Princess of the Sea

By: CyanideMuffins7

Chapter 29: Left for Dead

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Hunger Games, the trilogy or any of the characters Suzanne Collins has created. I only take credit for the characters I have created and the plot I have made.

The crowd goes berserk, stomping their feet and screaming as Cesar introduces me as the victor of the Seventy First Hunger Games. The lights are on me and my dress has a warming glow to it. I look around the audience of Capitol citizens, adorned in their odd and vibrant colored clothes and hair. I just wish I could have killed them in the arena instead of other girls and boys like myself. I'm glad they don't realize what I'm thinking about them now. I look above the audience to a balcony in the back, holding all of the Gamemakers. Arrogant.

Cesar guides me to a tall ornate throne where I gracefully take my seat. I sit with my legs together and my hands on my lap. My face stays neutral, like I don't care that I won. As Cesar cracks a few jokes, I look over to Finnick. He was smiling at me while his eyes were telling me to smile. I look away from him and I manage to plaster a smile for the cameras to see. I need to pretend I have come out of the Games like I came in, undamaged.

After Cesar was done warming up the crowd, the lights dim and he gestures to the large screen with the Capitol seal. This is what I know I'm not ready for, to relive everything again. Three hours of sitting here, watching as I see everyone die before me. They usually take the footage of the Victor's journey to victory into their own highlights. Mine is a tale of determination.

They first show me at reaping day with Hei, and then the chariot rides with Hei, our training scores and the interviews. I won the crowd over with my vague and mysterious answers and my looks. I feel almost captivated like the audience, but I realize that we are two different people now. She was the girl who came in who didn't want to conform to what the Capitol wanted her to do, but I'm the girl who had conformed for survival.

Then I see Hei's interview over again. I watch as he gives Cesar a look that says, "Don't ask that question" or "I want to kill you". Seeing this Hei and the kind Hei seem like two different people. But the last question Cesar asks Hei is, "What's the most important thing to you?" I watch closely as Hei looks away from Cesar and towards a certain spot in the crowd. They take shots around the center from the Gamemakers' balcony to where the Tributes are waiting and watching. He looks away from whatever he's looking at and back to Cesar, "To kill."

Then it goes into the Games. The only extended non-highlight of me is the District 7 boy, Gray as he's walking through the swamp, thin as a twig. He begins to swat away mosquitos or flies until he begins to eat them. Gray was the first one to go insane in such a short time. This goes on for five minutes until a Keiner slowly approaches Gray as a tall, thin woman that I can only assume it's his mother. He runs up to her but the Keiner began to bite into Gray and clawing him up until he lost his appearance as a human. The Keiner leaves his body on the ground and waddles off east. Not a few seconds later, I'm trudging towards Gray until I trip over him.

After that they show me getting struck by lightning and creating my throwing axes, ambushing the career camp and alliancing with Bachus, Wren, Coda and Canon. They really highlight my whole relationship with my allies. A clip goes to Bachus, Wren, Coda and Canon talking to each other while I'm gone. They had a whole plan for me. Not to kill me, but to win.

Then the there's a small segment of the Career camp where I see Lena ordering everyone around Fitz and the District 5 girl to guard the camp while the District 2 girl is looking in the distance with her knife, probably plotting her revenge. Then the camera is on Hei leaning against the Cornucopia with parchment and a piece of charcoal. I know everyone must be wondering what was he writing since he's being so secretive about by writing away from the cameras.

It then switches how I help Coda out of the tree, Bachus and Canon rescuing me from the Keiner and Wren teaching me how to climb a tree.

Everything inside of me begins to shatter like broken glass. I feel like I'm going to cry but I hold back the tears and bottle it inside of me. I can't let the audience, and the Gamemakers see me so weak.

I continue to watch as they show Bachus and I sneaking in the Career camp and stealing their weapons. Then the District 2 girl ambushing our camp, chopping Wren's legs off in a state of madness and carrying her off as Bachus, Coda and Wren return to camp and chase after her. I'm forced to watch everyone die again. Canon and Wren's death brought the whole audience to tears. It would bring me to tears if I could cry.

The footage continues as it shows the hovercraft claw grabbing Coda out my arms, Bachus drowning, Hei kissing me and creating my makeshift harpoon gun.

When it reaches Hei's death, I recognize the girl who screamed for Hei's death to be the girl I am now. She has the look in her eye that she wants to survive, like the way I have now.

It picks up as I kill Omega, camping out, blowing up the supplies in the Cornucopia, getting injected with the Penumbra venom, killing Fitz, and then staggering around before killing Magnus.

There was a close up image of myself staggering off. My skin looked so pale like I've been in the cold for days. My cracked lips were tinted a gray color as well as around my eyes. There were black veins visible on my cheeks as well as the rest of my skin. I looked like I was a walking dead. But as I stumble around, I act like I'm drunk. I look horrid.

Then it comes to the final battle between Lena and me. They play the whole clip without skipping a thing until I spear Lena like a fish. Then I collapse on the ground, going unconscious.

After that the Capitol Seal appears and the anthem plays again. I can hear the audience clapping with a few sobs and everyone, including me, rises. President Snow along with a young girl with short swirly purple hair carrying a red velvet cushion with a golden crown enters the stage.

The applause continues as President Snow takes the crown and places it over my forehead with a smile that could be compared to a serpent's own. I look into his eyes to see the same man that has been haunting my dreams ever since I stepped foot into that arena. He was the one who made me choose. I think everyone, even the whole Capitol fail to realize that he is a puppet master, and all of Panem are his puppets.

Cesar bids everyone a goodnight and reminds everyone to tune in tomorrow for my interview. Damn, I still have to do an interview. I wish I could just skip it but everyone is required to watch my interview.

I just don't know what I'm going to say. I need to mentally prepare myself for that time. After the cameras are off, I'm escorted to the president's mansion for the Victory Banquet. I have to spend a few hours in a large dining hall with Capitol officials and Sponsors. I'm swarmed by each one as they take pictures with me, and compliment my dress and makeup. I know Imogene was one of my sponsors, but she wasn't in sight. I ask one of the other sponsors and said that she couldn't make it since she was working today on an important project.

Personally, I don't think Imogene just didn't want to see me like this. I'm someone different now, and I know she doesn't want to me to think I should blame her for not helping me when I need it.

Once the sun begins to shine through the dining hall's window, we all head back to the Training Center to get some rest. I don't expect myself to fall asleep once I'm in bed—but right as I get under the silk sheets, my eye lids close. But my dream is dark with the hint of static. I can't understand why.

I'm then interrupted by Iza knocking on my door, "Wake up! It's going to be a big day today!" She alerts as she knocks a few times on my door. I groan as I rise from my bed. I get dressed and I'm greeted with a smile by Nimbus with a bowl of oatmeal with blue berries.

I only have a few minutes to eat before my prep team enters. They shoo Nimbus away and get to work on me. I don't talk because I'm still half asleep but Mek, Katarina and Sala-M chatted away for the next few hours.

I'm finished and polished to perfection once Nex enters the room with a vibrant blue dress with light pink designs branching around the dress with a few orange spearheads spotted around the pink. He slips on orange flats on me and adjusts my makeup a bit so my cheeks have a rosy tint to them.

Afterwards he makes sure the dress is brushed clean of wrinkles. I'm slightly taken off guard as he begins to make idle conversation, "Are you nervous?" He asks me brushing my shoulders.

I decide to be honest with Nex, "Yes, a lot." I say while watching Nex brush my dress through the mirror.

"What are you nervous about?"

I look down at the ground, to avoid my mint green eyes looking at me, "I'm fine with questions about the arena, but I just don't want to talk about everyone."

Nex stops what he's doing and motions me over to sit down on my bed. I sit down on the edge, avoiding wrinkling my dress and he looks at me.

"You just don't want to talk about Hei, do you?" He says as his brown eyes colored honesty in them.

Nex knows about Hei? It's not like he displayed it on the cameras, no one knows what was on the letter. Atris must have told Nex about it, or he could read Hei's mind.

Did I just not want to talk about Hei? No, I'm just uncomfortable with it after all that we had been through. I'm just not up for it.

I don't respond and I look away from Nex and down at my hands. Nex lets out a sigh, "It's hard for a boy to confess his feelings to a girl, especially if they don't know what to say to them." He begins.

Now Nex sounds like he's my Dad. "What do you mean?" I ask.

"Sometimes, a boy can go all of his life without saying a word to the girl he loves because he—of all things—is a coward. And that eats them up inside."

I finally look over to Nex, who wasn't even looking at me but his hands like I was. What is he talking about? Nex must have experienced love before with someone else. A Tribute perhaps?

"Who is she?" I ask.

Nex chuckles and stands up, "A girl I met in District 2. I haven't seen her in years."

Before I can talk more, Finnick pops in and insist that I have to make it to my interview. So he escorts me down the hall where the sitting room is located. Alright I just need to prepare myself for any questions. Knowing Cesar, he will help me out from time to time to avoid some questions I can't answer.

There are two red ornate chairs in the sitting room. Behind one of the chairs are vases of white roses with red trims surrounding the chair. Cameras are placed in front of these chairs. Thankfully I have no live audience, except the cameramen and Finnick.

Cesar Flickerman approaches me with a white smile and a warm hug as I enter, "Ah congratulations Pandora. How are you?"

"Fine. I'm just tired though." I say blinking a few times to adjust to the lighting of the sitting room.

"You spent too much time celebrating at the Victory Banquet." He says patting my back, "A girl your age needs all the beauty rest she needs." I can't tell if it's a joke or he's just teasing me.

I take a seat on the red ornate chair surrounded by roses while Cesar sits down on the other. I adjust myself so I'm sitting formally like I see some of the other tributes do when they're sitting.

One of the men behind the cameras counts down backwards and a red light blinks on the camera. I'm being aired across Panem. Once the cameras are turned on, Cesar becomes suave, joking, teasing and even gets a bit choked up in certain situations. Everything becomes a dance. Cesar would say something then I would smoothly reply back.

"Now you surprised the audience by presenting us with your graceful dance when you ambushed the Cornucopia. How did you learn to dance like that?" He asks with a smile.

"I took lessons since I was a kid. I stopped taking it three years ago." I admit while ringing my hands.

Cesar laughs, "Why would you stop!? You were amazing out there. We must have you preform in the Capitol someday!" He insists.

I let out a breathy laugh, "I'll think about it." I say.

Eventually the dance stops, and Cesar begins to ask the difficult questions. The difficult questions that I refuse to answer, "You think so quick on your feet Pandora. What made you think so quickly when you made those weapons?" Cesar asks.

"In certain situations, you have to work with what is around you." I simply respond.

"But you made that harpoon gun spot on. I think you might have had practice before."

I lightly shake my head, "No. Back home I used to make jewelry and other objects and curios out of seashells. Things just come together for me." I comment.

Cesar compliments my creativity, makes a joke then the demanding questions are asked, "Now we all remember when you made an alliance with the Tributes from 11, 7, 3, and 12, what made you think you could trust them?"

I remain calm and keep my mind steady, "They were convincing and worthy assets." I state. That's a lie. You trust them because you believe in their cause. You sound like an ass.

This goes on for quite a bit until I finally hear the question I've been fearing, "So let's go back to the moment when Hei is taken," My fists tighten, "and you find a letter." Cesar looks at the camera, "Now we watched in previous clips he's was always writing down on that thing. My question is what was on that letter?" Cesar asks with a raised eyebrow.

If I tell them, everything changes for everyone. I would have everyone eating from the palm of my hand out of sympathy. But that's not what I want. No one needs to know. I hate sympathy because no one can understand how it felt to read that letter and know his actions.

No one needs to know.

I slowly smile, "It said, win for 4." I glance over to Finnick who is nervously smiling. Does he know something I don't?

Cesar nods and he pursess his lips, "That's very encouraging of him." He comments. He senses my tension and moves on. A few minutes later, the interview begins to wrap up, "Is there anything else you would like to add?" He asks.

I need to make myself strong. I look over to the camera, "Just expect me home soon." I smile.

Cesar finally signs off and it's over. Everyone is crying and hugging each other. Cesar gives me one last hug before I could leave. I want to talk to Finnick, but I can spend time like that on the train.

I go back to my room to collect any things I have. There really isn't anything I don't already have. But something catches my eye. I walk over to the edge of the bed where a small white box with a red velvet ribbon tied on it. Tucked under the ribbon is a folded piece of paper. I unfold it and read the small curvy writing:

I pulled a lot of strings to retrieve this, but I know this is important to you. Open this when you're alone on the train.

-Nex

I hold the box in my hand and shake the box near my ear. There's a slight rattling but I don't know what it is. After I'm done, I'm driven to the station and I board the train along with Finnick and Iza.

The train's engine starts and we begin to descend through a dark tunnel. A few flashes and the starry sky became our landscape. I then join Iza and Finnick in a luxurious feast. I feed myself until my stomach is full and I head back to my room where I change out of my dress and into a tee shirt, pants and a gray jacket. I wipe the makeup off of my face and look back at the girl staring at me. I look like the girl who came into the games with a goal, but in my eyes I'm someone different.

I don't know who I am now. I only wish I can be the person I used to be.

I leave the bathroom and I remember Nex's present. I look over to my dresser where the box sits patiently for me to open it. I take the box, place aside the note Nex wrote for me and undo the velvet bow. I take the top off the box and look inside to see another folded parchment. But this one looks wrinkled and stained with mud and dried blood. Once I unfold the parchment, I know it's Hei's letter he wrote to me. I only reread the last two sentences. I love you. Thanks for the memories. I read it again and again non-consciously. I shake my head and fold the parchment and jam it in my jacket pocket.

I head out of my room and walk down the hall, and into the sitting room. I want to have some time to myself. I don't want anyone to talk to me and I want to stay outside of my room. They added in some new chairs by the window, so I take a seat on the red chair. I tuck my feet close to me and take out the parchment.

Each word burrows into my heart and mind. I feel like I'm sinking in the ocean. I don't struggle because everything feels soothing as I keep sinking because there is no bottom.

"Hey."

I lift my head from the paper to see Finnick sitting on the chair opposite of me. I fold the paper and place it back in my jacket pocket with a sigh, "How long have you been there?" I ask.

Finnick leans back in his chair, "Not too long ago." He says as he looks out the window.

I know he's avoiding me. I can see it in his eyes. I take out the parchment again and I show it to Finnick, "You know something about this, don't you." I say.

Finnick pries his eyes away from the window and towards me. He sits up straight and lets out a sigh, "I was the first to know."

Hei had spoken to Finnick about me. He told Finnick everything. He didn't want to make us star-crossed lovers only because he knows I would never have gone through with it. The paper and charcoal were the only things that Finnick sent Hei. All he had to say to one sponsor was that the boy wanted to relay one last message to his family. Out of sympathy, the sponsor did.

If it wasn't for Finnick, I would never have known. I thank him for that.

"Now before you go off on me, I was only helping the poor guy out. I mean, everyone has been there." Finnick admits as he looks back out the window.

I chuckle, it seems like everyone is trying to empathize me.

"Thank you." I mumble as I look down at the folded parchment.

"Ha, never expected for you to go soft on me." He laughs.

I glare at Finnick before I look to the window. The black sky makes the landscape hardly visible at all. When I look into the starry sky, I see flashes of faces in the sky along with their names. Lena, Magnus, Bachus, Hei and everyone in that damned arena.

"Their faces, they never go away." Finnick mutters, "Something you have to get used to."

It almost seems like a dream. Their faces will appear and reappear like an unknowing nightmare. My mind will twist my memories, thoughts, and dreams into my reality because that is what the Games will do to you.

No matter how much I will tell myself that I will never let that happen, it will.

I don't talk the rest of the train ride. I stay quiet and obedient at meals and I go back to my room to stare out the windows. Iza doesn't bother me as much anymore. I'm obedient and I don't smell like I've been bathing in brine and mud. Finnick only gives me the occasional smiles to assure me that he's there. Nimbus occasionally brings me hot tea whenever I'm sitting in the sitting room alone, but I don't talk to him.

I'm like this until we pull into District 4. I look out of the window of the door as the station ascends into my sight. Every inch is filled with people and cameras. Everyone has gathered to welcome me home, and I know Dad and Valentine will be here for me.

Home, I don't know if it will be different. Will everything I once love about my District become nothing?

Just as the train begins to slow down I take a deep breath in and exhale out. Everyone will be watching as I walk out of this train alone while being swarmed by cameras.

I just wish I'm not alone.

I feel like something grip onto my hand. I turn but no one is there, nothing is grabbing onto my hand. But my thoughts went over everything and Hei's words to me,

I love you. Thanks for the memories.

I visualize Hei next to me, holding onto my hand. I look over to him, and he smiles. I don't know what's going to happen now, after everything that's happened. I will walk out of here with a chain of memories behind me that no one will know of.

I just don't know what the storm is going to be like and what's there behind this door.

End of Book 1

A/N: I appreciate you, my readers, for sticking by my story for so long. I thank everyone who have been following my story as well as reviewing when you could. But there is more to come. Look forward to the next installment of the series, Insurrection. Now I don't know exactly when it will be released, but I will try to get it out as soon as I can. Until then, may the odds be ever in your favor.