A/N: Okay, so you seriously have no idea how unsure I am about this chapter. Omigod, like, I've never felt this way before! I've been re-reading this chapter over and over again for about two days, just to see if there was a way to make it better but I can't make it better... The previous chapters were great, I was actually quite confident about them, but this one... It's getting a bit Angsty here, and I'm always a bit scared of that corner of FF (though I can't write a fic without it...) because I'm kinda in love with fluffy things... But anyways, it will be HIGHLY appreciated if you would leave a review after you're done reading.

And yes, I could've split this chapter into two different chapters, but there was not a good moment to do so, so I just left it this long. And this way, it's more fun for you, right? :D

I lately caught up with Sweeney Todd again. God. That movie is so epic (the 2007 movie from Tim Burton, with Johnny Depp *all hail*, Helena Bonham Carter *all hail*, Sascha Baron Cohen *all hail*, Alan Rickman *all hail*... I can go on with this for hours, so I'll just stop here :D). I'm even scared of how much The Mentalist looks like Sweeney Todd (I can't turn it because Sweeney Todd obviously was there first, and not just the movie :D)... In Sweeney Todd, Sweeney's family is killed, or at least, he thinks so, so he wants to have revenge on the person responsible and gets all creepy and all... *shudders* Sweeney Todd is just the same man as Patrick Jane xD. Anyways, making a AU-fic based on Sweeney Todd is not a very good idea because ST is kinda... dark. (*Spoiler*) Almost everybody dies in the end. You know, I don't want to kill of my favorite characters of all time (read: Jane and Lisbon) just because it was in the script of ST... Anyways, this is boring for you. Read on!

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. *pout*

Since when did his life become so complicated?

Rigsby looked at his beautiful young son, now almost one year old. He looked like Sarah in a lot of ways; beautiful green eyes, eyes he could drown in if he just stared at them long enough.

He felt the box burning in his pocket. He shook his head at Benjamin.

"Do you understand that, Ben? One moment, I'm completely happy with you, and your mother, and the other, I get drunk and say that I'll propose to Grace. Whom I broke up with a long while ago and am completely over at the moment."

There was a pause, and Rigsby chuckled. "I know, I'm not completely over Grace, but I'd like to tell myself that I am."

Rigsby sighed. "I'm sorry, kiddo, for telling you this. Promise me that you won't become like me when you're all grown-up. You're too good for that. I'll make you too good for that, I promise."

-YulianaHenderson-

It was nine in the morning, Jane and Rigsby were still not in the bullpen, and Van Pelt was starting to grow worried.

Cho noticed. He always did.

"They're somewhere doing stupid things," he deadpanned, and Van Pelt snorted.

"Aren't they always?"

"More stupid things."

Van Pelt looked at Cho intently, her head slightly tilted. "You're hiding something."

Cho looked up from his screen, and straight into Van Pelt's amber eyes. She really needed to know. Maybe Rigsby and Jane were in danger, they could be bleeding in some deserted alley outside town.

But instead, Cho just nodded and looked at his computer screen again. Van Pelt's eyes widened.

"Hey, you can't do that!"

"I did it. So move on-"

"You can't just confirm that you're hiding something and then not inform me about the rest! I care about them, Cho! I need to know what you're hiding, it could be life threatening and they could be dying now-"

"They're not dying-"

"But you don't know!"

"Grace, I know. They got drunk, they yelled that they would propose, Rigsby to you and Jane to Lisbon. That's all. They're not in-"

"That's all?! Oh my god!" Van Pelt exclaimed, jumping up. She hit her knee against the bottom of her desk, causing her to curse because of the pain.

Cho chose the opportunity to get up and walk to the restrooms. Van Pelt wanted to stop him, but was too late.

Rigsby wanted to propose to her? And Jane to Lisbon?

Well, she had to admit that the last one wasn't that much of neither a surprise nor a problem, they would be fine eventually. If only Jane and Lisbon knew how many people already suspected them to make passionate love in Lisbon's apartment.

But she and Rigsby? Na-ah. He had a family now. They could impossible be together, even though...

Even though she wanted that.

And now the problem was that she couldn't confront Rigsby about it because he needed to tell her himself. She couldn't tell him that she half tortured the truth out of Cho. No one could know, to be honest. For both hers and Cho's reputation.

And especially Lisbon couldn't know about Jane.

Because Lisbon was already on the edge of having a mental breakdown. This would be the last push over the edge.

-YulianaHenderson-

Lisbon shot a quick look at Jane's still form on her couch, just to make sure he was still breathing. He seemed to be sleeping, but he wasn't dead, thank god.

Seemed, of course, because Lisbon knew he wasn't sleeping. But she saw him breathing and that was the most important thing for now.

"So, Lisbon, what do you think about this case?" Jane asked, startling her. Jane opened his eyes and looked at her. He seemed to be determined and she wanted to know for what, but she couldn't quite figure that one out yet.

Lisbon also couldn't miss the fumbling at the wedding band Jane's hands were performing.

"Peter was an interesting person, wasn't he?" Jane asked. She was expecting him to wait for an answer, but apparently, that wasn't completely what he was looking for now. She knew he was fishing for a response and she wasn't going to play along.

"Care to elaborate? Because I have the feeling you know more than I do." Damn her, she could never deny him.

Jane smiled. "Well, I'm highly flattered, dear Lisbon. I know as much as you do."

"Which is...?"

"Peter was having an affair."

Lisbon's eyes widened. Yep, Jane was one step ahead of her, like always. "How did you figure that out?"

"He was married to Chandra, but he wasn't wearing a wedding band when we were at the crime scene. My guess: he was visiting his secret lover."

Lisbon frowned, and Jane sat up straight. "Okay... Is that it? I would've expected more-"

"Peter and Chandra were the bantering type of couple. They spent more time on teasing each other than really being intimate. Chandra was obviously wearing the breeches in their relationship, always bossing around and picking on Peter. Which he was perfectly fine with, because he loved her. But when Chandra found out about his alleged affair, instead of being angry, she was disappointed and started ignoring him. It tore poor Peter apart, because he didn't want Chandra to be like that with him. I know what you're thinking, Lisbon. 'He shouldn't have started that affair in the first'. Truth was that Peter didn't have an option. It was a means to an end, and if he could've done it differently, he would've done that. It's sad, right? One evil woman enters such a perfect relationship and destroys it from the inside out. Do you think Chandra would've given him a second chance if she knew the circumstances?"

Lisbon stared at him. They both knew he wasn't talking about Peter and Chandra anymore. She swallowed.

"If he had a damn good apologize, maybe."

Lisbon saw a slight twinkling in Jane's eyes, and she knew he was thrilled that she played along with him.

"I'm sorry, Lisbon. For Las Vegas. I know that's your top issue at the moment."

There it was, the truth. It slammed into her as if she walked into a wall, but unexpected. She hadn't seen the wall, maybe her eyes were closed while she walked.

Lisbon swallowed again, but the lump in her throat could not be swallowed away, not even by a pool of saliva.

"Do you think Chandra would like going out for dinner?" Jane asked, changing the subject again. That man was going to die one day. Not today, though.

"Yeah, I think she would like that, yes."

"Great, I'll pick you up at eight," Jane said, jumped up and ran out of Lisbon's office, leaving no room for discussion.

And now, Lisbon was panicking. She didn't want to go to dinner with Jane. Well, okay, she did want to, but she wasn't ready for that yet. That something that was bothering Jane was still there, and as long as it wasn't out in the open yet, she didn't know how to behave properly around him.

She looked at Jane skipping into the bullpen and falling onto his couch.

Whatever it was that Jane was hiding from her, it most certainly was going to destroy their friendship. And that was the one thing she craved now – his friendship.

-YulianaHenderson-

Jane closed his eyes and let a small smile appear on his face.

That tiny spark of victory, of satisfaction, was a feeling he had to cherish now. He knew that, from now on, his relationship with Lisbon was going to be completely different than it already was. Not that their friendship qualified as a normal one in the first place.

Whatever happened tonight, he was sure of that one thing: Lisbon was not going to be simply his boss anymore.

He knocked on Lisbon's front door, and smiled when it took a while for her to open it. Yeah, take your time, Teresa Lisbon, you can't avoid me forever.

When Lisbon opened the door, though, his jaw almost hit the ground.

There she was, Teresa Lisbon, dressed in a bright yellow dress. It was a simple one, it was obviously the only suitable dress Lisbon had in her closet, but she looked magnificent.

"Wow..." Jane breathed, for a second forgetting what his plan was, but soon recovered. "You look beautiful."

Lisbon, now highly self-conscious, was definitely regretting even playing along with Jane. If he was going to stare at her the entire night, this was a no go. She had to talk with him, and if the only way of doing so was to go along and have dinner, then she would comply. But him staring at her chest was not talking.

Lisbon was about to close the door and spend the night alone, but Jane put his foot between the door and the wall.

"Don't do that," Jane whispered. Lisbon swallowed, and looked into Jane's eyes. "You didn't need to dress up for me."

"Jane..." Lisbon whispered.

"We don't have to talk now, Teresa-"

"Actually, we do," Lisbon interrupted him, and startled Jane. "We do, Jane. Ever since you arrived at work with a hangover, you've been acting strange around me and I want to know what you're hiding."

"I can't tell you-"

"We're partners, partners don't keep secrets from each other."

"C'mon, Lisbon, I'm not keeping anything from you-"

"A few moments ago you called me Teresa. Now I'm Lisbon all of a sudden again? That's a bit strange, don't you think?"

Jane sighed, and guided Lisbon back into her apartment, shutting the door behind him. He wasn't going to have this conversation on the walk-way of Lisbon's apartment.

"Look, Teresa, I care about you. I really do. You're like my little sister."

No matter what Lisbon thought of their feelings, this was a slap into her face. This was even worse than that slap in her office that afternoon. She felt tears burning in her eyes, and she felt awash with emotions. This was too much. She had to get away now before she would break down and sob her all out – and no one was allowed to see that happening.

She wanted to turn around, wanted to avoid Jane's intense stare, but Jane prevented her from doing so.

"Don't turn away, Teresa. I know what you're feeling right now. Truth is: I've never had a sister. I don't know how to react with little sisters. Do... Do siblings do this?" Jane asked, and leaned down and kissed her. Lisbon gasped, but Jane swallowed it by softly pushing his tongue against her lips, begging for entrance. For a second, Lisbon thought about just giving in, just drown in Jane's arms and never leave, but she couldn't.

She gently pushed Jane away. "No."

"No, don't say no now, Teresa, please-"

"You can't do this, Jane. We can't do this. Be realistic for once, and look at the situation from another angle. How would this look like for Red John-"

"Don't start about him now!"

"I have to, Jane! He's still there-"

"And that's what prevents me from doing this," Jane said, stepped closer to Lisbon to claim her lips into another kiss, but she stepped backwards once again.

"Go away," Lisbon whispered.

"We still have dinner-"

"Maybe I don't want to have dinner with you anymore," Lisbon said.

"What, are going to starve yourself to death?"`

"Don't be a jerk. Just go away," Lisbon hissed and stormed up the stairs.

Jane was left alone in her living room, feeling defeated.

-YulianaHenderson-

Jane was standing in front of Lisbon's bedroom door, quietly listening to Lisbon's soft groans of pure frustration. She couldn't get to sleep.

And Jane just couldn't go away now. Not when they were about to leave for dinner and he had lost himself, kissed her, and Lisbon now moving away from him. He couldn't leave her alone. He cared too much about her.

He knew he had pushed it too much. Pushed it over the dangerous edge. His whole plan of subtly trying to win Lisbon's heart – which he had come up with this morning and was pretty proud of – was blown away by his stupid heart. Why was he so head over heels in love with his boss?

"Lisbon?"

"Go away, Jane," Lisbon said, but Jane had to focus to hear it. His heart broke. He had definitely pushed it. Time to make a new plan – a plan that did not include him losing control and kissing her.

He pushed open the door and was not at all surprised to see Lisbon on her bed, still in her dress, and her face buried in her pillow. Her current state was so un-Lisbon-like that it made him want to kill himself in the most cruel way he could think of.

Jane swallowed, walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge of the bed. When Jane moved one of his hand to Lisbon's shoulder, though, she flinched away from him.

"Why would you change our friendship, Jane? Why now? Now that I need your friendship more than anything?"

"I..." Jane stopped. There was no explanation for this. He was being selfish.

"I won't leave you, Teresa-"

"How do you know? You said that before, and you left. How can I know that you won't leave me now?" Lisbon asked, as she looked up at him.

"Because I just know," Jane said, and watched her reaction as he gently scooted closer on the bed, laying down next to her.

"Look, Teresa, I know that a lot of things are bothering you. And I feel sorry for putting them in your head. But you have to know that nothing I did in Las Vegas was not to torture you. I've got a selfish soul, I did not for one second think of the consequences on my actions. I didn't think of how much I could hurt you."

Lisbon flinched away from him once again when Jane moved closer to her, but Jane wouldn't have any of it. He only moved closer to her quicker, trapping her in his arms. Even though he had expected her to protest, he wasn't surprised when she immediately relaxed in his arms.

"Why?" Lisbon whispered, and Jane placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"Sleep now, Teresa. I've got you," Jane whispered in reply.

Despite what Lisbon had told herself, she couldn't help but suddenly feel save in Jane's arms. Her life had turned upside down ever since Jane had left for Las Vegas, and she didn't have the feeling that it could be fixed again but now that she was in his arms, she felt strong and happy. She let the feeling flow within her for a few minutes, then she fell asleep.

-YulianaHenderson-

He couldn't propose to her now. Not like this. She still had a lot of frustration inside her, and he couldn't blame her, obviously.

He looked behind him and saw Lisbon was, seemingly, peacefully asleep.

He walked downstairs, opened the front door and let the cool breeze touch his face, calming down the raging storm inside of him. It was more like a turmoil, an inner fight between 'proposal' and 'not proposal' – and he wasn't sure which alliance was winning.

When Jane was drunk, it seemed to be easier to make difficult decisions. Maybe he had to get drunk again?

No, that was a terrible idea. He wouldn't know what he'd done the next morning.

He soon felt a hand on his arm, and he turned around.

"I'm sorry Jane," Lisbon whispered. Jane shook his head.

"It's not your fault, Lisbon. It was all my fault. I thought... I thought that we could go there, that we were ready, but apparently, we weren't."

Lisbon sighed. "You are ready, I'm not. And that has nothing to do with you. I love you, Jane. I just need your friendship more than your love – romantic love, that is."

Jane nodded, looking understanding, while on the inside, he was dying. She saw him as just a friend. Nothing could hurt more than that, he was sure of it.

-YulianaHenderson-

Of course Jane was wrong. Which was the biggest shock of the century.

Lisbon had been ignoring him the entire day.

Since Jane had intended to pick Lisbon up for dinner, he'd come with his own car, and that meant that they could go to work in separate cars, giving Lisbon more space to pull back and avoid him.

After their little chat, Lisbon had gone to bed and Jane had been wandering in her living room a little longer, before deciding that what he didn't want to happen would eventually happen if he stayed there – Lisbon completely ignoring him in the morning – so he'd went home. Well, a motel.

And now, it was almost the end of the day and they still hadn't talked once. And that hurt.

Maybe Jane just had to live with the fact that Lisbon would ignore him forever. That she saw him as nothing more than a mere older brother – which, obviously, was his very own fault since he had planted the thought of them being siblings into her head.

He looked over at Lisbon's office, and was quick enough to spot Lisbon averting her eyes.

So perhaps there was still some hope.

-YulianaHenderson-

"I need to talk to you," Jane said to Rigsby, already walking to the attic. Rigsby frowned, but followed.

When they were upstairs, Jane let out a long sigh before explaining everything with three simple words.

"I kissed Lisbon."

Rigsby's eyes went wide. "You did what?"

"I kissed Lisbon-"

"I heard you the first time."

"Then don't ask it another time."

Rigsby sighed, and ran a hand through his short hair. "And... did she... you know... kiss you back?"

Jane shook his head.

"Well, nothing's lost. Did she push you away or something?"

Jane simply nodded.

"Okay, maybe there's more lost then... And why do you tell me this?"

"I thought that you might know what to do. You seem to be having trouble with Sarah as well, so you must know what to do-"

"I don't have problems with Sarah!"

"Deniability-"

"Look, I know that you're having a hard time, but I'm having a tough time as well. You can't just pull me into your attic and tell me that I'm having issues with Sarah like it doesn't mean anything. I love Sarah, she's everything to me, and I'm not going to let you destroy that. I care about Van Pelt too but I'm not going to play on my feelings for her, because that will cause all three of us and Benjamin to be hurt. I have no idea what you should do now, I'm not some sort of agony aunt. You're stupid and in denial yourself, and so is Lisbon. Just grow a pair and tell her exactly what you feel for her. You're not a child anymore, Jane, you're perfectly capable of taking care of your love life. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try and save my own," Rigsby said, and quickly walked out of the room.

Jane was frozen. Rigsby was never this direct.

But Rigsby was right though. Jane was acting foolish. No matter how much steps backwards Lisbon took, away from him, he just had to force himself up on her, take one step forward just as she stepped backwards. He had to act like a grown man and tell Lisbon how he felt about her. That seemed to be the only way to save them.

A/N: Yeah, so... I know, Lisbon is kinda OOC, but, you know, she has all this tension because of Lorelei, and the rivalry between CBI/FBI, and Mancini, and then Jane as well... I could totally imagine her being like this at home when she's alone. I'm sorry, Lisbon, no offense.

Anyways, as I said, I'm very unsure about this chapter... And this is genuinely not a way to get more reviews. I mean, this is, afaik (which is an abbreviation for 'as far as I know', for the people who don't know...), my most popular story ever, and I have this flaw that I'm kinda worried about what people think, and I'm afraid to let people down... or to disappoint them, for that matter... You can also PM me if your review is too negative (which I can completely understand), but just let me know what you think because I'm becoming pretty insecure here :D.