F*cked up Reunion

Chapter 2

Two weeks of hit or miss photo assignments in New York is now complete as Lydia boards the plane to Peaceful Pines. The forty-five minute flight felt extremely long; not because their was a chance Lydia may run into the fiery red haired demon her dad married, but because the drunk airline captain had the plane coasting on auto-pilot as he flirted with everyone on board. "That's what I get for buying a last minute ticket on " Lydia thought and then became disgusted when the pilot threw up on the aisle, and then passed out. "Oh boy, I guess that means we're going to die" Lydia though sarcastically but then huffed a smile "Thanks for doing me the favor ole drunk captain"

"Don't worry folks ," The Lead Flight Attendant spoke "I know how to fly" then pulled a bright yellow 'How to fly a Boeing 707 for Dummies' book for her gym bag.

"Aw Dammit," Lydia cursed under her breath "I don't wanna be a plane wreck roaming the Neitherworld." She spat in thought, seeing many types of ghost who floated about during her youth; it was a sight that wouldn't be forgotten. But surprisingly the plane landed safe and sound, soon pulling into the gateway. "Dammit," Lydia cursed under her breath once more "I survived." She said then shook her head "Next time I won't be so picky."

Peaceful Pines didn't have many on-line motel reservation links and the motel that allowed phone arrangements were overly expensive bed and breakfast mansions on the historic side of town. Lydia settled at a rental trailer park, a site primary for campers and anglers; of course they're a few trailers people purchased to live permanently, but they're just harmless elders, single moms, and that one middle aged guy who scratched his balls on the front porch.

Lydia toured the two trailers in her price rage. The first trailer was clean, but there was something unsettling about it; it made her feel caged in. The second trailer; a double wide, was also fairly decent with its wood paneled walls and its old striped 70's polyester sofa made for a vintage theme Lydia was comfortable with; but she wasn't sure what to think when she noticed the large mirrored ceiling which reflected over the bed. "I'll take this one." She told the park manager and he gave her the keys.

With a long weekend ahead of her, Lydia began shopping. She was never one to be bedazzled by the corporate store chains and tried to avoid them whenever possible, but even in the country side it seems the mom and pop businesses she grew fond of have been demolished and taken over.

Afterwards Lydia went to the park and was relieved to see her beloved spooky tree still stayed strongly rooted to the ground. "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice" She called but still no reply "What happened to you Beej?" She questioned looking to the sky.

"Oh, you're back," A voice spoke along with a breeze and Lydia turned around to see who spoke, and found it was friend and classmate Bertha "Ever since you left, I came to this place everyday after school hoping you would come back. Then after I graduated from college I still came during the holidays." She said then looked to her friend "Why didn't you at least say 'Good-bye'?"

Lydia was staggered; before her stood a well developed Bertha with long hippie hair, a lacy white tunic, and torn but still stylish light denim flares; and not the braces wearing boy crazy girl she grew to know. "There was no time for 'Good-byes' and even if I had the time I was never good with 'Good-byes' in the first place. And who told I ran away? I didn't run away. I was kicked out."

"Well your step-mother –" Bertha began to explain but was cut off.

"You don't even have to finish that sentence… I think I know the rest." Lydia said.

Bertha wanted to say anything to comfort Lydia but only knew half the chapter of Lydia's step-mother hell, so said nothing and gave her a hug " "No matter what others think, I'm glad to see you again."

Lydia and Bertha sit for a while by the spooky tree reminiscing old times; the Halloween dance and the shocked reaction of others when Mr. Beetleman showed as Lydia's date, Bertha's obsession with military school jock Douglas Scott, and how Prudence's campaign for school president got mixed into the campaign run for mayor of Peaceful Pines… And current times; Lydia's two daughters and odd roommate, Bertha's divorce and loss of a son after birth then a journey into the neo-hippy lifestyle, and Claire Brewster locked away in a psychiatric hospital.

"Whuuuut?" Lydia awed in shock, looking with widened eyes. "Why?"

"I didn't really care to find out," Bertha replied bluntly "Rumor around town is she still here."

"Do you visit her?" Lydia asked, knowing how much Bertha adored Claire from afar and the envy of her popularity.

"That bitch can go fuck herself" Bertha said, looking toward the hospital with such hatred and disgust. Lydia knew Bertha wasn't one to cuss and figured Claire did something over the edge awful. "Sorry," Bertha said looking to Lydia remorsefully "I didn't mean to cuss."

"It's ok," Lydia accepted and walked Bertha to her car.

On the way back to trailer park, Lydia made plans to visit the Neitherworld but curiosity got the better of her as she passed the psychiatric hospital. From the outside, the hospital looked like a large stone mansion secluded deep in the woods with a long narrow roadway that lead there. "Oh what the hell," Lydia said aloud, buying into her curious though "at least a can get a taste of what's to come before the actual reunion."

Lydia signed in, got her bags checked by security, and went through the scanner before entering the main lobby. The first floor parlor, which was mostly filled with Alzheimer's patients, was quite extravagant with its shiny cherry wood floors, Victorian décor, and gold plated elevators at the end of the hall. The second floor wasn't the same as the first; it had pastel colored wall paper with furniture to match, just like the living rooms seen in many 1980's soap operas.

The hall pass lead Lydia to room 20, where Claire Brewster sat in front of the tv happily singing along with the theme of the program "… Til one day when the lady met this fella, and they knew it was much more than a hunch, that this group must somehow form a family, and that's the way they became the Brady Bunch. The Brady Bunch. The Brady Bunch. That's the way they became the Brady Bunch." Lydia raised a brow and then cleared her throat loud enough for Claire to hear. The blonde turned around and smiled as she got up from her seat. "Oh, finally…" Claire said giving Lydia a hug and kiss, and long sensual French kiss.

When the kiss broke, Lydia was shocked. Her feet felt as if they were rooted to the floor and she could barely say anything, but tried away "Do… Do you even know me?"

"Hmm…" Claire moaned, probably mellowed out from after lunch medications "I knew you the moment I looked at you, Lydia Deetz. You still wear smoky charcoal eye shadow and shiny black lipstick as you did many years ago." She said and then with a finger tip smeared a reminder of black off her faintly pink painted lips and looked at it. "It's still a cheap brand of lipstick." Then finally poked at Lydia's stomach "Gained a little weight I see,"

Lydia, who was still having an embarrassing 'battle the Budge' after pregnancy, shied away with a frown "You leave my stomach out of this."

"Ok…" Claire simple said, gently urging Lydia to face her "I'll pay attention to your lips instead" and then came another French kiss but this time longer and wetter than the first. Lydia couldn't shake it; she just couldn't shake the shock this blonde, this infamous spoiled rotten conceited brat, was kissing her.

When the kiss broke, Claire gazed so admiring "Oh Lydia, I been hoping someone, anyone, would finally come to visit me; and after six years of waiting, it's you who comes. I'm glad, so glad." She said then held Lydia tight.

Lydia has never been so confused in all her life. "Hey Lydia," Her own conscious yelled "The blonde is kissing you, wake up. Earth to Lydia… Lydia! The blonde is… Oh my god, the blonde is fondling our boobs." Lydia blinked and finally came back to reality "Whu… Whu… Why?"

But before Claire could say anything the orderly came into the room "Visiting hours is over ladies" He informed as he does everyday at 7:30pm.

Claire held Lydia tight as if she never wanted to let go "Please promise to visit tomorrow. I want company."

"Aww… Look at those poor blue puppy dog eyes. C'mon, you know you're going to agree to it. C'mon… she's in the hospital." Lydia's conscious said and the words "Ok, I promise" came from Lydia's mouth. As Lydia walked the hospital, she smacked her own forehead "Damn it, why did I say that? And what the hell just happened back there? Man, I always end up in the weirdest stuff. Oh well... time for a shower and a trip to the Neitherworld."