Baloo checked the manifest against the stacks as he made a last pass through the hold of the Sea Duck, ensuring the tie-downs were securely in place. It would be a full day, with four legs. First was a shipment of cocktail peanuts to the royal palace in Macadamia, then fishing gear to the Parks & Rec service at Lake Flaccid, medicinal roots and herbs to the witch doctors in Walla Walla Bing Bang, and then back to Cape Suzette.

He'd promised Kit that he would think about cutting Becky a little slack, and he had, but his thinking hadn't changed his mind one bit. Many times he had overreacted to something that Becky had said or done, but this simply wasn't one of those times. She had hurt him, deep down on the most primal level. And not just hurt him, denied him, as a friend, a lover, and as a man. He knew that his rage was less anger and more sadness, but the transference was the only way he knew how to deal with emotion of this power and depth. As far as he was concerned, she still didn't exist to him, and getting away from Cape Suzette and Rebecca Cunningham for a day was just what he needed.

"Hey Papa Bear," Kit said, stepping in from the open cargo door.

"Mornin' Lil' Britches. You ready for the day's run?"

An uncomfortable look crossed his face. "Um…not exactly."

This got Baloo's attention. "Whaddya mean, 'not exactly'?"

"Well, do you want the good news or the bad news?"

"Oh, no. I guess go with the good first, it might soften the blow a little bit."

"I think Miz Cunningham took my advice to try to talk to you."

"That's the good news? I'm scared to hear the bad."

"The bad news is, I'm not your navigator for this run. I'm running the office today."

Baloo stared at him blankly for a moment, the meaning of that statement not sinking in for a few seconds. "Oh, no. Kit please tell me you're not saying what I think you're saying."

"If you think I'm saying that Rebecca's planning on taking my place, then I'm afraid I can't do that."

Baloo closed his eyes and took a long slow breath, then turned and headed for the cockpit. "It's gonna be a looong day. Maybe I can get outta here before she gets aboard. Better hop off, Kit."

"Bad idea, Papa Bear."

"Better than the alternative. See ya tonight, kiddo."

He sat down in the left seat and flipped the switch that would close the hatch. He had already filed his flight plan, so he wouldn't have to go into the office one last time and tip Becky that he was about to leave. If he could clear the dock before she realized it, he would be home free. He completed his pre-flight checks, listened to the ATIS, then dialled in Cape Suzette ground control.

"Suzette ground, Sea Duck N-X seven four niner seven seven, pier four two zero, with delta, ready to taxi."

"Sea Duck, ground, morning Baloo."

"Morning Charlie."

"We'll have you cleared for a direct departure in a moment, stand by."

"Sea Duck, standing by."

He flipped the master on and listened as the gyros spun up. He should've started the engines by now, but he was waiting as long as he could.

"Sea Duck, ground, cleared to taxi and depart, pier 420, direct, contact departure point four, good day."

"See ya tonight, Charlie."

"Nope, worked the graveyard, signing off in just a few, it'll be McDougall."

"Then sleep good. Sea Duck, departing 420, direct."

He had replaced the Superflight 100s with the Pratt & Whitney Twin Wasp 1830s a few years ago. They were more powerful and more efficient, but they also took a lot longer to start. The Superflights sprung to life, the Pratts had to be coaxed. After ten seconds of cranking, number one finally fired and turned over, roaring to life. He reversed the prop for just under a second to gain momentum away from the dock, breathing an inward sigh of relief that he was going to make his getaway. But then the Duck jerked and stopped. He knew immediately what had happened. Looking out the windshield confirmed it. The bow line was still attached to the nose cleat.

He feathered the prop, which allowed the Duck to slowly float back towards the dock thanks to the reversing momentum imparted by the bow line, then got out of his seat, climbed out on the nose and released the line. By the time he was back in the cockpit, Rebecca was closing the starboard aft door behind her.

He sighed, reversed the Duck away from the dock, started the number two engine, then applied full power as Becky settled into the right seat. She knew exactly what he'd tried to do, but to her credit, she made no comment.

"Departure, Sea Duck NX74977, just off 420, headed out."

"Sea Duck, Departure, cleared through the cliff. Squawk one one four two, climb and maintain five thousand, vector 127 for traffic."

"1142, five thousand, vector 127, Sea Duck."

They sailed through the cliff and Baloo turned south-east to clear inbound traffic as instructed, then switched to the number two radio while still monitoring the departure frequency.

"Suzette Radio, Sea Duck NX74977, listening on 122.7"

It was a moment before Flight Service responded.

"Sea Duck, Suzette Radio, go ahead."

"Good morning, Suzette, this is the Sea Duck, off at ten minutes past the hour. I'd like to activate my VFR flight plan to Macadamia."

"Sea Duck, Suzette Radio, flight plan activated, no significant weather along your planned course, AIRMET Sierra for Clear Air Turbulence beginning at 1930 Zulu, Suzette Altimeter 30.15."

"3015, Sea Duck, good day sir."

A few minutes later, the radio crackled to life again.

"Sea Duck, departure, clear of the class Charlie airspace. Climb and maintain one zero thousand, contact Center 121.35."

"121.35, Sea Duck."

He briefly glanced at Becky out of the corner of his eye as he turned on course and checked in with Center. She was looking out the side window, so he risked a slightly longer look. She had obviously rushed out of the office; he was glad he had accomplished at least that much. She was wearing only her white turtleneck, which only served to accentuate her slim figure. He had always found her attractive (you'd have to be blind not to, and maybe not even then), but since the other night, even when he was pretending she didn't exist she was absolutely stunning. Heart stoppingly gorgeous. Flashes of the other night, thoughts of her body meshing with his swam through his mind. But they didn't arouse him; they only accentuated the loss, the denial, the feeling of worthlessness. His grip tightened on the yoke and he averted his eyes.

There would be no dealing with Miz Rebecca Cunningham today. As far as he was concerned, he was the only one on board.

The sun was setting behind them as they made their way back to Cape Suzette and the cabin was slowly becoming enshrouded with darkness. After a few minutes, the faint glow of the instrument panel was the only light remaining. Barely enough to make out Baloo's profile next to her.

She had not expected this day to be easy. But she had at least expected to make progress. She had not.

Baloo had been doing more than ignoring her since their night together. He was literally pretending that she didn't exist. And not just that, it was an Oscar winning performance. Someone with no background on the situation would wonder if she were a figment of their imagination. And that was no exaggeration. She had tried to help unload the cargo and interact with their customers in Macadamia, who quickly sensed (ironically) that a serious lover's spat was occurring and had scurried away.

At Lake Flaccid, he had astonishingly made a remark along the lines that the boxes floating out of the hold on their own astounded and mystified him, and said it seriously enough that the Parks Director had looked twice at her before also deciding that an interpersonal crisis was in the offing and quickly found somewhere else to be. She stayed in the cockpit in Walla Walla Bing Bang, scared of what the natives might make of the act. Throughout the trip she had tried to engage him in conversation, had tried to apologize, had tried to simply get him to acknowledge her presence. Nothing even made a dent.

She was scared now, moreso than she had been. She knew she had handled their unexpected coupling badly. She regretted the words the moment they left her mouth, but didn't know how to take them back. Perhaps she couldn't. And Kit had played it straight when talking to her last night. This simply couldn't continue. It would have to end, and soon. And badly, with the two of them never crossing paths again, now seemed to be the only way it could end.

She was staring out the side window, despondent, when a strange flicker caught her eye. She followed it as it passed to their right, brightening into a brilliant shooting star that flared like a firework before fading into the night. She started to comment on it, but then realized that Baloo could not have seen it, and wouldn't acknowledge her even if he had.

But then she decided to take it as an omen, instead. She took a slow, calming breath. Keeping her eyes on the stars out the window, she spoke.

"Baloo, you can play this game all you want. And you've made it plainly clear today that you can play it better than any Starrywood actor ever could. And I don't blame you for it. I only blame myself. But you can't not hear me. Ignore me, sure, but the laws of physics force you to be aware of the fact that I'm speaking. So please…please just listen for a bit. You don't have to acknowledge me, but please listen.

"I don't know what I could ever say to you…to fix…no, I know I can't fix…to maybe…maybe begin to make up for, what happened the other morning. I don't even know what to say to explain. I guess all I can do is try.

"I was scared, Baloo. Scared out of my mind. Aiden was the only person I've ever loved." She could hear her voice getting shaky. She tried to steady it, but couldn't. "And he was taken from me so suddenly, so abruptly, so violently, that I didn't think I'd ever love anyone ever again. And in the last few days, I've been able to explain to myself why every romantic relationship I've had since has failed miserably. Because I've wanted them to. Despite what I've said, subconsciously I've made them self-destruct." She sniffled and let out a small laugh. "At least when they haven't done it on their own." She took another long breath.

"Two months ago was ten years, Baloo. Ten years since Aiden was murdered. I looked back, and it seemed so long ago, but at the same time seemed like only yesterday. And the enormity of that came crashing down on me and I…I felt so alone. Two months now, and I've felt like the only person who exists. Even Molly, who looks more like him every day, seemed like only a photograph.

"But that night, you started to seem real. Maybe it was the wine, but just laughing and talking like we were, you started to seem real. And I just had to hold you, had to be held by you. To feel like I was real. Because I wasn't sure I was anymore. The whole world had become grey and washed out. And so I came to you. And when you took me in your arms, and I closed my eyes there in the darkness, for a brief moment I felt almost normal.

"And for the first time since he died, I felt like I could talk about Aiden to someone. And then I felt like I needed to talk about him to someone, and I knew I could trust you. And so I opened up. And I felt as though I'd cast off this incredible weight. Baloo I haven't slept that good for as far back as I can remember."

She was quiet for a moment, not quite sure how to proceed. She knew what she had to say, what she needed to say, but she wasn't sure she could. But she also knew that what was keeping her from saying those words was the same thing that had made her say the awful things to Baloo that had put her in this situation to begin with.

She glanced over at him. He was staring straight out the windshield and the formless sky, filled from horizon to horizon with a number of stars she only ever saw out here over the open ocean, far from land. She couldn't tell for sure, not being able to read his face in the dark cockpit, but she felt she might be getting through to him. She looked away again quickly, not wanting her attention to push him away again.

"I…I don't know how…to say this. I don't know if you can understand, Baloo. I don't know if you've ever loved someone…like I…and…and then…"

She took a long, shuddering breath.

"I had a boyfriend in junior high. The only one I ever had. My dad drove me so hard; I was always so busy. I never had the time. That lasted about two months. Like I said, I just didn't have the time for him. And I always wondered if things would have been different if I had been more experienced when I met Aiden. Maybe I wouldn't have fallen so hard, so fast. But then I realized that it didn't matter. It was what it was. And I loved him so much. I'm sure you're about sick of hearing that, but I have to be sure I emphasize it or what comes next won't sound like I need it to. And I need it to…"

She let out a cry of frustration and pounded her fist on the armrest, wiping her eyes with the other and continued to stare out the window. It took her a few moments and another long breath to compose herself enough to continue.

"So when we woke up the next morning, it just felt so right, and so natural. And so when we…well…it was good, Baloo. Great. It was my first time since Aiden, and up until then he was the only one I was ever with…that way. And when it was over, I felt like a starved woman who had just finished a feast."

She could hold out no longer. She began to cry, and cried hard. She had danced around it for as long as she could, and now she had to face up to the truth. Perhaps she shouldn't feel guilty. But she did.

"I'm sorry…I…"

She managed to reign in the sobs, and took another moment to gather in what little composure she had left.

"You got up and took your shower, and I curled up under the covers there, totally at peace, and then I realized...that I…I'm in love with you, Baloo."

And there it was. He managed not to look at her. When she started talking, he made up his mind that nothing she said was going to change things. But she spoke with such sincerity, and with such pain that he couldn't ignore her. He pretended to, trying to keep up the game. But she was reaching him. He still didn't understand what had happened that morning, why she had acted that way. Realizing that she loved him seemed like it would have a positive effect on the situation, not a negative one.

She was quiet now, and seemed finished. But he remained impassive, and after a few more moments, she continued. Her tone was different now. Flat, unemotional. As though she had drained herself because something of great emotional weight now threatened to crush her.

"But it wasn't that, Baloo. I could deal with that. Hell, honestly, I think we both knew it was possible. The way things have been between us since we met, it was almost inevitable." She paused another long moment. "It was…I thought…"

She stopped again, looking down at herself wringing her hands in her lap.

"It…it was better. I realized…that I felt more with you, the sex was more with you, that the idea of being a couple seemed more natural with you. That I…loved…you. More. More than anything I ever felt with Aiden."

Baloo was shocked. Completely unprepared for the enormity of what she was saying. It made the whole thing seem simpler and yet impossibly more complex. And he didn't envy her the torrent of emotions she was battling. The flatness had left her voice. She was struggling to maintain her composure.

"My heart sank. I was…I didn't know what I was. It felt like a betrayal. The worst kind of betrayal to the only man who ever loved me, the only man I had ever loved before. I tried to deny it, but it was impossible, not with the bed still warm where you were, the scent of you right there, when I could still feel the heat of you inside me. I…I panicked. Suddenly I felt naked…I mean I was naked, but suddenly I felt it. Naked with a thousand cold, accusing eyes staring at me. And I had to get out. Get away."

She began to cry again.

"I got sick. I ran into the bathroom and got sick. And then I came out after showering and there you were, setting the table, and that seemed so right, so domestic, I could almost see Aiden there instead of you. And guilt just washed over me, I was drowning in it."

He only realized that he was looking at her when she turned to look at him and their eyes met. She gave him a small smile.

"And you were so sweet, Baloo. Oh, you were doing everything right. And that just made it harder."

She looked back out the window, that momentary connection all she could bear.

"I ran. I panicked and I ran. And I said those awful things to you. And I didn't mean them. I wanted to be with you. I want to be with you. And I want to talk about it. Every day, like it's just a normal part of our lives. And I want to live our lives together. But above all that is this guilt. And I don't know how to reconcile it. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. 'Til death do we part', that was the vow I took. And I've kept it ten years longer than I was required to. But I still don't know how to let go."

She was quiet a moment more. Baloo wanted to say something, but simply didn't know what.

"Baloo…I'm sorry. You must feel as though I betrayed you, as well. And you're right to feel that way. I would take it all back if I could save you the pain. I never meant to hurt you. They say you always hurt the ones you love, well I guess I must really love you then, huh?" She laughed wretchedly as she said that.

Silence descended on the cockpit. The awful eternal silence of a tomb with the engines playing a continuous one note threnody. A few minutes went by and then Rebecca stood and took two steps towards the bulkhead door.

"I hope that…someday…you can forgive me. Someday."

She turned back towards the door, took a step, and then stopped at the sound of Baloo's voice.

"Rebecca…" He took a breath, sighed. "I want to say something but I…my thoughts, my feelings…I…I'm all jumbled up right now. That was…I mean you…"

"I just took a giant shit on you."

Baloo chuckled. "Yeah. Something like that. I just…need a little time."

She turned to look at him. He was turned around in his seat, looking at her. When their eyes met he extended his hand to her, palm up. She reached out and took it with both hands, rotated it palm down and raised it to her cheek. She held it there for a moment, then kissed it and let it go.

"All you need."

She turned and walked back into the empty hold, closing the door behind her.