Kalinda

I awoke with a kink in my neck. I groaned as I sat up and placed a hand on the back of my neck. For a moment, as I squinted and tried to get my eyes to adjust to the light coming in through the window, I tensed my shoulders and neck before tilting my head suddenly and sharply to one side, than the other to get it to crack. I sighed in relief when that was done and turned to look out the window as the late summer sun dipped inside. Despite my amazing and bizarre summer, it was nice to be home and still catch a fading glimpse of summer in England

Soon as I got home from Hogwarts, I wasn't even allowed to settle in when my parents dragged me to India where we stayed for about a week in Farah's home. Apparently Naveed, his wife Tilo, and their infant daughter Shabanu were visiting as well and we got to meet the newest member of the family. My cousin Darius and his now pregnant wife Manjula, were also visiting.

Farrah's house was huge, and this was my first time over and my first time in India in general. However, despite the fact that I stayed there for a week, I didn't get out of the house much as I was surrounded by family and really rather fond of holding and taking care of little Shabanu. It was also really the first time I met Tilo and Manjula. Both were very pretty and oddly enough, muggle. It seemed they also happened to be cousins and run the same shop, which only sold spices.

During one evening when my mother asked me what I was going to do with my life now, a discussion we'd had many times before, I told her that I wanted to travel and think about it. As much as a hard ass as my mother can be, she was fine with this. You see, what she wants more than anything for her kids is for them to be happy.

At some point, my cousin Rashaun dropped by and seeing that I was visiting and hearing that I wanted to travel, he invited me to stay with him, Pavais and Xerxes with them at their place. Apparently Rashaun had a two weeks vacation, so I spent it staying over with them. My visit was interesting to say the least and not simply because Rashaun took me to various places like the Taj Mahal and took me to the Ganges river, not to mention his favorite places around. They're life at home was rather interesting. Xerxes had a slew of girlfriends over and Parvais was always disappearing at night. I never found out what that was about as no one seemed to particularly care to ask him about it, as though they lived together, but maintained their private lives pretty separate from one another and didn't seem to care for invading one another's pirvacy.

Oddly enough, Rashaun didn't ever bring home a girlfriend. I asked him if he had one and said that he didn't as he hadn't found a girl who wanted him for anything more than... well because of his interesting job or looks and Rashaun was simply not interested in that form of relationship... he seemed to want something deep. He also did not seem to approve of Xerxes doing stuff with his girlfriends at their place. He told him that he could bring them over if he wanted, but if he was going to be having sex with them, than he had to go elsewhere as I was visiting. I thought it was cute that Rashaun seemed to want to protect me as though I were some innocent that had to be protected from being exposed to sex. Oh if he only knew.

I wrote to my uncle Amir in my last days there to ask him if it would be all right if I stayed at his homes while I traveled and stayed with my cousins while I awaited a response. Rashaun took me with him to the Dragon preserve, because he said he didn't like the idea of me being home alone. It was really fascinating in a exhilarating kind of way to see the dragons and watch the tamers dealing with them. They were rather fierce and for the first time, I really thought about what Rashaun and Xerxes did and felt worried for their lives. I'd never seen a dragon in person and never much thought of my cousins coming face to face with these creatures on a daily basis. I commented it to Rashaun once, and he merely chuckled and patted me gently on the shoulder, telling me I had nothing to worry about because they knew what they were doing.

A couple days later, I received a response form my uncle, telling me that he would arrive in India the following day and that he and my new aunt Sofia would join me on my travels. This seemed rather odd to me and I figured that my mother had written to my uncle and asked him to keep an eye on me. Apparently she didnt like the idea of me traveling around alone. Which I was annoyed at. Its not that I didn't like my uncle Amir, however, I didn't like the idea of spending time with a stranger... especially not if they were newly wed, considering that they were probably in the honeymoon stage of their relationship... and I really wasn't into PDA.

However, Sofia was not really what I expected. She wasn't by any means, a young thing as I expected, nor an astounding beauty. She was pretty, and elegant and a worldy woman as she seemed to know about everything, but she was nearly in her late thirties with thick, dark hair and large dark eyes. She was apparently a witch from northern Spain and had three daughters. One was remotely my age or actually a year younger than me, Lorena; one who was thirteen, Camila; and one who was seven, Nina; who we traveled with to Egypt, Italy, Spain, Jamaica, Brazil, and Hawaii, in that order, spending a few days to a weeks time in each.

Of her daughters, I didn't particularly care for Camila, who was a little cunt. Nina, was on her way to becoming another Camila, as she sometimes threw tantrums, but at times she could be rather sweet. As for Lorena, while just as conceited was... in my opinion rather strange and not in the benignly eccentric kind of way. In the kind of, crazy addict kind of way, though addicted to what, I'm not sure. I mean, swear to you, she kind of scared me and I'm kind of fucking hard to scare.

I mean, we were in their home in Spain, and she invited me with her friends to a night club. And it was all well and fine, hell I didn't even mind when she grinded her pelvis against me, because I thought we were just dancing. However, at some point we were making out, and well that's not really what bothered me because at the time I was pretty hammered. However, what freaked me out is that a week later, when we were in Jamaica, one hot night I woke up and she was sitting on top of me in a bra and thong, grinding against me. Before I could ask her what the fuck she was doing, she started kissing me.

At the time, I was kind of half-asleep, and when she started making out with me I was reminded of Professor Bell, who though I hadn't seen or talked to since school, I still had strong feelings for that refused to go away. I still kept thinking about her, missing her dreadfully. Because of all this, I responded to Lorena's kiss and its really no wonder why. I mean, Lorena had straight, chocolate-brown hair like her. Her eyes were dark like her mother's though and while she was pretty, she really didn't look like Professor Bell. Also, her body was much thinner as she was much younger than Professor Bell. However, in the dark and with my mind still shocked and not working at full capacity, I kissed her back and pictured it being Professor Bell.

When Lorena moaned and pulled away for a moment to attack my neck, she said I kissed deliciously in Spanish, which at the time I only barely understood after hearing them all talking in Spanish and learning things here and there. Besides, delicioso, rather sounded like delicious so I guessed that's what it meant. I then finally got my brain to catch up and shoved her the fuck off me and hissed at her to get the hell out of my room or next time she was asleep I'd sneak in her room and shave her bald. Lorena understood more of English than she could speak so she merely glared at me before scampering out of my room.

Most of the time we spent in Jamaica we spent most of the time at the beach, which was frankly uncomfortable for me because Lorena would just not stop staring at me. Oh and my threat wasn't the end of that. Lorena took plenty of opportunities to sexually harass me. One time, she even told me she didn't know why I resisted her so much when she knew I particularly enjoyed that kiss we shared in my bed. Being as my uncle was very fond of his new stepdaughters and doted on them, and being as Sofia was such a nice person, I didn't tell them that I thought Lorena was a sexual predator and that they should seek help for her before she got herself into serious trouble.

Besides, Sofia explained to me one afternoon when we had been in Spain that the girls' father abandoned them when Nina had been born and that Lorena had taken it the hardest. I figured that the girl simply didn't like feeling alone and that she didn't know that the love and affection she needed didn't have to be sexual. I made a compromise of sorts with her. I told her if she stopped sexually harassing me, trying to fondle me and kiss me, that I'd let her sleep with me in my bed and even cuddle with me. After that, she stopped hitting on me and it made for a more comfortable summer. And actually, without the lustful physical contact, it was rather nice just holding one another and sleeping platonically. She actually seemed quite content with that.

After visiting Brazil and Hawaii, we stayed a couple days in California in a hotel. We also visited Chicago and New York for a couple days, also staying in hotels before heading over to England where I finally came home. Uncle Amir said it was a pleasure to have me along, and Sofia said she was pleased to meet me and hoped I'd come visit them sometime.

Lorena looked rather sad about it, and I wasn't sure what to say. I told her not to try to fill the hole in her heart that her dad left with sex, because that would only serve to make the hole bigger and that I was sure she'd find someone who would treat her with love and respect that she deserved and to remind her of that, I gave her a portrait I made of her once when she was sleeping and I couldn't sleep. I took Andaleeb on my travels and whenever I could, I sketched the places and things and people I saw, effectively filling the remaining pages. Lorena was one of the most beautiful things I saw, despite that she was a little fucked up and had crept me out for the first half of the summer. I mean deep inside, she was a good person, just hurt and confused. I felt I had to draw her a couple times, and the picture I gave her looked was the one where she looked the most sweet, innocent and lovely. At the sight of it, she shed a tear of gratitude and gave me a hug.

Calla

Of course I knew I only had a week with him and that week seemed to fly by while I tried to grab a hold to cling on and stop it. I was unsuccessful so I tried to cherish all the free moments I had with Snape. I even kept the shop closed for the rest of the week, citing illness to Hum Tate. There were repercussions to that however. Hum Tate wasn't happy and insisted that after I got better that I take the time to hire some one else on so if I ever fell ill again, I wouldn't have to close down shop for the entirety of my illness. As much as I hated to do it, I had to cave but I decided I wouldn't worry about it until school started back up.

On the last day of August, Snape and I decided to go out to dinner, though Hogsmeade wasn't known as a culinary heaven so we had to settle for wilted sandwiches from the Three Broomsticks but getting out was getting out. Not that I didn't enjoy laying on my back with Snape for the most part but I found getting out in a different setting was a refreshing change and I thought that perhaps by being out in a public setting, I'd be less inclined to burst into tears which I was on the brink of doing.

Though I was depressed, the Three Broomsticks always had such a brilliant happy atmosphere. There weren't many people there, mostly just merchants from around town, having an after work drink or two to wind down. All the merchants liked to get together every once in a while to discuss business and to establish business partnerships. Sometimes I took part in said activities because I found I enjoyed a little human company that didn't involve me counting out change. Besides that, the merchants of Hogsmeade were a rather calm, joyful bunch of older people. The youngest was a girl who couldn't have been much older than myself named Emmy Rose who ran a book shop across the lane from Hum Tate's shop.

But that night was different. I couldn't really soak in the cheerful and friendly banter as well as I normally did. I kept getting these horrible sinking feelings in my chest, knowing that in the morning I'd have to say good bye to Snape until at least the next weekend.

"You could stay with me," I suggested to him after my second glass of wine. "The school isn't that far away. You could make a fairly easy commute every morning."

"I suppose," he said distantly. I saw him gazing over my shoulder. I turned around and saw Emmy Rose sitting down at the bar, laughing with an older wizard. It gave me a jolt to see him looking at her because even I had to admit that Emmy was extremely pretty with her curly deep rust colored hair and her fair skin with just a smattering of freckles. Unlike my horrible attempt at smiling, her smiles always seemed to reach her eyes, making the ordinary blue eyes seem to twinkle brightly. She was one of those girls you really wanted to hate because she was so damn pretty but her personality made it hard to do so. She always gave me a discount went I went into her shop which was also a stationary shop with all sorts of wonderful writing tools. It wasn't so hard to hate her now that Snape was staring at her.

"So does that mean you'll think about it?" I asked, trying to regain his attention.

"I don't know, Calla. You don't realize the amount of papers I have to grade on a daily basis. I'd be distracted. I'd like to see you when I'm not distracted."

"I could help you."

"I can't ask you to do that."

"You had no problem making me grade papers in detention," I said in a slightly snotty tone. I could feel my face tense as I began to frown deeply. He still was staring at Emmy. She looked over for a second and smiled awkwardly at us. I rolled my eyes and tried to control the urge to throw my glass at her or at Snape. I was on the brink of just getting up and leaving so I could return to my miserable existence with out him. Fuck the tearful good bye. If he was going to oggle other women in front of me, I really didn't want to waste my time.

"I could look into it but I'm pretty sure I'm obligated to stay within the confines of the castle during school days. I told you I would be able to make it here a couple of weekends out of the month."

"Just a couple?" My heart sank.

"It just depends on how bogged down I am." Finally he turned his gaze on me. He reached across the table and stroked my cheek slightly but I pulled away from his touch. He drew back from me as though I'd bitten him. "What?"

"You bloody well know what! You're planning on doing something with the slag over there!" I wanted to tell him but I couldn't bring myself to say it just in case it was all in my head. Even if he was staring at Emmy, I was pretty sure she was married and wouldn't dare touch the Professor.

"I think you're just making up excuses." I did actually say that out loud. He looked rather taken aback as though the thought hadn't ever crossed his mind. I wasn't stupid, however. "You could get away more often than that. You just don't want to."

"That's not true."

"Like hell it isn't!" I said as I stood. I was pretty angry at that point and didn't care if everyone was listening like they were watching some sort of sordid play for their own amusement. I wouldn't have cared if some one was holding an antennae up and was broadcasting the row all over the world. "Look, I know you get busy. I mean, I spent two years in detention with you, grading papers and I know it's a lot but you always had them done by the weekend. I remember quite well because I hated weekend detentions with you because you made me do the nastiest shit, like cleaning out cauldrons that have been sitting around for eons with out being cleaned. I also know you go detention happy just so you can have some one else grade papers! So don't sit there and go on about how bogged down you're probably going to be. I'm not fucking stupid!"

I didn't give him a chance to respond. I whirled around and tore out of the place, crying the whole way to my little efficiency. I hated crying and I hated it even more so because it was over a stupid man. It made me feel weak which I most definitely wasn't. Snape could kiss my ass!

If I were a better person, I wouldn't have let myself feel bad over him. I would've told myself it wasn't my fault and that he wasn't worth it. But I wasn't. I felt that he was worth it which was stupid but I was in love with him. Once I got home, I wanted to run back to him and tell him to just forget what had just happened and lets just make the best of the time we had left. I didn't have to because he had followed me.

"Get out!" I shrieked as soon as he opened the door. I looked around for something to chunk at him but nothing that was rather disposable was within reach. That was one of the downsides of living a minimalist lifestyle. If I were a pack rat, I'm sure dozens of ideal blunt objects would've been within reach. I made a note to start collecting plate or something that would shatter easily, painfully and had the potential to draw blood.

"No," Snape said firmly, shutting the door behind him. "At least let me say what I've come here to tell you then I'll be out of your hair. Forever if you like."

"Oh, steady on!" I sneered. "Yes, let's make this about you. Lets make Calla feel sowwy for poor Sevvy!"

He chose to ignore that. "It's not that I don't want to see you. It's not that at all."

"What is it then? And don't feed me bullshit either or I swear I'll cut your testicles off and force feed them to you."

Snape hesitated for a moment as that mental picture sunk in. He looked horrified, much to my pleasure. Boom. You've been mind-fucked, bitch.

"I..." He gave me a pleading look, as though he were suddenly desperate for some kind of telepathic connection so he wouldn't have to say his piece out loud. "I just don't want to ruin a good thing."

"What do you mean 'ruin a good thing?' It's only been a couple of weeks."

"I know and we've been with each other non-stop as well. I know it seems stupid but people need time away from each other to be able to enjoy each other."

"We won't be around each other constantly! We both have jobs. And in case you didn't know, distance can kill a relationship."

"It's not as though I don't intend on seeing you completely. I would really just prefer to take things a lot more slowly than what they're going now."

"And you couldn't have just told me all of this before?" I said, frowning. He had a point, I couldn't deny that.

"I didn't want to hurt you. I knew you were living in the now and I didn't think it would do any good to bring up the future because it would just upset you."

"Well, I'm a damn sight more upset now than I would've been if you had said something before! Jesus Christ!" I wanted to rip my hair out but I could feel the anger start to dissipate. I couldn't hardly be angry with him about staring at Emmy Rose all night either even though I shouldn't have let that go so lightly. If anything, that should've upset me the most but I found it difficult to hold on to. I was pretty sure Kalinda wouldn't be putting up with his shit but I didn't want to be another Kalinda because look at how that turned out.

"Let's just forget all of it for the moment and just enjoy tonight because it's the last we'll have for a while." Snape white-flagged. All I could do was nod and allow him into my bed for another night.

-

When Snape left the next morning, he left me with a long, lingering kiss with promises of seeing me soon even if it was just for a few hours. I stayed in bed for another hour, not sleeping but just being flat out miserable. I probably should've opened up the shop for the day but decided against it. One more day closed wouldn't make much of a difference. I opted to urge myself out of bed for a nice shopping trip in London, though I stayed away from Diagon Alley and kept to myself in Muggle London to do some clothes shopping.

Even though I didn't have much money and couldn't buy much of anything, it helped to mingle with complete strangers. Some of them might have had worse problems than I did at the moment and that thought helped me from submerging myself completely into the deep bitterly cold waters that was misery. The homeless man who badgered me for money surely had it worse than I did. The poor man smelled of pee and went on and on about how he was saving up money so he could get surgery to remove the chip the Russian government had planted on his person. Surely the poor bastard was crazy as fuck but I'm sure the cardboard box he slept in wasn't all that poorly maintained. He had a shitload of Muggle money in his collecting tin.

I found a little junk shop filled with loads of inexpensive useless crap that would be so much more useful taking up space in my sparse little home. As I was rifling through a disorganized box of useless inexpensive crap, I heard a voice that sent a tingling sensation of recognition up my spine. I didn't dare breathe for a moment as I listened to the voice as it wondered down the aisles, drawing closer and closer to me.

"Don't get me wrong, yuppies do serve a purpose in society but they stand in the way of us, the aspiring new poor, we the people who will one day take over and rule over them..."

I nearly gagged when Pierre stopped his sentence short and studied me. He was with a handsome young man who wasn't too much older than me.

"Hello!" I said, trying to sound thrilled but it probably just seemed like I was an over-nervous chipmunk with a bladder problem. I must've looked pretty desperate and I was desperate to get this encounter over and done with. You see, I'd left Pierre's place in the middle of the night while he was passed out. I didn't leave a note. I told him nothing as to completely separate my life from his.

"Don't I know you?" Pierre asked quizzically. I just gaped at him. How could he not remember me? "Oh. You're that girl I shagged for a couple of weeks. Clara, right?"

"Calla," I told him through clenched teeth. It wasn't as though I weren't already having a bad day but come to find out the boy I lost my virginity to didn't even remember my name!

"Right, right. Sorry. So how've you been?"

"I've been doing well. How is your mother?" I wasn't about to ask after his well being because he obviously did not deserve it, the prick.

"She's dead."

I froze, completely in awe of how unemotional he seemed by it. I knew he wasn't especially fond of the situation he was in, nobody in their right mind would enjoy that but it didn't seem like Pierre cared that his mum had died.

"What? When?"

"A couple of weeks ago. We buried her and I moved up here. I completed my apprenticeship so I'm starting work at a serious tattoo gallery. Slime Grime's. You've heard of it, I'm sure. Only the best artists work there."

"Er- no, actually I haven't heard of it but congratulations anyway."

"You must be completely out of touch," Pierre said with a heavy accusing scowl. I wanted to pop him in the mouth because he was such a waste of oxygen. His friend, who ever he was, seemed to sense that I was ten seconds away from pummeling Pierre and stepped forward with his hand out.

"I am Hans," he said as I shook his hand. He had a slight Eastern European accent, German more than likely, that seemed to have been groomed and assimilated. "I am Pierre's flat mate."

Pierre looked uncomfortable as he shifted from one foot to another, completely quiet for a good goddamn change. It hit me then that this Hans fellow was probably more than just a flat mate.

"Nice to meet you, Hans." I shook his hand quickly, already trying to plan an exit route.

"You smoke hash?" Hans asked casually. "Of course you do. All of Pierre's friends smoke the hash. It's a requirement." Hans laughed pleasantly at his own joke. I just stood there like an idiot, unsure of what to do with myself. "You should come back to the flat and smoke with us."

"I- ah..." I didn't really think it was such a good idea. If Snape were to find out, he'd have a fit. But I couldn't rightly turn down the offer. I had nothing better to do. "Ah, alright then. But I can't stay long."

I ended up staying at their flat for over four hours, getting completely baked out of my mind but it left me in a pleasantly mellow mood.

"I have a friend who grows," Hans explained. "Pierre was getting shit. Made me paranoid so I went to my friend and my friend tells me, 'Hans, you don't get high just so you can get paranoid. You get high because you want to relax and be calm. Smoke some of this shit.' He calls it Mellow Fellow. I've never bought any other kind since."

"That's nice," I said serenely as I gazed around the now hazy flat. It was extremely tidy which only further rose my suspicions that Hans and Pierre were lovers. However, there did seem to be two bedrooms but that didn't mean shit. They could've just been storing things in one or using it as a cover of some sort. "Where's Pierre?"

"Oh, Mellow Fellow always makes him sleepy," Hans said with a wink. "It doesn't really seem that you're all that concerned about him."

"But I am!" I protested. "I adore Pierre!"

"You liar. He passed out half an hour after we got here."

"Oh," I said. "I'm sorry. I'm being rude, aren't I?"

"It's alright. Pierre can be a tough pill to swallow. It takes a special kind of person to be able to tolerate him."

"You're telling me," I said and rolled my eyes.

"So, you're a witch, yes?" Suddenly, I was alert. Had I let something slip without realizing it? I did tend to run my mouth when I got stoned. "Don't worry. I'm a wizard."

"Oh, thank fuck." I felt immensely relieved. I didn't want to get a citation from the Ministry for breaking some secrecy statute. "Wait...how did you..."

Hans smiled and gave a hearty, pleasant laugh. "You've got your wand hidden in your sock. I saw you fiddling with it."

"Pardon the observation, but if you're a wizard, how come I never saw you at Hogwarts? You can't be that much older than me."

"I went to Durmstrang, of course."

"Durmstrang? Are you serious? I thought Durmstrang takes on a very anti-muggle stance. How come you're living with a muggle?"

Hans pleasant smile faded into a slight frown. "It's very difficult. Yes it is true that Durmstrang is anti-muggle but I've always found muggles fascinating. I was cruelly teased and discriminated against for that reason. I begged my mother and father to let me transfer to Hogwarts because Hogwarts offers a muggle studies program. I thought my views would be more acceptable there but my parents didn't think it was very sensible. And they were probably right."

"That's terrible, Hans."

"It never broke my affinity with muggles. In fact, it made it stronger. The problem is, my parents are supplementing me and paying for me to stay here while I figure out what it is that I want to do with my life but they're getting very impatient and are threatening to cut me off if I don't find a proper job." Hans slumped back into the sofa and gave a defeated sigh. "I want to go to a muggle university and study but I'm sure my parents won't approve."

"I have an idea," I said. "I run an apothecary for my grandmother and she's badgering me to find someone to help around the shop. Why don't you come work for me? That will get your parents off your back about getting a job and you can use the money to go to university like you want to."

Hans immediately lit up. "You would do that?"

"Sure. I like you. I think you're trustworthy and won't invade my space."

"You hardly know me."

"True I only met you a few hours ago but what better way to get to know someone than over a spliff? What do you say? You in?"

"I can't refuse, can I?"

"Sure you can refuse. But the question is will you?"

Hans shook his head and gave me a smile. "Calla, you are amazing. Pierre said you were rather dull."

"He said that?" I asked, feeling slightly stung. "No wonder he forgot my name."

"He didn't forget your name," Hans said with a heavy sigh. "He was just angry with the way you left him. He railed on about it for a while."

"So he was just being a twat when he called me Clara?"

"Yes, you could say that."

"I'm not sure whether to be angry or flattered."

"I'd be flattered. Being flattered is a much better feeling than being angry," Hans said as he started to roll up another joint. I watched him, completely in awe. I'd never seen someone twist up a spliff so fast in my life. Hans was an expert. "Shall we smoke to the new job?"

I picked up the lighter and held it up as he stuck the joint in his mouth. He held my hand steady as he puffed and lit it up. His hands were huge but extremely soft, which I found odd and I couldn't help but picture him running them up and down my body. From the first time I ever took Ecstasy, I developed an odd fascination with the way things felt on my skin. Most of the time there wasn't anything erotic about it but that factor sort of seeped in when Hans touched me, even though I was certain he was gay. I gave a slight shiver.

"Are you cold?" Hans asked through a cloud of smoke. He handed me the joint.

"No," I said as I took a hit. "But here's to your new job. Welcome aboard, Hans."

TBC...

Hades'Queen: As always, review.