Calla

Snape had drastically changed the seating arrangements. He'd completely separated Kalinda from me. Kalinda got to stay in her same spot, but I unfortunately, was moved to the closest seat to Snape, the spot reserved for troublesome students, which, I admit that I was, but he'd never sat me there until now. It was a little unsettling and it seemed to me that he was doing his damned best to keep us as far away from each other as possible and to keep a closer eye on me, as if I'd go spurting off anything else to Kalinda. What more was there to tell? What unnerved me more was that Kalinda refused to look at me in Potions now.

That night, after supper, I went down to the dungeons on a whim. I'm not sure why, but something told me that I should be there because something important was about to happen. I was not disappointed.

I'd seen Kalinda force her way into his office but luckily for me, the door hadn't been shut all the way. And of course, being the nosey person that I am, decided to eavesdrop. I could've shit myself at what I heard. I mean, in the back of my head, since Snape had pulled me aside and chewed my ass for telling Kalinda about the kiss, I suspected but now I had confirmation that there was something going on between the two of them. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or to cry. I wanted to laugh because it was so...absurd but wanted to cry because I clearly wanted him and I'd stupidly told Kalinda that much. She probably hated my guts and saw me as a threat which is why she wouldn't look at me in potions any more. But she had more or less told Snape that I was her friend, which touched me, and would continue to talk to me despite what he thought and what measures he took to try and prevent that.

While this juicy bit of information boggled my mind, I couldn't help but feeling extremely guilty for it. As of right now, Kalinda was really my only friend and I hated to think that I was trying to move in on the man she at least liked. And it was true, I'd caused a fair bit of trouble for their relationship without even realizing what I was doing. I did not like that one bit. I didn't like it when my parents fought and they were two of the most in love people I'd ever met. That sort of thing just bugged me. I'd tried to back off but some mysterious force kept putting me in circumstances that were very compromising, especially on Snape's part. Not that I felt sorry for him or anything.

I still could not deny that I had feelings for Snape. And it seemed the more time passed, the stronger it got. Tara was horribly wrong about it being sexual tension. It was much worse than that. And maybe Kalinda had a point. Perhaps he was somewhat interested in me, if he realized he knew it or not. Had the circumstances been any different, I'd be thrilled but all I could feel at that moment was ashamed and I really didn't have much shame.

I was not mad at Kalinda for not telling me about her and Snape. I don't think I'd want anyone else to know either considering what they had could get them into a serious amount of trouble, regardless if the relationship was sexual or not. But I could not resist the urge to fuck with Snape and in a big way.

I asked him one day after class if it was okay for me to stop by his office after supper so he could have a look at my chest (which was still badly bruised). I could've gone to Pomfrey but he seemed to understand that the old hen had done nothing for me to begin with, so he reluctantly agreed.

Snape did not ask me to remove my robes, thank fuck, because I wasn't planning on it anyway. I sat down in front of his desk and crossed my knees casually and leaned back.

"It still hurts," I said.

"You've made that clear," he said shortly. "But does it hurt to breathe?"

"Not really, no," I replied. "It's just ve-ry tender."

"Do you want a painkiller?" He asked. I thought about it for a second. A painkiller would be nice to have but that wasn't the reason I was there. "Sure, I suppose."

So as he dug around on his shelves, looking for the proper potion, I casually asked, "You fucked Kalinda Allen lately?" He didn't stop what he was doing, but I'm sure he heard me and was just choosing to ignore it. Actually, I did not know what sort of relationship they had but I just assumed it was sexual at least because well, let's face it, he was a young lonely guy and young lonely guys had needs.

Snape handed me a phial filled with a painkilling potion. "This should help, but don't take too much at once unless you want to be a complete vegetable until it wears off."

"Kay," I said. That was my hint to leave but my buttocks remained firmly planted in that chair. "Now before you go off and get all pissy with Kalinda, she wasn't the one who told me. I overheard the two of you talking."

"You're clearly misconstruing what was said," he said quietly, refusing to look at me.

"Let me think," I tapped my chin. "I think I remember you saying something like, 'I am a one woman type of man, and you are and have been that woman.' That's pretty straightforward, me thinks."

"If you must know the truth, Bigsby, yes, Miss Allen and I are something of an item."

"Oh," I said. "For how long?"

"Is that really relevant?"

"No, I suppose it's not. I was just curious, that's all."

"Well, I hope I've satisfied your curiosity, now leave." Snape pointed at the door and I stood.

"Thanks for the potion," I said before I left. "And don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

"Of course you won't," he said tersely. "I'll kill you if you do."

"Gotcha. Later, Professor."

The other problem was Kalinda herself. I didn't want to be so blunt and straightforward with her being that she was my only friend. But I still needed to hear it from her and I wasn't so sure that would happen with out a little prying.

It was during Herbology, the last class of the term that I actually got a chance to talk to her. Sprout was usually good about lightening the workload right before the Christmas holiday, mainly because it was winter and we were done harvesting things. The heavy stuff would begin when we got back when we were supposed to start planting and seeding things. It didn't matter. It was all cake to me. I loved gardening even if it was for school.

"You going home for the holidays?" I asked Kalinda.

"Yes, I always do," she said. That shouldn't have made me happy but it did for several reasons. I was glad she was going back to see her family and I was glad she'd be gone for all those days because even if I didn't talk to Snape, it would still seem like I had the fucker to myself. "Are you?"

"Nah," I said with a shrug. "My parents got married on Christmas Eve and they like to go somewhere for their anniversary with out me. You know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've actually ever spent a Christmas with my parents. We always did it early."

"Oh," she said. I wasn't sure if she was saying this by way of apology or not. It was kind of hard to read the girl.

"It's alright. That's just the way it's always been. Besides, I might use the opportunity to, I don't know, talk to Snape or something,"I said. Now, this was only partially true. I just wanted to see what sort of reaction I would get out of her considering her relationship with Snape. As much as I just wanted to come right out and say something to her about it, I couldn't bring myself to do it. "Not that I expect much or anything. He doesn't seem to strike me as the type to consort with his students or at least not with me. Though he was nice enough to give me a pain killing potion for my chest the other day."

"Yes, he mentioned something about that. I didn't think you were one of those kinds of girls. Unless you are just trying to bait me, which I don't very much appreciate either. I prefer frankness," Kalinda said in a tone that made my spine go slightly chilly. Plus, it was cold out there in the greenhouse. She still wouldn't look at me. She continued to doodle in her sketchbook, which I suppose was habit for her. She did it quite often, especially when the class work was finished.

"Right," said I. "I suppose that would probably be best. I just didn't want to, you know, be rude about it or anything." I felt bad for a moment and was lost for words. "I guess he told you that I found out about you and him?"

"Yes," Kalinda paused for a moment, seemingly hesitant. I wasn't going to force her to tell me anything she didn't want me to but since I wanted to become a psychiatrist of sorts, I didn't mind listening. Sometimes people just needed to talk. I just looked at her, urging her to continue. I didn't want to seem pushy. "He told me he threatened to kill you if you told. Calla, I wouldn't take that lightly if I were you," Kalinda seemed concerned as she frowned. I feigned a pensive look.

"He did, didn't he?" I said and scratched my chin. "But, I'm perfectly aware what he's capable of and I'm not going to tell a soul. Besides, I'm not really concerned about him, per se. It's you I'm worried about."

"I didn't think you'd tell someone... at least not on purpose. And what do you mean you're worried about me?" Kalinda raised an eyebrow. I felt stupid because I know it was stupid.

"You scare me more than he does. You had him first, and I'm not going to lie. I like him. I like him a lot. I just don't want you to hate me for that." I paused for a moment. "You're a Slytherin and while I trust you, I know there's a reason you were placed there. I may be dumb but I'm not stupid."

Then she smirked at me which gave me a cold chill once more. The girl never smiled. "Very wise of you, Calla. You can't trust anyone. People will always hurt and disappoint you, even without meaning to."

"How very cynical," I pointed out. "But touche, my friend, touche."

"Look Calla, I'm not good with this sentimental, lets share our feelings crap. I care about him more than I'd prefer to say, but I know what I need and what he needs. Believe me, Slytherins really don't belong together, not when they are are as similar in temperaments as we are," she said without a hint of emotion in her voice. "So long as you're honest with me and don't try to pull one over on me, I think we'll be fine." She turned and looked me straight in the eye and what I saw scared me even more. It was a threat of some kind. Kalinda Allen was not the girl to be fucked with.

Kalinda

Severus summoned me to his private quarters the following evening and we made nice not long after that last argument. For the first time since my first night back at the castle after the long summer, I decided to spend the night in his rooms. I didn't sleep that well that night, but the discourteous way I had just taken off the last time we slept together, I thought that I should make up for it.

Considering I didn't sleep very much that night, I rose before Severus did. Being as I had Divination first thing in the morning and as I have long hair, I had to get up early to take a shower and get ready. I'm not much of a girly girl, I didn't like bothering too much with my appearance, however, I loathed going out with my hair wet. So after showering I quickly put on my school uniform and started drying my hair. Being as my hair is long and I have quite a bit of it, using charms to dry it takes a while as you can really only do bits of it at a time if you want it to be effective and if you don't want to burn your hair.

I was beginning to brush out my hair, when Severus walked into the washroom to take a shower. "You forgot these," he said with a smirk, dangling from his index finger a lavender piece of cloth. I immediately turned and snatched the garment from his hand and set it on the corner of the sink before turning around to finish brushing my hair. "I still don't see why you simply won't put a cleansing charm on them and put them on. I really don't like it when you don't wear anything underneath your skirt."

"It doesn't feel the same as when they are washed with water and soap to me. I still feel like its unsanitary. Besides, its not like anyone will know. I'm going to be wearing my robe over anyway and being as the castle is so cold this time of the year, there isn't a chance I will take it off. I don't see why it bothers you so much," I replied as I put down the brush and straightened my tie. For a moment, I leaned into the mirror over the sink and closely inspected my face; I traced my fingers over my brows for a moment to make sure all the black hairs that made it up were all going in the same direction.

"You look perfectly fine, don't see why you bother so much, princess," the mirror commented the end sounding quite mocking, making me jump slightly. A pink tinge covered my light brown skin. I always forgot that Snape had a stupid enchanted mirror! I hated the damn thing, it always had comments to make.

Turning around, I found Severus leaning against the wall and watching me with amusement. "I don't see why you've never changed that mirror," I said, shaking my head. He got off the wall and smirked at me as he laid his hand on my waist and pulled me close. I could feel his morning wood press into my lower abdomen as he leaned his head down.

"It has a permanent sticking charm. Besides, I like the way it flusters you. Reminds me of the way you look when we're having sex," he murmured while tracing kisses along my neck. The baritone of his voice made shivers course through me. For a moment, I felt that familiar longing for his love. I felt that if he only loved me, things would have been different. If he felt something at all for me, I thought I would be feeling so confused over this strange feelings rising for Professor Bell.

Pressing my hands against his chest, I pushed him back a little. "We don't have time for this. I have to go and you need to get ready," I said, whirling around once more to grab my knickers. "I'll see you later," I said pecking him on the cheek before walking out of the washroom. I picked my school bag off the floor, which I had brought with me the previous evening and stuffed my kickers at the bottom before sneaking out of his private quarters. The day, like much of the rest of the week was uneventful.

I was actually rather startled when Severus pulled me into his office a few days later. "What?" I asked, startled as I turned to look at him. Severus never wished to speak to me during the day. At least not if it was not school related and considering the fact that he'd closed the door and was seemingly locking it and putting up charms so we would not be overheard, I knew it was not school related.

"Bigsby knows about us," he said stiffly as he turned slowly to look at me. I furrowed my brow in response.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"She came to see me yesterday after dinner because her chest was causing her pain. I gave her pain killers and she tactfully asked me if I fucked you lately. I ignored her and for a moment suspected that you said something to her about us even though that seemed highly unlikely. But she informed me she overheard our argument and she, verbatim, quoted something I said," he said. I felt my stomach churn as I recalled that I hadn't shut the door behind myself and that I was sure Severus hadn't done so either.

"What did you tell her?" I asked, though I was afraid to speak for a moment because I was sure that I would throw up. I didn't exactly like the idea of someone knowing about us. Not because I was afraid of what would happen to us if it got out, though that was a concern, but more because I don't like very many people knowing or being involved with my personal life. Even if I considered them to be friends. Or well, the closest thing I'd have to a friend.

"Lying seemed futile, besides I doubt she will tell anyone about it. However, I threatened to kill her if she did." If it were anyone else who had said that, I would think that they were speaking hyperbolically. However, I've seen his Dark Mark. It was very faded and faint, hardly visible, but I'd seen it. Severus had explained a bit about that part of his past to me, but I really wasn't sure if he was not serious about pulling through on that threat. It was worrisome. Not that I honestly believed that Calla would tell someone... however, Calla could be a bit imprudent at times and ... well I felt that she might let it slip to someone accidentally. Though, I suppose I really didn't have to worry about that happening, as for some reason she didn't seem to really be talking to any of her old friends anymore. I suppose it must have something to do with the fact that she quit the Quidditch team.

"I see," I stated slowly wondering how I was supposed to act around Calla now that she knew. It wasn't in my nature to say anything to her about it, and I certainly didn't feel the need to explain it to her. I mean, I really don't care what people think of me. And its not like she's going to judge me for having a relationship, or whatever you wanted to call it, affair I suppose, with my Professor considering she was into that same Professor and already made a move on him.

However, I didn't exactly want to tip-toe around the subject either. I internally groaned. Calla really seemed to be burrowing into my life and I wasn't sure why that was happening. I hated that things were getting so complicated! "Kalinda, I'd really prefer you wouldn't start talking to her about us simply because she is aware of it. I like my private life remaining private," Severus said coldly.

"Have you forgotten who you are talking to?" I asked, raising a brow. He merely smirked in response.

For the following days, I concentrated on my work considering the end of term was drawing nearer. There really wasn't much of an opportunity to speak to Calla. That is, until Herbology as things tended to be a little slow in the last months of first term. I was sketching some of the plants in the greenhouse in Aandaleeb when Calla started speaking to me. I was a little annoyed when she turned the conversation to Snape.

Considering the fact that she knew about Severus and me, and that she didn't strike me as the home-wrecking type, I figured she had to be fishing for information. I really would have preferred it she had just asked what she wanted to know about. Being a Slytherin and knowing what my housemates were like and having enough to deal with them all, I didn't want to deal with the same shit with other people. I preferred for people to be upfront with me and honest. I don't like going round about things and playing games.

I suppose I could understand that perhaps Calla didn't want to pry, however, if I really didn't want to talk about something, I would simply tell her so and she could then drop the subject. I didn't like for things to be all cloaks and daggers. I found the conversation was slightly uncomfortable and I didn't really like talking about it in the greenhouse where we could be overheard by our fellow classmates, however, there were points I found interesting. I was highly amused by the fact that Calla was frightened of me and I would have laughed if it wouldn't have ruined my reputation for being cold and unfeeling.

However, I think that I may have scared Calla slightly with the last thing I said to her. I came out as a bit of a threat. Really, it wasn't so much of a threat. I mean really, I wouldn't take kindly to being lied to or betrayed. However, by being vengeful and scornful it would be admitting to feeling and... well, I don't like to feel or let on that I do. Besides, I really was of the philosophy of 'live and let live'. The idea of harming someone or ruining their lives simply because they have caused you harm in some way, didn't really sit right with me.

TBC...

Author's Note: As always, do us a favor and read and review. There shall be more to come but I have a bit of bad news. This is Eyesuhkattspeleeng, Hades'Queen has given me express permission to update under her account as she has lost her Internet connection. No idea when she will be able to get online and will send me tid bits every so often but after a certain point, this story will probably go under hiatus until she can do that. Good news? Why yes, I do have some of that. The hiatus won't happen for a while. So hopefully she will get her connection back before then and we won't have to worry about it! Gotta find that silver lining, folks.