Chapter Three

My first awareness of any sensation was pain.

My eyes burst open into darkness as my hands reached to my chest, where a dull burning throb concentrated beneath coarse bandages.

I groaned loudly and tried to sit up, but a strong hand touched my shoulder and wouldn't let me rise.

"Don't move!" Snow's voice exclaimed softly. The room was lit by a single candle stood on the stool next to the bed. I could barely make out Snow's features, but he looked concerned. "You're still a mess; we didn't have the strength to fully heal you."

"Shit!" I hissed, laying back down. "What happened, where are we?"

"Oerba, sis." He stated, carefully pouring me a cup of water. Gratefully, I allowed him to press it to my lips and swallowed.

"We weren't sure you were going to make it. We had to carry you here in a makeshift litter with this huge sliver of metal in your body." He held his hands wide apart for dramatic effect "You kept going in and out of consciousness. Every time you woke up, you'd be screaming in pain and the monsters would be attracted, so it took a while to get here. Then when I finally pulled it out…" His hand made the shape of a large 'O', perhaps denoting the size of the hole in my chest.

I raised my hand up to stop him, I didn't really want to know the details of what I looked like with my guts spilling out of my body, if that's what happened.

"Well, it's a pretty crazy story." He continued. "Maybe you should rest a bit more and then I'll tell you some more in the morning."

"No." I spoke, "I have to heal myself a bit; I don't like feeling weak as this."

I willed some power to my insides and felt quite a lot better instantly. There was still a dull ache inside me, but at least I could sit up comfortably. Snow poured me another cup of water, which I accepted.

"Where is everybody else?" I asked before taking a sip.

"Sleeping," He replied. "Hope and Vanille used a lot of energy trying to keep you alive on the way here, and then used up the rest to keep you from bleeding to death after the metal was pulled out; poor kids. Fang, Sazh, and I have been taking turns watching over you."

I sighed deeply. I suddenly felt exhausted as I realized what a burden I had been. I lay back against the pillow and realized for the first time what soft fibres it bore. This was one of the legendary pillows I had learned about that night at the beacon.

"Vanille…" I whispered without thinking, Snow heard me.

"What about her." He asked curiously.

"Nothing"

"Ummm…Sis…" Snow began, "Actually, I wanted to ask you this some other time, but it occurred to me I should ask you privately and uh…"

"What?" I exclaimed quietly. I expected he wanted some knowledge concerning Serah.

"Well, we found out that we could get you to be quiet if Vanille laid with you in the litter, and uh…"

My gut sank.

"I don't remember that." I said defensively. "What about it?"

He rubbed the back of his head. He looked embarrassed about what he was about to say, it made me want to punch him in the mouth for drawing it out.

"Okay, so Vanille couldn't exactly deny something was going on between you two, and that's great, if she's who you want. I'm sure Serah would approve."

Fuck, this was the last thing I wanted everyone to know.

"I don't…We're not…" I stammered.

"It's okay," he interrupted. "You don't have to explain things; I just wanted you to know you don't have to pretend any more that she's not there."

Ouch.

I turned my head away, ashamed that he'd realized what I'd done. I heard him stand up and walk a few steps away before stopping.

"It looks like we'll be here at least another night, try to get some rest. There's food and stuff in the dining area over there, when you're ready."

I later learned, once daylight came that 'there' meant a kitchen area with a table and some chairs in a long room lined with bunk beds. I was relieved he had gone; I needed time to brood.

Fuck.

He knew, everybody knew. I'd let desire interfere with our mission, I had exposed myself - How could the affection of one beautiful girl make me do that?

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

My skin, itching below the bandages added to my frustration. I pulled at them where I laid to free myself, but the binding was too complicated. I wondered where my clothing was since I was still in shorts, but above the waist it was only these bandages.

"Let me help you."

Her voice struck me as if I'd been hit in the chest again.

Vanille.

I saw her outline in the darkness, she was on a bed across the room from me. Conflicted, my immediate instinct was to lash out as I normally would, to tell her to leave me alone and that this was all her fault, but something inside me halted my tongue. The rage fell away as she stood up, and it was completely forgotten by the time she sat next to me on the bed. As I sat up, she placed a hand on my knee above the blanket.

"I'm sorry for waking you." I stated, imagining she had overheard my conversation with Snow.

"You must still be tired."

She nodded and grinned slightly. Her eyes were small and the flesh around them was puffy, a certain sign that the girl was still recovering from exhaustion.

"I haven't been able to stay asleep actually. I keep waking up afraid you're in trouble again."

I took her hand in mine and squeezed gently.

"I heard, you drained yourself to save me. I'm sorry you had to do that - but thank you."I said softly.

She made a happy sound in her throat before her free hand found its way to the back of my ribs.

"What are you—." I began to say, before I felt the bandages suddenly loosen around me. She showed me a small metal clip she had just removed.

"I just have to unwind this wrapping a few times, then you should be able to lift it off."

Oh.

I felt strange as I raised my arms high enough to allow her to undress me, especially since in different circumstances she had already done this before. Part of me was telling myself that this was weak. All I needed to do was hit myself with a bit more power, then I'd be back in control and marching us back into battle by morning. Unfortunately, I could feel I didn't have much left in me.

Vanille was sporting bandages around her upper right arm. It was the wound from our last fight.

"Your arm," I noted, my hand was close enough to touch her bandaged area. "I remember when you got this. Do you want me to heal it for you?"

"No, it's not that bad." She replied as she continued to unwind me. "It just needed a few stitches. At least I can have a great battle scar to brag about."

I winced at the thought of her having to endure such a procedure, myself having received a few over the course of my life. I wasn't sure if her exhausted, yet cheerful face was just a brave front, but I was certain that it must still be hurting her, since any medicinal things in Oerba would likely have stopped being useful hundreds of years ago.

"Lightning?" She questioned as I closed my eyes, focusing my energy to my fingertips, willing her skin and any other place she may have been hurting, to heal. I heard her gasp, before quiet overcame her. It was only a few seconds until I was drained, but when I opened my eyes, I found hers closed with a peaceful expression.

She was truly beautiful. My pulse quickened, I felt as though I could just lean forward and rouse her again with the softest kiss, but before I could act, her green gaze was upon me with a wide-eyed expression.

"Oh my Goddess, Lightning! You are beautiful!" She exclaimed as she placed her hands against my arms. "You really must smile more often."

I hadn't realized what I was doing. My face felt hot with embarrassment and instantly became stone.

"Weren't you about to remove these bandages?" I said grumpily, she smirked.

"Of course."

She motioned for my arms to rise again, before she lifted the remains of the bandages over my head. After placing them on the floor, she lifted up the candle and brought it close to my bare chest. I could see a red, raised area of skin that partially broke the bottom tip of my brand. It was about a hand's width in length.

"Damn..." I muttered out loud. "I can't believe I'm alive."

Vanille's fingertips caressed lightly down the tender scar as a deep yawn fell from her mouth with her rising chest. Poor tired girl, yet eternally cheeky; her fingers trailed from my wound to follow the rise of my left breast to swirl my areola.

"Vanille," I growled lowly, receiving a cute 'Mmmh?' as a reply.

"Come here."

I pulled her on top of me and her head naturally fell to the side of mine, her hand still covering my breast. With a sleepy voice, she whispered.

"I still get to have you."

"Mm-hmm."

I kissed her forehead then closed my eyes and allowed myself to relax beneath her warmth.

"Just a short rest."