Hello, dear readers! Thank you for reading, adding this to story alert, favorite stories, et cetera. Thank you for leaving reviews, they make my day each time!

As always, I don't own anything in this story. Julian, Logan, and Derek belong to CP Coulter, and Hogwarts and Diagon Alley and everything else belongs to JK Rowling. The only thing that is actually mine is Cal.

So a quick note: We need to remember that in this story, Logan and Derek are eleven (Derek's birthday is in the spring and Logan's is in the summer, in my mind) and Julian is twelve (by the end of this chapter). That being said, eleven-twelve year olds don't come out of the closet. Half the time they don't even realize they're gay. Logan is starting to realize it in this chapter, or at least his suspicions have been confirmed. Most likely, Logan won't be coming out of the closet until third year.

If any part of this chapter confuses you, PLEASE let me know. I wasn't sure if it was clear enough exactly what's going on with Logan. You can review or message me or send me an ask on tumblr (flightofdeathfrench). I'm always open to explaining, and if enough people are like "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, WOMAN?" then I'll just make it more clear in the next chapter.

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Chapter 4

Logan talked to Julian a very minimal amount for the week between returning to Hogwarts and Julian's birthday. He was most definitely ignoring Julian on purpose, but Julian couldn't figure out why. It wasn't like Julian had done anything to him – Julian had written Logan multiple letters, and none of them had said anything that would make Logan angry at him.

Derek tried asking Logan why he was angry at Julian, but Logan refused to tell. So Julian told him, in low tones while they were brushing their teeth in the bathroom and Logan was using the toilet, to drop it. That Logan would have to come around eventually, or face an awkward 6½ more years at Hogwarts.

Julian really hoped Logan wouldn't prefer the latter.

He tried to sound confident in front of Derek, though, like he knew exactly what was going on and he wasn't upset about it at all.

But he was.

On the night before his birthday, after Derek, Logan, and Zane were asleep, buried under their covers, hangings wrapped around their beds, Julian carefully, silently pulled back the emerald green hangings on his own bed. He crept toward the 'window' that wasn't really a window; it was just an enchanted portrait that had been put up after enough people complained about the lack of windows in the dungeons.

It was sort of weird to look at the portrait and think, Well, that's not really a window. You have no way of knowing if that's really what's out there. Maybe it's not actually a waxing crescent – maybe it's a full moon. Maybe there are no stars. Or maybe it's cloudy and you can't tell. You just have to trust that what you see in this portrait is what's really there.

Julian didn't trust that, though. He wanted to know what exactly was outside. He didn't trust that what he saw was what was really there. That was the kind of person he was, and maybe there was a reason he was that way, but if there was he didn't know it.

.

Julian awoke on the morning of his birthday to Logan bouncing on his bed. "GET UP GET UP GET UP!" Logan was shouting.

Julian blinked and was trying to figure out what was going on (wasn't Logan mad at him?) when Zane said, "Shut up, it's too early to get up."

Derek joined Logan and Julian on Julian's bed, holding two boxes, one not wrapped at all (it was shoe box) and one wrapped nicely in brown paper with a red bow on the top. "These are your presents!" he said.

"My presents?" Julian was still a little disoriented, but he was beginning to gather that it was his birthday. "From both of you?"

"Duh," Logan said, grabbing one of the boxes out of Derek's hand and thrusting it toward Julian. "Here. His is chocolate, you already know that."

Derek whacked him on the arm but Logan ignored him.

Logan put the box on Julian's chest, and it pushed Julian back down flat on the bed.

"Can't…breathe…" he choked out.

Logan, a look of alarm on his face, quickly grabbed the large box off Julian's chest. "Here." He held it out to the birthday boy, who sat up and rubbed his eyes before taking the box. He set it on the bed in front of him, and as Logan looked on eagerly and Derek watched curiously, he tore the wrapping off ("Hey, careful with the wrapping!") ("It's just stupid wrapping paper, Logan. I didn't even bother to wrap mine.") ("Well I wanted mine to look nice!") and slit the tape closing the box. He opened it and saw –

"Wizard's chess?" His eyes got big as he stared at the brand new, perfect condition wizard's chess set. "How did you get this?"

"My dad took me and my f-friend," he stumbled on the word friend, "to Diagon Alley for Christmas shopping and I bought you that." He was blushing slightly.

"How did you buy it?" Derek asked, leaning in closer so he could see, as Julian began unpacking the pieces.

"I got money for Christmas." Logan grinned. "So you like it?"

"The one I have at home is all banged up and all the pieces have chips in them from years of going at each other." Julian pulled a knight out and squealed delightedly as it pulled its sword and poked at his hand. "I love wizard's chess!"

"I was hoping…" Logan was shy all of a sudden. "I was hoping you'd play it with me."

Julian's smile faded slowly, a look of seriousness replacing it on his face, and he turned big brown eyes up to Logan. "You want to play with me?" he asked, voice quiet, almost a whisper, because if he were to say it out loud and Logan were to tell him that no, Julian was being ridiculous and actually could he have the wizard's chess set back please? then Julian would feel like it was okay because he hadn't actually asked out loud. He hadn't really put himself out there for rejection.

"Yeah." Logan smiled in what he hoped was a normal, 'why-wouldn't-i?' way.

.

"Who's that for?" Cal asked, adjusting his Hufflepuff scarf on his neck (it was too tight, he felt weird, like he was choking).

"For my friend." Logan put the chess set on the counter of the store and cleared his throat loudly, like he'd seen his father do, to get the attention of the witch running the shop.

"Who's your friend?" Cal asked, a hint of jealousy in his voice.

"Julian." Logan pulled out his money sack and carefully extracted the correct amount. He placed it on the counter and waited while the witch counted it.

"Who's Julian?" Cal asked.

"My friend," Logan said loudly, annoyed.

"Do you like him?" Cal asked.

Logan's eyes got wide in alarm and he shoved Cal away from him. "Go wait outside. I'll be out in a minute and then we can leave."

"It was just a question!" Cal held up his hands in defense. "I didn't mean do you like him like him. Obviously. He's a guy."

"Go." Logan's voice was low and menacing, but he flashed the witch a smile as she handed him the box containing the chess set.

Logan waited until Cal was outside to say to the witch, "Could you wrap this please? I'm not very good at wrapping and I want it to look nice…"

"Sure." She smiled at him and took the box, placed it on the counter, and asked, "What color?"

Logan thought. Brown. That was the color of Julian's eyes. "Brown."

The witch waved her wand and a roll of paper appeared on the counter. She waved it again and the paper wrapped itself around the box, making neat folds and creases, taping itself, and a red bow even appeared on the top.

"Is that alright?" the witch asked.

"Perfect." Logan picked up the box carefully and held it with both hands so he wouldn't drop it. "Thanks."

.

"You're weird, Logan." Cal examined the brand new broomstick lying on the ground in front of them. "You want me to give you flying lessons? Why? Aren't you a good flyer?"

"No." Logan shivered and pulled his hat down over his forehead. "Julian and Derek are way better than me."

"So what?" Cal picked up the broomstick and looked at it closely. "This is really nice…"

"My dad got it for me for Christmas." Logan was trying to change the subject so they could stop talking about why Logan wanted flying lessons, and just start the flying lessons.

"Well… I can't teach you how to fly. I have to go in for dinner in a few minutes. Ask Derek to do it when we get back to school, he's on Slytherin's Quidditch team, isn't he?" Cal looked at Logan. "Are you okay?"

Logan was staring at Cal, unblinking, trying to figure something out. "Yeah, I'm fine." He tried to look away but he wasn't sure he could.

"You just seem like…maybe you're getting sick or something." Cal put his hand on Logan's arm. He was going to say something comforting, but he didn't, because the look in Logan's eyes was creeping him out. Logan had gotten all stiff and he wasn't moving and he was just staring. Almost like…

"I have to go," Cal said abruptly. "Sorry, Logan. I'll see you tomorrow."

Logan stared at the fence separating their houses long after Cal had climbed over it and dropped down on the other side.

Then he picked up the broomstick from where Cal had dropped it in the snow, and he threw it as far as he could. He kicked the ground and he kicked the nearby oak tree that he and Cal used to climb. He punched the side of his house until his knuckles bled. And then he punched himself.