AN: When I write I'm usually always trying to improve and most times I'm not 100% happy with it, because then there would be no posts from me, but I feel a little disappointed with this chapter, I tried to change it a few times but this is the end result, any I hope you guys still think it's good. Enjoy and please review!

"And I could hear the thunder and see the lightning crack
And all around the world was waking, I never could go back
'Cause all the walls of dreaming, they were torn right open
And finally it seemed that the spell was broken"

-Blinding by Florence + The Machine

Chapter 5

It was a particularly long day for Guinevere, usually she enjoyed her work and did it diligently but today she was feeling lethargic, as if every step she took felt like five. Her mornings always started early, she was one of the first to start work, helping in the kitchen before taking breakfast up to Morgana, between doing all of the chores for Morgana and helping out here and there around the castle her day went by quickly. She only felt like this when she was about to come down with something.

She had promised Merlin she would take over his chores for the afternoon, as he had something to do for Gaius, and she didn't mind making up Arthur's bed. It was a chance to be close to him without anyone questioning her motives. It was exhausting to be in love with the prince she found, not for the reasons it should be rather the back and forth, the constant worry of discovery, and the biggest fear of them all was his marriage to some beautiful princess. She wasn't a fool, perhaps a little bit of a fool but not enough to let her heart be completely fooled by what this romance was.

She didn't doubt Arthur's love, no, it was simply that Uther would never let them be. The king of Camelot had plans, and he needed his heir for those plans, a servant with nothing to her name will never be part of those plans. She shook herself awake for the hundredth time that day and walked into Arthur's chambers. She knew he was training and for that reason alone did not bother to knock, though she imagined that Arthur was used to Merlin just barging in whenever he please. She smiled at the thought of her brave but silly friend. The young boy she once had a mad crush on because he defied a prince and stood up for what was right. Merlin was the best thing that could've happened to Arthur.

She took great care to put away his laundry, tidied his work table, and finally made up his bed with the fresh linen she brought up. She ran her hand over the fabric, there was something so exciting about begin this close to his bed even if he wasn't in it, something very domestic, as if the tasks she just completed were the ones that a wife would for her husband. He rested his head here every night, she wondered what he dreamt of, she pictured him here reading over some treaty or completing paper work that Uther had given him. It was in these quiet moments she sometimes let herself dream of what a life with Arthur, as his wife would be like. If they were just two people, no titles.

She sighed lifting her hand, no pulling her hand away from his bed and bringing to her chest to hold against her, as if she was burnt by the thing. She always pulled herself back before she delved too deep. But today she was feeling weak, all she wanted to do was be wrapped up in him. Be comforted by his warmth and close her eyes to dream. Suddenly on whim she sat down on the bed that she had made, just moments before making sure there wasn't a single crease. She felt her weight sink into the mattress, and wondered with flushed cheeks what it would be like to lay here with Arthur wrapped around her. She closed her eyes and envisioned him kissing her and caressing her, and the sigh that escaped her lifted the heaviness from within her just a little. She remained there with eyes closed, telling herself that she would move in a minute.

When she opened her eyes again, she felt a little disoriented, looking up and noticing the canopy of the bed curtains she almost gasped. She fell asleep in Arthur's bed! With any luck it was just for a few minutes and she could sneak out without him or anyone ever knowing. She tried to sit up, but her head felt as if it were a boulder, her eyes burnt, and her throat was parched. She was definitely ill.

"Don't move..." she heard him say softly, and her heart turned cold from a combination of fear and embarrassment. She didn't know what to do, heed his order or just get up apologize and run. She opted for getting up, with all the strength she could muster at that moment she sat up, and right away her eyes connect with his. He stood by the window, leaning almost casually against the wall, arms folded over his chest. He looked unhappy.

"I'm so sorry...I don't know what happened...I apologize! I'll remake the bed with some clean linens right away-"

"Guinevere!"

His voice was so stern, she didn't know where to look but at her lap. Oh for the love of Camelot she was still just idly sitting on his bed, she felt frozen for a moment, before she willed her body to start moving. But he was faster, he was standing in front of her, cupping her face between his large cool hands, oh how they felt nice against her burning flesh. When she looked at him, the anger still lingered in his eyes but they were softer, almost concerned. She opened her lips to speak, but once again he beat her to it.

"You're ill." He stated at first, watching her reaction. When she shook her head lightly and looked away from him pulled her gaze back to him, "Guinevere you're burning up. Why aren't you at home resting?"

She suddenly wondered if the anger was more for her being at the castle while ill than her falling asleep on his bed. "I'm fine, just a little head cold. I just needed to finish up your room, before going home. I'm sorry I did not mean to fall asleep here."

"You're not fine, and why are you doing Merlin's work?" he asked now his anger directed at his fool of a servant.

She smiled at him, "he asked me a couple of days ago, and I said I didn't mind. He needed to do something. It's what friends do, they help each other when necessary."

His eyes softened, then he did something almost shocking for Guinevere's fever ridden mind. He placed a kiss on her forehead gently and pulled her close to him. She hesitated for a moment before she wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest. "I'm sorry..."

She sighed but didn't move, she couldn't really. "What are you sorry for?"

He was still, his breathing the only indication he was present before in the most gentle voice she's ever heard he said. "I'm sorry you are ill and I can't do anything to make it easier for you."

It suddenly occurred to her that this was just as hard for him as it was for her, like her he couldn't show the affection that he wanted, something so simple as a touch or chaste kiss was a great feat. Her need to be there for him, to comfort him was the same for him. They were both bound by their status, slaves to it really, but even then some how they managed to love. At this moment what he was doing was enough said without words. Since her father died she felt more lonely when she fell ill, because when he was alive he was her support, he would make her tea, brush back her curls and smile at her warmly. But she knew that if she didn't have Arthur, Merlin, and Morgana in her life she'd be lonelier. They had become her family.

"You're doing more than enough now, and I'll be fine." she whispered. "Thank you Arthur for comforting me."

Her dream had come true that evening, he held her to him for hours, brushed back her curls and spoke gently to her about his day, and idle things. Brought her water and even held the goblet up to her lips, later he would slice up apples and share them with her. He cared for her as a husband would for his wife. His eyes full of concern and love for her, the no body servant girl. It was one of those perfect moments really where she was too tired and delirious from the fever and happiness to care about the consequences if they were caught. She knew then what it felt like to lie in a bed with Arthur, and with all her heart's might she hoped that one day she wouldn't have to leave it and sneak out in the middle of the night for it would be their bed. That they would have a life together, a shared home, and a family.

For those few hours in his arms, she didn't have to dream because she was living it.

She was ill, her head pounded. She ran behind a bush and retched, before she was faced with what was left in her stomach from the last meal she had. She brushed away the tears that the process produced. Taking a deep breath she turned to find Gaius standing behind her with the water skin. She took it from him and rinsed her mouth before taking a drink. "Thank you, Gaius."

The old man nodded but he did not move from his spot. "Gwen..."

"I'm alright Gaius, must just be nerves." She tried with a weak smile.

"My dear I've been a physician for too many years to know the difference. You are with child, I have suspected for a few days now." He simply stated as he would with any woman who displayed the symptoms. But he knew that this wasn't a normal situation and where there would be joy in the possibility of an heir, there was only grief.

She clutched her middle protectively and her eyes blurred with the tears that seem endless the last couple of days. "I suspected as well...but now I don't know if a child born midst all of this hatred is something I want, it's not something Arthur would've wanted."

Gaius stepped up to her placing a comforting hand on her shoulder, "my dear a child born anywhere at any time is a gift, it is the most natural magic there is."

Guinevere looked at him, she felt so hopeless, and helpless. "Arthur would've been so happy, I was so happy when I thought it so. The only way to protect this child is to make sure Morgana is defeated once and for all. But I fear that my quest is a futile one, for in the hopes of ridding the world of her, I might lose my child as well. I don't know if I can do this without Arthur."

Gaius sighed, "you must choose, but whatever it is that you choose you must take care." He realized the implications of Guinevere's words, if Morgana was hell bent on killing her because she was queen, an heir would be the biggest threat; for that child would have more right to the throne than either women. He suddenly felt aged and weary, his life dedicated to Camelot he never had children of his own. Merlin, Arthur, Morgana, and Gwen were like his children. The idea of a child out of the union of Arthur and Gwen warmed his heart, it should be celebrated, yet here they were worrying about a babe that hadn't yet come to the world but the odds were against it.

She straightened, "no one must know." Taking more water she handed the skin back to Gaius. "I need you to accompany Percival and the people of Camelot, they will need you."

"You need me, the future king of Camelot is growing within you." He whispered sternly. "You must care for yourself now, the babe needs you to help it grow."

"And I will, Gaius I have seen you treat women who were with child, and I have been around enough to know what must be done. This is not how I imagined I would mother a child, but however this is what is happening, I need to make sure that Morgana cannot hurt him and the only way to do that is to make sure she does not take another breath to be able to do it."

He folded his hand inside his robes and stood tall, "I fear for you Gwen, I fear you are being clouded over with your anger. These emotions will not be good for your child or you. Not to mention if you are injured in battle you will surely lose the child."

"My anger is the only thing holding me together. She has taken so much from me. I feel as if I am drowning in sorrow. Because of her my child will be fatherless, because of her the people of Camelot will suffer. She I fear is worse than Uther." A bite in every word she spoke. "I will have to take a chance with losing the babe, but there are things that must be done, things that Arthur would want me to do."

Gaius sighed, "I will not stop you from what you seek to do, just know that all Arthur would've wanted is for you to be safe, for his child growing within to be safe."

She looked at him intently before she could speak Gwaine strolled up to them. "I have acquired two horses. We shall ride when you are ready." She nodded at both men before she walked away from them. Gwaine watched her leave and looked to the older man. "She will not back down from this, I will protect her with my life."

"I know you will, but I worry for her sanity." Said Gaius looking at the younger man next to him, he wondered about Gwen's words but decided it was necessary that he tell Gwaine about her condition, a womb at any stage in child bearing is so vulnerable. Even if Gwen thought she knew what she was would be sacrificing, if the the child died she would not be able to forgive herself, it would drive her to madness if she wasn't already there. "Gwaine you must protect her from any and all harm no matter the cost. She is with child."

Gwaine opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out, his eyes widen at the news. His heart sinking at the realization that it was for that reason Gaius was so adamant about changing her mind or accompanying them. His jaws tightened at the thought of Gwen's recklessness, yet he couldn't blame her for what she was feeling, for putting Camelot before herself. "I vowed to Arthur, and I will keep my word. I shall let nothing happen to while there is a breath left in me."

Gaius nodded, "you must be at her side at all times, make sure she cares for herself. I feel consternation at what she might become. No one can know of her condition. Gwen has always been one who has been able to forgive, to love no matter what, but I fear losing Arthur might have left her with little kindness."

Gwaine smiled then and placed a hand on Gaius' shoulder, "she is full of kindness that woman. If there is one thing Guinevere is that is kind and loving." His usual playfulness back in his eyes for a second, "Lady luck has always been on our side, she will be on our side now. And that child is blessed because he is already loved by many."

Gaius chuckled softly, if there was anyone that was resilient at surviving it would be Gwaine. He knew he could trust the young man to try his hardest to keep Gwen safe, but the worry didn't lie in his ability or loyalty, it was just the very real fact that Morgana was more powerful than any of them alone.

Guinevere called everyone's attention to announce what was decided, what she decided. They gathered like sheep for what more could they do? Because together there was a chance, alone there was no one. It was human nature to want to form bonds and band together for survival. "I cannot promise you anything at this moment, I am afraid that I don't have the power to offer just things, but what I can offer you is a chance. Sir Percival along with the few soldiers we have among us and Gaius will escort you to Caerleon. You shall seek refuge there while Sir Gwaine and I gather allies to take back our home, our Camelot."

They listened, they cheered, but she wasn't convinced so she offered the out, "I am your queen, but I will not keep anyone who does not want to follow our path. If there is anyone who wishes to go free, you have my consent, but I can not offer you anything more. Prepare to leave immediately, we can't wait here for Morgana to discover us. I wish all of you a safe and uneventful journey, trust Sir Percival for your King trusted him." With that she stepped away, her throat dry once again.

Percival approached, "I have to ask you one more time to reconsider, come with us, we can offer the people safe passage then we can gather allies together."

Guinevere folded her hand in front of her but she smiled as he remembered her when she was happy. "You must do as I ask. We will see each other again, we shall fight side by side to take back our home for those who we love and for those who lost their lives for Camelot." Even in her tunic and trousers she looked regal, every bit the queen. "Be safe my friend."

He kneeled in front of her, "and you my queen, take care." It was then did he feel her cool but strong hands on his shoulders, she smiled at him and helped him stand once again. He knew there was hope for he saw it in her eyes, she wasn't completely lost yet.

She walked towards Gaius and embraced the older man who has been like a father to her. "Thank you for all you've done for me. The care and concern you spared me. Take care and I pray we will see each other once again."

He held her before she pulled out of his embrace, "I have faith in you, I know you will be successful." He then pulled out a two vials and handed to her, "take this one and it will curb the sickness some, and this one will give you strength."

"Thank you, I wish you a safe journey." She said taking them from him, with that she walked towards the horses and placed the vials in the sack that was already packed there. Pulled the hood of her cloak up and mounted the horse. She looked at the camp that was slowly being pulled apart and packed away, her people once again torn and having to start over. Watched Gwaine say farewell to Percival and Gaius with affection. She felt full of purpose yet she still felt empty. She felt heartbroken that even with the knowledge that she had Arthur's child growing within she still felt such misery.

"Ready?" Gwaine asked as he rode up next to her.

She looked at him and nodded, "Yes." With that they rode toward east, she told herself over and over again that this is what Arthur would have done. Yet she doubted herself, she doubted that she stood a chance against Morgana, all she knew was that Morgana needed to be stopped, for the sake of her child.

TBC

Please Review!