Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I really want. I know that Gaara was randomly introduced in the last chapter, but it was a spurr of the moment in the older version. I hope you liked the last chapter regardless. Now on to chapter four.

Chapter 4

I went up to my room sniffling. I hated being this weak, but still I was only five. I wasn't as strong as the twelve year olds. I ended up falling asleep because I was tired from the search. I did all that my little body could take and it wore me out.

"What did I tell you before little boy?" the man said popping up into my head again. I just wanted him to go away. I didn't like the voice in my head.

"You told me that my mother was dead," I said sadly. I still didn't want to believe him.

"No, I will never believe you," I said with anger. He was standing in front of me again. His arms were folded over his chest.

"Well maybe you should because I said that she might be dead. I never said that she was alive," I said.

"I should have believed you, but I still won't. I want to find my mother. I want her to be here for me," I said.

"Well I have to go, but I will be back soon," he said with evil smile. I shuddered at the thought of him coming back.

I did start to dream about my mother. I wondered if she had blonde hair like me. I wondered if she had the same dark blue eyes that I had. I had so many questions that I wanted to ask her. I also wondered if she wanted to die after giving birth to me. I still don't get why she left me all alone.

Was I good enough for her? Did she hate my daddy? Did my mother hate me? I know I won't get all of the answers to those questions until I know.

Around three o'clock I was hungry. I was going to get food. I did have money on me, but I didn't know how I got the money. I didn't even know the Hokage. I didn't have a job which the money would come. I knew that if I had been older I would have been able to become a ninja by now. When I did missions I knew then that's where I would get my money from. I just knew that I didn't steal the money from the government.

I got to the bar about five minutes later. I did have a lot on my mind. I had walked slowly over to the bar. I almost ran into someone, but I dodged them. I had been looking at the ground most of the time. I was lucky because if I ran into that person I would have been punched in the face.

"Hi," I said to the old man.

"Hey, Naruto, you look hungry. Do you want your usual?" He asked me. I nodded and waited for my meal to be cooked. So many things were still running through my mind. I wanted to know what my father was like. I couldn't describe him or even begin to imagine what he looked like, but maybe one day I will see a picture of him.

"How has your day been?" I asked him politely.

"It has been going pretty well. How about you, son? How was the search for your mother," he asked me. I looked down sadly. I didn't think he would ask me about that. He didn't want me to go in the first place. He was warning me that it was dangerous, but I didn't listen. I didn't run into anything dangerous and I was thankful for that. I put my head on the table.

"It went horrible. I couldn't find her. I just went on the search because a guy in my dream told me that she might be dead. I just think she is dead now. I don't think I will be finding my mother anytime soon," I said frowning.

"Naruto, it will be okay," he said with a sad look. I wonder if he knew how I felt. I wonder if he had lost his mother when he was a baby. I wonder if he was the one who grew up alone. I know he's married and has a daughter. He isn't alone in this place like I have been. He couldn't tell me that everything was going to be alright because it still would be the same.

"You don't know what I have gone through in the last five years. You can't understand me, sir. I knew you grew up with parents who loved you. You don't know how I feel. I just wanted to be love like every other child in this village," I said. I was getting depressed and upset about everything. I didn't know what to do anymore. I got up from the stool and ran away crying before the old man could say anything to me.

I ran into someone this time unlike before I avoided the person. This time I couldn't avoid the person because I was running.

"How dare you, punk?!" The guy yelled in my face.

"I didn't mean too. I'm really sorry, sir," I said getting more upset. I knew what was going to happen next. More pain was going to come to me. I just didn't care at that moment. He smacked me to the ground. He walked away after he kicked me once in the stomach. I grabbed onto my stomach. I just laid there in the middle of the street. I didn't care who came to kick me. I just didn't care about anything. I could feel my life come crashing to a stop at that very moment.

"Maybe, I should just leave the village for a little while. It's not like anyone would miss me. I don't have anything holding me back from doing so. I need to get away from the abuse and pain," I thought to myself. I decided that I was going to leave the village. I was going to find someone that loved me for me. I wanted to find someone that would accept me. I just need someone that won't hit me.

XXX

It was extremely dark in the forest that I was walking around. There were no lights and I was scared. I was freezing. I just wanted to be in a bed, but I knew that I couldn't go back to that village. I just didn't want to be somewhere was someone was going to try to kill me every single moment that I lived there. I knew that my sand would protect me from attackers if someone did try to attack. I knew that it was pretty dangerous in this forest. It did help me out a lot I didn't kill anyone. Well I hope I didn't kill anyone.

I couldn't help, but think about what my uncle said as he was trying to kill me. It saddened me that he didn't love me. I thought that I had someone special in my life that no one else had, but I didn't. I just lived with lies for my whole life. I did think that he was the only one that truly did care and love me. I was wrong about that though. I was wrong about everything. Plus I knew my family didn't because I killed mother when I was born. I knew that they missed mother and hated me for what I did to her. I don't even know how I killed her. I knew that my uncle was only doing my father's will.

"I never truly loved you, Gaara," repeated in my head over and over again. I didn't want to think about not being loved. I knew that was the truth now. Now I was starting to wonder why my father tried to have me killed. He never came to visit me after I was born. I guess my dad thought that I was a monster, but in reality he was.

I really don't know anything else, but I did know that I was farther away from the village. I couldn't wait to get even further in this dark scary forest.

XXX

I really hoped you enjoyed this chapter. It was sad for me and it was longer than the last chapter on the story. I added more. I hope you liked. One or two reviews and I will update this chapter. xoxo