A/N: Note to self, never look at the Story Traffic page whilst eating! I nearly died, I knew you guys liked it but WOW!!! There's people from the USA, UK, Canada, Australia, Denmark, Argentina, Mexico, Italy, Ireland, Brazil, France, Germany and Trinidad, I hadn't even heard of Trinidad until now!!! MoriOokami, I know that updates make you happy but there's no need to give yourself brain damage, lol!!! You know what's funny, when you have an argument with yourself and then you lose!!! Enjoy Part 2 of Ch.3!
Disclaimer: I don't own the Akatsuki or Pot Noodle (why do we do this, I mean, it's called fanfiction.net for a reason!)
I was sitting on the surface, next to the sink, contemplating on whether or not to hide in the cupboards, and if found, claim to be looking for cereal. The kettle finished boiling and I poured the water into my Pot Noodle, grabbing a fork from the drawer. I opened the door a bit and looked into the lounge, I couldn't see anyone. Frowning, I walked out of the kitchen and looked around, 'Huh? Where'd they go?', my suspicions were immediately aroused, and I searched for any pieces of furniture that hadn't been there before, as well as listening for footsteps sneaking up on me, even Tobi/Madara was gone.
Then I heard a shout coming from my room, 'Oh hell no!', I thought and sprinted into my room, somehow managing not to spill any Pot Noodle, the Akatsuki were in my room, bent over my computer, which I faintly recalled having left on a page.
It took a few seconds for me to process this, 3, 2, 1......."AAAHH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!!", I yelled, putting my Pot Noodle on my bedside table and diving to cover the computer screen, stopping in mid-air behind them?!
I froze in confusion, and then noticed the chakra strings and black threads supporting me, "Hey let me down!!!!", nothing...
Deidara leant forward, "Click on 'My Stories', un", and Pein, who was sitting in the computer chair, clicked the mouse, "AH!! No, don't look, please!!!!" I pleaded, getting no response.
My stories consisted of yaoi and AkatsukixOC, most rated M, and my profile picture was one of some of the Akatsuki shirtless that I'd found on deviantART (this picture actually exists!)!
They were ignoring me, so I tried using my ultimate tactic, "RAPE!" I yelled...nothing happened, even though Kakuzu's tentacles were wrapped around my thighs, waist, wrists and shoulders. I growled in frustration, "Believe me, you really don't want to read some of that! There's yaoi!" I said, and Kisame looked up, "Then we'll avoid the ones that say 'yaoi' in the summaries", he flashed a shark-like grin at me, I stuck out my tongue, he chuckled and looked back to the screen. Then after a few clicks, Hidan yelled and jumped back, "That's gross, what the fuck!", he glared at me, "Which one was it?" I asked, and I was lowered to the ground, I squeezed through and was finally able to see the screen.
It was a KakuHida story I'd done with Hidan as the uke, normally I made him the seme but I'd had this random idea while re-watching the Hidan and Kakuzu arc.
I giggled, and then I was dragged out by Kakuzu's threads and held up against the wall, eye level with Kakuzu, who was livid, "heheh" I laughed nervously, and then Hidan came up behind him, I was frightened, they could be quite scary when they wanted to be, and they knew it.
I gulped, they glared, Hidan gripped his scythe, "W-wait a second! Y-you're m-meant to b-be f-fictional ch-characters! A-and people have i-imaginations, y-y'know!", Hidan gave me a 'wtf' look, but didn't let go of his scythe. I felt tentacles creeping around my throat, I closed my eyes in terror, "Kakuzu, Hidan, don't kill her" said Pein, and I felt the threads release me and I slid down the wall, breathing heavily, Tobi/Madara came up to us, "Why'd you do that senpai?!" he asked, "Hn, you don't want to know" said Kakuzu and strolled past him, I grabbed Tobi/Madara's collar and brought his face up to mine, "Get them away from that" I demanded quietly, and he nodded, tapping Pein on the shoulder, they exchanged glances.
Pein stood up and left, followed by the rest of the Akatsuki, Konan pinching her nose, her eyes met mine and she stifled a giggle, turning it into clearing her throat.
I walked up to my computer and looked through my history, they hadn't read much, I sighed in relief, and I shut-down my computer.
I looked at my alarm clock, 22:03 blinked at me, I yawned and carried my Pot Noodle into the lounge. The sofa was occupied, so I sank into a pouffe to eat my noodles. When I was finished I put the empty pot in the kitchen, then went back into the lounge and cleared my throat, they looked at me, "I'm tired, so I'll forgive you for invading my secret base without permission, but I have to turn you back into plushies now", almost immediately a hand covered my mouth, it was Pein, 'When did he get behind me?!', his ringed eyes looked into mine, "No" he said, emotionless, I held my hand up in defeat, he let go, "Then you'd better give me a very good reason why I shouldn't", I retorted, folding my arms.
Sasori made space on the sofa, and patted the spot next to him, "Uh-uh, I'm not falling for that again!" I said, but I began walking towards him, "Stop doing that Jashin-dammit!", Hidan looked at me, confused, but I didn't notice because I was now sitting next to Sasori, and he was playing with my hair, I was blushing and I knew exactly what he was doing. Deidara and Hidan were sniggering at my predicament, the rest just stared, "Sasori, what on earth are you doing?!" Kakuzu asked, bewildered, Hidan whispered in his ear, Kakuzu nodded, a smirk forming under his mask.
I blushed deeper as Sasori pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me, I shivered when he nibbled on my ear. I couldn't move, and I was blushing with anger and embarrassment, but I couldn't speak, I pretended to go limp and Sasori smirked, he released the chakra threads and spun me around so that I was now facing him.
He leant forwards and his lips were about to make contact with mine, when a fist smashed into his face, "Ow! Your face is hard" I said after jumping away, cradling my hand, Sasori frowned and I stuck my tongue out at him. Deidara and Hidan were laughing silently at Sasori's failed attempt, and even Kakuzu hid his laughter in a cough.
I yawned and rubbed one eye, and was knocked to the floor in a bear-hug from Tobi, "Aiko-chan looked so cute! Tobi had to give her a hug!". We'd landed in front of Kisame, I was on my stomach, Tobi/Madara on top, I looked up at Kisame, my face saying 'help me!', Kisame pointed at Tobi, "Tobi, get off Aiko-san! Go, mate elsewhere!" he said, and I burst out laughing, Tobi/Madara got off and they gathered around me, staring, I was clutching my sides laughing, eventually I was able to get up and I ran off, bringing back a picture I'd found on Flickr and printed out. I handed it to Kisame and he started laughing, and then the picture was passed around, earning laughter and grimaces. I giggled, "The funny thing is, I didn't make that!" I said, and yawned again, Tobi prepared to spring, "NO HUG!" I yelled, raising my arms in defence, Tobi's arms dropped to his sides, and lowered his head, crestfallen. I had to stop myself from laughing out loud, it was hard to believe that he was the same man who'd threatened me and almost killed me this morning.
I yawned and my eyelids felt heavy, "OK, I give up, you can stay human tonight, but don't kill anybody, no blood spillage, don't destroy my house, don't kill me in my sleep, or go into my room at all, if you don't do as I say, yaoi is the consequence" I finished, and walked off to my room, turning the lights off on the way. I locked my door and jumped into bed, snuggling into my duvet, "What a crazy Christmas Day", I contemplated before falling asleep.
BEEP!
BEEP!
BEEP!
BEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-CRASH!
I shivered and wriggled under the warm covers, but something felt strange. I sat up and looked down, my pyjama top was missing.....................3, 2, 1...........
"KYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed, and cast about for my pyjama top, it was hanging on my bedpost with a post-it note stuck to it. I grabbed my pyjama top and pulled it on, blushing furiously, and ripped off the post-it note, it said;
You're a fuckin' heavy sleeper!
But they aren't bloody bad!
There was a Jashinism symbol scrawled underneath, and I knew full well what he meant by 'they', and swore to kill Hidan as soon as I lay my hands on him, 'That bloody pervert!!!', I thought, and I blushed deeper, "HIDAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!" I yelled, and laughter came from the other side of the wall, 'AND he's been listening!!!! Why I oughta...!', my face blushed another shade deeper and my hands balled into fists.
I stomped over to the door and threw it open, Hidan was sitting against the wall, grinning. I grabbed his collar and hauled him to his feet, "You, you bastard!" I yelled, Hidan chuckled, "What ever did I do?" he asked sarcastically, a smirk plastered onto his face. A second later there was a bright red hand mark on his cheek and I was stomping off to my room, face blushing like mad, "It was fuckin' worth it!" Hidan said back at me, rubbing his cheek, "SCREW YOU!!!" I yelled, slamming my bedroom and locking it again, how he managed to open my door without breaking the lock amazes me.
Unfortunately for the alarm clock, I decided to take out my anger on it, kicking it into the opposite wall, where it completely smashed. Anger subsided, I started getting dressed.
I was in the kitchen, pouring milk into a bowl of cereal, humming 'Bad Boy' by Cascada, tapping my foot to the rhythm. I decided to eat my breakfast in the safety if the kitchen, where it was unlikely to see any annoying bastards, (cough) Hidan (cough)! Thankfully I've been pretty much left alone this morning, I haven't been hung upside down, tripped up OR slung over someone's shoulder, even Tobi left me alone! It might have been the menacing aura that rolled off me in waves...
I finished the cereal and decided I needed toast and chocolate spread, making an extra piece in case one was stolen. I walked into the lounge and plonked myself onto the middle of the sofa, munching my toast.
Hidan came into the room, I sent him my evillest death glare, he grinned, I ignored him and went back to munching my toast. He sat down next to me, I slid to the opposite end of the sofa, he followed, I stood up and sank into a pouffe at the other end of the room, he pouted. It was so cute but I was still mad at him...
Kisame looked from me, to Hidan, and back again, raising an eyebrow questioningly, "Hidan did something" he concluded, "No shit, Sherlock" I said. Awkward silence followed, 'Great, all we need now is some tumbleweed!', I thought. I glared at Hidan, he stared right back, a stupid grin on his face, I didn't break eye-contact, all the while glaring at the perverted Jashinist.
The room was silent now as the rest of Akatsuki watched our glaring contest, it felt like a scene in a cowboy film, y'know when they stand there, and there's tumbleweed, and their fingers wiggle, and then they whip their guns out and shoot! Although there weren't any guns or tumbleweed, I had a plastic plate, but that's not going to be of any help to me against a three-bladed scythe.
Eventually, Hidan blinked, I jumped up and pointed at him, "AHA! I win!", and sat back down on my pouffe...into someone's lap! I tried getting up again, but hands wrapped around me and pulled me close. I growled, "Jashin-dammit! Who is it this time?!" I said, annoyed, looking back to see the Jashinist himself, I gasped and looked back at the sofa, there was no-one there, "Fast" I murmured.
I was sitting between Hidan's legs, my back pressed up against his very nice chest, making me blush, and his muscular arms were wrapped around my shoulders, my blush darkened. It was pointless trying to escape so I tried to distract myself by picking up a piece of chocolate spread-covered-toast and putting it into my mouth. I finished my last piece of toast and started sucking the chocolate off my fingers slowly. I felt several eyes staring at me from across the room, so I looked up to see four Akatsuki staring at me. Kisame gulped, Deidara was drooling slightly, Itachi was wide-eyed and Kakuzu's mask had a damp patch below his nose. I blushed again and looked away, then a hand pulled my face up and I was looking into violet eyes, Hidan's eyes were deep pools of passion, they were chaotic, entrancing. I could only stare into purple fire as he leant forward, and licked a smear of chocolate spread ever so slowly from the corner of my mouth. The tip of his tongue touched my lips and my blush darkened, he pulled back saying, "You're cute when you blush" making me blush all the more. He released my face, caressing my cheek as he did so, and I remembered those watching. I looked back at them, now they looked almost as if they were jealous, and I smirked, "Aww, are you jealous of little old me?" I teased, and they frowned in disgust at what I was implying and went about their businesses. I giggled, Hidan's arms wrapped around my waist, it felt so comfortable, and warm to be sitting in Hidan's arms, and I felt myself getting drowsy, Hidan whispered into my ear, "D'you forgive me, then?", I sighed contentedly, "Yes" I whispered back and snuggled into his chest, drifting off to sleep.
A/N: Aww, I loved writing this! Kakuzu had a nosebleed for those who didn't guess it! ^^
As always, tell me what you think and click the green button! The shiny, shiny green button, calling out to you! Lolz, reviews = updates!