Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki or the characters.

Chapter 4: The reason why

The evening found Hakkai standing in front of Koumyo's kitchen stove and preparing dinner. The older man had realized once they got inside that he had forgotten to go grocery shopping. The way he had stopped in the middle the kitchen and rubbed his head reminded Hakkai there was more to this man then could be seen on the outside. He never took Sanzo's father to be bit of an . . . Air head. Sanzo and Hakkai took the car to town and got groceries. Gojyo stayed behind with Koumyo and got their rooms ready. Gojyo had protested about them having separate rooms, but Hakkai reminded him that they were in the man's house and not to disrespect him and respect his wishes. If he didn't want the three spending the night in the same room that was his choice, lovers or not.

They had returned with groceries, and Hakkai offered to cook the meal. He decided on gumbo and biscuits while the others prepared the table. Hakkai was happy to show off his cooking skills and was pleased to see Koumyo enjoying his meal. Sanzo became a little less quiet but still slightly reserved. They sat at the table for hours and chatted, Koumyo having broken out the wine and beer for Gojyo. They talked long into the night when it seemed the clock it almost hit somewhere in the morning. Hakkai grew fascinated with Koumyo's stories of his younger detective days. He even, much to the embarrassment of Sanzo, broke out the photo album. It seemed even as a child Sanzo had always kept that scowl.

When Hakkai had entered the home for the first time, he was greeted with a large entranceway with dual staircases. It seemed the real estate business had gone well for Koumyo after retirement. The home was lavish and luxurious, and it was hard to believe that only one man lived there. Childhood pictures of Sanzo hung in the hallway leading to the kitchen on the right. One family portrait was against the wall just before the kitchen. Koumyo stood next to a slightly shorter woman, her hair the same golden hue that Sanzo held. This woman whom Sanzo could not remember, Kouran. His mother who died when he was young. In her arms was a young baby, who could only be his blond-haired lover. Koumyo had not changed much in it seemed the aging suited him well. By the looks of both in the picture, he never doubted that Sanzo was truly loved by them. It still mystified him why Sanzo seemed so reserved about coming home.

After they had talked to the night, Gojyo not able to stand, needed to be escorted to his room. Koumyo helped him with that while Sanzo helped Hakkai clean up the kitchen. Like the usual at home routine, Hakkai washed the dishes while Sanzo dried and put them away. When he saw Koumyo, take Gojyo to one of the guest rooms, he decided to speak.

"Sanzo, I still don't understand why you didn't want to come home. He seems like a very nice man. You didn't think we would embarrass you or something did you?" Hakkai asked as he handed him the last plate. Sanzo shook his head but didn't look at Hakkai.

"It's my problem," Sanzo said cryptically.

"If it's something I can help with, I really wish you to tell me. I'm growing tired of all the secrecy. He doesn't seem mad about me, about what we share with Gojyo. Were you afraid he'd judge you for being in a relationship with two men?" Hakkai asked him. Sanzo closed his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. He rotated his neck and shrugged his shoulders clearly showing signs of fatigue from either the conversation or the traveling to get here.

"Hakkai, it's between me and him. When I got him alone, I'll worry about it then," he said.

They spoke no more as Koumyo came back to the kitchen and let out a yawn.

"Oh thank you boys. You didn't have to clean up the kitchen. I was going to worry about it tomorrow." Hakkai spoke up.

"It's no problem. It's our daily routine at home. Gojyo always knocks off early, I think it's to get out of doing dishes," Hakkai smiled.

"He also must've thought I was Genjyo. When I tried to put him to bed, he kept trying to touch my ass," Koumyo said with a strange smile on his face. Sanzo made a strained noise, and Hakkai almost burst out in laughter.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry about that! It's a drunken routine he has; his hands wander," Hakkai said in embarrassment, looking to the side. He heard Koumyo laugh until he gave out another yawn.

"Well I think it's time for this old man to go to bed. Let's talk more the next day. I wanted to take you boys on a hike through the woods to see the mountains tomorrow. I hope the mountain air helps Gojyo's impending hangover." He laughed as he turned from the kitchen.

"Dad," Sanzo suddenly spoke up. Hakkai turned to Sanzo in surprise. He had not heard the blonde refer to his father as dad since they arrived. It seemed to take Koumyo by surprise as well, and he stopped on a dime to turn a look at his son. Sanzo's eyes, for some reason, were intense and Koumyo only relaxed his figure to smile at his son.

"We'll talk more tomorrow. We still have to discuss something personal. Nevertheless, for now, let's just get some sleep. I'm still trying to cope with the fact that you're here," Koumyo said with a hint of sadness. Sanzo face was unreadable as Koumyo turned to walk out of the kitchen and into his room on the other side of the house. Hakkai watched Sanzo for a moment before he gently set a hand on his shoulder. He leaned up carefully and slowly to give Sanzo a chaste kiss on the cheek before he made his way to his room on the second floor.

"Sleep well Sanzo. I'm sure whatever you have to say, will be heard tomorrow. Gojyo and I will see you in the morning," was all the brunette said before he turned to leave the kitchen. Sanzo was still silent as he left and opened the door to his room. Stepping into the guests' bathroom he turned on the light and looked at himself in the mirror. He shook his head as he met his own reflection.

"I just wish he'd tell me, I only wish he'd let me help him," he whispered to his mirror self. Quickly brushing his teeth and leaving the bathroom, Hakkai opened his bag and put on his pajamas. He had grown so used to sleeping with Sanzo and Gojyo in his bed. He hoped he would be able to fall asleep alone tonight. Slipping under the covers, he found himself exhausted from both the trip and the emotions coming off of his blonde-haired lover. Whatever was going on between father and son, he hoped he could be revolved, and he hoped Sanzo could put it past him and be happy. Feeling his eyes droop, Hakkai snuggled into his pillows and listened to the nature outside his window. Not used to the sound of crickets and owls, Hakkai quickly fell asleep with the help of the night air.

He suddenly woke with a gasp and took deep breaths. Sitting up in bed, it took Hakkai a moment to remember where he was. He looked out his window as his chest continued to rise and fall. He was sweating, which was weird considering the room was so cold. Lifting the covers off himself, he sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his head. Licking his dry lips the taste of stale alcohol made him cringe. He had a slight headache and needed to wash it out with some cold water. Getting up shakily from the bed, he listened to see if anyone else was awake in the house. Everything was still quiet. Looking to the clock above the dresser, he saw it was almost three in the morning. It had been such a long time since he had woken up at this time. His insomnia had been long put behind him. Rubbing his face as he went to his door he walked quietly down the hallway. He could still hear crickets singing outside the house as he passed by the hall windows to the kitchen.

Going to the sink, he found the clean glasses and turned on the tap, filling it to the brim. He quickly downed the glass of water, inwardly rejoicing at the coldness hitting his throat and moving down to his stomach. No longer, tasting the dry stale flavor of beer and wine, Hakkai refilled the glass for second go. Shaking his head, he was grateful that the dryness was gone in his stomach was happily full of cold water.

"Much better," Hakkai whispered into the dark. While he was alone with his thoughts, Hakkai looked back to the picture on the wall of Sanzo and his father. It was a rare sight, having at most seen Sanzo ever smirk or scowl, a smile. A true smile was foreign to Hakkai. He had only seen it a few times, back with the rainy-day case was still open. When he was lying in his hospital bed just coming out from his dream and recovering from being stabbed, the man had genuinely smiled, and it was beautiful. It was different from what Hakkai had ever noticed, and he was reminded why he fell in love with the two detectives. Everything they had gone through, everything they had seen together, witnessed and fought through. All the pain Hakkai had felt and how that smile made it all go away. How even sometimes, very rarely, Gojyo managed to wrangle out a true emotion from the blond.

What could they possibly be fighting about? Koumyo sounds like such a loving father. I don't understand why Sanzo is so reluctant to be here.

His thoughts were suddenly pushed away as a pair of hands grasped his hips. He jumped but didn't turn around as a warm chest pressed against his back. Hands squeezed his hips and Hakkai relaxed, knowing immediately whom they belong to by the size. Only one of his lovers had such large hands and long fingers.

"Gojyo, you scared me half to death. I thought you'd be out a little longer because of your hangover," Hakkai said with a slight laugh. The hands didn't move, and Hakkai used his own hands to grab the wrists and move them up to the arms that held him. A pair of lips kissed the back of his neck as hot breath traveled down the column. The gentle nipping of teeth got it just behind his ear, and he couldn't help but moan. He continued feeling up the arms that held him as a mouth worked near his neck. He stopped a moment later when something didn't feel right. The hands were large, but the arms weren't as long as Gojyo's. Squeezing the arms once he turned quickly to see who was behind him. Hakkai gasped in horror and covered his mouth as he nearly backed himself into the wall near the fridge.

"What? Why . . . " Hakkai was speechless.

Koumyo stood there, arms still up from where Hakkai had been in them. His gaze was calm and calculating and the look alone set Hakkai's heart into an over beat. A sudden rush of embarrassment coated Hakkai stomach as he struggled to find words of what to say.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were . . . I thought Gojyo was. Why were you . . . ?" Hakkai asked in both embarrassment and confusion. Koumyo didn't answer him as his eyes turned pleasant.

"Ah, it's all right. No need to be embarrassed. It's just us," the man said. Hakkai was frozen in place. He blinked a few times in confusion as his eyes took in the man.

"What are you doing?" He asked again. Koumyo didn't answer him as he approached him swiftly. Arms were raised, and hands were pressed to either side of the wall near Hakkai's head. The brunette couldn't move as Koumyo brought his face closer and breathed hot air across his face.

"Come on now, don't be shy. Why stop what we started so far?" His voice whispered, taking soothing undertones. Before Hakkai could open his mouth, a hot pair of lips captured his. His eyes widened, and his heart and body froze as Koumyo kissed him, pushing him against the wall. Hakkai suddenly woke up from his daydream as the lips pressed harder and a tongue came out to touch his lower lip. Arms encircled him, just as he had awoken and tried to flail his own arms. He tried to make a noise but Koumyo muffled it by kissing him again. The grip was relentless as he felt hands begin to dive under his pants line by his lower back. A knee pushed its way between his legs and gently raised to press into his groin. Swept with nausea and fear, Hakkai did the only thing he could think of.

He bit him.

He clenched his teeth down on Koumyo's lower lip causing the man to pull back quickly and release him. Raising his arm, Hakkai reacted on instinct and formed a fist. He brought it forward as fast as he could and slammed into the side of Koumyo's face. The man backed up and hit the table with his back, raising his hand and touching his now sore jaw. His hair had come undone from his ponytail and looked ruffled while his cheek began to turn red. Hakkai took deep breaths, trying to cope with what just happened.

Was this what Sanzo was worried about? Was this why he was so reluctant to come home? Because he knew about the monster that lay under the surface of such a well-respected man?

Hakkai suddenly felt angry. He felt an anger well up inside of him he never thought he could feel. Clenching his teeth, he stared Koumyo down with the heat of a glare, feeling his old self start to emerge.

"How dare you," Hakkai hissed at him. His green eyes turned sharp as he stared the other man down. Koumyo still didn't react to the anger, but he did smile a bit.

"My, how feisty. Not what I expected at all. The last person I did this to succumb quite easily. I didn't expect you to be different. Sanzo chose very well who to place his heart with," Koumyo only continued to smile. Confusion wracked Hakkai's frame, and he struggled to make sense what was going on.

"What are you talking about? Who?" Hakkai asked him desperately. The house continued to remain quiet and Koumyo only rubbed his sore jaw. Hakkai dared not move or make another sound, fearful that he would wake Sanzo or Gojyo. He couldn't imagine the scene, Sanzo staring his father down knowing what the man had done by kissing him. It was a scene Hakkai knew would fill Sanzo with anger and sadness.

"The last man Genjyo brought to me and claimed to love," Koumyo finally said into the silence of the kitchen. Hakkai relaxed his body but only slightly. He watched Koumyo get up from the table and walked around it to grab a chair. He motioned to Hakkai in the chair across from him.

"You can sit. I promise not to do anything. I feel it easier to talk this way don't you?" He asked. Hakkai remained extremely wary as he only glared at Koumyo.

"I feel safer by the wall over here. You'll have to excuse me, getting molested wasn't exactly on my trip checklist," he said angrily. Koumyo nodded his head as if agreeing and sat down.

"If it's what you want, I will not argue. You have every reason to think ill of me. However, let me tell you at least why," he said. Hakkai nodded slowly and waited for the man to start. Koumyo took out his hair and Hakkai watched as blond locks fell to his shoulders. Fixing up his hair quickly, he tied it neatly back together and looked at Hakkai with saddened purple eyes.

"My son fell in love with a boy not much older than himself back in high school. At the time, Genjyo was very afraid of me finding out that he preferred men to women. I wasn't disturbed, not in the slightest. Genjyo always had a hard time making friends. I can't remember a single one he ever had while growing up," he started, looking at the far wall. Hakkai's eyes softened only slightly as he remembered the time early in the morning Sanzo had sat on the couch with him, both staring at the picture of Kanan, he had. Sanzo had told him how he didn't have many friends, that he had spent sleepless nights waiting for his father to come home, safe and sound from the job.

"He had become attached to this one boy and dated him for quite a while. He finally went past his nervousness and brought him home to meet me. He seemed charming. He liked my son and treated him well. Even so, when you're a detective heavily trained like myself, you learn to read people very well. And I could read that little fucker better than he ever thought he could see himself in the mirror," Koumyo suddenly said with a clipped tone. Very slowly Hakkai moved forward and grabbed a kitchen chair. He sat down across from Koumyo just as the man raised his eyes from the table to look at him. Hakkai remained neutral as he stared the other man down.

"What happened?" He asked of the man. Koumyo blinked once before he raised a hand and rubbed his sore jaw.

"Late in the night, much like this, he was in the kitchen getting a drink, just like you. I had to test my theory, to see if this boy truly did love my son the way he said he did. At the time, Genjyo was easy to trust people in order to make friends. I cornered the young man and kissed him. He didn't pull away from me," Koumyo said. Hakkai felt his chest tighten at the sadness in the man's gaze and only knew the story would turn worse.

"Genjyo heard the sounds and came down from his room. He saw the way I had been tangled with the younger man. I had planned to stop much sooner before Genjyo woke up, to ask the man to leave and never bother my son. However, I'm afraid Genjyo saw it in a different light. I imagine it must've broken his heart. The first person he ever opened up to, tangled with his own father on the kitchen counter," Koumyo finished. Hakkai nervously played with his hands on the table top.

"So you aimed to prove, this man was no good for your son? But in the process, you destroyed Sanzo's trust in you?" Hakkai pointed out. Koumyo slowly nodded his head. He leaned back in his chair as he looked to the outside windows at the still partial moon.

"I aimed to prove to Sanzo that this boy had no true love for him. Everything he had told me that day about how wonderful my son was, was a lie. I didn't plan for him to think I was trying to steal him away." Koumyo looked at Hakkai then and tilted his head.

"Genjyo left that same month, and I haven't seen him in person in years. It seems any trust he had in me vanished along with him. It was only recently he called, maybe not even a year ago to tell me he had hooked up with Gojyo. That there was no love, and that I didn't have to fear about him falling in love again in order to get his heartbroken. I felt great regret, and saddened to admit after that phone call I broke down. Trying to prove my point to my son, cost me, his trust and the fact that he could never love someone else without being afraid that it would be taken away. I made a grave mistake that day."

Hakkai didn't know what to say. He said the only thing he could think of.

"I love Sanzo," he said through the darkness. Koumyo sat up a little straighter in his chair.

"I would be dead if it wasn't for him. Both he and Gojyo opened my eyes. I was a lonely evidence clerk hanging off the memories of my deceased sister. I woke up almost every night from nightmares and insomnia. I had no clue that when those two walked into my life, I'd fall in love with them," Hakkai continued to say. He closed his eyes and a gentle smile played across his face. He opened them back up and smiled sadly at Koumyo.

"I can tell that you love your son so much. But he's fearful of you. He's frightened you; ll do the exact same thing all over again to him just to prove a point. He doesn't know if he should forgive you or thank you for opening his eyes to people. However, now he finds an extreme distrust in them because of you. I feel fortunate, and I feel lucky to have earned Sanzo's trust even after what you did to him." Hakkai's face went serious as he stared the other down.

"I would die before I ever hurt Sanzo."

Koumyo remained speechless as he watched Hakkai's face. He closed his own eyes as he relaxed into his chair.

"Forgive me, I just wanted to make sure Sanzo could put his trust in you. I'm afraid my methods aren't very orthodox are they?" He said with a shake to his head. Hakkai reached across the table and gently touched Koumyo's hand, petting it softly.

"No, and you need to work on that. You need to talk to Sanzo. It bothers me to see him so withdrawn at home. He's very lively, he's warm, and if he ever caught me saying this, he would probably glare at me but . . . He's told me he loves me, Gojyo too," Hakkai said kindly. Koumyo raised his hand and gently encased it in Hakkai's. He squeezed it once before he risedfrom the table.

"I'm glad to know what kind of person you are Hakkai. Thank you for letting me put my trust in you, thank you for bringing me my son," he said with a slight bow. Getting up from the table, Hakkai nodded back.

"Let's talk more in the morning, over breakfast."

TBC