The landscape was stark black and white, dead bodies covering the ground. The smell of acrid smoke and blood filled the air. I coughed dryly as putrid air cut into my lungs. I didn't know where I was. It was obvious that some kind of battle had just occurred, but why was I there? I looked around, and nothing seemed familiar. It's as if I'd been been suck from a dreamy reality into a cold nightmare.
Suddenly, I felt a heavy burden on my arms. It was a boy with a familiar smile. His eyes were icy blue, a piercing color against his dark grey skin. He had several bruises, rips on his uniform, and a long gash along his core. Despite being in such bad shape, the boy carried a grin, a sad, lifeless grin. I sympathized for the poor boy since I felt no pain, even though I was somehow put in this retched place. Or so I thought. I felt warm liquid trickle down my face. The battered boy wiped the tears from my eyes. "Don't cry," said the boy in a kind, but lonely voice. My heart screamed in my chest, despite the fact that I didn't know who the boy was.
"Elij?" I whispered in a heavy voice.
"Yes, Dakama, Elij. I don't want you to cry. It makes me sad." He closed his eyes and opened them again. I could feel my heart crack more and more as I stared deeper into his azure eyes. I rubbed away my tears.
"Don't die, then I won't cry," I said, shaking, trying to comprehend what was going on. My heart began to crumble away more and more.
"I'm sorry, I can't do that." He frowned for a second and then his sad smile crept back onto his face. He reached up to kiss me. His lips brushed softly against mine before he fell back. Elij became quite. I shook his cold body vigorously.
"Wake up!" I screamed repeatedly. He did not wake up. Sobbing, I clutched his head against my chest. I wanted to show him the sound of my dying heart.
I shrieked a curse to the sky as my heart shattered.
I snapped up from my slumber, cold and sweating. Aris was next to me, with an unreadable expression. Not even his eyes showed a hint of emotion. His mouth was a tight, straight, as though someone drew it on with a ruler. I held onto his shoulder so that I could prop myself into a sitting position. His shoulder was a stone.
"You were having those dreams again, weren't you?" Aris said with a droning tone. He began to pet my cheek gingerly.
"Dreams are filled with whimsical adventures and fantasy. What I have is nightmares filled with distorted memories and death," I said in a rather melancholy matter. Aris didn't give me a rude comment, as he normally did.
"That was little morbid don't you think?"
I shrugged, "I'm just stating the truth." Aris sighed. I didn't want to speak about my recurring nightmares, but Aris pursued the subject.
"What part of the nightmare do you remember?" I grimaced. I didn't want to remember, but I did, I always did. I didn't respond for a very long time. Aris began to get irritated. "Well?" My eyes wandered away to ceiling.
"I don't remember." I pouted like a spoiled smeet, hoping that it would distract Aris. But Aris didn't budge. He seized my face and pulled it close to his. Our eyes met directly.
"Tell me the truth!" he said harshly. I pushed him away. Tears trickled down my cheeks. I didn't want to remember the dream. Aris frowned. He wiped the tears from my eyes. Just like he did.
"Don't cry," he said, just like he did. I screamed, pushing Aris' face away. He fell back on the floor.
"DON'T SAY THOSE WORDS! Don't every say those words." Aris' emotionless face faded into a mix of anger and sorrow. He had a face of defeat, clenching his fists and gritting his teeth. Aris pounded at the floor with his fists, repeatedly growling, "Darn it." Before I could say anything else, Aris stormed out of the ship, I mean car. I pulled the covers over my head.
We didn't speak for a long time after that.
Today, we were heading back to Resisty headquarters. The mission was a bust. A big horrible bust. I could imagine the scolding I would get from Lard Nar, but, it didn't seem to matter to me. My main worry was of Aris. He still wasn't talking. And even if I tried to reconcile with him, he would turn away and tell me that he's busy.
How ironic.
For so long, I did my best to avoid him, to keep him away...And now, he's doing it to me. I understand how he felt. To be ignored and hated by the one you care for. Behind that conceited face of his, I understand now, was a young man, yearning for love. And that was his only way. Even, now, my feelings for him are jumbled. Confused in a web of lies.
Do I really know Aris?
My eyes were kept on him the entire trip. The entire trip, he held a stern, stone face, like he usually had...But this time, he no longer made his wise-cracking remarks.
My thoughts of depression grew.
And now
My thoughts of living were depleting.
We had arrived, and like I predicted, I was chastised by Lard Nar. This time, however, I didn't become pouty, or argumentative like I normally would get. And I'm sure he sensed it.
"What's the matter with you?" Lard Nar inquired, having a peculiar look on his face. I shrugged.
"Nothing." I don't think that cut it. He pulled me down to his eye-level.
"Tell me the truth."
"I said nothing." Fire began to grow in the pit of my squeedly spooch. Lard Nar asked again.
"What's wrong with you?!"
I unleashed my flame.
Taking him by the horns, I threw Lard Nar as hard as could against the council wall. Lard Nar was stunned, no emotion. Taking several deep breaths, the fire died. I looked at my shaking hands, and bowed my head.
"I told you, nothing," I said in low, gruff voice, walking out of the council room.
I dragged myself through the halls, eyes low, body tossed around by the overflowing members. I was suffocating, and with the short of breath, collapsed on the floor.
I woke up. Stiff, white sheets, on a rock-hard bed. Rolling my head for a few seconds, I got up. The room I was in looked like prison. It was dimly lit, with a grey atmosphere. Rubbing my eye-lids, I inferred,"Have I been arrested."
A familiar voice called out,"For me it isn't." The voice walked into the cell-like dorm. "It's my room." It was Aris, a fluffy, white towel wrapped around his neck.
My muscles felt stiff from the bedding, and I yawned. "You sleep on this brick?" Aris chuckled.
"Yeah, I do." He climbed into the bed, patting down the sheets.
"What happened?" Aris shifted closer to me.
"You got trapped in the hall and passed out. Nothing serious."
"Oh," I said blatantly. Aris held his normal expression, again, but his eyes were directed to the wall. I noticed he was shirtless, and I took a good, long look. Aris was well-built, with several scars along his arms. Most likely from the war. Unconsciously, my hand reached out. I began to pet his arm, tracing along his scars and scratches. He turned his head slightly to my face. I couldn't stop looking at his scars, stuck in a strange trance. It was eventually broken by Aris who gave my not a snarky remark, but something I never imagined him to say:
"I love you."
I knew he had some flirtatious deal with me, but I never actually thought he loved me. No response. I had nothing to say. I never knew how I felt about Aris. I always thought I hated him, but now, I just had pure confusion. It was almost like
I was incapable of expressing love. And all because of Elij.
Maybe I did love Aris, but, how was I to respond. And instead of confessing my "undying feelings" to him, I gave him the most stupid, dumbfounded expression that could make Zim look smart. And then, without warning, Aris dove in, and kissed me. And that is when, my feelings for him unraveled. I began to cry.
Sweet tears of joy trickled down my face as I wrapped my arms around his neck. Returning the kiss. He pulled back, releasing the kiss.
"So?"
"So what?" I asked, while I wiped the tears from my eyes.
"Do you love me, too?" I gave him an expression as though I was in deep thought. "Well?"
I then genuinely pondered over the question. I don't know if I truly loved him. "Maybe."
"Really?" Aris said, annoyed. I shrugged, and nuzzled my non-existent nose towards his.
"Fine, I love you, even if you are a big, conceited, cocky, jerk."