Sebastian didn't know. Of course he didn't. It was the way Jim had always planned it. Sebastian would know nothing. The night before he would treat Sebastian. Take him to the opera. Dinner. He'd enjoy his last night.
And that's what he had done. Sebastian had loved La Traviata. Which Jim had always expected. How could he not? Sebastian didn't understand a single word yet had been captivated by the music. They had dined at his favourite restaurant and then made their way home. Jim had then started drinking.
He hadn't meant to. He knew that once he had one glass he could get carried away but Sebastian had insisted. Who was he to argue with Sebastian when he was about to do him so wrong? Yet the alcohol just opened up his bitterness. He hated Holmes. He hated Sebastian. Nobody was meant to get to him. Nobody. Holmes was meant to be gone. Dead. Sebastian wasn't meant to be in his life. He was going to be on top. Alone.
"You ruined everything," he spat after downing another glass of whiskey. Sebastian remained silent. Which was probably for the best. If he had started talking, arguing maybe, then Jim would have blurted his plan out. "Everything, you know? You fucked up, Sebastian."
Jim stumbled towards the door. Turning around before exiting the door he glared right at Sebastian. "I just want you to know," he whispered. "That whatever happens is entirely your fault."
Jim stared over the roof top into the neighbouring building. He knew Sebastian could see him. He also knew the man hadn't spoken to him all morning. Guilt flooded through Jim's body. Pained by the guilt of what he was about to do. This wasn't how it was meant to happen. He wasn't meant to get attached. Maybe he had time to ring Sebastian. To apologise.
He was about to click the call button when he felt the minute vibration within his hand. Too late.
"I'm sorry," Jim whispered as he stole a quick glance at the building opposite beginning to play the Bee Gees his phone. Laughing at the irony of the lyrics. He wasn't staying alive. He wasn't staying alive at all. Sighing Jim began to wait for Sherlock to arrive.
He never did get to say goodbye.