Sinbad, the carefree, wild and strong king was disappearing from this world. My lighting, the man who was as luminous as the sun was turning into darkness right in front of my eyes. And I couldn't do anything. With him, the joyful Sindria became like a lifeless desert and would be even worse with its king gone.
I finally reached him, catching his arm to prevent me for falling. I stare at his empty eyes and tightened my grip on him. He has this expression. This expression he only wore in front of an enemy. I feel my last strengths getting away from me, I couldn't fight anymore and I felt ashamed. I lowered my head, I couldn't look at him, at my failure.
After years of nothingness instead of a proper childhood, I finally found a reason to live, a reason to my former meaningless existence. Thanks to him I realized that my blades weren't only meant to kill, that my hands, dirt in blood, could save and protect.
To protect him.
My king, his kingdom and his dreams.
But this time I failed. I failed as one of the eight general of Sindria, I failed as Sinbad's right-hand, I failed as a friend.
I put my hand on his, staring at the reddish color they had now and smiled sadly as I recalled a long-time memory.
"- Don't touch me, you'll get dirty if you do.
He looked at me with surprised eyes.
- I have too much blood on my hands, I don't want to soil yours by getting in contact with you.
He sighed and smiled at me.
- Mines aren't as pure as you think, you know.
He had taken my hands, putting his head on them.
- Your hands seem fine. They're small and pretty, you don't have to hide them like that.
- But, Sin, I…
- Stop treating you as if you were nothing! Stop thinking you're not needed in this world!
- Am I?
Sinbad tightened his grip on my hand, looking at me with a warm and friendly smile, but with serious eyes nonetheless.
- Of course! You're quite strong aren't you? You fighting skills are quite impressive you know? Those hands can kill, I know that, but they can protect too. They can save a life.
I didn't understand. I was a killer, there was no way I could save someone. He put a hand on my hair and smiled wildly.
- I need someone to protect my back, I need someone I could entrust with my life.
Little tears started to blurry my vision.
- I'll be famous one day, you know? I'll conquer all the labyrinths on the world! Do you want to come with me? It'll be fun! And it'll be even more funny if you come with me! Going on adventures alone is boring. And dangerous.
He paused.
- I need someone who could be my eyes and my right-hand.
He put away a tear that was rolling on my face.
- I need you."
"I failed Sin. I couldn't protect you in the end, I broke my promise…
I have to thank you though, for believing in me, but I have no excuse this time. I didn't protect you.
I couldn't save you. I'm…"
I raised my head and look at his eye but I didn't see what I did before. They weren't blank anymore and a glimpse of Sinbad started to shine in those reddish circles. I smiled weakly. Did he have come back on his own now that All Sarmen and the Kou Empire left? Did my words reach him? I feel relieved.
I let my hand and my body fall as I reached my limits.
"I'm…"
The world turn into black and I closed my eyes.
"I'm sorry…"
Some days later, in the King's room.
Despite Sinbad's will to help with the restoration of the country he was forced to stay in bed while receiving treatments from his subordinates. It was my turn now and I was busy preparing the medics Yamuhaira advice us to make Sin recover faster.
I was putting the plate on the little table near the bed when he took my hand to get my attention.
I sit on the bed and continued to prepare Sin's food, waiting for him to speak.
"Ja'far."
"Yes?"
"Please, promise me one thing. If my curse were to crush me, If I were to fall to the black rukhs completely… If I try to hurt every single one of you or become a threat to Sindria…"
I froze and look at him. He was determinate. And I was afraid.
"Please promise me you would kill me."
No, I don't want to, I don't, I can't… We all know, we eight generals, that one day the dream would vanished, that one day we would lost our precious king to a darker one, to someone who were not Sin. When his curse would take over his body completely, when the circle will finish his revolution, everything will be lost. Sin will be somewhere we can't go to and there was no way he would be able to come back.
I was raised as a murder, I was mean to kill people without feeling anything. I still have this capacity, I have no remorse on killing people who were a threat to Sin. He knows that I would be able to do it. He knows that I was the closest to him and that he could entrust me this very last order. He knows I'll do anything for his sake.
"… Yes…"
But if you were to disappear, then I would fellow you. I'll fellow you no matter what, whatever it takes, even at the cost of my own life because without you my life was meaningless.
Everything that makes you sad, everything that hurts you. I'll destroy it. I'll destroy everything even if it means you. I promise you. And then, I'll fall with you.
"Yes, my king."