"Miss? I believe you dropped this."
Mona turned to the source of the voice, her hopeful smile illuminated by the ethereal blue moonlight. However, as she cast her gaze upon the newcomer, her smile gave way to a look of unsettled surprise.
"Oh."
The nightly cheer and laughter of the Angel's Share echoed around Mona as she waited for her drink, absent-mindedly rapping a finger against the wooden bartop. Eventually, Diluc turned to her with a cordial nod and set down an ice cold Berry and Mint Burst before her.
"Cheers," she said, raising her glass. "It's rare to see you managing the tavern yourself, Master Diluc."
"I have to check in on this place every once in a while," he said, now polishing a glass. "Especially now that your houseguest has become a regular patron."
Diluc's tone was as casual and respectful as possible, but Mona knew there were other things he was itching to say.
"You needn't worry about him, Master Diluc," she said, waving her hand. "Honestly, when's the last time he's caused trouble around here?"
There was the sound of shattering glass from the depths of the tavern, followed by someone shouting, and someone else cursing in the Inazuman tongue.
Diluc frowned thinly, his veneer of professionalism starting to crack.
"You should go and calm down your...acquaintance," he said, not bothering to dilute the venom that seeped from that last word.
Mona nodded, giving a tired groan. She swivelled off the barstool and crossed the tavern in three swift strides, approaching the blue-clad figure standing next to a table, scowling at an equally furious-looking adventurer. Wine was falling in steady drops from the remains of a glass on the table, pooling into a red stain on the floor.
"You knock into me while I'm having my drink, and you have the gall to demand that I apologise, insipid filth?"
"Pal, if I bump into you while you're wearing that enormous thing, nobody can call it my fault. Take that dumb thing off!"
The Wanderer closed in on the adventurer in one stride, a threatening gleam in his eyes. The sound of wind began to howl around him-
"Scara - ugh, Wanderer!" Mona shouted, grabbing him by the wrist. The raging gusts promptly ceased as his eyes snapped to her. "I know the Traveler personally requested that you be given the right to walk freely around Mondstadt, but that doesn't mean you get to do whatever you want, you idiot!"
"Oh, am I not allowed to stand up for myself now, Megistus?" he retorted, throwing his arms out wide.
"Keep your temper in check or someone else is going to do it for you," she snapped, glancing behind her shoulder; Diluc was watching their exchange like a hawk.
"I'm not stepping down until this bumbling pile of humanoid sludge-"
"What did you call me?!" the adventurer roared.
"Dear me, what's all this commotion?" A third, sing-song voice joined the fray. "Any louder and you might wake Stormterror himself all the way in the west mountains!"
The bard Venti floated towards them from the staircase, grinning dreamily as he held a bottle in his hand.
"Bard! Get this sorry excuse for a man to apologise to me!" The Wanderer demanded shamelessly, like a king giving orders to a servant.
Mona raised a hand to her forehead, wondering why this man was so adamant on making an enemy out of everyone he spoke to - but to her surprise, Venti just laughed.
"Now, now, the tavern is a place for making merry!" he said, winking at the Wanderer. "To sour the air with such petty squabbles just won't do! Hmm...why don't you buy each other a drink? Just as a little peace offering!"
"Hmph - fine!" said the adventurer, turning his nose up defiantly. "Wolfhook juice for me."
"Get me anything," snapped the Wanderer, tipping his hat over his eyes as he scowled.
Wow, Mona thought. He stepped away from a fight within three minutes? How cute. He was learning.
Looking satisfied, Venti whirled around to face the bar.
"Well, you heard these two fine gentlemen!" he called out to Diluc. "Ah - and one more bottle of apple cider for me, please!"
"Certainly."
Behind the counter, Mona could see Diluc scratching a tiny notch onto an already staggeringly long ledger.
The adventurer turned and stomped back to his table, while the Wanderer threw himself back onto his seat, resting his face grumpily on his closed fist.
The issue now resolved, Mona took a seat next to her 'houseguest' as Diluc put it - though they both knew that their relationship was anything but - and sipped her minty drink in silence. She stared at the Wanderer as she did so, wondering how long it would take for him to notice and get all flustered this time.
After about a minute, he finally caught her staring. A rich shade of red crept across his cheeks as he scowled and lowered his hat. Mona chuckled to herself.
Meanwhile, Venti had resumed his seat at the foot of the stairs, strumming his lyre and singing.
"My dreams stretch far beyond the sea,
The gold horizon calls out to me-"
He was interrupted by someone yelling from a corner of the tavern.
"Ey! Bard! We've heard that 'un four times tonight! Give us sumfin' new!"
Venti gasped and pressed his hands over his heart in mock anguish.
"Oh, woe is me! Have my classic rhymes already fallen out of favour?" He grinned and said, "Fret not! I shall compose a new tune in no time! Come back and hear it in a few days!"
The tavern soon returned to its usual state of tipsy rowdiness, but the Wanderer remained removed from the general cheer; he was staring silently out the window, oblivious to the steady trickle of cold water running down his glass and dampening his hand.
Outside, a troupe of dancers was rehearsing on the empty street, moonlight cascading onto their ghostly forms as they flowed like silk through the night.
Their dance was nothing like those of the Wanderer's country of origin, more closely resembling the styles popular in Mondstadt and Fontaine. Their lead dancer, the most intricately dressed, controlled her limbs with such finesse that she appeared almost like a mechanical construct.
Like a ballerina doll.
The Wanderer's mind drifted back centuries, to that fairytale he once heard from a sweet boy whose face he had regrettably forgotten.
"Had that tin soldier not burned...would he have kept on waiting for happiness forever?" he mused.
"Hm?" Mona said beside him.
"Nothing. It's stupid," he said, downing the rest of his drink. "Just another meaningless fairytale with a depressing ending."
"What is it with you and fairytales lately? You prattle on about them all the time."
"Do I really? I've been thinking about my own life, I suppose," he said, still gazing out the window, lost in thought. "I'm trying to reach my happy ending, but I have no clue how much longer I have to walk."
"This is reality, not a fairytale, Wanderer. Quit losing yourself in children's stories."
"Are children's stories so bad? Children always get happy endings in fairytales. Wouldn't it be nice to live knowing all your struggles are temporary?"
"I wouldn't know. We Mondstadters love writing fairytales about witches and giants that cook and eat children."
Her response elicited a short laugh from the Wanderer.
"But since we're on the topic...take a word of advice," Mona suddenly frowned, her expression grim as she gazed at her drink. "Don't believe you're destined to live whatever ideal life you've got floating around in your head. Should fate decide to hand you a bad ending, it'll sting less if you can accept it."
"Oh?" The Wanderer raised an eyebrow. "Do you think I can't forge myself a happy ending, then?"
"Trust me. I've read so many fates, begged so many people to face reality - only for them to brush me off like I'm some child playing fortune-teller with a pack of cards. Nobody actually wants to know how their story ends, they all just want to believe they'll have a happy one. So you shouldn't hope for perfection. Besides..."
She reached below and found his hand, gently entwining it into hers.
"...wouldn't you say you've already found your happy ending?"
The Wanderer's lips curled into a smirk.
"Let's not get full of ourselves, Megistus," he said, though he reciprocated with a squeeze of his hand. "My story is far from over - I have places to go and a promise to keep, as certain as I am that that second one's going to go up in flames. When I get my happy ending, there will be far more to it than you."
"Mm...then at least write me into the epilogue, won't you?" Mona said with a sweet smile. "Or the climax if you're feeling generous."
"Speaking of 'climax'..."
The Wanderer leaned in towards her. She could detect the scent of wine mingled with his hot, needy breath. His fingers danced tensely over hers.
"...do you wanna head home now?"
Mona shuddered violently, her spine arched back in a crescent, before she fell forwards onto the Wanderer's chest, feeling a cosy warmth despite the lack of a heartbeat to accompany it.
"Hah..."
The Wanderer brought his hands off her hips, allowing her to slide off and lie down beside him, her arm lying across his chest. After a moment of silence, she leaned over and planted a kiss on the Wanderer's cheek.
"Do you have any plans tomorrow night?" she asked. "We haven't had dinner together in a while since I got hired to write that new astrology column."
"Ah...the Traveler wants me to explore some ruins with them tomorrow night. You know how it is; I am still indebted to them."
"Are you saying you prefer the Traveler over me?" she asked, now tracing her finger along the blue lights ran across his torso.
"Aw, jealous? Don't worry, when there's something I like, I don't let go of it until I must. So no one's taking you from me...Megistus."
"I'll hold you to that...Wanderer."
Mona suddenly felt a jolt of irritation, one she had felt many times before in recent days, and she struck her lover in the chest with her fist.
"Ow! What's your problem?!"
"That title is so stupid! Do you know how embarrassing it is to tell people I'm in love with someone who doesn't have a name? Hurry up and come up with a proper one already!"
The Wanderer scowled. "Tch! A decision of such magnitude demands both time and deliberation. What if I end up with a name as stupid as yours?" He grinned as he dodged another strike. "Besides, I decided on one just yesterday."
"Oh!" Mona was pleasantly surprised. "Well, let's hear it."
The Wanderer beckoned her with a finger. "Come a little closer."
She leaned across the bed. In response, the Wanderer arched his neck so that his lips were next to her ear. His breath felt hot with anticipation...
Mona flinched as he flicked her on the forehead.
"Ow!"
"I'll tell you when the time is right," he chuckled, lying down and turning his back to her. "You'll be glad you waited."
"Hmph! I bet it's something boring, anyway," said Mona, doing the same and facing her curtained windows. "Now don't bother me, I need to get up early to talk to a client tomorrow."
She closed her eyes and relaxed her breathing. Below her, she felt the bedsheets move as the Wanderer turned to face her. Though she couldn't see his face, she could tell he was gazing at the back of her head as he frequently did.
Hiding a contented smile from his gaze, Mona soon fell asleep.
The Wanderer awoke the next day to gentle sunlight streaming in on his face. Still half-asleep, he reached out needily, only to be disappointed as he felt lifeless air and the crumpled fabric of the bed.
He finally opened his eyes. So Mona did leave early. At least she had opened the windows for him; she knew he liked the morning wind.
He climbed out of bed and got dressed, taking a while to find all his clothes strewn on the floor. Once he had gotten everything on, he reached onto the counter for his Vision - his heart which he had finally received after five hundred years.
He took a minute to gaze at its beautiful surface, adoring the white wings of freedom etched upon splendid turquoise, watching sun-flecked dust swirl around its radiant surface, as if it were simply too grand to be sullied.
Smiling, he affixed it to his amulet above the Shogun's feather.
Ah, he recalled. That kitsune from the shrine will arrive any day now.
He thought back to the promise he had made to Yae Miko - the promise that kept 'Scaramouche', 'Kunikuzushi', and 'Kabukimono' still chained to the history of this world...
"Is there anything I can say to convince you otherwise?"
"No, kitsune," spat the Balladeer, his hand raised high before the divine tree. "Just scurry off back to Inazuma. You'll soon forget that I ever caused you any trouble."
"Trouble has never bothered me. I find that life can be quite boring without it."
"Stop annoying me with your pointless rambling!" The Balladeer shrieked, glaring over his shoulder at her. "What do you want?!"
"I want you to reconsider your decision...for the sake of my Archon."
The Balladeer let out a laugh of pure mockery.
"As much as I want my dear mother to suffer, her troubles too will vanish the second I'm done here. Even the gods' memories are connected to Irminsul, so she'll happily forget everything I've ever done - forget she even created me."
"Maybe. But she will still remember creating something. Something that will pain her to think about, unable to comprehend why she cannot recall its identity."
"Good! Then maybe she'll understand how it feels to-"
"She's never once harboured any malice to you, prototype."
Miko vanished in a flash of purple, reappearing between the Balladeer and the divine tree. He stepped back.
"Ei has been aware of your actions for a long time now. She has also been trying to understand your feelings, even though she still dares not reach out to you. I have spoken to her many times about this, and she does indeed hope for a reconciliation with you, believe it or not. I don't think it's fair for all her hard work to go to waste just because you want to run away from yourself, don't you agree?"
The Balladeer rose to her provocation, glaring at her with unbridled venom.
"If you feel so strongly about this, then stop me yourself," he snarled.
"Regrettably, I have no power over you. I can't force you to step away from this tree - but I'd still like you to make me a promise, prototype."
"Spill."
"Leave now, and I will come to find you when Ei has mustered up the courage to see you again. I want her to have the chance - just one chance - to talk to you the first time in five centuries. If that doesn't go over well, I will not stop you from removing yourself from this world's memories. But I hope that by the end of all this, you two will look at each other with something other than regret or loathing."
The Balladeer didn't respond, not bothering to conceal his look of defiance and doubt.
Miko gave him another push.
"Surely you are familiar with wanting a second chance? Otherwise, could you explain why you're standing here right now?"
Finally, the Balladeer sighed.
"Deal."
Afterwards, he had discarded his old identity and followed the Traveler back to Mondstadt, then they had dragged him to that stupid event where he had his unexpected reunion with...
The Wanderer smiled. He would never admit it to that crafty fox in a thousand years, but he was thankful she stopped his reckless decision - he didn't know if he would be this happy now had he not come across Mona again.
He stepped out into the morning sunlight, the cobbled street of the city warm beneath his feet, and he breathed in the rich air as he had begun doing ever since he was placed in Buer's guidance. He wondered why it had taken so many centuries for him to discover this simple joy.
He set off down the street, in his hand a Sunsettia he had taken (stolen) from Mona's countertop. He paced down the street, his clothes dancing in the winds that this nation so worshipped...and he was eternally grateful to command.
As he walked, he observed the people around him going about their day - shop owners, knights, people hunched over empty barrels after one too many hours at the tavern, a silver-haired girl with a Vision...and a small group of children huddled over a picture book, a depiction of a maiden in a golden carriage etched across its pages.
I wonder how many of these humans are satisfied with their own story? he thought to himself.
As he passed by the Cat's Tail, still lost in thought, he heard a voice coming from Good Hunter that brought him back to reality.
"...and that's my entry for next month's horoscope. I do apologise if my diction is not advanced enough, this is my first time writing a column for a paper as distinguished as-"
"No, no, it's perfectly fine, Miss Megistus," said an airy male voice. "I can have editors smooth it over. Ah, that's right - your payment..."
Half-hidden behind a lamppost, the Wanderer watched the eccentric-looking man who was currently sitting across Mona at one of the restaurant's tables.
He was tall, wearing a dark green coat and trousers that faded to whitish grey at his feet, looking like a forest in the night with dense mist swirling at the roots of its trees. A tiny arrow was tucked behind his ear, keeping his long golden hair out of his face. His eyes were like slits, through which green points of light shone out.
The Wanderer's jaw tensed. He had seen many men with a similar face throughout the centuries - and he found that almost all of them turned out to be untrustworthy.
"I look forward to your continued assistance with our magazine, madam," said the man, smiling lightly as he handed Mona a bag of Mora.
"Thank you, Mister...um..."
"Leraie."
"Oh - are you new to this magazine's team? I have a stack of several issues and I don't recognise your name in any-"
"Let's not talk about that, I have to leave soon. Although..."
His smile raised the corners of his lips.
"...if I may make a small request, madam - can you read my future?"
"Of course." Mona straightened her back and shook her sleeves professionally. "Would you like to know when your next windfall will be? Or what sort of people you ought to avoid in the coming days?"
"Tell me as much as you can."
Mona's face fell. She shifted in her chair, wringing her hands absent-mindedly.
"It is generally...ill-advised...for an astrologist to tell her clients any heavily consequential predictions..."
"I assure you it will be fine." Leraie's eyes glinted. "I'm the sort of person who controls fate, rather than the other way round."
Mona scowled, before quickly rearranging her face. The Wanderer caught it though, and he could tell what she was thinking: "Why are some people so convinced they're infallible?"
"Well? I'm waiting, madam."
The Wanderer finally had enough - he burst from his hiding spot, leaping over Good Hunter's fence to storm towards Mona's table.
"Hey, weirdo," he spat, over the angry shouts of Sara behind the counter. "Don't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do?"
Leraie smiled at him, clearly unthreatened.
"And who might you be?"
"I am called - uh..." He glanced at Mona, whose lips were taut with mild embarrassment. "...that doesn't matter. If you're done here, you should leave."
"No, no, it's fine," said Mona. I'll...I shall read your future. But I shall also withhold information from you should I deem it fit."
"Very well."
Summoning her scryglass, Mona caused a deep blue light to shine upon the table and nearby walls. She gave a wave of her hand, and stars rippled across the water's surface - but they looked indistinct, scattering around like fireflies, refusing to settle into a single constellation...
Mona's eyes were fixed on her scryglass, her brow creased in bewilderment, but the Wanderer looked at Leraie, noticing that he seemed oddly satisfied with this occurrence.
"Um...I can't get a good reading," Mona said with a cough, causing the sparkling waters to vanish with a wave of her hand. "Perhaps the stars are feeling belligerent today."
"Ah, you're holding yourself to your vow, I see," said Leraie.
"What? No, no, I really couldn't seem to-"
"I can take a hint." Leraie got to his feet, fingering the arrow behind his ear. "It was nice working with you, madam."
And with that, he walked, almost drifted, down the street towards Mondstadt's gate.
The Wanderer stared after him in silence for a moment. And then-
"Gah!" he yelped as Mona kicked him in the leg. "What was that for?"
"Nice going, idiot. You might've just cost me an enormous payday. I was banking on him coming back next month."
"Fine, I'll make it up to you!" He tipped his hat over his eyes. "But aren't you a little suspicious of that human?"
"I...suppose he made me a little uncomfortable."
"It's not just that! Don't you think it's funny he seemed to know you couldn't read his fortune? Why couldn't you read his fortune?"
"I have no clue. The stars have never been so indistinct when I command them to reveal their secrets."
"Could he be an artificial creation like me?"
"Impossible. Even you have a constellation."
The Wanderer gazed quietly in the direction of Mondstadt's gate.
"Don't go looking for him," Mona warned. "Best leave him alone."
"Yes, yes, I know. I don't want any more enemies."
He lowered his hat, turning to the gate.
"I'm going to spend some time alone."
The Wanderer stood at the edge of Starfell Valley, overlooking the rippling waters of the rivers and lakes as birds sang in the nearby trees. The city had been reduced to the size of the dollhouse in the distance. The Wanderer raised his hand out - the sheer vastness of calming. He had no need to think about anyone he didn't want to-
"I hope I didn't anger you."
Angered, the Wanderer merely spared the newcomer a brief glance. Leraie drifted across the grassy plain to him, arms behind his back.
"Leave," the Wanderer stated plainly once he was close enough to hear him.
Leraie merely came to stand beside him, overlooking the sea as well. For a moment neither person spoke, with only birdsong continuing to whistle in the trees.
"Are you happy with your life, sir?" he asked.
"I'm not your friend. I have no need to entertain you."
"Are you happy with your life, sir?"
"Are you deaf, fool? I told you-"
"Are you happy with your life, sir?"
The Wanderer's bravado finally wavered, causing him to look once again in Leraie's direction. His green slits bored into his eyes, causing him to look away again.
The Wanderer swallowed, hoping it looked inconspicuous.
"I am satisfied...for now."
"So have your ambitions not been fulfilled?"
"An ascendant being must always set his sights higher."
"Hm. An interesting philosophy. But I must say, you seem remarkably content with mortal life, son of Beelzebul."
The sounds of birdsong stooped.
The Wanderer turned his head so quickly that his neck hurt, staring at Leraie through wide eyes.
"How do you know who I am?"
His Vision began to glow, fierce gales whipping into existence around him.
Leraie merely chuckled, his eyes closed again in mockery.
"Are you seriously threatening me with the weapon I played a part in giving you?"
The Wanderer shrieked, "Explain yourself now!"
"Come now, surely you didn't think we'd give you that gift for free? After you dared to breach the barrier between us and all the insignificant beings of this world? After you dared to believe you could ascend to our domain?"
Leraie opened his eyes ever so slightly, those previously green slits now glowing an ominous red.
"You know who I am now, yes?"
The Wanderer nearly turned and fled in crushing fear.
"H-Heavenly Principles..." he breathed.
Leraie's mouth curled into a smile.
Pain shot through the Wanderer's eyes as the world distorted around him. He screamed as the sky turned a sickly green, and the horizon turned like clay in a spinning mould. The cries of a thousand crows rang out in the distance, growing closer - now around, above, inside him - and despite him slamming his palms over his ears, the accursed symphony only grew louder, disorienting him and causing his knees to buckle.
Scowling, the Wanderer let out a cry of rage. He summoned a whirling gale at the bottom of his feet, launching himself straight at Leraie. He turned in mid-air, throwing at him his most powerful, wind-infused kick-
Leraie merely raised a finger, and the raging gales dissipated as though swallowed by a void. An iron knot formed in the Wanderer's throat, and he looked at Leraie in horror, for he knew, but could not accept, what was to come next...
The Vision on his chest began to rattle. The winds he controlled, so masterfully as though they were his own limbs, were wiped from his command as he fell to the earth, yelling out in pain as he struck his head. And before he could catch his breath to beg, his Vision was ripped from his amulet, floating as though on a thread of air to Leraie's hand.
"No! Please!" The Wanderer shrieked. "Take anything but that! You vile-!"
Leraie's lips curled, taking a sadistic delight in watching the Wanderer cry like a child. Then as the Vision drifted to his palm, he swiped his hand across it as if batting away a fly - and the Vision disappeared in a shower of turquoise lights.
The Wanderer froze with his eyes wide and his arm outstretched. He wanted to scream, curse, fight this wretched god - but he knew there was nothing, nothing he could do...
His fingers curled as his hand sank to the ground.
Why do I always...?
He watched as Leraie brushed down his coat, his job flawlessly completed.
So much for my happy ending.
He blinked. Leraie had vanished.
Mona...I'm sorry.
His eyelids began to droop.
Wait...who's...?
His world turned dark.
Hi, friends.
So, you have no idea how well the stars aligned for me while I was thinking about writing this fic. First, I wanted to write about Scaramouche choosing a new name - one related to Mona - and then revealing it to her. Next thing I know, leakers tell us we get get to rename Scaramouche in-game. Second, I start playing around with a fairytale theme for the story. Next thing I know, Scaramouche's trailer drops and it's based on a whole-ass Hans Christian Andersen fairytale. Everything could not be more perfect, I was ecstatic.
My only regret is that I didn't start writing this sooner. I wanted to finish it by the time 3.3 dropped, so that I could reveal the name I'm giving him (both in-game and in this fic), so that anyone looking for a ScaraMona-centric name could consider using mine if they like it.
Unfortunately, this is all I got now. If you wonderful people are willing to wait till the finale to see his name, you're more than welcome! But for those of you ScaraMona lovers who want to name him right away...here's the name I've come up with, along with its meaning:
(Imgur link:) /a/xCW8avK