sheridens story.
as we left the hospital i was filled with so many different emotions. relief, fear, guilt, hate and love, to name a few.
"i went to yours this morning and got a load of your clothes and other stuff" james informed me
"thanks" i replied.
"are you sure you dont want to go back, its tidy and... well you know" he squeezed my leg.
"i cant james, not just yet, i will when im ready to sell it" james turned to look at me.
"you sure you want to sell up?" he asked.
"yeah im sure. new house new start" i smiled at him
"okay baby" he smiled back at me.
the drive back to james' seemed longer than it should have been but eventually we arrived. i stepped in to the modern looking bungalow.
i smiled at james. he had filled the place with fresh flowers, he knows how i love the smell.
"wheres the dogs?" i asked him
usually i had been mobbed by them by now.
"they are staying with uncle carlos for a bit, just untill you are settled" he grinned at me.
"james you didnt have to do that, they are your babies" i walked in to the bedroom as i told james off for his abandonment of his dogs.
james followed me in and layed on the bed, he crossed his arms over the back of his head.
"just thought it be easier" he yawned at me.
"what are you doing today? do you have to be anywhere?" i asked him
"well i was meant to be at the studio today but im one band member short of a group, and two business partners down in a record label" james looked at me lovingly to get the point of his sarcasm across so not to offend me.
"why two short for record label? im still in. has kendall quit?" we hadnt talked about the record label for days, since the night we all went out for dinner to meet up.
"sheriden, your not really in though are you? your gonna be getting your head sorted for a while before i even let you so much as lift a pen up" james smiled at me.
"im fine james, dont piss me off by taking things aways from me" i didnt return his smile.
"im not taking anything away, i just want you to take it easy. you have been through so much. besides there is nothing to do at the studio without a band huh." he kept his smile.
i crawled on to the bed and in to his arms, he unfolded them from behind his head and held me tightly.
"i can fix it" i promised him.
"it cant be fixed sheriden. it needs to start from scratch" he kissed my head.
"you never said about kendall" i asked "has he just abandoned it then?" i looked up at james.
"i havent heard from him sheriden, to be honest its not exactly great between us right now" he confessed.
"well you can sort it out james. i am not being the reason that everything falls to bits with you, i know you blame him for the drugs..." he cut me off.
"sheri i dont blame him... i mean i did at first, but paisley kind of made me see sense"
"paisley? why was paisley talking to you about kendall?" i asked as i sat up and faced him.
"paisley was there with me, and kendall when we found you. kendall gave you first aid, paisley rang for help... i didnt do anything, i just sat there, i couldnt move. they came to the hospital to see you but i said to kendall he wasnt welcome in our lives anymore. next thing i know kendall is on tv prooving kacey a liar with a picture of the baby, i went round to see him to have a go at him, to say its him that can tell you what he had made you do... but paisley said all the things that kendall had done... do you know he is suing kacey for libel? he sorted all that out in 24 hours and all i could do was sit there and watch you ... on the floor. jesus why did you do that?" james pulled his knees up to his chest.
he reminded me of myself.
"james im so sorry. i dont know why i did it. i felt cornered. i wanted to escape" i looked at james.
"... sheriden did you want to kill yourself?" obviously james had wanted to ask this question for a number of days.
"no, i didnt mean to OD. I promise you. i just took it to take the pain away. thats the thing about shit like that, no one can tell when its too much... james are you going to leave me?"
"no... no way! course im not, jesus that hadnt even crossed my mind sheriden. ive never been so scared in my life. i felt for sure that was it, you know. i thought you were dead... i wanted to be dead"
"dont ever say shit like that james. it was a stupid stupid mistake, it was my own fault, nothing to do with kendall or kacey. if i had of taken the time to talk about stuff when it happened then i wouldnt get so emotional" i wiped a few stray tears from my face.
"i never want to be with out you sheriden" james put his legs down and placed his hands over mine.
"you wont be. coz im not gonna let you go ever, we are gonna grow old, and have a million babies and i will still be so inlove with you when your hair falls out and your face is as wrinky as mine" i laughed.
"your face isnt that wrinkly" he smiled
i gave him a pretend slap.
james looked at me with his american smile beaming " a million kids huh?" he chuckled.
"maybe not a million" i raised an eyebrow to him.
"we gonna make it though arn't we sheriden. me and you... its for keeps yeah?" a serious smile came over james' adonis face.
"its for keeps baby". i leant over and gave him a kiss. "you wanna just chill out here for a bit, you look like you havn't slept for ages" i layed back down on the bed in to james' chest.
"that sounds great" he smiled again and pulled me in for a hug. i lay there with my eyes closed just thinking for a few minutes.
"james, was it you that gave kendall the black eye?" i asked.
"no, i dont know how that happened. i will call him later. he is the last little crease in all this i need to fold out. he said some stuff the other day that im hoping he didnt mean" james lay with his eyes shut still, his voice sleepy and calm.
"what did he say?"
"ah it doesnt matter i will sort it baby" james yawned.
i opened an eye to see if his were still closed. they were. i layed next to james looking at his beautiful face until i could tell he had fallen to sleep, his breathing got heavier after a few minutes. i slowly slipped myself out from his arms and got up from the bed.
i felt tired but i knew i would just be laying there thinking of all the bad things that had happened. i had a walk around james' bungalow.
james was so romantic putting all the flowers around the place. the bungalow was large, the living area was smaller than my own,but the kitchen was bigger than mine had been. it has an oversized breakfast bar with 6 stalls stood beside it, the kitchen lead out to a large sun room which opened up to a garden filled with trees and a largeish pond at the side. james said there was fish in the pond but i had never seen any, i think they must of all died from shock when the dogs started jumping in.
i hunted my lap top out from some of the belongings that james had brought round from my house for me, i sat it up on the breakfast bar and sat down.
i hadnt seen any papers or news on the tv since that fateful day in my bathroom, i guessed now was as good a time as ever.
what i read wasnt so bad. most was the truth actually. kendall had done a huge greatness by going on tv. i signed in to twitter, all the comments i had recieved where full of support and love. i didnt scroll down too far just incase i found some hateful ones.
i decided to tweet
SheridenLloyd Home safe with jamesmaslow . thank you everyone for you love and support. i have made huge mistakes but the ppl in my life amaze mexxx
i stared at the screen for a while reading some of the new tweets that came in for me. carlos being the twitter hound that he was made a joke at my expense.
thecarlospena the lengths SheridenLloyd will go to for a long nap ;-)
bloody carlos, he is a nightmare! i couldnt wait to see him though, and logie and kendall. i hoped kendall was okay. he seemed so emotional that day at the hospital. he told me he loved me. why would he say in front of james. i hope he wasnt doing anything silly.
i checked my work emails, there was plenty that i could be getting on with at the modelling agency.
i had a charity gala to finish organising too. i wasnt sure if i would be attending it though, it was only a week away. the sheriden lloyd foundation - a charity that i set up three years ago to help spinal injuries and defects. i held it every year on the same date as i had my accident. doing this stopped me from moping about and being miserable. last year james and i had a rather risque picture taken and put up for auction. the picture was beautiful, james ended up getting the winning bid and giving me the picture as a birthday gift.
he never did tell me what his maximum bid was, but the picture sold for 250.000 dollars.
i was hoping kandy teaze would do a small set at the gala with some of the slower songs they had done but no such luck now. at least i still had big time rush playing. i would have to find something to fill the slot for kandy teaze.
the door knocked.
"who is it?" i asked
"its your logie bear" a chuckle came from the other side.
i opened up and embraced logan henderson like i hadnt seen him in years.
"how are you sheriden, doing okay?" he took my face in his hands to check me over with his eyes "you look so much brighter today" he added.
"i feel a load better" i concluded.
"where is james?" logan asked scanning the room.
"he is sleeping. he looked exhausted earlier. i think he can relax more now im here with him" i ushered logan in to the kitchen and we both sat at the breakfast bar.
"yeah he didnt like to leave you in the hospital"
"how are you then? all good?" i asked, i hadnt had a good chat with logan in a long while.
"yeah all fine the gigs we did were amazing" he beamed a beautiful smile at me.
"you still single logie?" i nudged him with a small smile
"yes still single sheri?" he nodded his head in disaproval knowing i always moaned at him to find a nice girl.
"i actually came round to see if you had heard from kendall?" he added on the end before i could get going on my get a girlfriend speach.
"no i havent since yesterday, james is going to call him later. he said kendall was saying stupid things".
"well kendall was with the petrelli girl, he was taking her back to reno yesterday. but he still isnt back yet, he isnt answering his phone to me. im just worrying he is gonna get caught up in another whirlwind romance, typical kendall style and end up flat on his face. he asked me to look after his animals"
"kendall was taking paisley to reno?" i asked
"yeah she was going home, i spoke to him briefly yesterday at the hospital, but he was so tightly wound, he wasnt making much sense"
"i will get james to try paisleys' cell later, maybe he went off somewhere after he took her back?" i scratched my head wondering where he might be "logan do you know how kendall got the black eye?"
"yeah it was paisleys boyfriend. took a swing at him in the hotel apparently then dumped her, kendall is pressing charges on him"
"oh i see, the boyfriend. so you think him and paisley are together now?" i probed him further.
"i honestly dont know, they have been together since they found you pretty much, carlos said she was at his the other night, she went to the tv station with him, and he has driven her all the way to reno..."
my mind whirred, i hope paisley knew that kendall was damaged at the moment. i didnt want to see him get hurt again.
"did you want a drink or anything?" i offered logan.
"shouldnt it be me looking after you while his lordship is sleeping?" he grinned.
"i wont argue with that, my head feels a bit... odd still , but im trying to ignore it" i gave logan a forced smile, he got up from his seat and got me a glass of water.
"so whats this i hear you dont want to go home?" logan asked with seriousness.
"i just dont want to see it. me and james are... kind of moving in together now" my face gave way to a grin.
logan chuckled "i dunno! sheriden lloyd all grown up huh? are you moving in here or going to buy someplace together?"
"i know who would of thought my bachelorette days would soon be numbered. im happy to stay here. james' house is beautiful"
logan eyed the room we sat in and smiled at me.
"you wanna watch your corny dvd you love?" logan raised an eyebrow at me.
"labrynth?" i smiled. i always watched labrynth when i was feeling a bit down, usually with carlos though. im surprised the dvd still worked to be honest.
"cmon then" logan picked up my water and followed me to james' lounge. i found the dvd and we sat on the large L shaped sofa and watched.
logan laughed through most of it, taking the piss out of a very youthful looking david bowie. my body started to shiver with cold, which i think scared logan slightly. he offered to cover me with a blanket but i insisted it was probably time i fought the demons and tried to sleep.
logan left james' house only when he knew i had everything i needed.
he is such a great guy. i couldnt understand why he only ever held relationships for such short periods of time.
i crawled in to bed, but this time under the covers, my body had the chills like ive never known, i pressed myself up to james' body as much as i could without disturbing him.
i finally fell to sleep.
i woke up and the time on the clock read 9:12am. how the fuck had that happened, i must of gone to bed at 4 in the afternoon yesterday.
james had gone. im surprised he hadnt worried if i had slipped back in to a coma being asleep for so long.
i showered and dressed and went out in to the kitchen. james had left a post it note stuck on his fridge.
sheri,
made you a smoothy.
drink it please!
xoxoxox
i opened up the fridge and found the newly made smoothy, looked like it had strawberrys in it, i couldnt tell what else.
just as i wondered where james might be, i got my first clue given to me by a distant bark of a dog, then a minute later james walked in with fox and falco at his feet.
i was so glad to see them. the place wasnt the same with out them here. they made it a home.
"morning baby, your looking so much better today, i only got up an hour ago, i went to see carlos and quickly went to yours, i picked your mail up"
james gave me a kiss on the lips when he finished his sentance.
"morning. what you got there then?" i took the mail from james' hands and worked my way through it. some intersting some not so. and one that was from my lawyer. it stated that kendalls lawyer had been in touch with him about his case against kacey requesting some assistance.
"the nerve of that girl" i said out loud.
"who?" james asked
"kacey, the dumbass bitch! says here that kendall has started proceedings to sue her for libel. but she is fighting it, saying that no comments were made directly about mr schmidt, so he doesnt have a case.
she wants it to go to court to clear her name, so they are asking if i would be willing to start proceedings against her too"
"she is an idiot, everything that girl does is so she gets some money out of it" james looked over my shoulder at the letter i had in my hand
"i will take her to the fucking cleaners" my mind was set.
"woah sheriden, no. just let it go okay, kendall can sort this out, he started it, he can finish it. this could go on for months. kacey's dad is a lawyer. you dont want to get mixed up in all that. they will try everytrick in the book to win that case. you dont want your whole lifes history dragged out do you?"
i turned to look at james. he looked so delicious when he was mad.
"i dont care, im doing it. kendall saved my life you said? least i can do is save him from that bitch" i turned my head so i couldnt see his face anymore.
james walked around to face me, he rolled his eyes to say whatever.
"im gonna phone kendall" james retorted.
james got his iphone from his pocket and hit the quickdial for kendall.
"hi kendall its james, can you call me back when you get this. thanks buddy." james left his voicemail message.
"i wonder where he is?" i asked james." thats two and half days ago he left for reno" i thought for a minute "here try paisley?" i handed james my own cell with paisleys number ready to dial.
"says its turned off" james said as he took the phone from his ear.
he tried another number from my phone.
"hey amberleigh, its james maslow. ive been meaning to talk to you, just things have been a bit crazy last few days."
"yeah i know. thats fine."
"i will meet up with you soon to discuss all that, im sure we can sort something out... hey i was just wondering if you have heard from paisley?"
"yeah to reno?"
"oh i see. do you have a number for her anywhere else?"
"okay not a problem. if she does call or anything then can you let me know?"
"brilliant, thanks amberleigh. take care."
james handed my phone back to me.
"well amberleigh is still at the hotel. paisleys phone got smashed, but she left amberleigh a note saying she will be in touch with her soon. she is going to her moms"
it didnt make sense. why would kendall disapear in reno?
i called kendalls cell from my own phone maybe he will pick up for me.
it rang but it didnt answer.
"where is he?" i sighed as i looked at james.
james had an odd look about him.
"james what did he say to you the other day?, you said you hoped he didnt mean it. he isnt going to hurt himself is he?" i thought back to the drugs i had taken from kendall.
"no, no nothing like that" james sighed "he said he was gonna stay away, that going to the hospital would be the last time you saw him, he said it was about time" james rubbed his head.
i pulled my laptop towards me from where i had left it yesterday.
"what are you doing?" james asked.
"ive got paisleys details on here, it will have her agents number, i expect she will have a contact number for us".
i phoned madeleine caddick, she had the mobile number that was now not working and the home address that paisley no longer lived at thanks to kendall.
i slammed the laptop shut.
"you know what, im done. if he thinks he can play silly buggers and just fuck off when things get bad then sod him, thats exactly what he can do"
james took the letter from the lawyers from the breakfast bar and stuffed it back in the envelope. he smiled at me for two reasons, one that it seemed i no longer wanted to get involved in helping kendall out in court, and two i had my fight back.