A/N:
I'm glad you guys are still with me! This chapter shows how the girls progress with their relationship, i want to show how hard it is for them!
Thank you so much for the alerts, favs and reviews! They make my day everytime! I love you all!
Anyway, here's the next chapter!
Enjooooooy! And Read & Review!
Now what ?
Brittany just looked at Santana. Without even understanding the consequences, she had admitted to the Latina what she felt, she acknowledged this inexplicable attraction she felt towards her. And now what, indeed.
The blonde knew for certain that their relationship was impossible. Even though she wanted to so badly, she could never really have Santana. She'd have to end things with Esteban, that alone would hurt she still liked the boy. Oddly. But even if she did break up with him…how could she possible be with Santana? She imagined the scenario for a second, and held back a regretful laugh. Yeah, I don't want to be with you anymore because I'm head over heels for you little sister, who by the way, is hot as hell. Yeah, not happening.
"Now nothing, Santana." Brittany whispered in a sad sigh. She was well aware what she did was completely unfair, and now she'd have to explain to the younger girl why they couldn't do anything, anymore. Fuck, I need to control myself. I'm not drinking again, not with her around. Never.
Santana's eyes were clearly letting show all her emotions. Her dark brown eyes were now showing more sadness than anger, and it broke Brittany's heart. She's too adorable for her own good, even when she's mad. Trying to push the feelings away, the blonde remained still, holding the brunette's questioning gaze.
Understanding that Brittany would not further explain herself, Santana's eyes narrowed dangerously. She had felt sad at first but was now plain angry, the small spark of hope that had arose when Brittany admitted what she felt quickly disappearing.
The brunette took another step forward, as if challenging the blonde. You won't get away so easily.
The room was pretty dark; the only light on was the soft one from Santana's nightstand. The atmosphere could have been romantic, but right now it only felt heavy and tense.
"Nothing?" Santana repeated, urging the blonde to explain, so say something, anything. She was slowly losing her composure, feeling completely stupid for giving in to the blonde, for feeling even the slightest bit attracted to her…for starting to like her.
Brittany could see Santana was fuming inside, and fighting hard to contain her voice and her words. As much as she wanted to give everything she wanted to the Latina, she knew she couldn't for both of their sakes.
"Yes, nothing." Brittany's soft voice came in a whisper, concluding their conversation.
But of course, Santana wouldn't take any of it. Hell no. Brittany's words felt like a stab in the heart, those emotional ups and downs were killing her.
"But you just said.." The brunette started saying, trying to make her voice sound steady, when she knew it was seconds from breaking. She was rapidly interrupted though.
"I know…and it's true. I like you, I do." Brittany tried to explain, in turn coming to stand closer to the latina, brushing her hand on the young girl's bare arm, sending shivers down both their spines at the contact. Feeling the unexpected goosebumps, the dancer withdrew her hand.
At this point Santana was completely confused.
"So…you're saying you like me. And you know I feel the same. But…nothing…because?" The brunette said almost making fun of Brittany, but still wanting to understand.
Brittany shifted nervously, getting annoyed as Santana really wasn't making things easier.
"I told you. And you're a big girl, you can figure it out!" Not wanting to be there anymore, endlessly arguing over the same thing, Brittany turned away from Santana, heading back to the door.
"No. You're staying." Santana stated, grabbing the blonde roughly by the arm, and pulling her back in the center of the room.
Brittany looked at Santana with wide eyes, not expecting such an attitude, once again. The blonde shifted to free her arm from the brunette's grasp.
"What for Santana? So we can talk more about the fact that I'm dating your brother?" Brittany spat angrily, now she was annoyed.
"Yes! I mean..no! Not about that! About us! " Santana fired back, trying to keep her voice as down as possible.
" There is no us! Damn it!" Brittany hissed, stressing each word, and punctuating them with her hands.
"There is! You just said so yourself!" The Latina felt as if she was the grown up here, how could Brittany be like this? She couldn't be expecting her to just forget about everything.
"I said.." Brittany took time to sigh heavily before continuing " I said I liked you. But it doesn't mean we can suddenly be girlfriends and be happy ever after." There I can't be anymore clear.
"So what? We forget everything that happened?" Santana spat angrily once again, this time her voice louder.
"Grow up, Santana! We had fun, now that's it." Brittany replied just as angrily, now she felt like talking to a fucking wall. Why can't she understand?
"And who decided you're the one calling the shots?"
"I'm the one deciding because you just can't think reasonably.'' Both girls were getting angrier and angrier by the second, the frustration was unbearable.
"What's reasonable then? To stay like that? You with Esteban? That's reasonable?" Santana just couldn't stand the thought of Brittany just shutting off everything she felt, and stay with Esteban. Not while Santana was there, leaving under the same roof. And both girls feeling that way.
"Yes, that's reasonable. What else?" Brittany's voice came out in a whisper, she was starting to realize what this conversation meant. If she kept going like this, she'd lose any chance of ever being with Santana. And oh boy, how she couldn't stand that thought alone.
"Leave him!" Santana's voice once again came louder than expected, startling both girls, who looked around as if expecting something to happen.
Brittany came to stand closer to Santana, her eyebrows knitted together. Standing that close, she could see the tears starting to fill the brunette's eyes. The blonde held back a gasp, wanting to wrap the younger girl in a tight embrace and telling her everything would be alright. But again, she needed to understand.
"Alright. Let's say I leave him. What do you think we'll do after that? Huh?" Brittany's face was now inching away from the Latina's, she was set on making the tanned girl realize how messed up the situation was, therefore she went on.
"Do you think I'll stay here? At your house, and live with you until you finish high school? Do you think Esteban will be okay with that? That he'll just be thrilled that we're together, cause he loves us both so much?" Brittany's gaze was intensely set on the brunette's, watching her, not missing her reactions. How Santana's brows furrowed, tears threatening to fall, realization falling over her. Brittany was not finished though, now it felt as if she couldn't control her words anymore, pouring out everything she had thought about, every worry she had had.
"What about your parents? We'll just tell them that it's okay, I'll just move my things from one room to the other. Oh and of course, you'll just tell them that since you saw me by the pool, you like girls." Brittany knew that she really was pushing things, she was pushing Santana so that she finally got the picture that they just couldn't be together.
As if hit by a truck, Santana took a step back, her calves hitting her bed, and barely catching herself from falling over. Whoa. That hurt. But as much as it sucked for her to admit it, the brunette knew Brittany was right. There was just no way out for them. She hadn't even thought about the fact that she'd have to tell her parents about her possible…gayness. Shit.
Brittany was panting now, her rant had exhausted her, she felt like having run a marathon. The blonde saw how Santana's features changed, how she finally understood what she had been trying to say, without hurting her.
Brittany cleared her throat to speak again, this time her voice coming out a lot more gentle and soft.
"We like each other, and what we did was…great…But it can't happen anymore, or we'll get hurt and believe me this conversation will seem like a piece of cake."
Santana fell back on her bed, coming to sit on the edge of it, sighing heavily.
"I really like you though." The young girl said sincerely her eyes once again meeting soft blue ones.
Brittany smiled sadly, her heart breaking at the sight before her. Fucking timing, I should have met her in a year or two. The blonde took a few awkward steps towards the bed, to finally sit next to Santana, her hand coming to rest on the Latina's thigh.
"I really like you too."
Santana could hear the words because Brittany was that close to her, because they came out in a hushed whisper, she wasn't even sure the words were meant to be heard.
Looking at the pale hand on her bare thigh, Santana's breath caught in her throat, this was going to be hard.
Seeing how the brunette had tensed, Brittany quickly took away her hand and cleared her throat while standing up.
"I should leave. I don't want him to wake up to an empty bed." The blonde cringed at her own words. Real smart.
Santana felt a pinch in the heart too, she in turn stood up and followed Brittany to the door. Trying not to look at her perfect ass, biting her lip in the process.
Brittany finally turned around and looked deep in the Latina's eyes, seeing only regret, sadness…and longing there.
"We can…be friends." Santana tried sheepishly with a small smile.
I want so much more than that, but I'll settle.
Brittany seemed to be reading her thoughts, as she grinned, nodding her head.
"We can try." She replied softly before turning her back to the brunette and disappearing in the dark corridor.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
Santana spent the night thinking about Brittany, mentally kicking herself for even allowing herself to do anything with the blonde. This was bound to happen, I should have known.
Sighing heavily she finally settled on thinking that Brittany was right, they had certainly avoided worse things by ending it now.
After shifting in her bed for hours, she fell in a dreamless sleep.
Brittany wanted to throw up. This had been so fucking hard. It was the first time in her life that she actually denied her feelings, she usually would go straight for it, fight for it even. But the whole situation was just unbelievably fucked up. This time she couldn't, she wouldn't. If she let herself go she'd end up hurting everybody, Esteban…Santana…Damn the whole Lopez family. And for what? Just a few months of fun…happiness, maybe? No, she wouldn't.
But damn, how she wanted.
Still pushing her feelings away, and trying hard not to wake Esteban with her shuffling, she eventually fell asleep.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX
A whole week passed with the girls carefully avoiding contact. The only thing they shared were quick awkward glances. Neither of them knew how the other stared at her sometimes.
Brittany's eyes would linger a little too long on Santana's body as the brunette would reach for her cereals on the highest shelf, showing just a bit of soft skin. Biting her lip, the blonde would hastily avert her gaze, sighing.
Santana was less discreet about it though. She would always look at Brittany, when the girls got out of the shower, her wet hair in a mess. Or when she'd just woke up, and had this cute little face clearly still asleep, or when she'd get angry at Esteban for whatever reason and looked as if she could just throw fire. Santana was just completely breathless every time she saw Brittany, transfixed. Hiding her feelings was hard, hiding her arousal was harder. She'd cross her legs when too many thoughts of the Blonde invaded her mind, and she'd touch herself at night…thinking of all the things she'd want to do to the blonde, all the things she'd want the blonde to do to her. Fuck.
Santana's week had passed without any major event, wake up, avoid Brittany, go to school, go to cheerios practice, come back home, avoid Brittany, sleep. And do it again.
On Friday though, she arrived home to a few surprises.
Her parents were back from another unknown event that she had stopped caring about, so there were to cars in front of the house.
She put her key in, and pushed the door open. As she entered the house, she was instantly greeted by Esteban.
"Aah! Aqui estas! " He wrapped her into an embrace and kissed the top of her head.
"Yep…what's up?" Santana asked, intrigued by her brother's attitude.
Esteban took her to the kitchen where she saw her parents with Brittany and another brown haired stranger girl, all three drinking a glass of wine, enjoying their time together.
"Ah Santana!" Her father exclaimed, looking quite happy.
Santana chuckled at the scene, everybody was just so happy for no apparent reason. The brunette put her school bag on the floor next to the door and went to kiss her parents.
"How was school?" Her mother Maria asked.
"Same old!" Replied Santana.
Santana kissed her father and mother and then said a soft hi to Brittany who replied just as soflty. Finally settling her eyes on the other brown haired girl, Santana knitted her eyebrows together, smiled and extanded her hand for a shake.
"Hi, I'm Santana." The young girl politely presented herself.
Brittany just watched, quirking an eyebrow. She sure hadn't been that eloquent the first day they met.
Nonetheless, Brittany chuckled as she watched Santana being overly polite with the brown haired girl sitting next to her, her best friend.
Said best friend was also enjoying the scene a lot, as she smiled widely and shook Santana's hand firmly, looking directly into her eyes, making her slightly uncomfortable.
"Hi, I'm Rachel" Santana suddenly felt nervous, it felt like everybody was watching her, and Brittany chuckle had made her blush, what did she chuckle?
Esteban quickly stepped in as he saw his little sister struggling to get a grip.
"Rachel is Brittany's best friend, she just came all the way from New York. We went to get her at the airport!" Esteban introduced the new girl properly, apparently very excited that this girl was here.
Santana just nodded, and tried a glance at Brittany who was staring back at her intently with a smile.
"Yes, and that brings us to what's important." This time it was Santana's mother turn to speak.
Santana's head turned towards her mother, as she finally took a seat and poured herself a glass of water.
"Your father and I are heading back to Boston for the week end, we just came back to grab some stuff and say hi to both of you. It just happened that we just learned today is Brittany's birthday, so we opened a bottle of wine to celebrate." Maria explained super excitedly, her glass of wine thrown up in the air.
"Yeah, Brittany's turning 21 today!" Esteban continued, explaining why all of them were drinking wine at 6 in the afternoon. We're not in France, so it must be some kind of symbol.
Santana's face was flushed now, she didn't know it was her birthday, she'd have gotten her something…probably. And besides, her being 21 made her somehow even older than her, Santana didn't like to think about that, even though it was kind of sexy. She blushed at the thought. Clearing her throat to hide it, she quickly put the pieces together. Brittany, her birthday, her best friend coming over to celebrate… it made sense.
"Happy Birthday" Santana said, as steadily as she could. Looking at Brittany, who nodded and replied a soft "Thanks".
Esteban and the parents were talking, while Brittany and Santana were engaged in a silent staring contest…the only one who seemed to notice was Rachel. The blonde's best friend was watching them interact, smiling to herself. Oh boy, she thought as she took a big gulp of her glass of wine.
"So…we're having a big party tomorrow night. To celebrate." Esteban announced, looking at Santana, as if solemnly informing her. Santana didn't know if he was silently asking for her to vacate the house, or if it was just an information.
Esteban was about to say something, when Brittany cut him.
"You're invited, of course." She said simply, not even looking at the young girl, nor at Esteban who looked a little surprised.
The parents just shrugged their shoulders, and Maria only said " We trust you to watch your sister Esteban, you know what I mean." Esteban knew perfectly, no drinking, no smoking, no sex...nothing. He'd have to watch his little sister, that's exactly why he had planned on asking her to go sleep at Quinn's or something. He sighed, smiled, and nodded.
Santana seemed to be wondering whether or not she wanted to go. Well of course she wanted, but she didn't want to be there by herself, the only 'young' one. And she'd have to watch Brittany be with Esteban…
"Are you sure, I don't know if…" Santana started to explain her thoughts, but again was interrupted.
"You can bring whoever you want" Brittany said, looking in the Brunette's eyes, not voicing a name though.
"Alright, yeah…I'll be there" Santana finally announced with a smile, making Brittany smile in return.
After that, Santana's parents left pretty quickly. Just the time for them to gather a few of their things, and kiss their children and they were off, once again leaving Santana with Esteban, Brittany and…well now Rachel.
Santana excused herself and went to her room, to shower and change. Esteban did the same, leaving Brittany and Rachel alone in the kitchen, to finish the bottle of wine.
Rachel was smiling to herself, sipping the wine when she finally dare to say.
"Well, she's hot." The words made Brittany's gaze quickly turn to find Rachel staring back at her playfully.
Brittany chuckled at her friend's behavior, sensing she was playing, she just nodded her approuval.
"You never told me Esteban had a hot little sister" Rachel continued, having fun already.
"Would you have come before if I told you?" Brittany played along, smiling.
"For her? Definitely." Rachel replied, now letting out a laugh.
Brittany and Rachel had known each other for years now, they had finished high school together, and moved to New York. Rachel was a power lesbian, and knew of course that her blonde best friend had an open sexuality. They played a lot with it, teasing each other.
"Seriously though….does she have a boyfriend…girlfriend?" Rachel dared again, taking another sip of wine and looking intently at her friend, seeing how the blonde girl clenched her jaw and looked at her again.
"Rachel…" Brittany said in a warning tone. That made Rachel laugh.
"What?"
"She's seventeen." Brittany replied in a motherly tone.
"Never stopped me. Never stopped us." Rachel replied smugly.
Brittany shook her head at her best friend, she should have known this was going to happen. Santana was hot as hell, there was no way Rachel wouldn't notice and try to go after her.
"Seriously Rach..don't." Brittany tried.
"Why? Does she have an STD? Why can't I try?" Rachel asked, this time intrigued, wanting to get her best friend to talk. She had sure seen the way Brittany had looked at Santana.
"Because…she's…" Brittany once again tried to find an explaination, to stop Rachel from doing anything.
"Oh come on Britt…whe's seventeen. Not twelve. I hardly think she's a virgin by the looks of her.." Rachel continued talking…as usual. But Brittany stopped her.
"She is." The blonde stated simply.
"Oh? Well…you know me, I'd be gentle." Rachel said a pushed Brittany by the shoulder, playing, but suddenly a thought came over her.
"Wait a minute! How do you know?" Rachel asked, mouth agape. We're getting somewhere.
"What?" Brittany asked back, looking innocent.
"How do you know she's never done the deed?" Rachel said in an obvious tone, looking at her friend, grinning slightly.
"I…we talked about it. Once." Brittany only said, eyes fixed on her drink.
"Fuck me. What did you do?" Rachel let out a laugh, feeling kind of proud of her best friend. She knew her, better than her own self, there was no way Brittany would act so shy if she didn't feel guilty about something. Besides, at her question, Brittany's face flushed and the tip of her ears became a dark shade of pink.
Brittany brought the glass to her lips, and downed her drink in a second. As she gulped, she looked at Rachel, replying sofly.
"Nothing." Her mouth said a word, and her eyes said something completely different as the blonde looked at her friend in a desperate manner.
"Hahaha oh my god! You're so greedy, you already have the hot brother! Now the little sexy sister too?" Rachel continued teasing her friend, who still hadn't said a thing, silently admitting something was up.
"Come on. I want details, what did you do?" Rachel urged again, not letting it go.
"It's a long story" Brittany said
"We have wine" Rachel replied smiling widely.
"But no time." Brittany reminded.
"Then make it short." Rachel pressed on.
"Ikindascissoredherafewdaysag o" Brittany never spoke this fast or low in her whole life, and before Rachel could even comprehend a word,the blonde poured herself another glass of wine, instantly downing it and knitting her eyebrows together at the heavy taste.
"Could you repeat that please?" Rachel said, while taking Brittany's glass away from her and putting it back on the counter.
"I scissored her. " Brittany said finally, not looking at Rachel, who was just watching her best friend, her mouth fell, and quickly turned into a huge smile. Eventually, Rachel cracked up laughing.
"It's not funny. I'm so fucked up" Brittany said wining, as she slammed her head on the counter.
"Relax girl! I can see why you coulnd't stop yourself…I mean have you seen that ass? Well you have obviously…but damn what I would do to just.." And there is was again, Rachel's rambling.
"RACHEL!" Brittany exclaimed, her head rising to look at her best friend, who was biting her lip to keep from laughing again.
"Alright, alright…how was it though?"
This time, Brittany punched her in the arm.
"Aouch! " Both girls started laughing, and Brittany was suddenly relieved that her best friend was there now, to help her sort things out, and make it look less dramatic.
"You know you can't have both right?" Rachel asked more seriously this time. Making Brittany sigh.
"Of course." Brittany said, smiling sadly.
"I talked to her, we'll just be friends" Brittany explained.
"Alright…" Rachel nodded
"But if you want my advice, stop looking at her like you do. Friends don't look at each other that way." Rachel said smiling, putting a hand on her best friend's back.
Brittany chuckled at that.
"I really try you know." Brittany said, and Rachel nodded.
"I don't blame you though…she is hot!"
"God…stop it!"
Once again, they both started laughing loudly, pouring themselves another glass of wine, finishing the bottle.
A/N: Here it is!
I got carried away with that chapter! I'm trying to put more feelings in it, so you all understand what's going on in their heads!
How do you like Rachel in this? I just like to imagine her less up tight than in the show, more fun and easy going!
Next chapter : The partyyyy! Other friends...alcohol...other...hum... things and well yeah you'll see!
Tell me what you think!
Till next time!
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