Chapter 3
"You have really got it bad girl."
Yeah Kurt, I know. I can't do this anymore." Quinn looked up at the boy who had become like an older brother to her, and let the tears she had been holding back fall.
"So tell her sweetheart." He said rubbing circles on her back as she cried into his shoulder.
"I can't. I mean, she's not gay. It would be more painful for me to tell her, then to hide it. I don't think I can face her rejecting me, and then having to see her happy without me everyday."
"Quinn? Are you okay?" Rachel walked in after hearing part of the conversation, she felt horrible for already listening, and she wasn't even trying to eavesdrop. Quinn's face paled and shot up quickly.
"Uh, yeah. I have to go." She hurried and started to walk out; she only stopped when the brunette grabbed her hand.
"If she's worth anything, as a friend, she won't care, and she won't hold it against you. Gay or not." She smiled and the blonde shook her head.
"She'll care." Quinn whispered and walked out.
Rachel turned to the boy who had been silent since she walked in, "I know you won't tell me, so I'm not going to ask who it is. But can I ask if you agree, will whoever it is, care?"
"Honestly Rachel, I have no idea. It wouldn't make any sense for her to, but she might, once the lesbian crush is on her, and not someone else." Kurt answered trying not to say what he really wanted to.
"I see. Okay, well I have to go meet Alex for lunch, I just came in to see if Mr. Shuester was okay, but I can see he's not here. Have a good day." She said rushing out the door to the cafeteria.
"Alex, we need to talk." Rachel said simply grabbing the other girls arm and pulling her from the conversation she was having with Tina and Mercedes.
"Whoa girl calm down, what' up? Alex said after she had been practically dragged into the smaller girl's car. After locking the doors she turned to her best friend.
"Quinn has a crush."
"On?"
"Some girl who goes to school here. I don't know. I heard her and Kurt talking when I went to look for your uncle like you asked me too. I didn't catch any names, but I'm fairly certain my very slim chances just dropped into the negative." She sighed, she really hated rejection, granted Quinn didn't know about her liking her like that, but it hurt none the less.
"Why do you say that? You do go to school here. You are a girl." Alex stated like she wasn't sure her best friend knew that.
"Because Alex, she said and I quote 'She's not gay' and I am very much out of the closet." Alex sighed.
"No one in glee seems to know that." Rachel's mouth fell open. How could they not know, Santana was the one who out-ed her they had to have know. Right?
"What?"
"Mercedes was talking about your old 'crush' on Finn" She air quoted crush. "She seems to have it in her head you still aren't over him. Tina, Artie, Puck and Kurt all agree." Alex stated simply.
"Santana told them, didn't she? I heard her talking to Brittany about it, in Glee. They were all there. I mean I didn't deny it, granted I didn't exactly confirm it either, but seriously? They don't know?" She was beyond confused.
"So technically you never came out, you were told on. Am I correct?" Rachel nodded and Alex smirked. "Well then my dear friend, we are going to out you again." Rachel laughed.
"And my devious friend how are we going to do that?" Rachel asked chuckling. They spent the rest of the period in the car plotting trying to figure out when, where and how.
Glee came around faster then Quinn would have liked. She wasn't ready to face the girl she had been crushing on, for the last year.
"Alright guys, settle down. Alex are you ready for your audition, even thought I am sure by now everyone has already agreed you are a part of our little family." Mr. Shuester smiled.
"Yes sir." She stood and walked to the middle of the room, Rachel following her quietly. "I wanted to have my audition piece be something personal. So I decided what better way then to perform a song I wrote. The name of the song is Elizabeth, and Rachel is going to be playing it for me." Mr. Shue looked at her with a small frown.
"What was your inspiration for this song?" He asked, he needed to know if it was about what he thought.
"You'll understand in a few short minutes." She smiled sadly. He got his answer, by the look in her eyes. Sighing the Spanish teacher nodded letting her know he understood already.
Rachel picked up the guitar and played the song the way she had remembered. She was there the day Alex wrote it, and without even hearing the first word, she was already crying.
Namesake to Elizabeth
Her daddy's pride and joy
Baptized in her mama's tears soon after she was born
'Cause the doctor said she'd never live
To see her sweet sixteen
It's a miracle she beat those odds
And there's still no promise
She will see tomorrow
It makes me wonder
How life can give someone so much and take so much away
Alex's voice was soft, but powerful. The group looked on in awe; they hadn't expected her voice to seem so deep and vulnerable or to hear something so personal Alex just didn't seem to be that kind of person.
Oh, Elizabeth
you're a teacher you're a saint
And I'm so glad you came to us
Elizabeth, you make the world a better place
with the kindness of your smile and your love
and your beauty will live on and on
Elizabeth
Rachel started singing back up softly which shocked the group more, Rachel Berry sung back up to no one. It wasn't natural for her.
She might not ever marry
Or hold a baby of her own
Things we all take for granted
Are the things she may never know
But she believes there's always hope
No one but Rachel noticed her best friend's voice straining as she tried not to crack and break down, but only because she had heard Alex sing this song numerous times, and she could tell when it was hitting a nerve or not. It was defiantly making her regret letting Alex sing this.
And that's all she really has
So she walks through life with passion and
With dignity and class
And when she cries, she cries in silence
But never for herself
She cries for everybody else, for everybody else
Alex was trying really hard not to look at anyone in particular, not wanting to have to explain the look she knows was well read in her eyes, she wasn't ready to go into that talk, especially after singing this. She was starting to regret this.
Oh, Elizabeth
You're a teacher you're a saint
And I'm so glad you came to us
Elizabeth, you make the world a better place
With the kindness of your smile and your love
And your beauty will live on and on
Elizabeth
And I'm so glad you came to us
Elisabeth, you make the world a better place
With the kindness of your smile and your love
And your beauty will live on and on
Alex stopped singing and Rachel stopped playing. She set the guitar down and walked over to her best friend eloping her into a bear hug and smiled. "Smile for the grand jury." Alex laughed loudly and kissed Rachel's cheek. The rest of the members of New Directions stood and clapped loudly proud that Alex let them see this side of her. Puck whistled at the small kiss Alex placed on Rachel's cheek, causing a glare from Alex.
"Thanks Rae. There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do."
"Alex that was beautiful." The teacher smiled tears in his eyes.
"Awe Uncle Will, don't cry." Alex smiled and the realized what she just called him. The group stopped clapping and exchanged serious glances with each other.
"Uncle!" Mercedes called from her seat confusion written on her face, along with everyone else's except Quinn's.
"Yes Mercedes, Uncle. She's my sister's daughter." Will nodded figuring the cat was out of the bag, not like he intended on hiding it. They both agreed it would be easier for them both to just not broad cast it.
"Wow." Kurt laughed and smiled. "You know we don't care, right?"
Will and Alex shrugged, "It's always been easier for us not to tell anyone, people think that if I'm in his class he gives me special treatment, which he doesn't by the way. He actually makes me work harder for the grades I get." The room laughed.
After glee Brittany stood up "Mr. Shuester, Can I make an announcement for the girls?"
"Yeah Brittany, but I have to go family business, take your time, Alex, lock up after everyone leaves please." Alex nodded and looked at Brittany. The blonde smiled and waved as he walked out of the room. She turned to the group after he left and smiled.
"Girls night in, my place, tonight. Movies, facials, the usual, you know since for some reason there is no school tomorrow. Yes?" Tina and Mercedes nodded. Quinn smiled "Of course" She didn't have to ask Santana, she knew the girl would be there, so she looked at Kurt.
"I'm invited?" He asked, usually parents didn't like when he was there for a girls night, no matter how gay he acted, they always seem to suspect he wanted in their daughters pants. Gross.
"Why wouldn't you be?" Brittany asked confused.
"Well usually parents don't like me there. Or at least it feels like it." He answered honestly.
"No, that's just San's mom. My mom doesn't care. So, you're coming right?" He nodded. The blonde smiled and turned to Rachel and Alex expectantly.
"Sorry Britt, me and Alex have plans tonight." Rachel apologized.
"What kind of plans could you have that would be more fun then hanging out with us?" Santana asked bitterly, she knew they hurt Brittany's feelings, and she would not stand for that without a very good reason.
"Where I always end up when there is no school the next day?" Rachel asked knowing they had no idea about it, well Quinn might, she's lived with the girl long enough, surely she would have noticed by now.
"If you go there every night we don't have school, you can miss this one night." Santana fired back.
"Uh no, sorry, because I have never been and I want to. We've had this planned since Friday when I got here. Sorry Britt, next time though okay?" Alex countered glaring at the Latina. Brittany nodded excitedly and grabbed Santana's arm, walking out the door.
"So Berry, where ya going?" Puck asked wiggling his eyebrows at her.
"The Hide-a-way if you must know." Rachel answered him seeming bored.
"Wait, you did not just say the Hide-a-way, did you?" Kurt asked seeming shocked, the rest of the group was wondering why.
"Yes Kurt, you heard right." Alex hurried wanting everyone to leave so she could too.
"Now I understand why you would take Alex there, but I can't fathom why you would go on a semi regular basis Berry. I mean it is a gay club." Kurt explained noticing the look he was getting from everyone.
"The answer to that should be obvious." Alex huffed shaking her head. Kurt just looked more confused, as did everyone else. "Jesus, are you all that dense?" She turned around and looked at Rachel, who smiled brightly at her.
"I guess they are, can we go now please, I need to get out of these clothes." Rachel huffed; she really wanted to go change.
"Rachel? You're… You're gay?" Finn asked quietly. Quinn's face lit up, as she made a point to look at the diva.
"Wow, I never would have guessed you of all people would put it together first Finn. Geeze. Can we PLEASE go now?" Rachel was getting impatient; she didn't like the looks they were giving her.
"One more question Berry." Puck said smirking.
"No Noah, you can not watch. Grow up."
"That wasn't what I wanted to ask you." Puck shot back.
"What Noah? What?"
"Are you and Alex like, together?"
Rachel and Alex looked at each other laughed, loudly and walked to the doorway shaking their heads.
"Out. Now. I want to go home." Alex said still laughing making sure to lock the door from the inside. She flicked the lights off before anyone moved.
"Quinn do you need a ride home to get your stuff for tonight?" Rachel asked as the blonde walked out of the room.
"If you don't mind, yeah." She answered smiling. Her car needed new brakes so Liam had dropped her off to take it into the shop to get fixed.
"No I don't mind. Alex, 7pm. My house. If you're late I'm leaving without you. I need to get there early to help Patrick dress." Rachel said giving her best friend a tight hug.
"Yes ma'am, let's get drunk be somebody." Alex laughed quietly into her ear.
Once Quinn and Rachel made it into the diva's car Quinn turned to Rachel. "How come you never told me?" She asked quietly.
"Never told you what Quinn?" Rachel asked confused, she had forgotten once again that no one believed Santana when she told them all she was a lesbian.
"You never told me you were gay. How come, I mean I thought we were friends, didn't you think I would be able to be there for you?" She was hurt, and Rachel could tell. She reached over and placed her hand on top of the blonde's.
'Honestly, I thought everyone knew. Santana told everyone last year, I was never straight out asked, but I didn't deny it when she said it. I figured you all believed her. I didn't mean to offend you Quinn. I'm sorry." She smiled softly before pulling out of the parking lot.
"Okay, I believe you. But how come we never talked about it? I know that you have to had at least one crush between then and now, how come you never came to me or anything? I'm not trying to be clingy or whiney or anything, I just consider you one of my best friends, and I thought you did too." Quinn was really trying to hold back her tears.
"Quinn, I thought you were freaked out by it. Granted you didn't actually know, but I didn't find that out 'til today, when Alex told me that half of Glee thought I was still quote hung up on Finn. I just thought because you never mentioned it that it wasn't something you were comfortable with. I'm sorry. But since were on the subject, how come you didn't tell me? I know you know I heard part of what you and Kurt were talking about, and I very distinctly remember a "she" being used in the talk more then once." Quinn looked genuinely scared she really wanted to tell her, more now then before, because she might actually have a chance. She took a deep breath and looked at Rachel seriously.
"Because I didn't know you were gay, and it's not something I was looking forward to admitting." She sighed, hopefully Rachel would get what she was trying to say.
"Quinn, have you forgotten my fathers? I wouldn't have cared. I know it's scary, but living with me, you don't have a safer place to come out. Well, not in Lima anyway." Rachel smiled and Quinn chuckled nervously.
"I was more worried about you finding out-" She stopped, could she really do this, today?
"Finding out what Quinn?" Rachel placed her hand back on top of the blonde's as she pulled into their driveway, turning the car off but not making an attempt to move.
"Nothing, it's nothing. Promise." Quinn said hurriedly and went to get out of the car. Rachel stopped her.
"I'm not going to push Quinn, but like you said, I consider you one of my best friends, I'll be here when you are ready to tell me." Rachel smiled and squeezed the blonde's arm gently. Quinn smiled and nodded her thanks getting out of the car, and practically running up to her room.
Rachel sighed walking into the house, she decided she needed a quick shower before leaving. After her shower and changing into the clothes she was going to wear tonight, she heard a knock on her bedroom door. She looked at the clock, noting it was only 5:30, it couldn't be Alex, she never showed up this early for anything, and her dad's didn't get off until 8, it could only be Quinn.
"Once second!" She yelled at the door, sliding on a pair of sweat pants and a sweat shirt, she couldn't let Quinn see her outfit, she needed to be surprised along with everyone else at school. Walking over to open the door for Quinn she noticed that the girl looked a little timid. "What's wrong Quinn?"
"Uh, nothing I was just wondering if you could uh, drop me off at Brittany's when you and Alex go to leave. My car is still in the shop and-" Rachel held up her hand to stop her from rambling, something she had noticed the blonde did when she was nervous.
"One don't be nervous, you sound like me when you are." She laughed hoping to get a smile out of the blonde, noticing the twitch of her lips she continued "Two, I was planning on just giving you the keys to my car, me and Alex already talked about it. I know you won't be getting you car back until later. It would just be easier. You know, just incase something happens and you need to get home, you don't have to wait on me, or try and find a ride." Quinn smiled and hugged the diva.
"Thanks Rach. Always planning ahead. Now more seriously, that's not what you are wearing to that club, are you?" Quinn asked laughing.
"No, we aren't leaving until 7, and I wanted to be comfortable for a little bit." She lied easily, she hated lying to Quinn, but she couldn't exactly tell her the truth.
"Okay good, so what are you wearing?"
"Uh, I hadn't really thought about it, I'm sure Alex will find something. She always picks out my outfits when we go out. It's kind of tradition." She smiled, she may not have liked lying, but she was liking how she could think fast enough to make it seem believable.
"Good, can't have you going out in one of those dog sweaters can we?" Quinn joked, she thought they were adorable.
"I resent that, I go every Friday, not once has anyone said anything negative about my dress." She faked hurt, she knew why no one had any negative comments, but again, she couldn't tell Quinn the truth, it would ruin the surprise.
'Alright, well I'm going to head out to Britt's she asked me to come by early to help set up, but I told her I couldn't because I didn't have my car. If I'm using yours I might as well get over there and help. She's trying to set up by herself. I'm pretty sure she might hurt herself." Quinn smiled.
"Yeah I understand, you know where my keys are, just make sure to leave yours so I have a house key to get back in later please.' Rachel was getting really hot having on two sets of clothing, she needed to get the sweats off, but she couldn't until Quinn left.
"Yeah sure, uh, text me when you get back so I don't spend all night worrying please?" She asked shyly.
"Not a problem." The brunette pulled the Cheerio into a hug and walked into the bathroom after Quinn pulled back.
7 rolled around quicker then Rachel expected and was shocked to see Alex wearing a pair of black semi baggy shorts, a back t-shirt with 'Dip me in chocolate and feed me to the lesbians'written in white on the front, her hair spiked up into a hawk again, the green tips now red, and a pair of classic black chucks to finish the outfit off.
"Wow Rae, I forgot how awesome you look in skinny jeans." Alex said smiling at the black skinny jeans and the way they hugged every curve on the smaller girl.
"Thanks Al, I miss wearing them. We should get going, Patrick already called twice." She laughed grabbing Quinn's keys and her small black and pink clutch, walking out to the older girls' car. "Oh, nice. When did you get this sexy thing?" Rachel asked seeing the silver eclipse parked in her drive way.
"Uh, Last month when I totaled Dita." Alex smiled sadly at the memory.
"You totaled your Tibby?" Rachel hollered at her.
"Totally not my fault. Some asshole rear ended me and shoved me into an intersection. He paid for Jaida here." Alex smiled.
"Okay. Well let's get going."
Pulling up into the gravel drive way of the club, Alex offered Rachel her hand to help her out of the car. A tall skinny obviously gay man ran out to the car picking Rachel up and twirling her around in circles.
"RAY BEAR! I missed you this weekend! What happened?" Alex was more then confused, and slightly amused.
"Patrick please put me down, GENTLY!" She yelled at him laughing. Once safely back on the ground she walked back over to Alex. "Patrick I am very sorry for not being here this weekend Alex moved into town, and we were catching up. Oh Patrick this is Alex, Alex meet my bestest bestest gay brother Patrick." She finished smiling brightly.
"Ohh, this is her? Hmm. Turn around darling, I need to get a good look at you." Patrick said and Alex laughed, until she realized he was serious. Turning around slowly she was shaking her head chuckling softly.
"Does he do this to all of your friends he meets Rae?" She asked mid turn.
"Darling, you are the only friend I want to meet, those other hood rats need to be shown a lesson for messing with my favorite girl. Except that, Quinn, because Ray bear would hurt me for hurting her crush." Alex and him shared a laugh, "Come on you need to help me get dressed, oh and Alex, get yourself a drink tell Carrie I said to put it on my tab." Rachel walked over to her and handed her an ID, that she quickly realized said she was 21.
"It's a 21 and up club, you need that to get in." She whispered, "Can you tell Carrie I need a rum and coke please?" She smiled, Alex grinned deviously, she loved Rae, but she loved a tipsy Rae even more.
"Quinn! I thought you said you wouldn't be here until later?" Brittany squealed pulling her into the house.
"Yeah, well Rachel gave me her car tonight so she didn't have to chauffeur me around." Quinn laughed. Brittany looked confused for a second, before she remembered that Quinn had used that word before and Santana had told her what it meant.
"Oh okay, so Stephanie offered to let us have one bottle from the cabinet, but I can't decided which one, and I don't remember how to use that lock." Brittany said and Quinn looked shocked.
"She agreed to let us have alcohol?" Quinn questioned.
"No, silly, I didn't ask her. She just said we could have one." Brittany laughed.
After setting up everything and pulling out one of the unopened bottles of vodka, they double checked to make sure everything was in the basement so that no one would have to go up the stairs for anything. Shortly after double checking everything was set up, the basement door opened and Kurt, Mercedes, Tina and Santana all quickly walked in shutting the door behind them.
An hour later, with everyone slightly drunk, except Santana, who had a very high tolerance, and Kurt, who wasn't drinking at all. He never did drink with the girls, incase one of their parents walked in and made him leave. Quinn decided to make an announcement. "Hey guys" Quinn slurred, everyone's attention snapping towards her "I have an announcement to make." After a long paused Santana sighed.
"Quinn, we know. So don't go making a fool out of yourself tonight."
"And what exactly do you know Lopez?" Quinn asked faking annoyance.
"That you're drunk. By the way, I'm cutting you off. Oh, and give me your keys."
"That's not what I was going to say, and I gave them to Stephanie earlier, after I found out she said we could have a bottle of her vodka." Quinn laughed drunkenly.
"Well then spit it out then." The Latina growled.
"I'm gay." She said like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"Whoa! Two in one day, is all of glee gay, geeze" Mercedes laughed.
"Hold up. One, when did you come to that realization Blondie? Two, who else came out today that I missed?" Santana asked.
"Uh, a week before Puck knocked me up, and Rachel." Quinn answered both her questions.
"Wow, that was a long time ago Fabray, how come you never told us? Also, No shit, I told you all that last year." Santana laughed.
"She said that, I guess none of us believed you. Hmm, maybe I do have a chance." Quinn thought out loud, quickly realizing what she just said, she slapped her hand over her mouth.
"You're gay for Berry!" Santana asked shocked.
"Santana, I don't think what she needs is for us to be laughing at her and judging her. This is a hard thing to admit." Kurt said. Once Quinn admitted she was gay to half of glee, she was going to need him tonight, he could feel it.
"I'm not laughing, or judging her Hummel, I just didn't expect it." Santana spat at him.
"So, like, you don't care?" Quinn whispered.
"No girl, you are my best friend, you come second only to B. I just want you to be careful. Berry has a reputation down at the Hide-a-way for breaking hearts."
"You know she goes there?" Kurt asked.
"Yeah, heard it from a friend, never been there myself. Apparently if you don't know where it is exactly, you won't find it. Anyway, just be careful Q."
"Great. Just fucking great." Quinn got up of the couch and stalked upstairs to Brittany's bedroom with Kurt on her heels. She flopped face down on the bed as Kurt closed the door.
"Quinn?" He asked gently.
"What am I supposed to do now Kurt? She's got way better and older women chasing after her, and I can't even tell her! Fuck this sucks." She cried her face still in the pillow.
"Quinn, darling, if she doesn't see what an amazing person you are, is she worth it?" He asked trying not to piss her off, but trying to get her to think.
"I can't help that I'm in love with her Kurt!" She shouted his mouth fell open.
"Say what now?" he asked after he picked his jaw up off the floor.
"I'm in love with her Kurt, and it sucks, a whole freaking lot." Just then her phone rang, letting her know she had a text message. Opening her phone she saw it was from Rachel.
'Had a blast, wish you could have seen the show. Home now. Please tell me you aren't drunk, or sleeping with Santana. -R' Looking over the picture that was attached, there was a tall skinny woman in a skimpy blood red dress, and blood red heels. She was standing next to a slightly shorter man, hair in a hawk, with the same blood red color in the tips of his hair.
"Shit you see this, I can't compete with that!" Quinn yelled throwing her phone at Kurt. Looking at the picture he laughed.
"Quinn sweetheart, I don't think you have to compete with that."
"And what makes you think that? She's hot, can't you see that?" Quinn was crying, and he rushed over to her side.
"Darling, I can see that HE is hot. But I'm pretty sure that she's not interested in him like she could be with you." Kurt chuckled.
"He? Who he? I'm talking about the woman in the red dress, not the man standing next to her." Kurt was laughing so hard at this point that he could barely breathe.
"Quinn, the person in the dress, is a male. The person standing next to him is Alex." He said after he finally stopped laughing. "It's called Drag baby girl, she was showing you the performer for the night." Quinn grabbed the phone and looked harder at the picture. The light wasn't great, but then again, it was taken on a cell phone inside a club. Now that Kurt pointed it out, the 'man' standing next to the 'woman' looked a lot like Alex, but the tips of her hair were green today. She also noticed that the 'woman' was really, really, really tall. Way taller then a woman should be, even in heels. While she was analyzing the picture again her phone went off.
'Guess the girls night was prty fun. Sry we misd it. G'night.' It was from Rachel, and Quinn may have been a little tipsy, but she could tell that Rachel was upset, it's the only reason she would not type out the words completely. So she sent a quick text back.
"Sorry I didn't reply I was showing the girls the picture you sent. I'm not that drunk, and I won't be sleeping with Santana tonight. –Q' Hitting send she turned back to Kurt.
"Are you drunk?"
"Uh, no. Why?"
"Can you drive me home?"
"Yeah sure, let's go back and say goodbye." Kurt got off the bed and held out his hand for her. Walking back into the basement arms interlaced. After they said goodnight to the girls, and a Santana promised to drive Rachel's car back in the morning, they got in Kurt's truck and drove to the Berry house.
"Thank you Kurt, you really don't know how much I appreciate you being here for me. It means a lot." She smiled and hugged him.
"Don't mention it Quinn, I know how it feels to feel alone in this. I'm here for you. Text or call me if you need me."
"Will do Kurt. Drive safe and have a good night." She smiled walking up the driveway and into the house.
After the door closed Rachel ran down the stairs. "Quinn Charlie Fabray, please tell me you did not drive home drunk!" she screamed. Quinn couldn't get her mouth to work. Rachel then remembered she was in the middle of changing; she only had on a pair of very short shorts she usually slept in and her black lace bra.
Before Quinn could stop her self she walked over to Rachel and crushed their lips together. She wanted to blame it on the alcohol, but she knew that even if she wasn't drunk, seeing the diva dressed like she was, she wouldn't have been able to stop herself. The kiss deepened and Rachel moaned, pulling Quinn back to reality, she pulled away, and whispered "No, Kurt drove me. I'm sorry." With that she ran up the stairs, into her bedroom, and locked the door.
Extra bonus points if you can find the lyric that is in this chapter and tell me what song it's from and who the song is by. [Not the Elizabeth song. Which by the way is by Billy Gilman. And I don't own that either.]
-T