A/N: Additional spoiler warning for 2.01-2.05 for this chapter . . . but not really. Thank you for being wonderful and amazing to those who have read and reviewed the last part. I hope you will enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 8

Danny ran into Steve in the corridor just outside their offices. His partner burst through the glass double doors like a hurricane, looking pissed. As soon as Steve spotted him, he stopped dead in his tracks and glared at Danny, eyes blazing. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he yelled, clearly not bothering if any of the people around the halls heard him. "Did you just talk to Denning?"

Holding up both hands in front of himself in what was meant to be a placating gesture, Danny crossed the distance between them. "Steve, calm down, okay, I just–"

"What, Danny? You just what?" Steve yelled.

"Can we do this inside?" Danny said in a low voice, jerking his head to the glass doors behind Steve. Some people in the corridors had stopped and were staring at them openly.

"I told you I don't need a babysitter," Steve growled and then looked around nervously.

Danny nodded and firmly planted a hand against Steve's chest, feeling the rapid pounding of his partner's heart. "Let's go back inside," he insisted, pushing Steve back a little.

Breathing heavily, eyes darting between the staring people and Danny, Steve eventually nodded. Together they went into the main room of HQ. As soon as they were through the doors, Steve walked away a few steps, deliberately putting some distance between them. Shaking his head, he turned around to face Danny, eyes still wild with anger and hurt, reminding Danny of a wounded, trapped animal. "You talked with Denning behind my back?"

The words stung like knife. Of course, Steve felt betrayed – why hadn't the thought crossed Danny's mind? He had been so caught up in his own anger and frustration about the whole situation – and with the opportunity to give Denning a piece of his mind, he hadn't wasted a second to think about how this must look from Steve's perspective. "I didn't mean to go behind your back," Danny said somewhat helplessly.

"But you did."

"Steve, I was just trying to–"

"I don't care, Danny. I just–" He broke off, setting his jaw tightly, swallowing. "What did he say?"

Danny resisted the urge to try and explain himself, explain away the hurt look in Steve's eyes. But it wasn't what Steve wanted to hear – and Danny didn't really have and explanation for why he had dropped Steve off at HQ without telling him that Denning wanted to see him and then excused himself to go and talk to the man himself. He hadn't just done it to protect Steve, give him a little break. It had mostly been for his own benefit, to satisfy his own urge to do something, to stop himself from feeling helpless and useless.

Some friend he was.

So, instead of telling Steve all that, he just heaved a sigh and averted his gaze to the floor. "You're suspended until the investigation is over."

Nodding, Steve just took the information in silently. "He put you in charge?"

"Just until this is over," Danny repeated firmly.

"Anything else?" Steve asked curtly, his voice hoarse.

Danny shook his head. "Denning wants answers first."

Steve simply nodded again. "My gun and badge are in the top drawer of my desk," he said, glancing over his shoulder to his office. "I'm heading out."

Still perplexed by the previous statement, Danny only realized that Steve was leaving HQ when he was half-way to the doors. "What– Wait!" he called after him. Catching up with a few quick steps, Danny grabbed Steve's arm.

As if his hand was hot as fire, Steve jerked his arm out of Danny's grasp. "Just– let me go," he said sharply.

"Steve–"

"Please," he added, speaking so softly, it was barely a whisper.

Knowing that there was nothing he could do to keep Steve from leaving, running away, Danny nodded. "I'll call you when there's any news?" he asked, hoping he could convince his partner to at least keep a line of communication open between them.

"Yeah, sure," Steve said absently. He hesitated for a moment, but then shook his head and walked out.

Danny stared after him, not sure what to do next. There wasn't much to do after all.

Expect for waiting. And hoping. And praying.

"Where's he going?"

Startled by the familiar voice coming from behind his back, Danny whirled around. Chin, standing in the open door to his office, was looking at him questioningly. "Don't know," Danny answered with a shrug.

"It's probably for the best if he's not around," Chin said grimly. "In case Kershaw comes back asking more questions. Steve doesn't need that right now."

"No, he doesn't."

Danny was about to go to his own office when Chin spoke again. "I told him that Denning wanted to see him. I didn't know that you–"

"It's alright," Danny said quickly, holding in a sigh. "You didn't know. And besides, I shouldn't have talked to Denning alone, not without telling Steve. I went behind–"

"What the hell?" Kono yelled, eyes blazing with wild anger as she burst through the glass doors with such force, Danny was afraid they'd shatter to a million pieces. "No, seriously, what the hell!"

"Kono," Chin started calmly, walking towards his cousin with cautiously raised hands.

"What Chin?" she shot back, glaring at him. "You wanna explain to me why I'm the last person on the entire island to find out about what happened? Why didn't you call me?"

"I tried."

"Once."

"Yeah, and you didn't pick up so I figured you were out catching some waves and would call me back as soon as you got out of the water. Which you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

Chin pulled his cell from his pants pocket and checked the display. "Once," he said, with raised eyebrows. "Sorry, it's been kind of busy around here."

Kono simply rolled her eyes, clearly still pissed.

"How did you hear about it?" Danny was suddenly afraid that the story had already somehow leaked to the press.

"The new IA guy, Kershaw, he was waiting at my place when I got back from the beach," Kono said with a dark frown.

"What?" Danny stared at her incredulously. "What the hell did he want from you?"

Kono gave half a shrug. "He asked all kinds of questions about Steve. At first it was all about how he's been acting lately, if it was like him to forget things, stuff like that." She sighed and raked a hand through her still damp and messy hair. "He got personal, man. Wanted to know if I ever saw him drink too much. If he ever lost his temper on the job . . ." she trailed off, shaking her head.

Chin huffed out a sarcastic snort. "He asked me the same stuff after they took Steve to the hospital."

"What did you tell him?" Danny asked, looking back and forth between the cousins.

"I told him to fuck off," Kono all but yelled.

Danny gulped. "You didn't."

"No, but I told him Fryer had more class than he does."

Chin quirked an eyebrow at that, a barely detectable smile crossing his lips.

"Guys, what are we gonna do now?" Kono asked, bouncing on her heels, clearly itching to do something to help Steve. Danny knew the feeling.

"Not much we can do," he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"What? You just wanna sit around and wait for Max to finish his autopsy? One of us should go over there and see what he's got so far."

"We can't get involved in the investigation," Danny warned her.

Kono just growled frustrated. "Well, there's gotta be something we can do," she decided and started looking around the room. "Where's Steve?"

Danny exchanged a quick look with Chin. "He left."

Kono just looked at him, waiting for him to elaborate. But there was nothing more to say. He didn't know where Steve was or what he was doing. All he knew was that his partner needed some time alone – and hopefully wouldn't do anything stupid.

"He left? That's it?" Kono glared at him. "Where did he go?"

Danny heaved a sigh and simply shook his head.

"Wow, uhm, okay," Kono sputtered with a frustrated huff. "Since you guys don't really seem the least bit bothered by what's going on, excuse me while I go find him." With that, she turned around and stormed off towards the doors.

"Kono, stay here!" Danny yelled after her, surprised by the authority in his own voice.

"Really, Danny?" Kono stopped dead in her tracks and whirled around. "Who died and put you in charge?" she spat, fuming with anger.

Danny barely managed not to cringe at the unfortunate choice of words. However, the look on his face still must have been one of utter guilt, because in the next moment, the dark frown disappeared from Kono's face and she just stared at him as if someone had just punched her in the gut. "No," she whispered to herself. Shaking her head slowly, she turned back around and pushed through the doors.

"Kono!" Danny yelled after her again. He wanted to hurry after her, but a soft hand on his arm stopped him.

"Let her go, brah."

…

Kono breathed a sigh of relief when she spotted Steve's Silverado parked underneath a row of large trees lining the road along the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific. She slowed down and pulled up right behind the truck, eyes looking over the wide-open graveyard. She easily spotted Steve, who was just standing there in the middle of the bright green, gazing down at the headstone in front of him. It had to be his father's grave. She wasn't sure, she'd never been here before.

Blowing out a deep breath, she steeled her resolve, pulled the key out of the ignition and grabbed the small box from the passenger seat. Slowly, she made her way across the grass, trying to make some noise in the process. She didn't want to startle Steve. He didn't move, not even when she came to stand right next to him. He just stood there, staring at the headstone.

John McGarrett – Lt. Navy – Vietnam – Det. HPD – Beloved Husband and Father – March 15, 1942 – September 20, 2010

They stood silently next to each other for a long while. It surprised Kono a little that Steve accepted her presence here, that didn't tell her to leave him alone. She wasn't sure what she had expected to find – Steve was one of the strongest, most put-together people she had ever known. She had had no idea how he'd act and react in a situation like this.

"How'd you know I was here?"

His voice, hoarse and quiet, startled her. Swallowing hard, she looked up to him and attempted a smile. "I didn't," she admitted, eyes dropping to the ground again when she saw that his were still fixed on the headstone. "I've been looking all over the island before I came here." She suddenly remembered the small box in her hands. Holding it up a little, she opened the lid. "Gave me a chance to pick up these, though."

Steve glanced at the box. "Malasadas from Leonard's?" he asked, a small smile tugging at his lips.

"Yeah," Kono said and frowned. "Hope you like the Haupia filling."

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry, Kono."

With a shrug, she dropped down to sit cross-legged on the grass. "Well, I guess it's a good thing then that you don't really have to be hungry to eat these." Setting the box down in front of herself, she glanced up at him and jerked her chin to the spot on the ground next to her. "Come on, sit."

It took a long moment, but eventually, Steve heaved a sigh and sat down next to her. He didn't look at her, just stared into the distance with unfocused eyes. Not sure what to say – or if she should say anything at all – Kono grabbed a pastry from the box and started eating, letting her gaze wander over the cemetery and the landscape beyond. It was beautiful day, with only a few clouds hanging heavily over the mountaintops in the distance. The image reminded her of Steve. It hadn't always been this way, but in recent weeks, months maybe, there was this darkness looming over him, like an invisible burden he carried around with him.

When she finished her second Malasada, she grabbed the box and shoved it under Steve's nose. "Come on, don't make me eat all these alone. Because . . . I will." These things were her comfort food. And she felt like she needed them right now, and more than just the one box. But Steve looked like he needed them more.

He looked at her, holding her gaze for a long moment and then nodded, smiling slightly. He grabbed a pastry from the carton and took a huge bite, savoring the taste. Kono couldn't help a bright smile from spreading across her face. Watching him eat somehow provided a different, much more satisfying kind of comfort.

"What?" he asked when he noticed that she was trying to stifle a laugh.

"It's nothing," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand, still smiling. "Just . . . remember your birthday cake?"

"How could I forget?"

"Sorry about that," she grinned at him.

"Oh, you will be," he vowed, smiling too now.

"Promises, promises," she teased, bumping her shoulder into his.

They lapsed into silence again, enjoying the peacefulness and the quiet. Kono carefully kept an eye on Steve as he slowly finished off the entire box. It looked like he had been pretty hungry after all.

"I forgot how good these were," he said, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth after swallowing the last bite.

"You wouldn't believe how many of those I ate when I was suspended," she said, trying to keep the tone of her voice casual. It was somewhat of a cheap shot, but she wanted to make him talk about what was happening, make him open up a little. She didn't expect him to pour his heart out, she just hoped he'd give her a little glimpse of what was going on inside his head, enough to give her an idea of what she could do to help.

The smile on Steve's face turned into a frown. His tongue ran over his lips as he looked out into the distance again. "I'm sorry about how that went down," he said flatly. "The whole thing with Fryer – I should have been there for you."

Kono sighed, wanting to punch herself in the face. This wasn't the reaction she had expected. She came here to help, not to guilt trip him about things that were long in the past – things that were not his fault to begin with.

"I pushed you away, all of you, even Chin," Kono said firmly, looking at him even though Steve was still staring straight ahead, seeing nothing. "I had to."

"I shouldn't have let you," he said, his voice hollow.

"It's not like I gave you much of a choice."

"Kono–"

"No. It was part of my cover. Delano had to believe that I was ready to cut all ties with Five-0," she said, putting her hand on his shoulder. "There was nothing you could've done."

"You should never have been in that position in the first place," Steve insisted stubbornly. "Fryer put you out there all alone"

"I could handle it."

Steve didn't say anything, just dropped his eyes to his father's grave again.

Kono gave his shoulder a firm squeeze. "And you know why? Because you made me a damn good cop."

Steve just shook his head slowly. "It was still too dangerous. You were on your own. I shouldn't have let that happen."

"I wasn't on my own."

"Fryer wasn't exactly good back-up."

"I'm not talking about Fryer. I knew you guys would be there if I needed you. That's what kept me going, you know. Knowing that I was protecting you and that no matter what, I could always count on you to be there when it was all over." She looked at him, waiting for some kind of reaction, but the pained frown on his face remained firmly in place. "And you can, too," Kono continued softly. "We're here, you know. No matter what's going to happen, you'll always have us. That's never going to change." She gave his shoulder another squeeze. "Ohana."

Steve briefly looked up at her, eyes full of sadness and regret. "Yeah. I know," he said, voice just above a whisper. He then put a hand on hers and removed it from his shoulder.

Kono frowned at his reaction. "What?"

He ignored her, just pushed himself up to stand and turned away from her.

"Hey, what?" she called again, jumping up herself. "Steve?"

He ran a hand over his face and spun around to look at her again. "I don't want to drag any of you any further into this mess."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Kono all but yelled, the anger in her voice entirely fueled by worry.

"Everything. It's not fair . . . to anyone." Steve looked at her for a long moment with dark eyes before he turned back around again and started to walk away towards his car.

Kono went to go after him, not willing to just let him cut her – all of them – out. They were family. And whatever he'd meant by 'everything', they were in it together. Fair on them or not, it didn't matter. Because none of this was fair to him either. No matter how stupidly self-deprecating he wanted to be about all the shit people kept piling onto him, none of it was his fault. And no one, not even fucking Steve McGarrett himself could tell her to stay away. She'd beat that into that thick skull of him if necessary.

Catching up to him with a few quick steps, she grabbed his elbow, firmly – because she wasn't gonna let go. "Wait."

He stopped and turned to look at her, eyes pleading. "Kono–"

"No." Shaking her head, she stared him right in the eye. "You're not getting rid of me."

"Kono–"

"I drove two hours to find you."

He raised his eyebrows at that, surprised.

Kono sighed. Fucking idiot. She would have looked for days and it would have been worth every second. But he didn't get that. Still didn't get it. Even after North Korea he didn't understand that – no matter how lost he got – they would always come find him, bring him back home.

And anyone could see that he was more lost right now than he had been in North Korea.

"Yeah. That means you owe me fifty bucks for gas," she said, shrugging up one shoulder. "And since you never have any cash on you, you're just gonna have to come back to HQ with me."

Brows creased in confusion now, he looked down to her hand still firmly curled around his arm. She tightened her grip, making him understand that he wasn't going anywhere.

"Okay," he said with a resigned sigh, not looking back up at her again.

- to be continued -