Inappropriate Conduct
By Abby Ebon & Chaos Silk
O.o.O.o.O.o.O
A Note from the Authoress'
This story will end at ten chapters, there is, after all, a limit to the chaos we can produce and sustain a balance with the natural world. In other words, if this randomness doesn't end somewhere, something is going to go BOOM-BAM. Splat. Crunch. Grind. Chew.
Not necessary in that order.
It might be your-brains-being-eaten-by-zombies; it might be dragons-protecting-treasure-which-you-stupidly-drooled-over. It might be something else equally horrifically chaotic, you never know with these things.
Wouldn't want that dears, brains and blood are a horror to get out of the carpet…
O.o.O.o.O.o.O
Disclaimer: If we owned Eragon…the Goddesses would not be pleased with us… –glances to Lyri and Myizrui, giggling is heard-
O.o.O.o.O.o.O
"…ah…harder, Sagum…."
Jaycee, hand raised to push open the room he shared with Sagum stopped mid-motion, mortified. His face was flushed (though how much of this condition was due because of drinking, and how much because of his embarrassment we might never know) and he'd frozen.
"mmm….yes, Eragon…"
At hearing that, his hands jerked away from the door, and he wondered where Draco had gotten to and determined he'd better find him.
"…ahhh…"
Quickly, he turned and rushed back to the after-wedding party.
O.o.O.o.O.o.O
"What's the matter kid? You look rather red – too much to drink?" Soahc asked settling down beside Jaycee. Blushing, Jaycee looked to her wondering if there was any proper way to tell her that he had nearly walked in on her brother…erm…"taking care" of his 'man-wife'.
"Ah, your heard them going at it?" She seemed more amused then embarrassed for her brother. It was funny, were she a maiden born within the Empire – she'd be horrified. As it was she was as knowing and amused as a harem girl – perhaps more so.
"Eh, yeah." Why was it he was the one who was felt to feel all too awkward?
"Don't worry about it kid, you'll have your own bit of fun soon enough." Jaycee blinked at her – she winked, got up and left him. Just like that, Jaycee sighed at the thought, she was gone.
Jaycee looked down at the orb – half in crystal, half in obsidian – it was covered with runes. For the first time, he wondered what he was going to do with "Flai" the Elemental that inhabited it. He had four wishes left.
Then, suddenly, from above he heard angry chattering – it was Draco – he looked up, only to see the silver monkey hopping down on him.
"Fool boy, I told you to leave that alone!" Draco hissed angrily, eyes narrowed on Jaycee.
"Well, sorry Dra', I didn't. Where have you been anyway?" Jaycee asked, if he lingered on the thought, he hadn't seen the little silver menace sense meeting Sagum.
"Being chased by some damned noble wanting to present me as a gift for his "lady fair"." The small monkey mocked the accent of a noble remarkably well.
"Oh, he was probably here for Eragon and Sagum's wedding." Jaycee remarked lamely.
"You think?" Was the silver monkey's smart-alecky (if very dryly sarcastic) retort, he ducked under the hand Jaycee lifted to swat at him.
"So, what's in the orb anyway?" Draco asked setting into Jaycee's lap, though he glared at the orb.
"An Elemental – I have five wishes, or rather, four, but I used one to find out her name." Jaycee told him, slumping against the tree and somehow sprawling at the same time – a thing only teens or double-jointed adults were capable of.
"Well – what's her name?" Draco asked after a few moments passed in silence.
"Er, she told me, but it was too hard to pronounce – let alone remember – so I call her Flai." Jaycee told his monkey-shaped friend sheepishly.
"A wasted wish?" Draco murmured looking up at the thief with wide eyes. Jaycee nodded, wondering what Draco would do. To his surprise, the little silver monkey only sighed, seemingly depressed.
"Idiot – there is nothing sadder then a wasted wish." Draco told him shaking his little head in disgust.
"Now you tell me that, before it was "leave the dark goddesses orb alone"." Jaycee mimicked Draco's voice remarkably well considering the monkey's voice was pitched to be a few notes higher then a male should be able to achieve. This earned him a look – in which monkey won for he now had blackmail.
"Well, you should wish next for Murtagh's ties to Galbatorix to be broken." The monkey suggested innocently – or as innocently as a monkey could manage.
"Why would I do that?" Jaycee asked a little confused. Let it never be said you have to be smart to be a thief.
"Because, Draco said you could. Gave his word you would." Murtagh had appeared out of the darkness, whatever had been left of the alcohol from the night before had obviously gone away.
"What are you doing here? What do you mean?" Jaycee could only ask wide-eyes, for one reason – Murtagh had magic and a nasty looking sword, and somewhere in the dark a ruby dragon bided it's time. All Jaycee had was a wish-granting orb, and a silver talking monkey. You could see who had the upper hand right off, as otherwise, Jaycee was unarmed.
"I wouldn't miss my own brothers wedding, even if I wasn't invited." Murtagh grumbled, and Draco and Jaycee exchanged another look, which consisted of which one of them was going to be fed to the dragon first.
"As for what I mean, I may have been drunk but I remember a voice very like that monkey's telling me if I took you from the tower – I would be free of Galbatorix, so pay up." Murtagh demanded, Draco cleared his throat, catching the Rider's attention.
"Anyone ever tell you you'd catch more flies with honey then vinegar?"
"Why would anyone want to catch flies?" Jaycee asked the silver monkey – Murtagh growled and all conversation of flies, vinegar, or honey ceased.
"Can you or can't you free me?" Murtagh asked fingers going around the hilt of his sword.
"Personally – no, but I have something that can." Jaycee rushed to explain before the Rider became anymore aggravated. His reassurances oddly had little effect.
"Flai!" Jaycee yelped, knowing the name not be a magical attack (he was a Rider after all) Murtagh found himself very surprised when a Elemental appeared before him and his query of monkey and thief-boy.
"Master!" Chirped a voice that had a hint of seduction in it.
"I wish you'd stop calling me that, my name is Jaycee. Jaycee." Draco squealed something "wasted wish!" and Jaycee blushed, but being as he was being harassed at the time, we'll forgive him for wasting a wish.
There was a silence, then the Elemental glanced over her shoulder at Murtagh, and then to Jaycee.
"Down to three wishes, Jaycee – want me do something about the Rider free of charge?" She, despite being a captured Elemental, was obviously very protective of the boy.
"No, ah, just free him from his ties to Galbatorix…please?" Jaycee asked timidly.
"Sure thing sweetie! Now only two wishes left!" Flai purred seductively, Murtagh felt suddenly freer – the burden on his soul lifted. With a giggle, Flai disappeared.
Murtagh found he was naked – flushed, for all he had left was his father's sword.
Jaycee blushed – and Draco cackled.