Chapter 5

When Kensi wakes up and walks into the living room, she's not expecting to find Renko and Abby sitting on her couch.

"Why are you two here?"

Renko gets up and gives her a tight quick hug. "Callen called me and I told him I would take care of this. But I needed a female point of view with this situation and I know you and Abby get along. She got here in record time, I must say."

Kensi frowns and gives Renko a scary look. "What did you do to Deeks?"

Abby steps forward, gives her a quick hug, and answers her question. "The original idea was to give him a piece of our minds but someone lost a bit of control and left him with a bleeding nose."

Kensi shakes her head and sits on the couch, looking defeated. "You shouldn't have done anything, not even talk to him."

Renko stands in front of her, confused and angry at the same time. "That guy walks out on you when you need him the most and you defend him?"

She shakes her head and looks at him, allowing him to see the sadness in her eyes. "He's angry and he has the right to be. I lost our baby due to being reckless."

Renko is too shocked to talk so Abby takes over and sits next to her on the couch. "Kensi, that wasn't your fault!"

That does it for her. Kensi gets up and throws one final sentence before locking herself in her bedroom. "I wish everyone would stop telling me that…"

Abby sighs and looks at Renko, who still looks angry. "She won't believe that unless he's the one who tells her."

After a few second without receiving an answer, Abby tries to make him talk. "Do you think Kensi's mom can solve this?"

Renko shrugs and sits next to her on the couch. "I hope so. She needs him right now."

Abby nods. "They need one another. He's hurting too. Didn't you see it in his eyes?"

Renko gets up and his voice shows just how angry he is. "Kensi's like a little sister to me and he walked out on her. If it were up to me, both his eyes would be bruised right now."

And, with that much said, he leaves to get some fresh air and see if he can calm down.

X

The doorbell rings and Deeks opens it but, as soon as he sees who's there, he walks to his living room without as much as a word.

Julia closes the door behind her and walks in, noticing that Deeks won't even look at her. "You can look at me. I won't bite."

Deeks ignores her comment and doesn't dare to meet her eyes. "Why are you here?"

Julia sighs. "I promised Kensi I wouldn't do anything but you're both hurting and enough is enough."

His voice is low and Julia can hear the sadness in his voice. "You shouldn't have come. She'll be angry."

She walks closer to him and rests her hand on his back, just like a mother would to comfort her child. "I know, but it's worth the risk. And I also know you won't look at me because you're afraid I'll be disappointed in you."

Deeks sighs and finally turns around, looking into the eyes of the woman who is slowly but surely becoming like a mother to him. "Aren't you?"

Julia shakes her head. "No, I'm not. I get it. I can only imagine how painful this must be. But you need to get through this together."

Deeks doesn't even try to disguise the hurt and the sadness he is feeling. "We should have gone through everything together. She should have told me she was pregnant the minute she found out. I should have been there when she found out."

Suddenly, it becomes clear to her. "So that's what this is about…"

He frowns but nods anyway. "Yes, that's what this is about."

Julia reacts quickly and tells him what's going on. "Then you need to go talk to her right now. Marty, she didn't know she was pregnant. You were there when she found out…She thinks you hate her because she lost your baby. She's a mess because she blames herself for it and won't believe any of us when we tell her it wasn't her fault. She needs you. Please, don't walk out when she needs you the most."

Upon hearing those words, Deeks reacts quickly and grabs his keys. In a matter of seconds, he's running out of the door without a word. And Julia smiles because she knows where he's going and has the feeling that everything is going to be okay.

X

Deeks walks inside her house and ignores Renko and Abby who are sitting on the couch. They don't make a move to stop him either, when he nearly runs to her bedroom and opens the door. After closing it behind him, he looks at her and the sight is enough to break his heart.

Kensi's sitting on the bed, her back against the headboard and her eyes slightly red. He takes one step forward but doesn't dare to get any closer, afraid of her reaction. So, in a low voice, he breaks the silence.

"You didn't know…"

Even though she's not crying, her voice is a bit shaky. "Is that a question?"

He takes another step forward, still afraid. "Why didn't you tell me you didn't know?"

That makes her react and, for the first time, he's happy to hear her angry voice because that means she still cares enough to argue with him. "I didn't tell you because you stormed off and I didn't have the chance to say anything!"

Deeks walks a bit closer and tries to calm her down. "I don't want to argue with you…"

She shakes her head and he sees one tear running down her cheek. "What do you want, then?"

That tear does it for him and he reacts quickly. In a matter of seconds, he's sitting next to her on the bed, one of his arms wrapped around her shoulders and one hand wiping away her tear. "I want to make things right. I'm sorry. I should have given you the chance to tell me you didn't know. I should have been here for you since the very beginning."

Kensi allows him to hug her close and rests her head on his shoulder, needing the comfort only he is capable of providing her with. "It hurts. I don't know why but it hurts."

Glad that she's not pulling back from him, he kisses the top of her head. "It hurts because we lost a part of us…"

Kensi lifts her head and looks him in the eye. "It was my fault. You're the one who has to forgive me."

Deeks reacts quickly once again and pulls her as close as possible, kissing every inch of her face he can. "You didn't know. It wasn't your fault!"

Kensi shakes her head, stubbornly. "Marty, it's still my fault. What kind of woman doesn't notice she's pregnant?"

He kisses her sweetly on the lips, trying to show her how he feels. "I don't blame you and neither should you."

Then, she looks into his eyes with so much hope in hers that he's immediately curious. "Do you love me?"

Deeks nods and pulls her as close as possible. "Yes, of course I love you!"

She rests her head on his chest and another tear escapes her eyes. "I lost our baby…"

He lifts her head so his eyes can meet hers. He needs her to know how much she means to him and how he feels about this. "It doesn't change anything. I love you. Nothing can change that, Kensi."

Her answer is fast, surprising him because she's not someone who is usually this open. "I love you too."

They spend the next few minutes in silence until he breaks the silence, shakily. "Would you consider having a baby with me, someday?"

Kensi nods and offers him a smile. "I would love to have your babies, Marty."

After giving her a sweet kiss on the lips, he decides it's time to start the healing process, together this time. "What do you need, right now?"

Kensi wraps her arms around his waist and hugs him tight, her head on his chest. "I just need you to hold me."

Deeks lets out a small laugh and hugs her back. "That's it? That's easy…"

She nods without moving away from him. "Yeah, all I need is you."

He kisses the top of her head and whispers in her ear, conspiratorially. "Are you sure? Because I happen to have chocolate in my car…"

Kensi laughs. "You and chocolate sounds perfect!"

He turns serious, all of a sudden, because despite the joking this is still a serious situation. "I promise you I will spend the rest of my life apologizing for this."

Kensi shakes her head. "You don't need to. You're here now. I forgive you!"

They both know things aren't okay yet because they still have to deal with the loss of their unborn baby, but they'll go through it together and that's what matters.

And, by the time Julia arrives, Kensi doesn't have the courage to yell at her for breaking her promise.

The End

Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing this story. The idea was slightly dark at first but I like to think I turned it around and gave it a good ending. I would love to know what you think about this ending I came up with.

I have a new story that I'll try to publish before the beginning of December. Keep an eye out for that one.

Love,
Sarah