Alright the title's a bit more obscure this time

Dunno why

Chapter 5: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!... eye.

*yawn*

"Oh god, I'm not sure what I'm more worried about; The fact that that was the best sleep I've had in weeks, or the fact that it was on a leather couch."

"I know, right? Anyway, we'd better get moving."

Ah, morning. Best time of the day, if you ask me. Even in summer, it isn't hot yet, but it's light enough to run in.

"Wait, shouldn't we loot the place for useful tech first?"

"...Good idea. I'll clear the way, you collect anything that seems useful."

Through our combined efforts of robot-smashing and item-collecting that I won't bore you with the details of, we managed to make off with an energy tracker, an instant small shelter (beds and light included), and what seemed to be a prototype hoverpack.

(My excuse for some of this "Science I pulled out of my ass" stuff is that the story is set a decade or so from now. Just so you know.)

"What's powering all this anyway?"

"Like I care. Now, let's MOVE!"

Ah, classic Bowen...

"...Uh, what was the plan again?"

2 for 2.

"Where Luke is, energy is, so we follow the largest energy reading we can find."

"Ohh, right. Also, can I have this hoverpack? You can jump easily anyway."

"Yeah, sure. It doesn't do much to lift you up, but if you can keep moving forward, it can have the effect of a hang glider."

"Huh... okay then."

"Now, let's see... largest energy reading in a 5 mile radius is...

Thataway."

I pointed to the tower.

"Eheh. Sorry. Next biggest in a five mile radius is...

There."

This time, it was in almost the opposite direction of the metal spire from us. Well, at least the tower didn't interfere...

"Hop on. I'm not gonna miss him this time!"

As Bowen hopped on, I charged my danmaku once more...

Only to have it fizzle out.

"Oh, come ON! Not NOW..."

This time, more effort...

...

HA!

"Hey, what's going-"

A thunderous bang interrupted his sentence as we took off at literal supersonic speeds, shattering the sound barrier in the process.

"WOO-HOO-HOO-HOOOO!"

And, once again, I had surpassed the capacity for speed on foot by virtually unmeasurable amounts, sending us barreling straight towards what we assumed was Luke's location.

After a bit more than 1 minute of running, we hit a minor hitch in our previously foolproof plan.

Hold up, is that..?

"Water!"

I might be an olypic-class runner, but I can't swim!

I immediately reversed the force of my power, skidding to a halt right on the edge of a massive lake and sending Bowen flying off of my back, flying off to the center of said large body of water.

"IF I DROWN, I WILL COME BACK FROM THE FUCKING DEAD JUST TO HAUNT YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR MISERABLE LITTLE LIFEEE~!"

"Well, at least the impact will be so-"

He landed on a horribly placed rock... island... thingy in the center, just on the edge of my view.

"Spoke too soon."

(Remember what I said about the perspective during fights from then on? This is now Bowen's POV. Only for the fight though.)

"Oh, son of a bitch..."

I swear to god I will shove my fist so far up his...

"Hold on."

I took a few steps back, making a double take as the water around me began freezing.

"Alright... whoever that is, come on out. You've had your fun."

"I'm not having fun! You're supposed to be SCARED! At least a little shocked!"

A little girl flew out of the thickening fog. Blue hair, blue dress, with few ice shards floating around her. If I were one for cute, I'd have expressed it by now.

"I'll go with the last one, but really now."

"Ha! Eye, the strongest, shocked you!"

Was that...? You have GOT to be kidding me.

"Shut up, before I shove my flaming fist so far down your throat you won't be able to feel your stomach."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Getting cocky now, little girl? Fine, I've been itching to fight something organic since I got here anyway!"

Aww. She's confused. Look at her, tilting her head like th- WHAT AM I THINKING STOP IT

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It probably won't mean anything to you, but I blew up a tower full of robots with my bare hands this morning."

Impressive pose time!

"And what have you done with your life?"

"Stop talking and fight eye, Cirno, the strongest!"

"Whatever you say, kid..."

-IIIIIT'S SHOWTIME!-

The little fairy kid pulled out a small card...

"Ice sign: Sword Freezer!"

Then it disappeared.

As it did so, Cirno's arm became encased in a very sharp looking icicle, while she posed for what she must have hoped was dramatic effect.

Nah.

"Let's see how your little icicle stands up to THIS!"

I pulled my arm back, readying myself to make a jump with all the force I could muster. Focusing my energy, I concentrated on my fist...

"HAAH!"

I flew into the air, swinging my entire body and creating a massive fiery arc behind my arm as it charged onward.

Come on, LET'S HIT THIS BITCH IN THE FACE!

She raised her frozen arm, just barely blocking the potentially lethal shot by sacrificing itself.

Aww, she blocked it with her sword... Well, at least the actual fire hit her...

Spiraling backwards, Cirno took a moment to adjust herself.

"You... No fair! You can't use fire, eye use ice!"

"You know full well it's impossible to change your danmaku."

"Grr..."

Oh, another card. What is it this time?

"Ice sign: Icicle Machine Gun!"

Cirno brought her arms together, shooting a stream of, you guessed it, icicles, in my direction.

"Really? Ice again?"

"You just said you knew you can't change danmaku!"

This time, I send off a few pulses of fire, blowing the icicles they DIDN'T melt way off course.

"You're not very strong, little girl. Might be the strongest fairy, but that ain't saying much.

"Grr!"

The stream of icicles begins shooting more rapidly, flying off in all directions as I continue to counter.

Through the storm of fire and ice, a random stray shot manages to come into contact with me...

...Only to phase right through?

Didn't hurt too much...

Come to think of it, shouldn't her face be a fire-retardant mass of scar tissue and bone right now?

Eh, screw it.

"Is that all? You've run out of ice? And I thought you had some power over it..."

"I'll show you! Freeze sign: Perfect Freeze!"

A huge blue shockwave flew out from her body. I braced for impact, but...

Nothing happened?

"Lot of good that "perfect" freeze did you! Now, let's finish thi- Wha?!"

My hands... They're frozen to the ground!

"It's the end for you!" Cirno raises her arms while clenching her fists...

"Ice cube: Perfect Crusher!"

Shit! My danmaku isn't working and a giant block of ice is gathering above my head! what do I...?

RUMBLE

"What..?"

Against my will, my arms flared up with a huge energy, bringing themselves above my head...

"MOLTEN SIGN: ERUPTION!"

Whoah. I didn't say that...

Suddenly, massive plumes of fire, lava, and rocks began to erupt from water and land alike around me, instantly smashing the cause of my imminent doom and torching that goddamn little girl all at once.

"NO FAAAIR!"

"What is it with you little kids and fairness?"

As she broke free of the grip of one molten vortex, the little ice fairy only wound up flying face first into multiple others, repeating the process until the point of making an agonizing scream as a huge shattering sound filled the battlefield.

-K.O.-

After a few more seconds of this carnage, things began to die down.

Small peices of lava, rock, and fire began to break off of the dying firestorm, swirling around in front of Bowen. Then, as fast as it had begun, they all pulled together, shining with a white light as they merged into a solid, flat object...

"Isn't is something like what Cirno used during the fight?"

As it became less bright, Bowen saw that the face of the card had a bronze-looking main part with a deeper-looking outline, a picture that looked like the attack with a golden border near the top, and a quick written description of the attack in the remaining space.

"Let's see now... "Molten sign: Eruption"... I summon a mass of flaming energy deep underground, harnessing natural heat to boost its power,

Then pull it all up simultaneously, engulfing the battlefield with rock, lava, and fire...

...Sounds about right."

"Dude! NICE!"

Bowen turned around just in time to see Ray land on the platform he was standing on.

"Ray? WHY DIDN'T YOU SHOW UP EARLIER?!"

"I just found a path of stepping stones to jump from, don't get so mad..."

"Eh, like hell you did! You were scared!"

"Scared? Of HER? HA! Didn't Reimu tell you about that joker?"

"What do you mean?"

"She talks big and acts big, but she never wins."

"Ugh. Are you telling me that I fought hard for nothing?"

"No, not at all! You just made your first spell card!"

There was a small pause.

"Spell WHAT?"

"Did you talk to Reimu at ALL when we were at the shrine? They're essentially danmaku with a more set form, but they're all incredibly powerful."

"You can't use too many, though, because a limit is usually set for the maximum before battle. Guess it was 4 in this case."

"Also, the condition for winning is breaking all the opponent's spell cards before yours are broken, traditionally. Also, I assume it was like this here. That shattering sound you heard was you winning."

"So, she wasn't the big energy we saw?"

"Nope. That's a little ways that direction."

"The fog's too thick to do anything... Let's just set up camp here."

"Good idea. Damn, the sun must be conscious of our activities or something. It always seems to set at the right times."

"Maybe that Yukari girl is doing it? you know, the one who presented you with the option to leave me and Luke here to die?"

"I don't think she can manipulate time, only space..."

"Oh. Alright then. Come on, get the instant shelter out."

"That's right, we did pick that up, didn't we?"

Ray took out a small white box with a single button on its top, and set it on the flat stone island.

"Ever seen one of these work?"

"No. You're more Luke's friend than me."

"Heh. Get ready to be amazed, and stand back!"

Ray pushed the button, jumping backwards as the bottom of the box spread out across the ground while its top rose upward, going around 7 feet in the air before its four edges extended into a slanted roof at the same time the walls came up to meet it.

Then, once the exterior creation was complete, parts of the shelter retracted back into the walls, creating windows and a doorway as two small beds slid out of the walls on either side of the modest shack.

"Okay. I'll admit it; Luke is an absolute fucking GENIUS. How does this thing even work?"

"Beats me. Anyway, we have shelter, light and beds included. It's gonna be a short and comfortable night."

They walked into the small hut just as the last bit of lingering light left the sky, draping the landscape with a deep shade of black as the frog's concerto resumed.

Searching...

Finding compatible servers and players near you...

Estimated time remaining: Too long

Players in queue: Literally over 9000

Empty servers: More than enough to fit the entire queue

Active servers: A couple hundred

Full servers: Around the 400-700 area

And that, friends, is why this was written.

Mann vs Machine isn't so much that as Mann vs Servers.

So, to pass the time, I wrote again. Whoopee.

You know the drill.