Be Santana Lopez.
You are Santana Lopez. You like breadsticks, looking hot, and Wikipedia, because it contains information on the most obscure things and you can literally stay on the site for hours reading anything from Sacagawea to Norse mythology. Your strife specibus is scissorkind, because scissors are sharp and pointy, and they are also a metaphor for lesbian sex, or something like that.
EDIT: You may or may not be starting to like blue-eyed blondes with the ability to obliterate an entire army using a rubber duck.
"I'm Santana. Lopez. And I have no witty remark to add to this so you win," you say.
Usually, words come to you easily. You've been known to compliment or insult people with references so obscure they don't even know what you're talking about.
But this girl—you don't know how; is it her athletic body, the way she talks, her eyes? Or is it all of the above and everything else she's got? Either way, she makes thinking extremely hard.
Which is funny, since you're the Witch of Mind and everything.
The only thing you can think of right now is the way her super-blue eyes roamed over your bare legs. Thank gog Dave convinced you to cosplay as that videogame chick whose name you can't even remember right now before you played SBURB, otherwise you'd be in your Powerpuff Girls PJs dying from embarrassment instead of finding out that you might actually have a chance with the most attractive girl you've ever seen.
Speaking of Dave, you think you should contact your best lesbro sooner or later because you have no idea what to do right now besides flounder at Brittany's feet.
"Good. I like winning," she smiles, and you feel it taking your breath away because, gogdamnit, she's literally perfect.
"So, do you know where the portal is?"
You shake your head, and she grins.
"We can find it together then."
She jumps off the Buddha head and runs towards the east. You shake your head as you regain your ability to think and you follow after her.
You remember her scissoring comment and the blush she sported afterwards and you're pretty sure you have a chance.
But it's better not to mess it up.
You take out your laptop and log into Pesterchum.
- tenebrousAutodidact [TA] began pestering compunctTitan [CT]-
TA: karofsky, i need your help.
CT: thought u cud handl dem imps by yourself lopez
TA: i can hand them their asses twice over dave. it's not that.
TA: you ever talk with celesticgaminesque?
CT: once or twice
CT: why
CT: oh shit did u meet her
CT: shes smoking isnt she
TA: yeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssss
TA: what do i do?
CT: nevr thought you;d have trouble wit the ladies lopez
CT: even tho ur almost a bigger nerd than evans
TA: that's the guy whose ass you admired when you met him right
TA: oops i'm sorry i mean whose pants you were determining
CT: shut up
TA: gay gay gay gay gay
CT: look whos talking
CT: do u wnt my help or not
TA: no
CT: okay
- compunctTitan [CT] ceased pestering tenebrousAutodidact [TA] -
TA: jegus! i was kidding!
- compunctTitan [CT] began pestering tenebrousAutodidact [TA] -
CT: :P
CT: okay wheres the smking lady
You look up, and you realize that the lady in question's way ahead of you.
She notices that you're lagging behind, and starts to run back, but you gesture for her to stay where she is.
TA: fuck gotta run
TA: when i come back i am expecting an elaborate plan to help me not embarrass myself ok
- tenebrousAutodidact [TA] ceased pestering compunctTitan [CT] -
You pack your laptop and place it back in your sylladex before running after Brittany.
"Who were you talking to?" she asks when you stop at her side
"A guy. Dave. He's probably in the planet after this."
The two of you start walking, which is good, because you're hungry and you're pretty sure you saw a forest in this direction.
"Oh. So are you two toge—"
"He's gay."
Fuck. Karofsky's going to kill you.
"And he's my lesbro."
Okay, it's the moment of truth.
Brittany slows down, and faces her.
"You're gay?"
You nod, and she grins.
"Cool. I'm a unicorn too."