Epilogue #3: Save Me From Myself

She stood in the gloom of the night and looked around. A smile filled her face as she struck the match and watched the flame ignite and glow…

It's not so easy—loving me.
It gets so complicated,
All the things you've gotta be.
Everything's changin',
But you're the truth.
I'm amazed by all your patience—
Everything I put you through.

"Jason Morgan, I can't! I WONT! I don't care if you say the roads flooded out from some freak summer STORM! I don't care! You have to fix this, Jason! I can't—I don't care if you have to carry me or push that damn SUV or we have to swim, but I cannot—WILL NOT DO THIS! NOT HERE! NOT NOW! JA-ASE!"

"Carly, CALM DOWN!" Jason sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked around the room in the flickering candlelight bathing his mostly nude beautiful wife in its glow. "Why did I think I wouldn't be dealing with your PLANS gone wrong once we got married?"

"Because you were too happy to have me to dwell on the down side?" she grinned as sweat gleamed on her lovely face. "And you've loved almost all of my schemes since we got married. They usually end a lot more pleasurably than this one. OW!"

"FUCK!" he snarled rushing from the window to his VERY pregnant wife's side to help her through her latest contraction. "Come on, baby. Just breathe and count to ten."

Carly couldn't help the chuckle that burst forth while she fought to breathe through her contraction. "I hate you, Jason Morgan," she gasped sounding slightly hysterical. "TWO WEEKS, JASON! Dr. Lee said two weeks! All I wanted was one romantic night with my husband. Was that so much to ask? I just wanted to feel sexy and have the night be special!" Her face became a picture of sorrow and torment as her hormones took yet another sudden swing towards tears.

"Oh, this is special, Carly," Jason snorted.

"JASON!"

Carly smiled as she thought of how insane that night had been. How insane she had been, especially. She moved happily from candle to candle lighting each to create the right ambiance. When she'd lit the final candle, she lifted her matchstick and blew it out with a puff of air.

When I'm about to fall,
Somehow you're always waitin'
with your open arms to catch me.
You're gonna save me from myself—
from myself, yes.
You're gonna save me from myself.

"I can't do this, Jase!" she panted on the verge of panic. "I can't! I cannot give birth to the twins in a CABIN in the woods that used to be a BOXCAR!"

"Carly—" Jason said coolly in an effort to calm her.

"No, Jase!" she snapped. "I'm giving birth to the twins in a beautiful maternity suite that I've designed specifically for our family. You'll be there and Mama and Michael and Morgan and Lucas and Lulu and Shawn, and Gia and Vangie and Steffy's flying in to be here for us and Michael and Luke and Lucky and Emily and even Monica and Edward because they're Quartermaines and pushy and your family—"

"Carly!"

"—and you love them and they love you even though they drive us all crazy, but I drive you crazy, too, and you still love me!" She rambled desperately. "And Jax will have Josslyn that night and Jason, the DRUGS! Jase, there'll be DRUGS there! You forget I've done this twice before without them and I want the drugs, Jase! I WANT THE DRUGS!"

"CARLY!"

"Yeah, Jase?" she whimpered as she felt another contraction building.

"I can see the head," he replied flatly. "Now, I need you to calm down! You can do this, baby! We're together and you always say we can do anything as long as we're together, right? And you never lie to me, do you?"

She nodded reflexively. "Right. Right!"

"So when I say 'push', I need you to push!" he directed.

"I never thought I'd live to see the day," she joked weakly. "All our lives it's been 'Carly, you push too much!', 'Don't PUSH so hard, Carly!', and 'Stop PUSHING, Carly!' Now, we're trapped in this cabin and you're ready to change your tune. It's all—"

"PUSH!"

Carly shook her head as she grabbed the container of rose petals and began sprinkling them across their bed. She chuckled to herself as she remembered the look on Jason's face when he realized that giving birth to twins would not to be the biggest surprise that night. The big surprise had been that she wouldn't be giving birth to twins—she'd be birthing triplets: Madeline Jean, Jacqueline Lu, and their biggest surprise, Mason Jacob Morgan-Maddy, Jacey, and MJ, for short.

It had taken a while to talk her down from the lawsuit against Dr. Lee, but as always Jason had managed. They had been forced to spend the whole night, but it had been a special moment that really gave them a chance to bond as a new family. Not that Carly should have been so surprised, special Morgan family moments seemed to be par for the course for their little retreat in the woods. That immediately brought to mind their first night there together. He'd kidnapped her from one of a million planning sessions for their wedding with promises of a special surprise for his bride.

My love is tainted by your touch.
Cuz some guys have shown me aces,
But you've got that royal flush.
I know it's crazy everyday.
Well tomorrow may be shaky,
But you never turn away.

"You're really not gonna tell me," she'd wheedled as he turned down a battered lane bringing the cabin into view. "You rented a cabin?"

He pulled the SUV to a stop and was silent for a moment. "When I woke from the coma, I was already Jason Morgan. I never knew Jason Quartermaine, but that was all his family—our family—saw. It was all they wanted to see. And I can understand that better now after everything we went through when Michael woke up."

Carly sat silent in complete shocked that he was opening up without her having to pry using her emotional crowbar.

"It was hard and confusing and lonely to have no one see me when they looked at me. Just the broken version of a better, more interesting person I never knew," he continued his voice so devoid of motion he could have been talking about someone else's life instead of his own. "Meeting Robin and Sonny made things hurt less and feel less lonely, although I didn't even realize that was what I was feeling because there was so much anger. I broke away from the Quartermaines and ended up here."

Carly looked around and frowned. "But I thought you lived—the boxcar?"

"They tore it down so I bought the land and had this place built," he explained. "The boxcar was the first place I ever felt real and free without anything of Jason Quartermaine coloring it. And I need to bring the first person who ever made me feel that way here because you deserve to know how much you really mean to me."

"Oh, god, Jason!" she gasped as tears fell as he hopped out and came around to her side.

"Things have gotten so crazy with planning the wedding, I thought maybe we should take a moment to remind us what it all really means," he said taking her face in his hands and kissing her.

"I love you more with every beat of my heart, Jason Morgan," she whispered happily. "I love my surprise!"

"That's not all," he grinned as he led her inside.

She smiled and hummed as she set up the champagne glasses. For a man who could hide his emotions so well, when he shared them, he could be the most romantic man alive. But only with her and for the rest of their lives. It made doing things for him so easy because he filled her with such love and joy. She set up the last of their evening and looked around.

Perfect, except— She looked down and noticed she hadn't changed into her ensemble for the evening. It was never necessary for her to dress up for him because he loved her in everything she wore, but she liked to surprise him. Sometimes she'd wear tight tops and teeny little skirts like when they first met. Sometimes she'd do jeans and a tee. There had even been a couple of occasions when she'd worn costumes that he'd been surprisingly receptive to. She knew he would enjoy her outfit for tonight's festivities as well.

Don't ask me why I'm cryin'.
Cuz when I start to crumble,
You know how to keep me smilin'.
You always save me from myself—
from myself, myself.
You're gonna save me from myself.

"Michael? Steffy?"

Carly turned to her fiancé in confusion as Morgan came barreling out of the other room. "Joss will be waking up soon. Is she here?"

"Am I to assume that I am the she in question?" Carly grinned looking around in shocked amusement. "What have you guys been up to?"

"No questions, Momma," Michael asserted taking her arm as Steffy did the same on her other side. "You just go with Steffy and she'll bring you out when it's time. Love you."

And with an affectionate shove, the door was closed on her, Steffy, and a sleeping Joss. "What is going on?"

"No time for questions, Carly," Steffy chuckled with a shake of her head. "If you love Jason Morgan as much as you say, you'll go into that bathroom and change. And because I'm not COMPLETELY heartless, if you're quick enough, I might answer a question or two."

"You drive a hard bargain," Carly groaned with a squint of her eyes "But you win."

In the bathroom, she found her wedding lingerie and a beautiful yet simple white wedding dress. Her heart twisted in her chest as she realized what was going on. She hurriedly stripped. She found her favorite perfume and added it to her ensemble as she dressed. Ten minutes later, she padded out face clean and tears glistening.

Steffy grinned and nodded fighting her own tears. "Here. These are for you."

Carly opened the first case to find her necklace and earring with a not that read, 'Something old.' Next box's note read, 'Something blue' and had a diamond tennis bracelet with a blue diamond heart charm. In the box marked 'Something borrowed' was his wedding band—on the back it said, 'I expect to get that back during the ceremony.' and Carly chuckled tearily reading it. The final box was obviously for something new and she found a new charm for her bracelet… a boxcar.

That afternoon, in the garden behind the cabin, Father Coates performed a beautiful ceremony for just the six of them. They exchanged rings and promises and made their commitment to each other before God and their children. The kids took the SUV and dropped Father Coates at Queen of Angels. They left him Jason's motorcycle and they spent that weekend making love and new dreams for their future together.

She hummed as she slicked on a red lipstick that matched her dress exactly. They'd married again for their friends and family at Queen of Angels with the reception at Jake's. It had been beautiful, and Carly had loved every blissful second, but it somehow managed to only be second best to a tiny ceremony in the sun amongst flowers with just the man she loved more than any other, her kids, and her someday daughter-in-law.

Now, as she made her way to the stereo and hit play, their song quietly filled empty spaces. She turned her head and listened knowing the sound of his bike anywhere. The distinct sensation of wholeness filled her as she waited.

I know it's hard, it's hard,
But you've broken all my walls.
You've been my strength, so strong.

"Babe!" his voice called as he threw open the door. She only had mere seconds to observe him, but she could see the stress and fatigue etched into every inch of him melting off of him as he looked around. "What?"

"Happy New Year's Eve, Jase!" her throaty voice said just above a whisper. She could feel the impact of his gaze on her body, which was artfully posed along their pool table. She watched the intense cerulean gaze go up in flames of desire when his mind processed the sight she made. "And before you say anything, I had a plan and it worked like a charm."

His eyes narrowed slightly at the word 'plan ', but he kicked the door shut and began pacing slowly towards her like a panther stalking its prey. "Oh, really?" his passion-roughened voice challenged.

"You, sir, have the night off. Shawn will be handling anything that comes up unless it's a dire emergency that requires your attention specifically," she explained dancing her fingers up and down her curves tauntingly. "I got him to play me in poker."

"I told him to never play a Spencer in games of chance," he growled, his desire steadily decivilizing him.

"He had to learn his lesson the hard way," she purred loving the feeling of being stalked. "Kinda like someone else I know. The triplets and Joss are with their Grandma Monica and Great-Grandfather."

"Any more plans?" he whispered from two feet his body tensing to pounce.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe a few," she cooed. "You know a game of pool, a little close dancing, a little champagne." She nodded toward the two waiting flutes and the bottle of Dom in the ice bucket. "What do you think? Or maybe you could help me come up with a few other ways we could ring in the New Year."

"I think it wouldn't be New Year's without fireworks," he hissed removing his jacket and tossing it on the nearby couch.

She snapped her fingers pretending annoyance as she swung up into a seated position. "Well, darnit! I didn't bring any fireworks!" she pouted for affect. "You don't think you'd be able to help me out with that, do you?"

"How's this for fireworks?" he growled before pouncing and ravaging her mouth. He immediately lifted her and her arms legs wrapped around him.

"It's a start," she panted before he sank back into her mouth.

He began making his way toward the bedroom, but suddenly began spinning with her in his arms.

"What are you doing?" she breathed feeling a little dizzy.

"You said your plans included dancing and pool so I figured we could take care of the dancing on the way to the fireworks and come back later for pool," he whispered between biting kisses.

For some reason that escaped her passion-drugged mind, tears filled her eyes "I love you more than I ever though it was possible to love anyone. And I need you like I need my next breath to live."

His mouth crushing hers was his only response as he danced her over to their bedroom door. "Happy New Year's, love!"

And don't ask me why I love you.
It's obvious your tenderness
Is what I need to make me
a better woman to myself—
to myself, myself.
You're gonna save me from myself.
~Save Me From Myself, Christina Aguilera

THE END