Hey guys, I know it has been a while, but here is the next update. hope you enjoy it.
Bella's POV
I sat on Jasper's lap thinking about how to start this conversation. This wasn't exactly something that you spoke about on a day to day basis.
"Ok, remember when I first came here. We had known each other about an hour, and we were sitting on the grass outside the house. You noticed that I was very nervous, jumpy and didn't want to be around people. I lied to you when I said that I didn't do well in big groups of people. I wasn't afraid of everyone, just Edward, Emmett. And you." I told him.
"You were afraid of me?" Jasper asked me, sounding confused.
"Yes, no other reason than because you are a man. Before I met you I've never had that much luck with men."
"I'm confused. What are you trying to tell me? has someone hurt you?" he asked, sounding angry.
"Not recently. I've never really told you the reason why I left Italy. The reason I was so scared when they came looking for me. It wasn't only because of what Aro would do to me if he found out what I could do. Other stuff happened." I said, feeling myself start to tremble at the memory.
"Bella, you are scaring me, what happened?" Jasper asked me.
I knew I couldn't tell exactly what happened, because I knew I wasn't strong enough to say the words.
"You know Rose's Story right well times that by 100."
Jasper didn't say anything for a while. I could feel the anger and the hurt radiating off him. I honestly didn't know how he was going to react.
" Jasper, please say something." I begged him, praying it would break the silence.
"I have so many questions going through my head, but the most important one is why have you never told me this?" He asked me, sounding hurt.
"Because it is hard. You have seen how hard it is for Rosalie to talk about her…situation, and it happened to her once. I was living with it. Rose doesn't speak about it because it traumatised her, I don't speak about it because I learned long ago, that talking about it to anyone would just make it worse." I told him, through gritted teeth, trying to keep my emotions inside.
"But why haven't you told me? I'm your husband. I can understand about everyone else, but not me." Jasper asked me.
"I know, I'm sorry, but you have to try to understand what I went through…" I tried to tell him.
"But I don't know. Well, I do, but I don't know what made it so bad that you cant tell me."
"What? The fact that I told you that someone has raped me isn't enough for you to understand? Do you need the gory details about how often it happened, how he did it? What else do you want from me Jasper?" I growled. I was so angry and upset right now. I don't know what else he wanted from me. Wasn't it bad enough that I had to recite the incident, without having to tell him what happened each and every time.
He didn't reply to my outburst, he simple pulled me closer into him and held me tightly.
All this was getting too much. I couldn't keep my feelings from him any more, so I let them all out in one go. I knew he could feel each and every emotion which I was letting out, because he went as straight and as stiff as a plank. But he didn't complain. Soon, after he got everything sorted in his head, I suddenly felt very calm and relaxed. I know I have always told Jasper not to mess with my emotions, but now was the one time where I was grateful for my husbands gift.
"I'm sorry that I have kept this from you." I whispered into his neck, before kissing the junction between his neck and his shoulder.
"You had your reasons. But you must understand that this raises a few more questions for me." he said, moving my face so he could look in my eyes.
"Like what?" I asked, worried about where this conversation was going.
"Like, what else are you keeping from me. This doesn't seem like a topic which you can just smooth other and forget about, this is a big issue and it seemed all to easy for you to hide it from me." he said.
"There is nothing else that I haven't told you, I promise."
He leaned in and kissed me lightly.
"You will forgive me if I don't believe that." He whispered.
I sat in silence, letting what he said sink in.
"What else do you think I am hiding?" I asked him.
"I don't know. You might not be hiding anything big like this, but you have told me all to often that there are things that you can easily hide from me. Your emotions for one, and from what emotions you just let out, I think it is a fair chance to think that you are hiding other things too." He told me.
I moved so that I was straddling Jasper's lap and then took his face in my hands.
"Jasper, please listen to me. I am not hiding any thing else from you. This was the only thing. Granted, it was a pretty big thing but…there is nothing else I swear." I promised him.
He sighed, and then leaned in and kissed me again. With a bit more force this time.
"Fine, if you say there is nothing else I believe you, but I do think it will be a good idea for us to go somewhere and reconnect a little bit." He said.
"What? Leave here?" I asked.
"Yes. We can go on a trip. Not forever but long enough for us to figure things out."
I understood what he meant. I had kept something huge from him, and even though I knew that I wasn't hiding anything else from him, there was still things we needed to talk about to try and clear the air a little bit.
"I think that is a good idea. It would be good to have a break from everyone in the house as well."
"When you mean everyone you mean Rosalie?" Jasper asked.
"Yes. I need to get away from her before she finds out about this. I know this is defiantly something that she will use against me." I said.
"Fine, lets go back to the house, pack some things and go as soon as possible." Jasper said.
We got up off the forest floor and ran back to the house as fast as our legs would carry us.
When we got back to the house, it was strangely quiet. Edward was in the living room with both babies in their bouncers.
"Where is everyone?" I asked Edward as I went over to pick Jackson up from his bouncer.
"Carlisle is in his office, Alice is in her room, Rosalie is packing the babies things to take them out somewhere tomorrow. She is taking advantage of the cloudy weather. And Emmett and I have had the hard task of trying to get these two to settle down a little bit." He said as he pulled gently on one of Lexi's feet. She giggles loudly and kicked Edwards hand away.
"Where does Rosalie think she is taking my children?" I asked Edward, while Jackson played with my hair.
"I'm not sure, she just said she was taking them out tomorrow." Edward said.
I love how she asks me if she can take my children somewhere. What was going to happen, I came back from a hunting trip later tonight and my children were gone.
"Well, this is the first time I have heard of this little…outing." I say darkly.
"Bella." Jasper warns from behind me.
"What? You cant tell me that you are happy with the fact that your sister was going to take your children out without you knowing." I asked him.
"No, I'm not happy about it, but it doesn't even matter does it." Jasper then turns to Edward.
"Bella and I have decided to go away for a while. So Rose will have to wait till we get back to take the babies out anywhere." Jasper said as he took Jackson off me.
"Oh, where are you going?" Edward asked us.
"Not sure yet, but we are going to pack a few things and go away for a week two. There are something that we need to talk about." Jasper said, glancing at me before walking upstairs to pack a few things.
"Everything ok?" Edward asked me quietly.
"Yeah, I've just have a bit of explaining to do." I said, as I went over to take Lexi out from her bouncer.
"Let me get her ready. This way you can leave that much quicker." Edward said, picking up the toys which lexi had been playing with in her bounder.
"Thank you Edward. I will be back in a minute." I said as I began to walk upstairs.
"…you can't just pack up and leave! How long are you going away for?" I heard Rosalie ask from out room.
"That is none of your business. If I want to take my family away for a while, I can. You have no say in what happens with my children. And I know this is the reason you are kicking off. If this was Bella and I going alone, you would be practically kicking us out of the house."
I could tell by the tone of Jaspers voice that he was angry. We hadn't had the easiest of conversations out in the woods, and I could tell that it had taken its toll on him.
"Don't exaggerate Jasper. Everyone needs to get away at time to time, I just don't understand why you need to take the children with you." Rosalie answered back.
"Because they should be with their mother. Excuse me for wanting my children to be with me." I said as I walked into the room.
"Really? Does that mean you are taking Charlotte with you as well?" Rosalie asked me.
"If she wants to she can come. Charlotte is old enough to look after herself. The twins, however, are unable to hold their own heads up. They need to be with me." I said, as I went into the closet and took out of the babies things, Just to illustrate the point that I was packing up their things to take them with me.
"Surly anyone of us could look after them when you are away. It doesn't have to be you." Rosalie smirked.
"Oh I disagree, it does have to be me. I am their mother. I don't remember you being pregnant and giving birth to them. Until this happens to you, will you please stop hovering over my children as if they are yours!" I snapped at her.
Of course, Rose had no answer to my remark, and left the room growling something under her breath. I know what I had just said would have hurt her, but I didn't have time for her right now. I had to focus on energy on this trip with Jasper, because I just knew that it would be intense once we started talking.
"I'm going to hurt her one day. If she keeps pushing me like this, I will hurt her." I told Jasper as I threw things into a suitcase.
"She will stop. Eventually. You know it is only jealously." Jasper said as he lay on the bed with Jackson, who had one foot in his mouth and the other held in his hand.
"I don't know if it is just jealously anymore. She is so protective of them." I said.
"Yes, but do you expect anything else from her? Do you expect anything less from anyone?" Japer asked me.
"No, but I can tell by the way that she looks at them. Its not normal." I said, as I took some of mine and Jaspers clothes, and put them in a case.
Jasper sighed, and I knew that he knew that I was on about. Rose didn't look at the twins like a aunt looks at her niece and nephew, she looked at them like I did. As if they were her son and daughter.
"Lets not get into this now. We are going away for at least 4 days. We can talk about this, among other things, later. Now come on. I do believe Edward has finished getting Lexi ready. Give me his coat." He said, gesturing to Jacksons coat which was in my hand.
While Jasper dressed my little boy, I went down stairs with the rest of the stuff.
Just as Jasper as predicted, Lexi was dressed and ready to go and sitting on Emmett's lap.
"Where did Edward go?" I asked as I put the case down and went over to the sofa.
"Kitchen. I think he is preparing the bottles for the twins for you trip." Emmett said, as Lexi snuggled into his chest. She looked like she was going to fall asleep.
"Oh, thanks Edward." I called into the kitchen.
"Its fine. You ready to go?" he asked as he handed me that babies food for the next few days.
"Yeah, I think so. We wont be gone long just a few days. I will call Charlotte when we are on the road, to see if she wants to join us. I'm going to say good bye to Carlisle and Alice before we go" I said, as I took Lexi from Emmett and went back upstairs.
I said a quick goodbye to both Carlisle and Alice before heading back downstairs to the car and put the babies in their seats.
"Well I guess that is everything. We will call you when we decide where the hell we are going." I laughed.
"Ok, just let us know you're ok. We will see you soon." Edward said as he gave me a hug.
"Hey, do you guys know where Rose has gone off too?" Emmett asked before he hugged me.
"I don't know. Do you know where she is Edward?" I asked, not really caring.
"Nope, haven't seen her." Edward answered.
"I'm sure she will turn up. We will see you when we get back." I said, as Jasper started to drive away.
It was nice knowing that we would be getting away from here for a while. There were a lot of things that Jasper and I needed to talk about that we couldn't do here.
As we got further and further away from the house, I began to feel a lot calmer. It would be nice not having Rosalie breathing down my neck about the babies for a few days.
Rosalie's POV
I can not believe this! How can Jasper trust her around those babies after know what she has done. She has killed people, and will probably kill someone again. What if she hurts one of them. Why doesn't he see that I am trying to protect Jackson and Lexi.
I will not let her weakness take them away from me. They should be mine! Bella had her chance at being a mother when she was human, why should she get a second chance, when I wanted it so much but never even had the opportunity.
I'm not going to wait any longer. I need to make sure the twins are safe. And the only way that is going to happen is if they are with me!
Ok, Rosalie has completly lost it. This is where i wanted this story to go, still not sure what i am going to do with her, but we will see. I will update As soon as i can, but it might not be for a while. starting work next week so i will only be able to write in the evenings.
hopefully i will see you soon.
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