Author's Note: Hi! Sorry that this took a little longer than expected but here it is at last! Axel's POV. Thanks to the two wonderful people who reviewed my last chpater, Vedovis and KeakaSenka. You guys are amazing! I love reading your reviews! It makes me all giddy inside XD

Chapter 6: Trying to Figure Out This Life

(Axel's POV)

The moment I got to school I found myself searching for Zexion. I remembered Demyx saying that he would ask the quiet boy about Roxas and I was eager for any information on him even if it wasn't much. I knew that everything hadn't been solved yesterday. Roxas was still in a dark place and most likely still suicidal. I had to give him a reason to stay alive. I wasn't sure how but I had to do it.

"Axel!" I whipped around at the sound of Demyx calling my name. He was standing next to some lockers hand in hand with Zexion. Those two had certainly gotten close quickly. I quickly approached them.

"Hey Demyx," I said. He greeted me in return with a concerned expression.

"Roxas," I said suddenly, my eyes quickly flickering toward Zexion. "I need to know anything you can tell me about him. He's suicidal. I know I'm almost a total stranger to him but I just..." my hand clenched into fists. "I have to help him. Don't ask me why. I just do."

The quiet boy nodded slowly. There was no judgment or confusion in his steady gaze as he launched into his story. "I used to be his best friend. Second to his brother of course. Those two were inseparable. Sora was like the sun." He swallowed hard and bit his lip as a horrible sadness swept his features. "He was so bright and energetic and popular. He was so full of innocence and optimism. He accepted everyone and they accepted him. He had a boyfriend, Riku Sommers, who'd been his best friend since they were in diapers. He loved Riku like crazy. You could see it in his eyes every time they looked at each other. But no matter how much he loved his boyfriend Roxas always came first. Always.

Roxas has always been very different than his twin. He was kind of quiet, a little grumpy, rather unapproachable. At least that's the way he seemed. The truth is, he just didn't really know how to deal with people. There's always been something... off about him. For as long as I remember his eyes have always been haunted by some hidden horror. And every so often I'd catch a glimpse of the same secret agony in Sora's eyes when he thought that nobody would see it.

I speculated over what they could be hiding. I cared about Roxas a great deal. Much deeper than I knew he would ever even consider feeling for me." His eyes darted toward Demyx apologetically before he continued. "Which is why it hurt so very much when he shoved me out of his life so forcefully after his brothers death and refused to even acknowledge my existence. Actually he refused to acknowledge anything really. Just sort of turned himself off and started existing on autopilot.

Anyways, It took a while before I began to realize that they both were always sporting some sort of injury. There was the occasional black eye, the small cuts, the faint bruises, and the horrible accidents every so often. Once at a sleepover when I accidentally walked in on Roxas changing I saw the horrible scar on his back and the skin around it was a disfigured mess of discolored bruises and broken skin.

I never got proof or confirmation from them but I think... I think it might be there mother. She..."

Zexion suddenly pause mid sentence, his eyes fixed on something over my shoulder. I suddenly became aware that Demyx was also looking in the same direction. I slowly turned around to see the cute little blond we'd just been discussing standing behind me. He stared at me, his expression blank.

"Roxas," I choked out.

His bright blue eyes suddenly snapped into focus, drilling directly into mine. I had to resist taking a step back as I was hit with the full intensity of his gaze. "I want to talk to you alone."

The only other time I'd heard him speak was when he'd called out his brother's name in the hospital. His voice had been so broken and desperate then. Now it was surprisingly strong and determined. I was stunned by the sudden life he was showing. Quickly shaking away my shock and nodded my head. "Ya, sure."

He spun on his heel and marched away without another word. I glanced quickly at my friends. Zexion still looked shocked. Demyx was unusually serious as he patted me on the back and whispered a 'good luck'. I nodded at them both and took off after Roxas. He glanced back only once as we walked as if checking to be sure I'd followed. I was lead outside and around the side of the school before the blond halted and turned to face me.

"Why did you do it?"

The way he asked the question I could tell it had been eating at him. I had no idea what he was talking about though. All I could concentrate on was the fire in his baby blues and the slight flush to his cheeks. He was absolutely adorable all fired up like this. So full of life.

"Do what?" I mumbled stupidly.

His eyes suddenly dropped from mine and his voice lost its fight. "Why did you stop me?"

Oh. Of course. How terribly sad that this poor broken boy couldn't comprehend why someone would want to save his life. My heart ached for him and his pain. "Roxas nobody has nothing to live for. You still have a whole life ahead of you. I know you've been through hell but there are still things to live for. You can meet people, find someone to care about and people to care about you in return. It doesn't have to end."

He tensed up. He was attempting to sound angry but all I could hear was desperation."You don't understand. Sora was the only person who ever cared and he's gone now. It hurts so much. I can't... I can't..." His control was slipping for a moment and I saw the naked agonizing horror behind his mask of frustration. He took a deep breath, shoving the pain away and I felt an strong urge to comfort him. It was a struggle to resist as I waited for him to continue. "I don't see any purpose for me in this life. I can't do this anymore. I was going to be free. I was going to see my brother again. But you stopped me. You stopped me from finally being happy. Why did you do that!"

I thought for a second, thinking back on everything I'd learned about Roxas. I need something to use against him to convince him to live. The obvious choice had to be Sora, Roxas's biggest weakness. "Would your brother really want you to die?"

Don't!" There was real anger in his voice this time. The mention of his brother cause a slight tremor in his hands. "You don't think I've asked myself that a million times a day? Why do you think I've lasted so long? It took me three years to to realize that Sora would hate to see me in so much pain more than he would hate to see me join him and be free and happy. There is nothing for me here but in death I'll have him, I'll have Sora. Sora's all I need. Nobody is this empty life will ever care enough to keep me here."

He was glaring at me like he was contemplating murder. I had been prepared for that though. I'd known his brother would be a touchy topic and I could tell that his anger wasn't entirely directed at me. He was angry at himself.

"Zexion cares." I retorted, remembering the way he'd spoken about Roxas. Even if they hadn't spoken for years and Zexion was going after Demyx now I could tell that he stare cared deeply for his former friend.

Roxas didn't reply for a moment. His sudden silence made me wonder. How exactly did Roxas feel about Zexion. What exactly had he been thinking when he'd shoved his only friend away when he'd needed that friend the most? When he finally met my eyes again there was confusion written across his features and a sad frown plastered over his mouth.

"I care." I didn't mean for the words to slip out but they did, driven by the ache I felt at his hearbreakingly sad expression.

The words made he pause before he nervously mumbled,"You don't even know me."

I shook my head a little and found myself continuing to blurt out things I'd meant to stay in my own mind. "I don't think that's true. You feel it too don't you? This connection. It's like I've seen you somewhere before. It's hard to explain how or why but I just know that I don't want you to die. For some reason I want you to be happy. You deserve to find I nice girl and fall in love. You deserve to have a good family and a wonderful life. You can't die. Not yet."

For a brief, fleeting instant I witnessed Roxas Black smiling.

"What?" I asked when I recovered from the beauty of that splint second wonder.

"That's not going to happen. At least not the part about falling in love with a girl. I'm gay." He sounded slightly amused by it. Roxas. Amused. And apparently gay.

. I tried to come up with something other than 'please make sweet sweet love to me my beautiful angel' as I didn't think that was appropriate for the current circumstances. "Well I'll help you find a nice guy then. Does that mean you aren't going to go running off another bridge the moment this conversation is over?"

I cursed bringing up a depressing topic as I watched that brief bit of beauty end, Roxas's smile flickering out like a candle flame."I... I can't promise you anything."

Unable to resist trying to comfort him in some way I reached out to take his hand, not pulling away even when the blond flinched back from the touch. "I won't let you go anywhere until I know you aren't going to try to die."

I could see the emotions spiraling around in the small boy's head. He shifted uncomfortable before relaxing a little, looking resigned.

"Not today," he finally said. "I wont die today."

Relief washed over me. "Well that's better than nothing. Come on let's get you to class."

We headed back toward the school and it wasn't until we reached his classroom that I realized I'd been holding his hand the entire way there. And he'd let me.