paisleys story

We had arrived at the hospital and sat inside a small room. no one had told us anything about how sheriden was. i prayed to god that she was still alive.

half an hour or more must of passed before the door opened and james walked in. his face pale and eyes red.

"whats happening" kendall asked him before james had even shut the door.

james took a seat before saying a word.

"james is she okay?" kendall tried again, but this time his voice almost gave out.

"she... is er..." james couldnt get the words out, i sat next to him and held his hand.

"take a deep breath" i said to james.

he did.
"she is in a coma" he looked at kendall with tears rolling down his face

kendall just stared at him. i think he was parylzed from shock.

"they wont know if there is any permanant damage to her brain untill... if she wakes up" james voice sounded eerily calm.

i rubbed james' hand to comfort him.

"kendall can i ask you something thats been bothering me" james stood up and let my hand fall down to my side.

kendall just looked at him.

"how did you know exactly what it what it was that sheriden had had taken?"

kendall looked at james as james walked closer toward him.
there was a long silence from kendal before he spoke

"i gave it to her" came kendalls whispered responsed.

"what?" i added

kendall got flustered.
"it wasnt like that, i didnt give it to her... she took it off of me"

"so she was using again and you knew and didnt tell me?" james sounded scary, ive never heard his voice like this before.

"no she wasnt using. i was going to. it was mine, and she found out and she took it off me, she was gonna chuck it. but i guess things got too much for her today"

"if she dies thats two lives you will have on your concience" james spat at him.

"james dont. its not his fault"

"no fuck it. why are you here any way?" james looked at me "your just another of his sluts that he gets to send sheriden over the edge. she told me all about it. you just cant help but try and fuck her over can you kendall. first vancouver, then the baby and now your handing out smack to her"

a nurse came in to see what all the noise was about.

"i think its best you leave" she said to kendall.

"i want to see her" kendall protested

james laughed.
"your not seeing her. i dont even want to see you. im done with you kendall. its all fucked. get out"

i stood up and took kendall by the hand and lead him out side.

we got in a cab that was parked up and headed back to kendalls home.

sitting in kendalls home was more relaxing than sheridens. it was slightly unkept, and not everything was put in its desired location.

we sat for a long while not saying anything.

"kendall sheriden is going to be fine. she is a strong woman. you can fix this" i rubbed his arm.

"fix it? how exactly can this be fixed? he mumbled at me.

"talk, say your side of events, at least then when sheriden does wake up she wont have to worry about people saying she aborted your baby"

"i cant. i wouldnt know where to begin right now" he said

"start from the beginning. write it down if you need to then we can stop the lies that kacey started" i spurred him on, he couldnt just sit here and wallow.

"why dont you hate me paisley? ive pretty much ruined your life too" kendall looked at the floor as he spoke to me.

"everything happens for a reason. remember?" kendall looked me in the eye as he listened to my words of wisdom.
i think he clung on to every word i said.

"cmon talk to that scott guy and we can help sort most of this mess out. least we would be doing something" i smiled at him.

so it began. i helped kendall work through the entire story of everything that happened to him and sheriden. we wrote it down and re worded it over and over again in the hope that no blame could be placed on either of them.

scott the publicist had arranged a breakfast tv show in which kendall would be appearing the following morning to be interviewed to get the real story across.

we trailed through the internet finding pictures to back him up.

"kendall ive just had an idea." i spoke as i looked at a picture of sheriden and james in las vegas, she was on crutches. but they both had smiles on there faces.

"whats that?" he asked with sceptisism in his voice. i think he found it hard to believe james and sheriden never did hook up before she had finished it with kendall. kendall looked at the screen on the lap top. his eyebrows knitted together.

"your picture you have of your baby. it has the date of the scan on the top of it. its the same date as the crash isnt it?"

kendall looked at me then went up stairs to get the picture. he returned with it in his hand.

"kendall with that picture you can do a lot of good"

kendall looked at the picture.
"none of this will make sheriden better though will it?" he asked

"no... no it wont, but it will help james and you, and when sheriden wakes up she will see how hard you have worked to try and help her. abortion isnt the best thing to get labelled in, especially when its been put in the sense that kacey had worded it in."

"okay" was his only response.

i folded the lap top up, having sheriden and james grinning away at us wasnt helping anything.
"cmon, i will make us something to eat. you need to help me find everything"

i pulled kendall to his feet and in to the kitchen.

"dont you want to phone your boyfriend?" kendall asked

"kendall" i said softly "i think your more in need of my help today than ryan is" i gave him a weak smile and walked over to the fridge.

there wasnt much inside it

"omelettes it is then?" i said as i shook my head.

we talked about sheriden as i prepared our food.

"you do still love her dont you?" i asked kendall

"i guess i do yeah" he answered honestly.

"what is it about her?" i questioned him.

"im not sure. the first day i met her she blew me away, when we got together it was all so quick with everything. i fell so hard for her. she just has this spell over me, ya know?"

i thought to ryan. i doubted he would ever say such words about me. he would most proabably just say im a bit of alrite. best he could get at the time.

"im not sure i do know what that feels like" i confessed.

"you know when theres nothing you can do. you just get... i dont know, caught in the moment" he added.

my memory gave me a brief flash back to a few nights ago when kendall seduced me in my hotel room. he had a power over me then. he had a spell on me.
my face reddoned, kendall saw me and must of thought the same thing as i just had. he made an excuse to go to the bathroom.

we ate in the living room, with our plates on our laps. i wondered to myself how sheriden ever did get it together with kendall. they were nothing alike. i definatly could not see sheriden sitting in here with a plate of food on her lap. she was too prim. she had lived the celebrity lifestyle for too long. but james fitted in perfectly with her.

the door knocked. it was late now, i hoped it wasnt more camera people. i thought we had seen the last of them a few hours ago.

kendall must of recognised the shadow as he opened the door right up.
it was carlos pena.
i hadnt met carlos before. he always struck me as the jolly one out of the 4 big time rush guys though.

kendall shut his door.

"i should rip your fucking head off your neck. you fucking idiot" came carlos' greeting to kendall. obviously i was wrong in my always jolly assumption.

"she took it from me, i didnt give it to her" kendall protested "have you been to see her?"

carlos sat down next to me, he didnt even acknowledge my existance.

"yeah ive just come from there. its no change. james is a complete mess, his mum is there with him now. but he wont leave her bedside. sheriden looked so... small".

i thought back to seeing sheridens naked body on the floor of her bathroom. there really wasnt much to her, a size 0 i expected. but she was small and frail looking. i could see carlos' fear in his face thinking the worst is yet to come.

"im doing an interview in the morning. did you want to come with me?" kendall asked

"interview? what for?" carlos questioned

"to sort all this abortion shit out once and for all. least sheriden wont have to worry when she wakes up" my own words came out of kendalls mouth. he believed me when i said all that to him. i prayed it would work out for him.

"i cant. ive come round for the keys actually to her house... do you have them?"

kendall pulled the maserrati car keys that james had left in the entrance hall. it had james key to sheridens house dangling on it.
kendall handed the keys to carlos.

"he asked me to get the dogs and take them to mine" carlos must of felt bad to have to explain his actions to kendall in taking the only peice of sheridens life he had left, away from him.
"good luck tomorrow" carlos said before seeing himself out the door.

i stood up. kendall looked totally lost. he must feel that everyone had abandoned him from one mistake. he didnt know all this was going to send sheriden over the edge and OD on drugs. he was just on a journey to try and help his own grief out.

i wrapped my arms around him. he gladly wrapped his round me.

somehow after a day of having my own hopes and dreams dashed and the possibilty my boyfriend of 3 years is never likely to talk to me again. all i felt i could do was console kendall.
he needed me so much. i didnt have time to even start on my own problems. besides they all seemed ridiculous compared to the events that i had seen today.

kendall and i sat down on the sofa again. i figured i wasnt going back to the hotel and made myself as comfy as i could to try get some sleep.

"you can have my bed if you want? i will stay down here" kendall offered.

"no your fine. i dont really feel i want to be on my own" i smiled at him.

"me neither" he replied.

he lay his head on my knees that were curled up on the seat.

i stroked his hair back to help to relax him. what a day this guy had had. i hoped that james would apologise to him someday. if it wasnt for kendall, sheriden lloyd would of died on that bathroom floor.
i watched kendalls eyes move around the room, he was thinking away to himself.

my eyes became heavy and i eventually fell in to a light sleep. i woke up few times in the night. my legs felt dead from the weight of kendall leaning on them, but he had finally fallen to sleep, i didnt want to disturb him. he needed rest.

he looked so at peace. i wished the hours would go slow for him in the night so the reality of what had happened could be delayed from him for just a little longer.

kendalls movement in the morning woke me up. it was early.

"morning" i said to him.
he looked nervous.

"morning" he replied
kendall was buzzing around getting things sorted, he was beginning to make me nervous.

"kendall stop" i finally said
"calm down. take a breath. get something to eat and... calm down" kendall looked at me with scared eyes.
"come here" i said as i pulled him in for a hug

"what if this makes everything worse?" he said in my ear.

"how can it get worse" was my honest response to him. i think it worked though as he did seem calmer.

"pais will you come with me?" i pulled away from our hug and looked him full in the face. i wasnt expecting this. what he was going to talk about on national tv had nothing to do with me. if anything getting involved in it will put the final nail in any music career dreams i had. let alone spur on the lies that kendall and i are ... a thing.

somehow though my response from my mouth came out very differently
"course i will"

i looked a complete mess. but there was nothing i could do about it now. kendall drove us down to the tv station. he was incredibly fidgety.
i had a churning in my stomach.

a lady called jane came and spoke to kendall, she ran through some of the questions he would be given so he had time to get his answers ready.

it didnt sound all bad. it was just a case of if the public wanted to believe kaceys crock of bull shit or the truth from kendall.

i was given a seat just off camera. i gave kendall a small smile of good luck as he took his seat in the spot light.
he was dressed smart. he looked clean and healthy, not like he had looked yesterday.

the music started and the host introduced the show. kendall was due on in a few moments

the atmosphere was tense. mostly due to thet fact that everyone knew sheridens life hung in the balance somewhere at hospital.

"kendall. thank you so much for coming here today. we appreciate it must be a very difficult time for all involved. do you have any update on sheriden lloyds health?" the first question wasnt so bad but it worried me what kendall might reply as he was now shunned from sheridens and james' life.

"i havent been given any recent news this morning on how sheriden is yet. but i wish her a speedy recovery" kendalls reply came quick and was vague enough to avoid any more questions connecting him to it.

kendall had told them before he would not answer questions regarding what happened yesterday to sheriden. so the host cracked on to his main subject.

"now the media went crazy yesterday over rumours that sheriden had aborted your baby to make way for a new love in her life. how did that come about?" i moved nervously in my seat hoping kendall could keep it together.

"yes... well the truth is always hard to find in situations like this. but the simple answer is what was told was mostly incorrect. yes there was a baby. but no it was not aborted. sheriden miscarried the baby in the car crash that she was involved in with james maslow" well done kendall i thought, he remembered to use "incorrect" instead of "lies", which is the word he originally wrote down yesterday when we planned all of this.

"in the papers it reads that she aborted the baby two weeks before the crash. and then went on a break with james maslow to las vegas, where she was seen on crutches celebrating his birthday".

"yes well again this is incorrect. she was still around ten weeks pregnant then. but i would just like to take the time to say that even if sheriden had carried out an abortion which many people have done i dont think it should have the need to cause up the media attention it has"

"so you believe the pregnancy was sadly ended in the crash?" the host asked.

"yes, sheriden and i had recently gone through some personal problems in our relationship, which i regret was my own fault i wasnt able to be in her life at the time that crash took place, which is why james was with her. james had taken sheriden for a 12 week scan at the plymouth day clinic."

kendall produced his baby picture with the date clearly visable.

"so it must be very hard for you to talk about kendall"

"obviously yes. it was a very hard time for everyone involved. but i felt i needed to come here today to tell everyone the truth of what really happened, as kacey delta had attempted to turn the public view of sheriden lloyd for her own gain".

"so you are aware that the original story came very publicly from kacey delta who is an ex girlfriend of james maslow"

"yes im fully aware that the story had originated from her. she has also had some personal problems regarding her split from james. im sure everyone remembers the slap she gave him at the KVA awards not so long ago"

"is there any resentment in the group regarding you and james now. i mean surely it must hurt to see him and sheriden as a couple"

"actually james and sheriden have always been very close friends. we all are you know, you have to be to live in each others pockets like we do. the time i realised that james was falling in love with sheriden, our relationship was already ended, it was after the miscarriage. obviously sheriden wasnt in a fit state to think about much else that was happening in her life. i sat down with james one night and just told him if he wants her then to go for it. i could see how much he loved her"

"so there was no stealing of girlfriends, and cheating behind backs?"

"no. the only cheating that went on was my own when i made a very public mistake in vancouver. but as far as sheriden, james and i are concerned. we are still all good friends"

"kendall why was all the baby news kept so hush hush to begin with"

"um... mostly because the pregnancy was still very early on, and because of the personal problems sheriden and i had. after the crash everything seemed so raw for sheriden we thought it best to not make it public knowledge to spare her feelings. you have to remember sheriden had recently been through the death of a loved one and of course her spinal injury ended her modelling career. she finds it very emotional to talk about all these things"

"do you think thats the reason she has ended up in hospital now, because it forced her to talk about them?"

"no one will know those reasons untill she is able to tell us herself"

"just finally what are your thoughts on kacey delta at the moment?"

kendall took a deep breath
"my thoughts on kacey are mainly pity. she has got some issues that desperatly need addressing, thats all i have to say on that matter"

"thank you kendall. we all send sheriden our love and prayers"

"thank you"

kendall was excused from his hot seat and made his way over to me. i hugged him.
"lets get out of here" he said

the taxi dropped me off at the hotel.