A/N: *Yay* Here I am again! I'm free of school for three weeks, starting now, I feel so happy now :D. (Well, actually, I don't actually have a vacation for three weeks, one week is Autumn Break and the other two are exam weeks, but since I only have three exams in these last two weeks, I see it as a break as well :D)

So, how are you doing? I've replied to a few of you, but not to everybody. I think I'll do that later on, but I'm sorry if I didn't. I'm kinda busy with having a boring life, so, we'll see, right? :D

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Meh.

"But you can propose to her, right?"
"No!" Jane exclaimed, far too loud and that caused Rigsby to startle. Jane took in a deep breath – Rigsby hadn't done anything wrong – and tried again.

"I can't... I... can't. She's in danger, all the time. She's Red John's target. Proposing to her would be like putting a giant bull-eye on her forehead. I can't put her in danger more... I just can't."

Rigsby looked at Jane, getting his thoughts all sorted out. It was obvious that what Jane told Rigsby was not the truth, or not a hundred percent anyways.

"You know that Lisbon is an agent, right? She's always in harm's way-"

"But I don't want to lose another person I love," Jane said, almost whispering, and Rigsby took in a sharp breath. He really didn't want to have this conversation with Jane, it was too personal for his liking.

"You should think about it," Rigsby advised. "Whether you propose to Lisbon or not, it has to be what you think is right. You have to do what feels right for you. Especially after all that you've been through."

Jane put his head in his hands. "Since when did my life become so complicated?"

Rigsby shrugged and got up. "Since you fell in love with Lisbon. That's okay, happens to the best of us."

Jane snorted. Rigsby made it sound like it was as simple and ordering the wrong burger at McDonald's, which obviously, it wasn't. It was a little bit more complicated than that.

Lisbon was Jane's best friend. If he would propose to her now, he would lose that friendship. And if, in the end, it turns out that marrying Lisbon was not a good idea at all, he might completely lose her and that was something that only was allowed to happen in his biggest nightmares. He couldn't lose her, that would mean the end to Patrick Jane.

Yet Lisbon was the person that proved to him that he could love, that he wasn't an island and that he could move on from Angela and Charlotte. Even if it was difficult, it was important to him that Lisbon took effort in showing that to him. She was more his consultant than he was hers.

Jane straightened his back and looked at the ring once again.

"It is a beautiful ring."

Rigsby nodded. "It is."

Rigsby looked at his own ring, and sighed. "Let's just promise that we're never getting drunk again."

"And we won't discuss this again. I'm keeping my ring here, so that Lisbon can't see it."

Rigsby nodded, but Jane could see the hesitation in the young man's eyes. Jane didn't make sense, but when did he?

-YulianaHenderson-

"You won't be driving, Jane," Lisbon said. Jane pouted, and Lisbon rolled her eyes. "You're ill. And hung-over. I won't let you drive, especially not my car."

"My car then?" Jane teased, and Lisbon sighed in frustration, storming into her office and slamming the door shut behind her. Jane smiled briefly, before retreating to his couch.

"You shouldn't tease her like that," Van Pelt said. Jane shrugged.

"She's an easy prey, I couldn't help it."

As he closed his eyes, he couldn't stop his mind from wandering to the ring located in his attic. He really, really wanted to ask her, but he couldn't – shouldn't.

His right hand absent-mindedly touched the ring on his left hand. Would it hurt if he took Angela's ring off? And if it did, where? In his head, or in his heart? The uncertainty made him really scared because he honestly wanted to propose to Lisbon. The ever-lasting feeling of pure guilt in his heart restrained him from actually doing it, and not just only now. He had thought about proposing for at least two years now, and every time he looked at Lisbon that feeling only would increase. It was genuinely killing him.

He was the marrying guy, even though his last marriage was ruined massively. Just being boyfriend and girlfriend hadn't been enough for him with Angela. He had to know that she wouldn't leave him, and even though that even sounded selfish in his own mind, it really wasn't. He loved Angela, he couldn't stand being away from her because he was afraid she would get hurt when he was gone. He didn't want something to happen to her, and the first night that he left her alone had eventually resulted in her death. It just showed that he had to stay close to the people he loved.

He was afraid. Really afraid. Because crossing that line between 'colleagues' and 'potential lovers' was dangerous. Especially for them. With Angela, at the moment they got together, there was no serial killer luring at them. It had only been the two of them, and after nine months, they were already with three.

It was true. There was already a bull-eye on Lisbon's forehead. Engaging in any romantic – not to mention sexual – activities with her would instantly make that bull-eye grow. He couldn't have another loved one on the – rather – small group of 'deceased loved ones'.

"Jane," the familiar voice of the cute-as-a-button Senior agent snapped at him from a closer distance than he'd have anticipated. Being close to Teresa Lisbon while she was angry was so not a good idea. She had no reason to be angry, obviously, but she was and that was a fact that could not be ignored.

Jane hesitantly opened his eyes, and his breath caught in his throat at the absolute beauty of the pixy in front of him – she would definitely kill him if she knew what he thought about her. He couldn't help it: she was just so beautiful when she was angry.

"You coming?"

Jane groaned, thinking over the options he had. He could go with Lisbon, sit in her car and let her drive him to wherever they had to go to, and have the risks of an awkward conversation because he was still struggling with his feelings about his maybe/maybe not proposal.

Or he could stay on his couch and avoid her. Which was probably the best option right now.

He closed his eyes.

"Meh. I think I'm just going to sleep off my hangover."

Jane could almost feel Lisbon rolling her eyes, before she sighed out of pure frustration once again and left him.

"Keep an eye on him. And on Rigsby. Take them with you if you leave for suspects," Lisbon ordered, probably to Van Pelt, and a small smile appeared on Jane's face. Sweet Mother Teresa. Always protecting her nest.

-YulianaHenderson-

"Jane!" Lisbon exclaimed from her office.

"Uh-oh," Rigsby said, his voice muffled because his head was buried in his arms crossed on his desk.

Jane didn't move to show any interest in what Lisbon was about to say now – he already knew anyways.

"What the hell?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't play dumb, you idiot! Mrs. Ashwell just called me-"

"Ah, what did Chandra say? Did she leave a message for me-"

"She's suing you, Jane! What the hell did you do to cause this?"

Jane opened his eyes, looked at Lisbon, and then closed them again. He made a wave with his hand, and within seconds, he felt a sharp stinging on his chest.

"Ouch! Lisbon, what was that for?"

"That was for doing whatever the hell you did at that house. I need you to apologize for once, Jane. This could be my job that sees its end – or at least a terrible suspension. I should really look into my contract and find some way to break this connection between us."

Jane's eyes shot open and a smile immediately spread across his features.
"There's a connection between us?"

Lisbon's eyes widened for a split-second as she realized what she'd just said, it was just a split-second, but Jane wouldn't be Jane if he didn't see that. She then shook her head and walked to her office.

Jane shook his head smiling, before he crossed eyes with Rigsby and his smile faltered. Rigsby looked deadly serious, and Jane knew what he was thinking.

Apparently, Van Pelt had noticed because she coughed, causing the two men to turn and look at her.

She raised her eyebrows before she focused back on her screen. Rigsby narrowed his eyes at Jane, before he went back to his previous stance of burying his head in his arms. Apparently, he had either nothing else to do or he was as torn as Jane was.

Jane briefly touched his wedding ring again, before he got up and walked into Lisbon's office.

"Lisbon-"

"I'm not going to talk to you before you apologized to Mrs. Ashwell."

Jane rolled his eyes. "Now, Lisbon, isn't that a bit childish-"

"I'm not talking to you."

"Well, you are now, aren't you?"

Lisbon opened her mouth to say something, before slamming it shut.

Again, Jane touched his wedding ring. He sat down on Lisbon's couch, and looked at Lisbon.

How could he do this? He really wanted to. He had to find a way – he knew there was one.

He couldn't do it now, Lisbon was igno-

Wait a minute.

Jane froze. That was it.

He jumped up. "Call Mrs. Ashwell, I'm going to apologize."

Lisbon visibly startled, and she looked at him, ready to question his motives, but instead just reached for her phone and dialed the number.

-YulianaHenderson-

She couldn't believe.

Once again, Teresa Lisbon was flabbergasted.

She had no idea what Jane had done – hell, she didn't believe she wanted to know – but she did know that, normally, Jane would never, not over his dead body, apologize to people. Because he knew he was right, always.

He hadn't even properly apologized to her. She could not forgive him for that, she had felt horrible when he was in Las Vegas, away from her.

There was something going on in Jane's mind, she was sure of it. He would never apologize. So why now?

She fastened her seat-belt and looked over at Jane, who jumped into the car like some sort of overexcited little boy. When his eyes crossed hers, she as sure of it. There was something bothering him. And it had to be her-related, because he seemed to behave the same with the rest of the team.

Lisbon only noticed she was staring at Jane when he softly coughed. She blushed slightly, and averted her eyes, starting the car and driving away.

Jane kept quiet, eerily quiet almost, and after ten minutes, Lisbon was done with the silent treatment. She'd rather find out now than in her office at the HQ.

"Are you okay, Jane?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"You haven't said a word since we left the Ashwell house. You apologized to her, which you normally wouldn't do. And you are staring out of the window like you're pondering over becoming a monk."

Jane opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it and shook his head. "I'm fine, you need to stop worrying about me."

"I won't stop that until you tell me what's wrong with you."

"And there is nothing wrong with me, so there's nothing to worry about."

Lisbon sighed out of frustration, but then let the conversation rest for now.

When Patrick Jane said that nothing was wrong with him, everything was wrong with him.

-YulianaHenderson-

Jane sensed that Lisbon was looking at him from her office.

He knew that she could see that something was bothering her. She could always see right through him. He wished she wasn't so caring, it would make this easier for him.

He fumbled with his wedding ring.

He had to discuss it with her. He had to. He didn't have to propose already, he could just ask if she would want to give them a chance. He knew she had feelings, but that didn't have to say anything, now did it? It certainly didn't say anything for him.

He would tell her. But how?

A/N: Yeah Jane, how? (I'm asking this question because I've got no idea how Jane'll do this :D)

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