years. You can't just change your mind after we've done this for so long.

I know, but something inside of me is compelling me to stay with Ryuzaki… I'm not sure what I want to—

"Get up," A gruff, angry voice shouted. Light looked around him. No one else seemed to be in the bathroom. Light slowly stood on his feet. "You are not going to abandon me like this!"

Light looked in the mirrors at his reflection. He shivered when he me the cold, red eyes. "H-how did you—"

"Shut up! You're just going to leave me while you go out gallivanting with some deranged detective that has an eating disorder?"

"Kira I—"

"I gave us everything and you're just going to blow me off? Where would you be without me? Some second rate office job where you sit and hear people complaining all day. You've got some nerve…" Kira paused glaring at the ground.

"…Kira I'm not abandoning you. I can't be me without you. I just thought that we could try something different."

"No…" Kira shook his head, "Not anymore. I've been tormented enough times. I don't want any part of him. He's already gotten us fighting."

"But he's taken care of us. He's been kind to us…"

"Shut up! If you want to go back to him then go! You're starting to sound more and more like him!" Kira turned away from Light.

"Like who?" Light arched one of his eyebrows staring sternly at Kira.

"Nothing. It seems I cannot erase the feelings you now posses of Ryuzaki." Kira muttered solemnly before fading away and leaving Light alone once more.

"Wait! Kira! Don't be mad. I'm not abandoning you! Please let's just give him a chance!" Light stood silently staring back at his own reflection. "Kira!"

"Light?" L said rushing into the bathroom. He thought he'd never find him. Light was clenching his fists against his sink. He turned towards L and felt water spill out onto his cheeks. L sighed in relief, "Are you alright?" L said stepping towards him after locking the door behind him.

Light felt his cheeks. Why was he crying? He pulled his fingers away and stared at the salty tears in surprise. "Light, why are you crying?" Light's eyes flashed to L. He shook his head slightly. He didn't know what to say.

Light felt two arms wrap around his shoulders and pull him into L's white T-shirt. L stroked Light's hair softly. Light's breath caught in his thought and tears started running down his face. He tried to bury himself down deeper into L's chest so that he wouldn't have to see what he looked like. L kissed Light's forehead, "Tell me what's wrong, Light."

Light breathed out a shaky breath and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. "… It's Kira… He feels like he's… being left behind…"

L tilted his head to one side, "Left behind?" L thought for a moment. "So he thinks you're leaving him for me?"

Light's eyes flashed open, "N-no way!" He pushed L away from him. "I Kira's apart of me! I can't leave him for you… and I-I don't love you." Light turned away from L and stared at his reflection.

L hugged Light from behind trailing his hands up and down Light's sides, "That's a shame because I love you." Light shivered feeling L's hot breath touch his neck. He was grinding into him slightly which was making Light wince.

"Ryuzaki, I'm sorry about earlier. I… didn't mean to cry like that," Light blushed trying to change the attitude.

"It's fine," L mutter nipping at Light's neck slightly.

Light yelped, "R-Ryuzaki stop!"

L looked at Light through the mirror. He looked confused and somewhat angry. L sighed but did not remove himself from Light. "Let me at least stay like this a little longer."

Light stiffened but nodded. L had already started to nuzzle back down into Light's neck. He inhaled some of Light's scent. "Light…" L traced his hands along Light's sides.

"Ryuzaki, I said you can stay like this, but I think you touching me just makes this awkward." L looped his fingers through Light's pants loops. "R-Ryuzaki…"

"Light…" L muttered turned Light towards him and crushed their lips together. L thoroughly started excavating the crevices of Light's mouth. Light stared in shock at L, but didn't move. He was trying to process what was going on. L moved back ever so slowly so that they weren't kissing anymore. "When were you this submissive?"

Light blushed slightly. "O-only when you force me to do things like this," Light growled.

L let Light go and just stared at him. That hurt that Light was thinking of this as L "forcing" him to do anything. L gave him a slight nod and walked out of the bathroom.

Light stared wide eyed at the door and fell to his knees. "What am I supposed to do?" Light whispered silently to himself.

"That's easy you take the sorry bastard back," Mello muttered from the other side of the bathroom wall. He stepped out and held up his hand as a greeting. "Hey doofus."

Light arched one of his eyebrows. Mello was acting… different. "Why are you here? I thought you'd be back in Matt's room grieving."

"Of course he didn't tell you," Mello muttered rolling his eyes. "Listen, I-Matt's not dead. We were just joking."

"What kind of a sick, twisted person make a joke about the person they love dying?"

Mello gave him a sheepish look, "This guy right here." Mello gave Light a half smile and helped him to his feet.

"We used to get along right? That's Ryuzaki told me."

Mello nodded, "Yeah … let's talk about this somewhere else. It stinks in here."

Light nodded and followed Mello to the hospital waiting area. They sat on opposite sides of the room. Light sat beside the window looking out at the parking lot and trees that stood everywhere. Mello sat by the exit because he had a clear view of Matt's room from it. "Light, I have to talk to you."

Light turned away from the window and stared back at Mello. "What is it Mello?" It felt weird talking to Mello because it wasn't like Light really understood where their friendship stood. Mello just seemed weird… to Light.

"Listen, I know you're going through a tough time right now, but you should stop being so selfish."

"Huh? I'm selfish?"

Mello nodded, "Do you not care about his feelings? I mean I heard everything you said with him. You said you and Kira were one and the same, so don't you think you're just being stubborn?"

Light sighed solemnly, "Mello, I can talk to you, right?" Mello nodded. "I-I feel like I'm being ripped in half. Every single time I see him half of me wants to leap into his arms, and the other half wants me to strangle him… I'm so confused."

"Because you love him…"

"No! I-I can't… I'm mean we're both guys and—"

"So? What do you think me and Matt are? What Near and Gevanni were?" Light flinched slightly. Mello's features softened, "Listen I'm sorry, but this is something you have to decide. If you don't I don't know how much more L can take."

Light arched one of his eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

Mello leaned forward, "You really are clueless aren't you?" Mello shook his head slightly, "L's crazy about you. He would die for you… and probably much more. You're not going to try and do anything for him."

Light thought for a moment, "You can tell that just by looking at him?"

Mello scoffed just a little, "I've known him my entire life. I know how L acts."

Light looked at his hands, "But what is it that I should do… I just feel like I'm… ah, forget it!"

Mello walked over to Light and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Don't worry. I know how you feel. You know I had to make these choices too."

"Really?"

"Well I don't have the split personality, but when I left Wammy's house I had to decide on what I was going to do… I guess I made the wrong choice," Mello gave him a sorrowful smile. "Not working with Near was probably my first bad choice, but I really couldn't stand Near back then. I joined the mafia and that really fucked my life up. Then when I blew the place up I was in a lot of pain. That actually was a pretty stupid thing to do. When I was under the rubble and everything around me was burning… I really thought I was going to die… Then Matt found me. He followed me after I left Wammy's and had been keeping tabs on me. I woke up in his apartment and he was trying to heal my wounds."

"So that's how you knew you loved Matt?"

Mello shook his head, "I was as dense as you… I wouldn't let him anywhere near me. I was hideous and in pain and I felt terrible. I was ready to just kill myself and actually tried a few times, but Matt found me. He was there for me when I needed him the most and when he told he loved me I didn't believe him."

"What would make you figure something like that if he was always there for you? Wouldn't you be able to tell if he loved you or not?"

Mello shrugged, "That was a long time ago… The important thing is that I realized it when I did."

"…So you think I should go back to L?"

Mello smiled as he stood up and walked out of the room. Light shook his head slightly, "This is… interesting…" Light thought for a moment. So it's all up to me now, huh? Light stood up and walked into Matt's room. L and Mello were already there.

Light gave Matt a sheepish look. He wasn't sure if Matt would forgive him or not, but he was at least going to apologize. He held out his hand to Matt, "I'm sorry for being such a jerk."

Matt smiled at him and held out both of his arms, "I think we should be saying we're sorry." Light hugged Matt which made him feel even more awkward. He always imagined that if Mello was ever paired up with someone, he'd at least be threatening or hard core. Matt was just… Matt. He was friendly and emotional. Kind of weird, but was somewhat animated.

"So when do you plan on leaving?" L asked after they were talking for hours. It was getting late.

"Tomorrow hopefully," Mello said while sitting on the edge of Matt's bed.

"Yeah, I'm sure the doctors will be happy to have us gone," Matt smiled brightly.

"Especially someone as crazy as Mello," Light joked sitting across the room cradling his knees.

"Oh wait!" Mello jumped up and started rummaging around in his vest pockets. "The new Kingdom Hearts game came out." Mello pulled out the Birth By Sleep case. "I thought you'd want all the games."

"Thanks Mello," Matt smiled.

"Oh yeah, and I found this" Mello pulled out a Legend of Zelda Alpha 3 game.

"Zelda!" Matt muttered in a Death Metal voice! "Yes!" Mello handed the games to Matt then pulled out a black PSP from his pocket. Matt smiled and kissed Mello, "Have I ever told that I fuckin' love you?"

"You could say it more often," Mello smiled before helping Matt tear into his games.

Light smiled as he stared at them. They both looked so natural together. Could he ever act like that around L? He looked over at the detective who was sitting in a chair. He was casting quick glances between Matt and Mello and Light. Light concealed a smile, It couldn't hurt to try…

I know this took 4ever to post! sorry me and Kami-sama334 switched flash drives, which we do on a weekly bases, and there was a 4 day weekend! I was so mad b/c I was supossed to publish this 2 weeks ago... lolz but then I had a book report so... yeah. HERE IT IS! yay!

so is Light finially coming around? idk... lolz Mello and Light finially had a conversation together I was waiting for this!

um... yeah you guys should read some of Kami-sama334's stories... well she only has 1 up right now, but like me she's working on many different stories at once. I hope I can post the one we're writing together up soon! ;)

TBC... I no it's longer than I thought it was going to be... lolz thanks for reading!