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This...Is...CRAAAACCCCKKKKKK!


"Oh no...It's next to my cell-phone, what do we do now?" You asked terrified, clinging desperately to the blue-eyed man who stood protectively in front of you. You had never seen such a terrifying thing in your entire life. It's eyes shined with pure evil, making every bone in your body stiffen with fear.

"I know...And it's even got my ice-cream! The horror! (Name,) this is freaking scary, dude!" The man with dusty blond hair wailed, trying but failing at looking brave. This was far more worse than any horror movie that had ever been seen through his sea-blue eyes. How could something so small, be so scary? It was beyond him. But he, as the hero, would protect his lady at any cost!

Instead of running for the hills, he took a step forward, near the evil little thing. With a cheeseburger he kept deep inside of his pocket, which is totally normal, he threw the greasy food at said evil-ness. He missed by an inch, and by the looks of it, the evil thing looked completely enraged. It's eyes glowed red with anger, a scowl darkening it's already menacing features.

"What the hell? That thing has eyes, Alfred!" You yelped, causing it to turn it's angering gaze towards you. You shivered at the intense stare, your grasp on Alfred's arm tightening greatly.

"D-D-Dude, what do we freakin' do!"

"I don't know, you're the hero here! Hey...It kinda looks like you..."

"WHAT? I'm far more awesomer looking than that thing!"

"Al...Awesomer isn't a real word..."

"Of course it is! The hero said so!"

Rolling your eyes at his obnoxious laughter, you remembered there are more important things to be worried about. You feel the thing's eyes trailing over you to a great extent...Wait...It just winked? It couldn't possible be that this thing was trying to make a move on you, right? Oh god, someone call the therapist...

"HEY! Stop tryin' to hit on my bestie!" Alfred yells with rage, thinking how messed up that thing was for flirting with the hero's girlfriend. Well, more like really close friends since he doesn't understand the meaning of 'Tell the girl how you feel, and not wait for a Spider-man style kiss in the rain'. Just when you think he's actually going to save the day, making your hopes rise all the way up, he shrieks when it gives him a warning glare. He ran quickly back to you, well, behind you while shivering. Yup, your hero...

"Hey, you two..." The evil thing sneers. "Why not eat me? Come on...All I'll do is...KILL YOU!" You and Alfred screamed bloody murder, almost crushing each other from hugging so tightly out of fear. Both of you were shaking violently, not daring to move a muscle. Was this the end? No! It couldn't be!

"(Name,) I just want you to know that..." Oh my-Is he really going to confess? You've waited so long to hear those words of love. Yes, this is perfect! Because if you die, at least it will be with the man you know loves you-"...I never ate the last of my ice-cream! It's not fair, man!" If you still need the number to that therapist...

Before you could smack him up-side the head, the evil thing rises from it's spot, coming straight at you both. Screams were the only thing you heard until you felt something thumping on your forehead. Opening your eyes slowly, you see a concerned American staring down upon you after blinking a few times.

"It..was just a dream?" You mutter to yourself, letting out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness none of that was real! Even though you still felt as if it might come back to get you. But, you still had your hero! Said man who happened to be chugging down an extra large milk-shake. Best. Hero. Ever. Eye twitch.

"What's up, (Name?) Had a bad dream or something?"

"Yeah...It was about some kind of food...Ah, yes, I remember now! It was-"

"The scones are ready!" A British accent filled your ears.

"AHHHHHHHHH! America, SAVE ME! IT'S GONNA GET US!"

"HOLY SHIZ, RUN AWAY!"

You both left a scowling British man to eat his scones all alone, mumbling about how you were both "Bloody gits."


This is what happens when I'm high on sugar...

I was listening to some songs on YouTube, while eating candy, found this song on YouTube about an evil piece of toast and was like, "OH HELL YEAH! A SONG ABOUT TOAST!" But, instead of toast, you seen something far worse... *Glancing at England's scones"...

GAH! I still have a crap ton of request to do, which are late, and yet I'm writing cracked-up stuff... It's just...I never thought I'd actually get so many request since I'm not the most confident writer...

And Hetalia has really screwed with my mind, because at the store today, I saw "Italian sausage" I started giggling like an idiot from thinking about Italy and Germany.

I swear, I'll get those request done sooner or later! But this thing called "reality", which ruins my life of fun, is keeping me from doing them...

Hetalia © Hidekaz Himaruya

You © America/Alfred, who are still running like hell-o how you doing?