Inappropriate Conduct
By Abby Ebon & Chaos Silk
O.o.O.o.O.o.O
A Note from the Authoress'
It's too late to turn back now, you've been sucked into our world, and you may never be the same again. Prepared to be scarred for life- or become even corrupted then you are now…if that is possible. Our beloved and most honored friends have, by a default of being our friends, become a part of this tale.
A small part… but we wanted to stick to the 'rules' of Mary Sue/Marty Stu/Gary Sue that the friends of the authoresses find themselves placed in a story they never wanted to be in. As do their enemies, on that note…
Those of you who flame us, dislike us, or annoy us, shall also be put in this tale. Don't worry though; you'll hardly recognize yourself…By the way, we can always write a sequel or –gasp- another story to feature you in if you flame us after this is done.
We're just evil and clever like that…
By the way, in Mary-Sues we notice too, that a magical fairy/elf/stone/pool/genie/something-or-other usually helps the main character get what they want- whither it's getting into that world- or getting some one in that world to love them. But would you accept the gift of the Dark-Moon Goddess?
We thought not- yet our poor Jaycee sees only how valuable it could be on the market- he has no idea of the chaos he's about to find himself in. (cue evil laughter)
O.o.O.o.O.o.O
Disclaimer: Oh, and we don't own Eragon- and we really don't want to. Especially with what were going to do to him…wait, I we've both done worse to our own OCs/Muses…never mind…
O.o.O.o.O.o.O
Jaycee let himself lay on the cool marble floor of what he suspected must be the harem chambers. He didn't open his eyes- he didn't want to believe that he, Jaycee the Thief, had landing himself into a harem for a truly twisted King.
Beside him, Lady Belinda stirred. Letting out a soft whimper, she fluttered her lovely blue eyes – and looked around the chambers she found herself in. Other women with soft skin, lovely eyes, and great hair were clustered together in groups of twos or threes- except for the odd group of five who were watching everyone else with bored expressions.
That was when the witless air head- uh, Lady Belinda Von Regalia, was forced to admit that compared to some of those women she looked common. Horrified she glared down at the dark haired girl who lay a few feet away from her. Her worst fears were confirmed, her commonness had rubbed off on the once great noble woman.
"You horrible creature this is all your fault!" The air head screeched at the top of her lungs, to the 'waking' girl, and further attracting one of the beautiful sharks- erg, women and her horde of three.
"No it isn't who summoned the guards, eh?" Jaycee replied in a far less ear splitting- headache inducing tone. The Lady Belinda's pale face flushed, somehow making her look lovely instead of frustrated and pissed off at her companion.
Jaycee rolled his eyes; obviously the witless noble had never been back-talked by a mere 'commoner'.
"Hello, I'm Baroness Fay Sai Hunter, and these are my…friends, Duchess Cecilia Avis Raven, and Queen Mrri Killi of a land beyond the ocean. Would you like to join us …?" Jaycee eyed the woman, she wasn't speaking to him, of course, but to Lady Belinda, who looked up at the black haired woman with lilac eyes.
Jaycee hadn't thought that color was possible- and people think silver-grey eyes are strange, Jaycee chuckled aloud- getting odd looks from the four women and not giving a damn.
"I'd be glad to Fay; I am Lady Belinda Von Regalia, 'tis a pleasure." Belinda answered with a smug expression. She was most put out to see that Jaycee was ignoring her- and not jealous at all of the three beautiful snakes- erm, women, who escorted her to their little corner of the chambers and proceeded to talk of weather, silks, fabrics, and how much money they had.
Jaycee was of the opinion that that was all they knew what to talk about.
Jaycee took a closer look around the chambers it had windows that looked out at the sky- and far below the city spread before it; the place was set up made of marble or smooth obsidian- this was clearly the courtyard for the harem women. Three fountains were in the center, undecorated, save for the women who washed clothing in it or were bathing.
Jaycee quickly looked away from them- a woman of the group of five-who had been watching the rest, approached him.
She had dark hair that curled into ringlets, and dark eyes- kohl lining them, Jaycee tilted his head up at her- curious, she was common. Almost pirate-like.
"'Lo boy, I'm called Lyri, my girls were wondering how a boy came to be in a King's harem." Jaycee choked, how'd they know? Lyri smiled seeing his shock; she pulled him up with a strong arm and practically dragged him among the throng of girls. Two of them were cuddling together, watching with amusement.
"This is Tahori and Myjfa, they came with the great 'Queen' Mrri Killi- fake-Queen more like. These lovely ladies are the Queens of their Isle, a peaceful place mostly, lovely people, but get them angry and they become vicious, blood-sucking bitches. A Pity they don't know that their Queens are kidnapped." The Queens complimented each other nicely; both wore silver robes with black lining, only a necklace showed a crystal disk- or an obsidian one.
One had darker brown hair and the other lighter, almost blond, hair. They had mismatched eyes; green eye, and blue eye. They were switched on them, and it was a strange thing to behold.
"On our Isle, Soul-Mates use magic to switch eyes, so one partner always knows where the other is." Tahori explained with a small smile, Myjfa held her around the waist, a smug smile on her lips. Jaycee frowned not understanding.
"But why do your Kings not know where you are then?" Both of the Queens laughter rang in the chambers.
"Child, you misunderstand. On our Isle, there are no Kings- only Queens, the High-Priestess of the Two Moons." A woman, this one with brown-red hair interrupted. She wore silver robes with black lining.
"That is why it is called the Queen Isle by your people." Another woman added this one with brown roots and blond hair. She wore black robes with silver lining. Such seemed to be the prevailing theme of the four women. The two glanced at each other and shared a smile.
"I am Priestess-Mage Erenas, of the White-Moon Goddess." The brown-red haired woman introduced herself, her hazel eyes amused.
"And I am Priestess-Mage Soahc, of the Dark-Moon Goddess." The woman with brown roots and blond hair and teal eyes, explained. Jaycee thought it must be very confusing on the Queen Isle.
"No, just when they are on their moon cycles, otherwise, they are always so- you get used to it." Jaycee spun around- there was another boy! He was pale, with white hair, silver eyes, and delicate looking.
"You're a boy!" Jaycee exclaimed, he got a raised eyebrow, the man- not boy, stood, he was indeed fully grown, and stood over the females. He arched, showing off muscles through a baggy silver shirt. His vest was black- and his pants silver-grey.
"Yes, I am, and so are you. I'm Stoka - Erenas' boy-slave." He waggled his eyebrows at the shorter woman- who blushed faintly, and the Queens' covered their mouths hiding grins. Soahc didn't bother- she just giggled with Lyri.
"Otherwise, I am the Priest-Mage of the White-Moon Goddess." Stoka murmured, wrapping his arms around the Priestess-Mage White-Moon- she was pleasantly plump, and he clearly loved her.
"Aren't priest's supposed to be virgins! Or at least chaste?" Jaycee hissed, blushing red, had they no shame?
Apparently not…
"What! I'll show you virgin, you little brat!" Stoka hissed, and kissed Erenas deeply, with tongue. This left Queens and Dark-Moon Priestess-Mage Soahc into gales of laughter. Lyri merely shook her head, amused.
"The Two Moons – Dark, and White, encourage the highest of their order, in this case Priest-Mage and Priestess-Mage, to be close friends- in the least, lovers hopefully. It does not require such with those of the same sex- merely that the Priestess-Mages' be twin of the heart." Dark-Moon Priestess-Mage Soahc explained. Jaycee looked doubtfully at her.
"When where's the Priest-Mage of the Dark-Moon- to match the White-Moon Priest Mage?" He demanded; this sobered them up- they seemed suddenly very sad. Erenas went to Soahc and wrapped her fellow Priestess-Mage in a tight hug. Stoka had flinched back, his hand hovering over his chest, as if pained.
"We do not know where he is. We fear he is dead…." Stoka whispered. Both Queens's lips had thinned into a pale line.
"We shall slaughter the betrayer Mrri Killi, on this dark-moon night, and with her blood return to the Queen Isle- and there, we shall…" Tahori was shaking in anger- so Myjfa took over for her.
"We shall unleash our rage upon this lands ruler." Jaycee noticed Myjfa held the obsidian disk- thus meaning she was the High-Priestess, a Queen of the two Queens of the Two Moon religion, that of the Dark-Moon.
"Good luck…" Jaycee whispered, hoping they'd offer him to go with them- the Queens Isle may be a strange place, but at least it would get him out of the harem.
"We are sorry." Lyri murmured; "Only those of the Two Moon Religion may journey in this way- it is deadly for others." Jaycee turned to her- she did not look like one of the strangers.
"Are you going with them? How can you? You don't look like one of them." Someone choked behind him – Jaycee paid no mind to them. Lyri smiled, it wasn't a nice expression. She wore black- but not as a robe- there was a reason she had looked like a pirate to Jaycee, the poor boy had never seen a female fighter.
"I am their Goddess- the Dark-Moon, Lyri, my Mage-Priestess called me, as did my Queen. No Goddess would refuse her highest- nor would I let them die in a foreign land. In order for them to travel they would need a second- masculine form of the Black-Moon, as their Goddess- I can be such for my Mage-Priestess. Have care Jaycee." The Black-Moon Goddess purred, and then Jaycee saw that night had fallen.
He heard Lady Belinda Von Regalia scream- and knew 'Queen' Mrri Killi had died by the Dark-Moon Goddesses hand.
Lyri smiled- again, and then they were gone- as if they never had been. That morning Jaycee found himself in once of the connecting rooms of the chamber.
A sphere, the same look to it as the Queen's necklaces – silvery crystal on one side, smooth obsidian on the other, lay in his hand. It had five runes on its surface- for earth, fire, water, air, and metal.
It was obviously valuable, and Jaycee decided to keep Lyri the Dark-Moon Goddesses 'gift'. If he knew the trouble it would bring him; he probably wouldn't have.
Draco- watching from the rafters above Jaycee's room had a very bad feeling about that orb.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O
Weeks passed, and Jaycee learned to hide his gender very well indeed. Mostly because he had seen what had been done to a girl who had voiced a revolt. In the night she'd been smothered in cold blood. The King's harem would indeed kill, as rumors had it, to keep themselves a harem.
Jaycee attended mandatory erotic dancing lessons, where he learned to move provocatively, in time with the other girls. This is where his thief reflexes and athletic ability came in handy. It became one of his favorite past-times. It kept him in shape after all.
Then the guards- told them one day that a celebration was being held (they did not know it was for the newest Dragon Rider, Murtagh, and his Dragon, Thorn, finally learning to fly together) and they were to dance for it.
Jaycee was friends with Enb, and Ebao, the male and female pair who guarded the harem from the outside. He had begged not to perform- he was sure the secret of his gender would be revealed.
They were firm though- he was one of the best dancers (a fact that Lady Belinda Von Regalia hated), and would perform.
So the day approached, and they were given 'modest' attire modest considering how little some one the girls dressed- Jaycee had quickly learned not to react to partly nude, and mostly nude women- and given the dance-rehearsal
It was later speculated that this was why he 'turned' gay in the archives of the future- Draco who still lives assures that this was not the case- most believe him; rather then archives written a thousand years after Jaycee's death.
Left with little choice Jaycee threw himself in it- hardly noticing time pass, until the big day.
Where Draco had to swear him that no, he had not secured an escape route, and yes Jaycee would certainly die if he attempted to leave via window; and no, Draco was not just saying such to torture his 'Jaybird'.
The facts of these statements are still under debate some thousand years afterwards.
None the less, Jaycee preformed wonderfully, and caught the attention of Murtagh. Who Jaycee momentarily freed from the mind-enslavement of Galbatorix, by the power of the sphere….Although the silly twenty-something-year-old thought it was because of the 'power of love' of his Soul-Mate, the dancing girl "Jaycee"; it should be noted in his defense he was somewhat drunk.
Draco later approached Murtagh on an offer he couldn't refuse….
Draco's offer?
O.o.O.o.O.o.O
"Pisst!" Was echoed in a snoring Murtagh's room; the young man was startled away- and somewhat cranky that no one was there.
"Tomorrow night you shall fly seven times around the harem tower; you shall catch the falling …maiden, and her monkey. Do this and you shall be free from Galbatorix forever." A mysterious voice told him.
"Will I get a kiss?" Murtagh demeaned, still rather drunk.
"…Yes, yes – now vow you shall do this!" The voice insisted.
"I shall!" Murtagh exclaimed- then promptly fell asleep. The voice sighed, and the silver monkey became visible again.
"Jaycee ain'y gonna like this- but I'm sure he'll understand the sacrifice…" The silver monkey scampered away to inform his Jaybird on their escape plans. Draco knew that Murtagh would keep his vow, drunk or not.
So, plans were made that for the coming night, that Jaycee would trust Draco to provide a flying escape for them. Jaycee never knew that as he jumped a dragon was supposed to catch him. It made for a somewhat…panicked escape.
Luckily Murtagh kept a tight grip on the squirming girl's waist.
Otherwise it went smoothly- save for that Draco had told Jaycee to leave the crystal/obsidian sphere at the tower- he hadn't he kept it in the pocket under his harem girl outfit (which Draco told him was necessary for some reason); but what else can you expect from a thief?