SHERIDENS STORY

kendall held the doors open for us as i made my way out of the studio, once out in to the fresh air i felt a bit sick. all that bloody tequila last night, my head was killing me, but with a ton of make up and a make shift smile on my face i think i had convinced everyone that i wasnt suffering as much as i really was.

kendall sat in his car waiting for me to say bye to james.

"take it easy okay sheri" he said

"i will babe dont worry. you still here til six?" i asked, hoping he would finish early.

he chuckled his deep infectious laugh "yes still here for 6 im afraid... its not your bed time yet" he laughed

i smiled at him, the make up and the grin hadn't fooled james at all, he knew i was feeling as rough as i should from all that drink last night.

"okay... well i will be back before that then. i will come back here" i said

again james laughed "no... get kendall to drop you off at home, he wont mind, good nights rest will have you better in no time"

he gave me a hug, albeit a gentle one so not to cause me any more pain, i hated using these bloody crutches. they had been in the cupboard for 4 months with out me needing them. the last time i had needed them was just for some really bad back ache from a period.

"i love you james" i said as he let go from his hug

"love you too sheri" he replied as he gave me a kiss on the lips then walked up to kendalls car and held the door open and helped me in. i caught some of his gorgeous scent as he moved. it made my heart ache.

"see you soon" he called as we drove off. i gave him a little wave and a wink.

"so... is this my fault?" kendall asked eyeing up the crutches.

i smiled. "no course its not... dont be daft"

"why did you get so drunk shoo? ive never seen you like that, you were crawling on the floor" he laughed.

i raised an eyebrow at him " coz of those stupid games, i drank the same as everyone else but im only little" i laughed. "how are you and paisley then? james said she was mega pissed off at us. i was surprised to see you at the studio today"

kendall raised his own eyebrow at me "we are... great actually, i went to the hotel at stupid oclock this morning and declared my love to her"

"oh my god...really?" i asked astonished.

"yep... its pretty amazing actually... she is amazing" he looked out to the road with a smile smacked across his face. it was a nice. i hadn't seen kendall look so much like kendall in a long time.

"well thats great kendall... honestly. its nice to see it all working out for us all huh" i said truthfully.

"yeah it is... you know you told me james wanted to marry you last night too?" he added.

"shit, yeah i did... sorry"

"no its fine... its great, you should say yes for once" kendall said.

"what? what do you mean for once? what has james said to you?..." i questioned kendall, he had the 'oh shit' face on him now.

"kendall tell me...?" i poked him with my finger.

kendall rolled his eyes at his own big mouthed cock up. "fuck sake...! james said he is gonna ask you to marry him at your party in bel air, he told me so i could make myself scarce if i didnt want to see it" he confessed.

i knew it... bloody james. i knew he would plan something like this. he is so devious.
"so what did you say?" i asked kendall, i narrowed my eyes not sure what to expect.

"i said go for it and i will be there" he simply said.

"really?" i asked, kind of shocked.

"yeah really... so what are you going to say? yes or no?" kendall asked with a large grin on his face.

i looked at his face trying to make sure he wasnt bluffing to trick me in to saying my real feelings so he can start an arguement. i couldnt tell what he was thinking... damn you kendall.

i answered truthfully "im gonna say YES" i screamed, kendall laughed, that was a good sign. he wasnt bluffing then.

"i honestly love that man so much kendall, truth be told i said no to him before cause i didnt want to hurt you"

kendall pulled in to the private clinic and parked up "everything is fine now. its time we all moved on" he said.

i smiled. "you alright to help me in?" i asked

"yeah sure" he replied.

kendall helped me out of the car, and in to the clinic holding doors as he went, i noticed the bruise on his face had calmed down slightly from what i vaguely remember it looked like last night.

i was told to wait in the doctors office, kendall accompanied me. its nothing he hasnt heard before, me and my back problems are a package deal unfortunatly. so any boyfriend ive ever had since that ski slope accident is fully aware of the shit i endure because of it.

doctor arnold robyns walked in, he had been my personal spinal doctor since my first operation. he had celebrated many highs and lows with me as i got back on my feet in the first few months after the accident.

"sheriden.. thanks you for coming back down here today, i do appreciae it" doc robyns said with a smile.

"thats fine arnold, i take it you have found out whats causing the pain?" i hoped to god i hadnt caused enough damage to need another operation.

"yes" doctor robyns said as he pulled out some xrays. one i had already seen today. he pinned them up on the light board.

kendall looked at me from his seat sat next to me and smiled, i smiled back.

"right sheriden the xray on the right is from today and the one on the left is from a month after your final operation, 4 years ago almost"

i nodded.

"if you look at the left you can see the vertebrae looks solid where as the right it has eroded considerably"

i nodded again as the doctor wiggled his pen pointing out what he was seeing on the xrays.

"your telling me i caused that much damage falling down a ditch?" i asked confused.

"no what your feeling now is just where the vertebrae have collided together in the fall. its just swelling at the moment causing the pain, what this is sheriden" he wiggled his pen at the right hand xray "is what i have noticed today, unfortunatly the latest xray you have had has confirmed that you have osteoporosis, which is a weakness in you bone density. it makes fractures easier to happen basically"

"ok so this osteo... thing, how can we get rid of it?" i asked

"well unfortunatly sheriden its not as easy as that, i mean in a normal person i would recommend healthy eating and regular excersise to help maintain strong bones but...well because of your spine, and the fact your normal physio wont really alter the strength of you bones in your back there isnt much we can do"

i looked at kendall... i was having a hard time understanding what i was being told.

"um... so what? she is going to be in this pain for ever... cant you just give her meds for that?" kendall asked.

the doctor looked at kendall "if you imagine sheridens spine as a pyramid, and over the years the base of the pyramid slowly erodes away, the bottom parts of the pyramid will slowly break as the weight of the top bears down on it... do you see what im saying?" the doctor concluded.

"so her back is just slowly getting worse?" kendall summed up the doctors in depth anology.

the doctor turned back to me
"im afraid so yes, i mean the pain you have now should subside, but in the future i would seriously recommend no drink and drugs and a very healthy diet... i know from your current weight you are still under, but anything much greater than what you are in later life could possibly send you in to a wheel chair sheriden.

kendall smiled "so you cant get fat shoo in other words" he said eyes smiling at me.

the doctor continued. you will have to take great care as to not fall, dont let it take over your life but act with caution when you can" the doctor finished and sat in his chair.

"so this osteoporosis thing i have... is caused from my skiing accident?" i asked still not quite getting what was actually being explained to me.

"no, it has absolutly nothing to do with the spinal injury itself... mainly osteoporosis is found in the older generation, usually after a lifetime of bad diet and smoking and drinking for example." he clarified.

"so basically ive caused my own bones to do this from the shit lifestyle that i had?" i felt pissed off, i also felt kendalls hand slip in to mine. he squeezed it.

the doctor ignored my temper " sheriden you can lead a perfectly normal life for now, you will have to make minimum changes to your lifestyle and increase your physiotherapy. you just need to remain healthy, that in its self can pro long the life of your bones" he sounded optimistic. "there is no reason that you cant go on leading the same life as you have now for many years, you just have to go easy on your body, any trauma to you back could easily cause it to re break and there wouldnt be much chance of it being fixed after that seeing as your mostly rods and pins in there anyway"

"so trauma as in a fall basically, so she was lucky this time?" kendall said shaking his head at me like i was an idiot.

"yes any trauma, sheriden your 30 now? is that right?" the doctor asked looking at notes.
i nodded as my reply.

"what about having a baby?" i asked "what risks does that carry?"

i felt kendall squeeze my hand again.

"i would not recommend having any children sheriden... i am sorry. a natural birth would have to be completly ruled out, and i doubt your body would accomodate pregnancy to a reasonable length of time for a successfull delivery by c section"

i felt a lump in my throat, i didnt want to cry in front of the doctor, i stayed silent and tried to compose my self inhaling deep breaths.

"um, if she did get pregnant... what is the likely drill... of things to come" kendall asked for me, knowing full well how much i needed a child in my life, maybe not now but someday, i was going to marry james. everything was meant to be perfect.

"if she decided to go ahead with a pregnancy then i fear it would put both mother and childs life at risk, if the pregnancy could hold out to term then i would very much doubt sheridens back could... it may sever the spinal cord"

kendall rubbed his face with his free hand. he looked at me, i looked at him. i was in total shock. once again my life had been wrecked in the blink of an eye.

"sheriden im going to recommend you see a specialist counsellor, it says on your notes that you are currently due to see one in the light of your recent personal problems, but i would strongly recommend talking to a proffessional spinal doctor that can talk you through about any disabilities that may arise"

"disabilities that may arise?" kendall said

"its purely as a precautionary measure to explain to sheriden what later life may hold" the doctor said.

"but she wont ends up disabled will she?" kendall asked, sounding a bit pissed off with this news himself now.

"if she leads a healthy life then she should be fine, obviously in old age no one can say what may or may not happen until we get there"

i tried to stand up. i had heard enough now. kendall helped me to my feet.

"thank you" i said to arnold robyns as i hobbled my way out of his office. kendall took a piece of paper from him, i presumed was a prescription for my pain.
we made our way back to kendalls car

as we sat in the car i just stared in to space.

"sheriden... what just happened in there... i mean its all going to be fine still, you just cant do anymore stupid shit" kendall said.

"yeah... yeah i know" i replied.

"come here..." kendall said and pulled himself over to me for a hug, i burst in to tears but i didnt say anything and nor did kendall, he just held me.

"you want to go home shoo?" he finally whispered, cupping my face in his hands.

"yeah"

as we drove back in silence i thought of nothing but james. how was it fair that the stupid mistakes i had made in my life should affect him so badly. he didnt sign up to look after some disabled idiot, he wants a runway model. he deserves a runway model, or atleast anyone that isnt going to drag him down.
i can imagine him now as i tell him the news of whats just happened. he will say something loving that will take some of the hurt away.
but i know... i know him inside out, we have talked about our life together, doing things in a life time of happiness, having a million kids... well that wasnt going to happen now, not even close, not even one.

and that mansion... shit almost $9million on a house that will only ever have the two of us in it.

how can i ever be that selfish to condemn the man i love so much to a life he doesnt want. am i that selfish? probably!

"kendall can you do a favour for me and just pop in my house quick, i need some things from my room" i asked

"yeah course, you got the keys?" he asked with a smile, and again i tapped my little shoulder bag that was slung over my head.

we pulled in to my gated property, i opened the gates myself this time with the fob from my keys, kendall pulled up just outside th door.

i looked up at the house, it was beautiful but i still couldnt do it. i handed kendall the keys " would you mind grabbing a bag thats in my room, its in the large closet, its pink and black" i asked.

kendall smiled at me, grabbed the keys and left me alone in the car to grab my overnight bag, he emerged again after just a few moments.

he chucked the bag in the back of his car and drove to james' house.

as he walked me in the bungalow, he chucked the bag on the sofa and gave me a hug "you gonna be okay? i dont mind staying with you shoo" he said as he held me.

i took in every moment, every smell from kendall, every memory i could master up, and i locked them away in my heart.

"i will be fine" i said not doing a very good job at holding my tears back, a couple fell down my face which kendall wiped away with his thumb

he kissed my forehead "you alright getting to bed?" he asked

i smiled at his sillyness "there are no stairs" i replied.

kendall smiled back and if i wasnt mistaken i saw his eyes fill up.

"get some rest" he ordered "everything will be fine, we all love you" he whispered and left with a smile and a squeeze of my hand.

i sat myself on the sofa next to the pink and black overnight bag.

i loved james so much, i couldnt do this to him.

only one more chapter left to go, then a third story will emerge soon enough. which im hoping logan will appear in more. his character makes me laugh. thanks for reading xxx treehatsrock xxx