Warning: This takes place in the past, seven years (about) before the actual plot.
Chapter 1: Chinatsu Asuka
Love. Relationships. Marriage.
The significance of these words was always a mystery to me. Love has many different meanings, yet no explicit description. Relationships between couples where they "love" each other yet fight and break up in the end. Marriage, growing old together with your lover only to slowly fall out of love with them as time passes. Humans yearn for the feeling of love, but at the end of the road what is the point of "love"?
Some confessed that they liked me, yet when asked "why?", they choke on their words, unable to speak. Humans find looks appealing to the eye, yet once they get a good look on the inside they cower away.
However, once upon a time, there was a girl whose eyes sparkled with an irresistible glow. Truly with all my heart, I believe she was the closest thing I knew to a perfect being. Yes, she had flaws, but if anything those flaws perfected her. That girl wasn't the first person to confess to me nor was she the last. Her glow was so bright that it still affects me to this day. I wonder if I would ever get the chance to see those eyes of hers once more.
Coming and going like a storm as if she was just flowing along, in the blink of an eye, she was gone. Yet, as if it was just yesterday, I can still remember her voice like a whisper in my ear … and the way she smiled at me. The warmth of her embrace, her love, everything felt so brief, but even now as the years have passed I still remember every moment we had spent together. Even now, I still long for her.
I wonder if I had never met you, how would I have gone along in life? Yet, when I think about the chances, I can't even begin to think of a life without you. But if that's so, how am I to live now? When you're gone? How I wish I could see your beautiful smile once more.
My eyes narrowed in front of me as I stared at the podium. The first-year representative, a position given to the person who had the highest score on the entrance exams. Never had anyone even gotten a score better than mine, curiosity was killing me. Who had gotten a better score than me?
Jet-black locks of hair swiftly moved across my vision instantly catching my attention. The sound of their steps echoed in the soundless gym, the students became enthralled by their mere presence. It was quiet. Quiet enough that a pin could be heard if dropped.
Their feet came to a stop at the podium snapping the students out of their thoughts. A whisper came over the crowd, speaking the same nonsense among themselves.
"My what a beauty!"
"You think she's single?"
"Ahem," They clear their throat, silence enveloped the crowd once again, silver eyes gazing over the crowd, "My name is Nanami Mio." She smiled and for a moment, her gaze seemed to stop on mine.
"I look forward to this coming year."
From that moment forth, our "rivalry" began. Although at one point it turned out not to be just a childish rivalry, but perhaps something more.
The paper crumpled in my hand as I stared at it, my eyes gliding over the many names of class "1-B" only to stop on one name in particular "Nanami Mio". By my luck, I was placed in the very same class as Miss Representative. And of course, she had already managed to gather her entourage of obedient dogs on the very first day.
A group of girls had gathered around my desk which was seated at the very right of the classroom and three seats back from the door. Looking up from the paper, my eyes met three girls all very similar in features yet one had glasses, the other short hair, and finally one with long hair. If they were to keep the same hairstyle, I would never be able to tell them apart.
"Chinatsu-san, we were wondering if you would like to join us for lunch?" The short-haired girl spoke, a smile brightly plastered on her face.
I simply smiled at her and said, "Please enjoy your lunch among yourselves." The three looked at each other awkwardly, clearly not expecting my response.
Standing up from my desk, my eyes made their way over to a large crowd surrounding a desk in the very back. There sitting at that very desk was none other than Nanami Mio. As if she felt my gaze, her eyes instantly met mine, and a smile made its way toward me. I puffed my chest out at her, side-eyeing her as I left the room. Not because of anger, but rather discontent because of my loss. In the distance, I could hear the faint sound of her voice talking to another person. "Is something wrong, Nanami-san?"
"...No, nothing's wrong."
She was only lucky that she got a better score than me. Next time for sure, I'll beat her. My competitive side burned with a fire yearning for competition.
Somehow I found myself in the school courtyard. There in the middle was a tree with green buds of cherry blossoms, a sign of new life, a new beginning. Underneath the tree was a bench, I collapsed into the chair as I stared at the branches above, beams of light peeking through the leaves.
Ruffling my hair in frustration, I groaned. Of course, my prideful competitive side had to be like this. It's not like I wanted to come off as someone who hated Nanami Mio but rather as someone who could compete with her like a rival. Finally, I had someone who could keep up with my pace. But I didn't know how to feel. Should I be happy that I had a rival? Or mad that I wasn't number one anymore?
I suddenly became acutely aware of my hunger as my stomach grumbled for food. Ugh, I forgot my wallet in my bag. How was I supposed to buy food now? I didn't want to go back to that classroom now, I needed the space away from the crowd of people who bother others to introduce themselves. In my frustration, I rustled my black locks of hair, running it through my long locks.
Usually, I would've packed a lunch of leftovers from the day before, yet I hadn't cooked the day before and ate the last of it then. My stomach continued to whine, yet I didn't want to return to the classroom. It would be a hassle having to walk back and forth. Ah, that reminds me, I need to go shopping for groceries afterward.
"Umm," without me noticing, another girl approached me, "C-Chinatsu-San, would you like this?" She held out a yakisoba bun to me with a timid smile, a plastic bag with food in the other hand. This girl had a gentle face with the appearance of a regular crowd face: long braided black hair and black orbs.
"O-oh, if you don't l-like yakisoba, y-you don't have to take it!" As soon as she saw me hesitate, she immediately started to retract her hand.
Amused, I chuckled lightly, causing the girl to freeze, "You're quite funny, you know? Randomly giving someone you don't know food."
"O-oh uhm, I d-didn't do a-anything to it. Just so you know!"
"Pfft. That's not what I'm worried about." I held in my laughter as she stammered. Holding out my hand, I gestured for her to hand it over to which she hastily placed it in my hand. "Thanks for the food." I waved the packaged bread with an amused grin on my face.
"Y-your welcome?"
Opening it up, I munched on the bread slowly satisfying my hunger. Seeing as the girl still stood there awkwardly, I patted next to me, "won't you sit with me?"
"R-right. P-please e-e-excuse me." She nervously stammered.
Glancing over at her, I realized she somehow knew my name, "By the way, how do you know my name?"
"I-I'm a f-first year in class 1-B, T-Tanaka T-T-Tsumugi." The now-named "Tanaka" introduced herself.
"…so we're in the same class…" I mumbled as I munched on the bread. Silence enveloped us as I stared at the sky. Something about the sky always gave me a feeling of anxiety. The world was so big that just thinking of it made me anxious. Knowing that beyond the barrier of our world was a whole other universe didn't help with my anxiety.
Trying to shake off this feeling, I attempted to make conversation and noticed that she wasn't eating. I said, "Tanaka-San, are you going to eat? Lunch will be over by the time you start."
"A-ah, r-right." She reached into the plastic bag and pulled out her lunch before she began to munch on it. If you were wondering, Tanaka-san was eating a melon bun. Though I prefer curry buns, yakisoba buns are my second favorite.
Once again silence had washed over our conversation, but I didn't mind. I would rather be stifled with quietness rather than a group of rowdy unfamiliar people. Crowds were never my thing, ever since I was little. My parents used to say when I was a baby just being around others who weren't them made me cry.
As I finished up my bun, I realized that Tanaka was staring at me. Raising an eyebrow, I asked as I checked my cheeks, "Is something on my face?"
Seemingly just realizing she was staring she quickly looked away, her face turning slightly red, "N-no, s-sorry!" She fiddled with her thumbs, her eyes quickly darting between them and me. I stared at her, awaiting an explanation. "I-it's just…" Patiently, I waited as I curiously gazed at her.
Tanaka rubbed the back of her neck lightly as she chuckled, "Y-your e-e-eyes, I-I was uhm thinking they're very p-pretty…"
"Oh, is that so? Thanks." It wasn't that unusual to hear those kinds of compliments, after all my eyes were very different from a typical Japanese person. Sometimes people would randomly come up to me and compliment my eyes. And of course, me being the introvert I was, I simply said thanks and walked away. Although…I do have to say, the look on their shocked faces as I pretty much ignored them as I walked away was priceless. I can't help but snicker about it internally.
"...T-they're a very pretty shade of green, a deep but soft shade. I-it sort of reminds me of a jade," as if she spoke too much, she covered her mouth with her hand, "a-ah, s-so-"
Cutting off her apology, I hummed, "A jade? Jades are quite beautiful aren't they?"
"o-oh, y-yes?"
I chuckled lightly, this Tanaka sure had a way of amusing me. Ever since the moment we met…oh right, how much longer do we have until the end of lunch? I began to dig into my skirt pocket looking for my phone as a source to tell time, yet I couldn't find it. And…of course, I left it in the classroom.
Turning to Tanaka-san, a sheepish smile on my face, I asked, "Sorry, Tanaka-san. Do you have your phone on you? I was just wondering how much time we have left for lunch."
"Y-yes, I do!" She said, surprisingly enthusiastically and I jumped a bit in surprise, to which she immediately apologized, "a-ah, sorry…"
"No, no you're fine." I simply smiled. She smiled back at me wearily.
Fishing her phone out of her pocket, she tapped the screen revealing a cute photo of a white cat. Oh, and of course the time. Seeing as we had enough time, I decided to initiate some small conversation.
Tanaka seemed to freeze up, having gone quiet. I looked at her frozen face before proceeding to ask, "Is that your cat?"
"...yes, h-he is."
"How adorable!" I cooed…perhaps I was a bit of a cat lover…ahem, never mind about that! "What's his name?"
"o-oh, it's M-makkuro…"
"Because of his black spots?" I grinned, maybe a bit too excited about the topic.
The girl suddenly blew up in a frenzy, taking me by surprise, "That's right! He has one on his eye, which gave me the idea. But he also has a spot on his belly and under his chin. It's like his favorite spots to be rubbed are m…marked…" Slowly she seemed to slow down as she realized that she had gone on a full-blown rant. Having been so enthusiastic about the topic that she was standing.
Tanaka deflated back into her seat, "S-sorry," she muttered under her breath.
"No, worries, Tanaka-san. I was pretty enthusiastic, too," I leaned back against the bench, staring at the grove of trees laid out in front of us, "...You really love your cat, huh?" I said, laughing as I remember how she burst into life at the mention of her cat.
"Y-yeah…" Her ears were red. Perhaps from embarrassment? Orbs of black darted towards me as she stammered out, "H-how about, C-Chinatsu-san? U-Uhm, do y-you have one, a pet?"
"Me? I also have a cat although she lives back with my parents in America." I hummed gleefully. Ahh, how I miss my sunshine, Hina. I cried internally, how long has it been since I've seen her?
"In A-a-a-America!?" She exclaimed loudly, not like I wasn't expecting this.
"Haha, yeah. I used to live there although I was born here. Pretty fluent in English, might I say." I said, pride hidden behind my voice, "But I pretty much spent the majority of my life here." Now that I think about it, how long has it been since I came to Japan all on my own?
"T-that's amazing!" Tanaka's eyes practically shinned with awe. If this were an anime, there would be stars in her eyes, haha.
"Thanks, but it's nothing, seeing as I grew up there." becoming a bit embarrassed, I averted my gaze from the girl.
"H-how long did you l-live there?"
"About five to six years at least. I came here for middle school, though." Our conversation was starting to drag out a bit too long, so I decided to start wrapping this up. Though Tanaka was starting to make this hard, her curiosity was very clear on her face.
Standing up, I stretched my back, ignoring her curious gaze. Groaning, I said, "Ugh, Let's start heading back to the classroom. I'll pay you for the bread when we get back." Pointing my grin towards her, I offered her a hand which she gratefully took as I pulled her up from the bench.
"N-no, please. D-don't worry about it!" Tanka insisted.
"No, I insist. I would rather not be indebted to someone." I smiled at her which she slowly backed down to.
The next few moments were filled with silence, peaceful silence. Oh, how I wish that would've lasted longer. Because once we reached the doors of our class, there she was with her entourage chatting among each other. Immediately the smile on my face turned into a frown and I groaned silently.
Ignoring the crowd, I simply walked to my desk and searched for my wallet. Tanka was behind me as I crouched down next to my bag.
"Right! Tanaka-san, why don't we exchange our numbers, too?" I stood up with my phone and wallet in hand and turned to face Tanaka only to find not just her but the one person I didn't know how to face.
"Hello." She stood there with a stupid smile plastered on her face. I froze as she stood in front of me, now I could see her silver eyes as clear as day, " I've been going around individually introducing myself to everyone, but I hadn't gotten the chance to talk to you before you left the room."
Keeping my stiff neutral expression, I said, "Is that so?" I masked my emotions with a disinterested facade.
"I'm Nanami Mio. Nice to meet you..?" She tilted her head as she awaited my introduction. The girl who I wanted to find as my rival now stood before me, yet I didn't know what to feel.
"Chinatsu Asuka."
"It's nice to meet you, Chinatsu-san!" Nanami flashed her stupid grin. "I hope we get along the rest of the year."
A warmth spread through my face, I simply frowned, "Don't expect much, Nanami-san. I'll be taking that number one spot in no time." I grinned trying to shake off my flusteredness with a confident facade.
Amusement spread through her face, "I'll like to see you try, Chinatsu-san~" Her grin widened into a smirk.
"No worries, I'll knock you off your high horse in no time. We'll see who's grinning then." I walked off taunting the girl, returning to Tanaka back to my neutral expression.
"Now, here's the money I owe you," I placed the amount of money in her hand, "and I was wondering if we could exchange our contact info?"
"O-oh! O-of course!" Tanaka smiled gleefully. Tapping our phones together, they made a dinging noise signaling the successful transfer. Her smile was contagious and I couldn't help, but smile, too.
"Why don't we hang out sometime?" I offered.
"A-anytime is fine for me!" She immediately agreed. I couldn't help, but grin even wider. "We'll plan it some other time." She nodded in agreement.
In the corner of my eye, I caught Nanami Mio smiling, her gaze directed toward me. Raising my eyebrows at her, I looked at her puzzled wondering why she was looking at me only for her to simply wave at me with a grin. I rolled my eyes at the girl, diverting my attention elsewhere.
The bell rang over our heads, signaling us to return to our seats for class. I turned to Tanaka saying, "I'll talk to you later."
"R-right." She responded as we walked off.
Currently, I stood in front of an elementary school while listening to music with my earbuds plugged in as I waited for that child to come out. She was always a curious child. With her bright chocolate-colored eyes, she always seemed to stare at me peculiarly.
Other children were walking out of the school and no sooner did I feel a tug on my sleeve. Looking at the source, I found that child with her big bright eyes and her brown bob cut.
"Asuka-nee…" she murmured my name.
Softly patting her head, I said while taking my earbud off to hear the child, "Hey, Yuzuki-chan. Ready?"
Yuzuki opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted. "Chie-san!" The child sent me an apologetic gaze, before turning to the source. I watched as she ran over to another girl and conversed with her, a small smile plastered on her face.
When I was a kid, I was always on my own. But back then I wanted to be better than everyone, no one was "good enough" to be my friend either that or they were too "normal". Always the kid that was disliked for being "too over herself". I get that I was a bit extreme and arrogant, but once I found that no one wanted to be my friend, I realized that the one in the wrong was me.
That child had finally parted with her friend and was currently running towards me. She smiled gleefully at me as she took my hand, "Asuka-nee, I'm ready now."
Nodding, I started walking on as I explained to her, "I need to go grocery shopping on the way back, so we're heading to the grocery store first."
"Can we get pudding?" Yuzuki begged me as she used her puppy eyes on me.
Sighing, I reluctantly gave in, "…fine." Out of happiness, she jumped into my arms and hugged me. A bit surprised, I stumbled but regained my footing. Patting her on the back softly, I held her up with my other hand.
"…can we stay like this, Asuka-nee?" Yuzuki murmured in my ear as she clung to my neck. Even though she was already ten years old, she still wanted to do these kinds of things. Although as a kid, I was never very intimate, so I don't really understand the joy of it.
"Alright, but only for a bit, till we get to the store. Okay, Yuzuki-chan?" I hummed a bit.
"Okay…" Judging by her voice, I could tell she was pouting and I chuckled.
I couldn't help but smile at the child. She wasn't overly excited like other kids, always full of energy. If anything she was a refreshing presence. Something like a cool breeze relaxing you on a warm, sunny day.
Yuzuki was always a quiet child, but she easily expressed her feelings through actions. Over time though she has gotten comfortable enough with me to be able to speak her mind freely. Even if we aren't blood-related, she's the closest thing I could have to a little sister.
After returning from the grocery store, I entered the Chie Residence along with Yuzuki. It was a pretty large house, that was modern compared to my house which was an old traditional Japanese home. The Chie Residence, however, wasn't cold and lonely, but rather comfy and warm. Or perhaps it's because of the company.
I placed the groceries that needed to be cold in the fridge, and in hand, I had the pudding cups.
I handed one to Yuzuki and said, "Don't tell your parents or we'll be in big trouble." smiling, I held a finger to my lips.
She giggled as she nodded in agreement, "Alright, Asuka-nee!"
Yuzuki sat in between my legs as we ate our treats on the couch and watched TV. We often sat together like this and it had become the norm. The child seemed to like her "cushions'' or more specifically my chest. I have to say, I have a decent size.
The pudding was soft and sweet with a very slight bitter taste. I prefer bitter things over sweet, so I ate the top of the pudding first before consuming the rest. Yuzuki always called me weird for eating my pudding that way, but I'm the kind of person who eats my favorite food first.
The TV displayed a kid's anime about magical girls, what was its name? Precure? Something along those lines. It's been airing for quite some time, maybe I watched it as a kid, too. Although as the kid I was, It's unlikely that I even watched TV. I always found joy in books and imagining scenarios.
Yuzuki sat up from my lap as she went to throw away her cup. I quickly called the girl before she took off, "Ah, wait. Throw mine away, too," without much resistance, she simply grabbed the cup from my hands, "Thanks."
"Yeah…"
I could hear the sounds of Yuzuki's footsteps as she rustled around in the kitchen, the TV quietly playing in the background. These peaceful times always put me in a sense of euphoria. After being stressed all day due to a certain someone. This was nice. Peaceful, leisurely, relaxing around the house.
If it were a normal day, I would've been studying, but it was only the first day of school and we hadn't even started learning anything. And because of that, here I was, sitting on the couch with all the free time in the world.
My mind drifted off as I thought of my childhood. I wondered, how did I ever pass time before? As the person I was before, it was likely I mostly spent my time studying or reading books. But what had I done other than that? I had no friends… no people to hang out with, so it was practically impossible for me to be playing around like any other child. The more and more I thought about it, the more I realized I couldn't remember almost anything. My mind just seemed to draw a blank.
"Asuka-nee?" I turned my head to find Yuzuki standing next to me, a worried expression plastered on her face. Her eyebrows furrowed together as her brown orbs stared into my jades. "Are you okay?"
I smiled at her, "I'm fine?" confused at why she asked such a question.
Seemingly reading my mind, she explained, "S-sorry, it's just you seem…a bit out of it?"
"Is that so? I guess I was reminiscing." lying back, I sank into the couch with my knees curled to my chest. I could feel Yuzuki sit down near my feet at the edge of the couch. The room got quiet once more as the only sounds seemed to be our breathing and the TV in the background.
In the distance, a clear distinct sound of a lock turning managed to reach our ears even at the distance we were from the door. This mansion was large and in the silence I was surprised that we could hear the door from there. Yuzuki instantly got up from the couch and started hastily walking towards the door.
"I'm home!"
There in the doorway stood a woman with long wavy brown hair and similarly colored eyes that had subtle tired bags underneath. She greeted us with a kind smile and instantly I saw Yuzuki's face light up with a smile.
"Welcome home." The child walked closer to the older woman, waiting for her to take her shoes off to hug her. She was Yuzuki's mother and a friend of mine. I always wondered how my mother and she became friends when they were so different.
She kissed Yuzuki on the forehead before addressing me, "Asuka-chan, thank you for taking care of Yuzu for me."
"It's the least I could do, after what you've done for me." I simply smiled at the woman, "Yuzuki-chan and I picked up the groceries you asked for on the way back."
"Ah, thanks a lot. I'll get dinner started soon, so please rest." She started making her way down the hall before saying, "Otou-san said that he would be a bit late, so we could start eating before him."
Yuzuki seemed to deflate a bit, but she still responded, "...Alright."
"Ah, that's right. Will you be having dinner with us, Asuka-chan?" The older woman stopped and turned to me with a kind smile.
"Yes, if that's alright with you."
"Of course, of course. Asuka-chan is always welcome. But you know the deal," She grinned at me, "Next time you're going to cook for us."
I sighed a little with a weary smile, "Alright, it's a promise."
After having dinner with the Chie duo, I left their residence with a box of leftovers for my lunch. Chie-san aka Yuzuki's mother insisted I take some of the leftovers. They're too kind. They take care of me as their own, love me like their own, and treat me as their own.
When I first brought it up with my parents about living in Japan, the Chie's instantly agreed to take care of me. I was only twelve years old, just starting middle school and I needed someone to take care of me or at the very least make sure I was still alive. Our family residence in Japan still stood and was within walking distance of the Chie Residence, so I practically lived with them for the first few years.
The Chinatsu Residence, my family home, was still maintained by maids who occasionally came to check on the house. Although I practically never ran into them. The maids always seemed to come in during school hours, perhaps it was to avoid me.
By now, it was sunset and the sky was a colorful ombre of orange and pink. It was beautiful yet felt empty at the same time.
My feet had subconsciously brought me to the very doorstep of my residence and there stood my empty lifeless house before my eyes. Its old traditional look was in its own way beautiful and among the neighborhood of modern houses, it was unique.
I slid open the door and entered the quiet house. The lights were off as expected and I mumbled under my breath, not expecting any response, "…I'm home…"
AN: To those who read this, lucky you. You have reached a draft of this story (1.23.23)