Chapter 11- Just Be Honest About It
Kagome's POV
I stormed through the door, fists clenched. I turned and kicked the wall next to the door.
"Ow, ow bad idea." I whimpered, while nursing my foot.
I angrily limped away from the apartment to the car, only to realize I didn't have the keys. I groaned and leaned up against the car before sliding to the ground. I couldn't believe this. I couldn't believe the way he talked to me. Part of me had hoped that what transpired between us back then was more than just a stupid bet. I felt my eyes begin to sting. I held my head up and looked towards the sky, I wasn't going to cry, not out here, not over him.
"Kagome!" I heard his voice. I ducked down further on the ground and prayed he didn't see me. He walked over to where I was and looked down at me.
"Damn." I muttered to myself. My luck was uncharacteristically horrible today. I rolled my eyes and sat up, looking up at him, hoping couldn't see I was hurt. "What do you want now?"
"W-why are you down there." He asked, backing up a little.
"I was hiding." I confessed. I got up and brushed my dress off. I was done lying, it hadn't done anything to help me thus far. "What do you want with me?" I repeated, trying to conjure up some attitude.
"Honestly, I don't know," He replied, looking to the ground "Something just told me to follow you so I did."
"Something like guilt?" I crossed my arms. He shrugged and got quiet. "If you're done, I'm going now." I started to leave
"Hold up," He called, reaching out and grabbed my forearm.
"WHAT?" I snapped and whipped around. I didn't want him touching me. I didn't want him near me. I was his quick payday after all. I felt nauseous. I was ready to give him a real verbal lashing until I saw his expression.
"I'm sorry." He whispered, just loud enough for me to hear. He looked me in the eye and I could tell he meant it.
"Sorry doesn't cut it." I replied, my resolve waning.
"I know it doesn't. I just wanted you to know I really am. What I did back then was dumb and I'm sorry." He dropped his gaze and looked down to the ground.
"I'm glad you know that, but it doesn't change anything, Inuyasha. What you did back then, two words doesn't fix anything. It isn't like you stepped on my foot, or bumped into me. I loved you back then. I really thought, you loved me too." I felt my eyes begin to burn again, my chest tightened. I looked over at the car, tracing the lines of the rear-view window.
Inuyasha's POV:
This time I wanted her to push me, hit me, call me heartless. Anything would have been better than seeing this expression on her face. She looked so damn broken. I reached out to touch her but she jerked back.
"I should go back." She said, but didn't move. It was now or never, if I let her go now, I doubt I'd have another chance to tell her what I wanted her to know.
"No you shouldn't." She looked up at me, her eyes cloudy.
"Kagome," I took a breath. "There's so much you don't know about high school."
She cocked her head to one side.
"How do you mean?"
"I mean I lied, well not really well a little but…" Damn it all, the words weren't coming out right, or at all for that matter.
"Quit stuttering and start explaining." She said anxiously
I sighed. "Maybe we should go back to the apartment." I stalled. I hoped in the time it took us to get up there, I'd have the right words. I just had to be honest. Honest, right, that's about as easy for me as a dog laying an egg.
She nodded in agreement.
As we walked to the apartment, I noticed how some people watched us, whispering about her running from me. Buncha nosy spinsters, it's bad enough we had them at my place. Can't two people fight in peace in this city?When we got back inside Sango and Miroku quickly turned from whatever they were doing to us.
"Ah, I see some peace has been restored." Miroku remarked, as we walked in.
I rolled my eyes at him, Kagome ignored him and gestured for me to follow her to her room. I realized that my stalling hadn't helped at all. The words were nowhere to be found. I blame the nosy old people.
She sat on the corner of her bed, she pointed to the computer chair, and I sat down in it backwards.
"Now explain." She stated.
"Okay, well I didn't lie exactly; I just didn't tell you everything." I paused
"Like…" She added impatiently.
"Me dating you really was a bet at first and you were just a way to make some quick money,"
"I was really hoping this was going to sound better."
I ignored her comment and took a deep breath. I was going to tell her this time.
"But after I realized who you were underneath that fuzzy hair and bifocals, it started getting harder and harder to keep up with what was real and what was faked. My relationship with Kikyo started to feel like a farce. I thought that if I proposed to Kikyo that it'd be easier, and it was," She slightly cringed. "For a while."
"For a while?"
I exhaled loudly, God, she asked a lot of questions. Can't she just connect the dots? I got up and turned the chair around so that I was sitting in it the right way.
"A-Am I the reason you moved?" She asked scooting down on the bed until she was closer.
I shrugged
"You owe me an explanation." She sounded more like she was begging rather than demanding.
I ran my hand through my hair. Damn, this is harder than I thought it would be.
"I couldn't stop thinking about you and what I had done to you. After a while I…started…missing you…" I struggled with the words as the emotions from the past began coming up like bile.
"What are you trying to say?" Kagome asked in an almost hopeful tone.
Right then Kikyo's face flashed in my mind, and I knew it wouldn't be right. If I hurt her again she would really never talk to me again.
"Nothing." I replied flatly, turning my back to her.
"Nothing? That doesn't sound like nothing."
"You heard me I'm saying nothing." I stood up to leave. Why did I open my big mouth?
"Don't you walk out of here!" She marched up to me hands on her hips. She almost looked funny. Though I was sure if I laughed she'd probably kick me in the shin.
"What the hell do you want from me?" This is exactly why being truthful sucks. It always brings up more questions that are to hard to answer.
"What are you bipolar? One second you're acting all normal and talking to me like a human and now you're acting like a-a spaz monkey!"
I looked at her and blinked. I forgot how weird things came out of her mouth when she got flustered. I fought the urge to smile.
"What the hell is a spaz monkey?"
"I-I don't know exactly, but you sure are acting like one." She reinforced weakly.
"Wow, so I'm guessing in all the books you've ever read in your life you couldn't find a better insult than spaz monkey?" I started to chuckle. I couldn't help it, between the insult and the look on her face and her stance, I couldn't take her seriously.
She blushed. "Leave me alone you got me all mad and I couldn't think straight." She pouted a little before laughing with me.
"Suddenly her face got serious and she looked me in the eye.
"Why can't you just tell me the truth?"
"Because the truth fucks everything up."
"Or maybe it's all the lies that you keep stacking. You can only stack so much before it all falls down."
"It's complicated." I ran my hand through my hair. She did have a point, if I hadn't pulled that bucket to save face, I wouldn't be in this dilemma.
"No you're just making it that way." She was getting frustrated.
I couldn't look at her and broke eye contact. She moved so that I had to look her in the eye.
"Just tell me." She whispered. She already knew what I was trying to say. She already knew it, I could see it. She just wanted to hear it. She reached out and took my hand, and moved closer. She looked so fragile. It wasn't until now that I realized how beautiful she was. Hell, she was cute 3 years ago but now she was breathtaking. Can't tell her that though. I reached out my free hand and touched her face. I moved until there was nothing more than an inch between our faces.
"You want me to finish the story? You want the truth? Fine, here it is." I closed the space between us and kissed her. She threw her arms around my neck, mine going around her waist. It was like getting into a time machine, back to that perfect night we spent in her room. I didn't want to let her go.
"INUYASHA!" A shrill voice cried out. We jerked away from each other, and turned to see Kikyo, standing in the doorway. It was quite clear, that she was incredibly pissed off.
End of Chapter 11