| 5 |

| . EVEN . IF . I . COULD . |

Aimee sighed, dodging people as she went through the halls of the Helicarrier. The last thing she wanted was to be caught by Nick and told she couldn't interrogate Loki, though she didn't know if he would even have a solid reason for it. She wasn't truly biased and she would even be useful in getting information out of him. She passed by the lab, being sure not to look directly in so Bruce and Tony wouldn't see her, and she glanced in anyway. They were still there, chattering about something with Steve and Bri, hopefully still tracking the cube. If anything, finding it was more of a priority than interrogating Loki, but she felt it could help.

She knew the room he was being kept in, for it was something she had been shown many times in order to deter her from thinking about letting Carmen get the better of her, and she found it with ease. Being sure the rest of the hall was empty –there were cameras, but they wouldn't catch her fast enough; the door would be long sealed shut—she slipped into the room and closed the door tightly behind her, closing the seal and locking it securely. It would keep people out, even though the door stood little chance for someone like Bri or even Steve. The old man certainly still had the ability to pull a steel door off its hinges. She only needed time.

Her steps up the small set of stairs were silent, though she could pick up the slight 'clink' as her boots made contact with the metal, and she paced around to where the door of the cage was. At first, his back had been to her, but he had turned to hold her incinerating gaze of dull flames as she approached the area she needed to be. For several minutes, there were no words between them and she looked longingly at the computer screen nearby, debating whether or not to go into the cage herself. Acting on impulse, she went over to it, hit a few select buttons and set a timer, then hit a final button.

The door to the cage opened and she took long strides to the inside, beating the door just as it closed behind her. Immediately, all walls were out of the way and she stood there. There were a multitude of expressions on his face. She wouldn't be surprised if he had suddenly taken her earlier words seriously, that she was there to kill him because he had pissed her off to no extent. There also seemed to be some thoughts in his head that he could take advantage of her here. She wouldn't allow it to happen, though, and she still only had a certain amount of time even though she had locked herself in the room and in the cage.

Loki continued to gaze at her warily. "Why are you here?"

Aimee swung her arms a bit and went to the bent that was built into the cage, sitting down and pressing her back to one of the four pillars that held the glass together. "I am in here so we can talk."

"You are not in here to kill me?" He appeared a tad surprised at it.

She shook her head. "No. I just want to talk, and we had better get started because I only have a limited amount of time in here before they come to bust me out."

Carefully, Loki sat opposite of her and kept his hands in plain sight. "What is it you wish to talk about?"

"Anything, really." She shrugged, realizing that she hadn't really come in with a topic planned. "Why do you want to take over the Earth?"

"Because I feel like it."

"You're supposed to be the God of Lies and yet I do not believe you." Aimee fiddled with her fingers for a second. "Carmen tells me you're a mere child who is needy of the attention you never received."

He frowned. "I do not believe that is of any concern to y—"

"I know the feeling." When he raised an eyebrow at her, she went on, "My family disowned me years ago and refuse to talk to me or have anything to do with me. Throughout my entire life, I have never felt loved by the people who I loved the most, except Bri. She is my closest friend, my sister." The red-head was even her secret lover, but that had been a joke from other times. "Do you feel lonely and rejected?"

Loki was quiet, and then sighed, "I have my moments, but I have risen above such childish emotions. But, I like this, so let us talk about you." The last thing she wanted to discuss was her, and he could easily tell that. "Why is there such bad blood between you and Agent LeBeau?"

Aimee's expression hardened. "It isn't a topic I enjoy talking about."

"Well, if that is all you have to say, then that is all I have to say."

Damn him. She cursed, touching at Carmen's mind to ask for help.

"Just tell him, child. You need to release that hatred pent up inside of you. Tell him something that will catch him off-guard. Then, kill him."

She rolled her eyes. I am not going to kill him…..yet. "Are you sure you want to know?"

His brow furrowed in confusion. "Should I not? Tell me this tale, regardless, as I would love to know of this."

"The reason Bri hates me so much…" Aimee chewed on the inside of her cheek and closed her eyes, breathing in tightly, and carried on, "is because I killed her first-born son."

She dove into the tale before she could see the reaction on his face:

I remember the day so clearly, as though it's been imprinted in my brain with a hot iron. It had been just another beautiful day and Bri had asked me to watch her son, Lucas, while she went and did something with her husband. We had spent the day walking around the park, eating hot dogs and eventually ice cream. It was a fun day and it was the only part of the day that I really cannot complain about. I loved that little boy with all my heart. He was only eight at the time and he was the sweetest thing on the planet, in my opinion. No one could attempt to convince me any different. I wouldn't have it.

Most of the day was difficult, though, because there was always something off. Someone was following us and I would occasionally catch glimpses of them nearby. They wore matching black clothing and glasses, so they weren't necessarily identifiable. I thought nothing of it. At the time, I had been more confident in using the abilities Carmen would grant me when I demanded them of her, but I hadn't expected what would happen at that point. I figured we would be safe if they bothered to come after us. They smelled and appeared human. I was wrong, though, and it's one of the many mistakes I will regret for the rest of my possibly eternal days.

After spending so much time at the park, we grew bored and decided to head back to Bri's home, where all of his toys were. I had a key, so it was easy to get it. When it got close to dinner, he said he wanted to have a picnic. Picnics were one of his most favorite things in the world. He would constantly gather us and demand a picnic for lunch or even for a snack. He just loved them, even though we didn't understand why most of the time, and we made a picnic with him anyways. It made him smile and he adored spending time with us like that. It was something we went along with. It was fun, though, I must admit, and I think I miss it most.

We were in the backyard, eating our dinner and we had almost finished when the two men I had seen earlier decided to make an appearance in the yard. For a moment, I didn't understand what they were doing there and I was on my feet instantly. They said nothing, and then they attacked. I don't remember much of the actual fight –it's something I've pushed into the depths of my memory—but I do remember that it was one of the most difficult fights I've had. I was unprepared for it and I had underestimated them. I quickly found out that they were not human and that they were not after me. They were after Lucas, and when I discovered that, it set me off.

I lost control and Carmen took over, feeling the need to protect me before I was killed. It was not in her interest to protect Lucas, even though it had been my priority. I was present, though. I could have been fully capable of taking control back and I didn't, because I thought it was better to let Carmen handle them. I was horribly wrong. They went after him and she came out of nowhere, attacking them with the full force of her rage and power. In the midst of it, Lucas got in the way and I ripped half of his face off as well as his throat. There were also other various wounds, but there was one thing I knew:

Lucas was dead and I had killed him.

Once the strangers were gone, I forced Carmen away and went back into this human form. All I could do was stand there and stare at his mangled body. I was covered in blood, practically from head to toe, and there was blood all over the yard. It stained the grass and the picnic that was supposed to be the good end to the day. I was stunned and I couldn't do anything. Bri didn't have neighbors at the time, so it was silent. I had been crying. Then, Bri showed up and everything went south. She cursed at me, screamed and held her dead son, rocking back and forth. Her husband was incredulous as the both of us. I knew exactly what I had done, and I had no way to explain it.

Aimee was crying, the tears slipping carefully down her face, but she made no move to wipe her eyes dry of them. "Bri told me to get out of her life and to never return, that she never wanted to see me again. I was so plagued with grief that I obeyed. I haven't seen her in almost eight years, even when I visited his grave on the anniversary of his death and on his birthday. Showing up twice a year to that headstone has been my agenda, no matter what part of the world I am in."

Loki had listened intently the whole time. "Carmen killed him, though."

"No, I killed him." Her lip quivered slightly, and she prayed Bri was listening. "I loved that little boy so much. I would have put a bullet in my head for him. I could have taken control back from Carmen at the time, but I didn't because I thought she could handle it. I was wrong."

"If you had the opportunity, would you go back and change what you have done?"

She allowed the thought to sink in, allowed her mind to process a proper answer. "…No. Even if I could, I don't believe there is much that I could change. At the time, it had been either turning into Carmen in attempt to save us both or allow me to be slaughtered and Lucas kidnapped or killed. I didn't want to risk it and it's a mistake I regret." She wiped furiously at her face to get rid of the tears, sniffling and chuckling a bit, "Yet, the funny thing is that Tony and Remy have both forgiven me. While I appreciate it, it's not the forgiveness I want. I just want Bri to forgive me. If she won't, then she can feel free to kill me."

It truly was something she regretted doing, because she hadn't been able to do anything else about the situation. She valued her own life, but she had turned into Carmen to try and save them both. She desperately wanted Bri to forgive her for the horrible thing she did. She had tried multiple times to end her own life, attempted it through many different methods. It was incredulous how low she had gotten, but loneliness combined with severe depression and nightmares did that. She had not told a soul of such things because none of those things had ever been a success, obviously. Carmen had kept her from killing herself, something she both hated and appreciated at the same time.

Loki pursed his lips, watching her with his bluish-green gaze, and he sighed. "I do not see you as a killer, even though you were obviously trained to do such things. I find it difficult to believe you would want to remove yourself from this planet."

"Yeah, I found it hard to believe at first, too." She answered, glancing to the door as a loud bang began to sound on it. "But the more I tried to convince myself the world would be better off without me, the more enticing the idea became and the more I tried to succeed in it. Carmen isn't fair, though, so I gave up a few years ago."

"Well…" He hesitated a moment, "I am glad you have not killed yourself."

"And why is that?" She couldn't see any reason he would be glad.

The volume of his voice dropped and he grabbed her by the neck, practically pulling her on top of him and whispering in her ear, "Because I never would have gotten the pleasure to meet you." At her stunned silence, he continued, "I am vengeful and I intend to take the planet Thor adores so much as compensation for the things he has made me suffer throughout our childhood and beyond. I believe it to be a fitting punishment and I would love to see you fight against me. There is a monument in Manhattan where I will wait for you and where I shall unleash my army. It has the Iron Man's name plastered across it."

"Stark Tower…"

He pulled back enough to look her in the eyes, placing a finger on her lips. "Shh. Do not tell any of them. Let them figure such puzzles out on their own." He gave her a light kiss on the cheek. "Off you go, beautiful. I wait eagerly for the moment we meet again."

Aimee was still stunned, but pulled herself back and stood up. She lingered there for a moment, then turned and went to the door of the cage as it opened, slipping back out as it closed. She needed to think and she headed to the steel door. Punching a few buttons on the keypad, the door opened wide and Steve fell through, landing on the floor in front of her. She raised an eyebrow at his form, making the connection that he had probably tried to shoulder his way through the door and had almost succeeded. He probably would have done so had she not opened the door when she did. It was a good thing, too, and she almost chuckled.

Lifting her gaze, she found Nick and the others glaring at her. She knew she would be in trouble, but she wouldn't have risked it if she had thought they would remove her from the team for it. Her face was hard, her expression cold, and she revealed nothing to them through what was on her face. Neither her eyes nor her mouth told them anything that they wanted to know. She had intended on gaining some information from Loki and she had done just that. She wanted to tell them what he had told her, but she kept her lips sealed. She was curious, and she also knew that they were smart. They would solve the puzzle on their own. Loki wanted a monument built to the skies with his name plastered on it, and he had it. It just wasn't his name.

She maneuvered into the hallway and faced all of them, opening her mouth to speak, to explain herself. Before she could, Bri approached her rapidly and struck her across the cheek. The pain was immediate and brought tears to the corners of her eyes, but she blinked them away. Her mouth was gaped open with surprise as she held her cheek and rubbed it slightly, attempting to push the pain out of her skin. She knew the skin would be bright red and have a print on it. It was cold too, and stung with the effect of ice. She had basically freezer burned her cheek and it ached like Hell. Within a matter of a minute, though, the icy bite went away and the redness of her skin vanished.

Aimee licked her lip slowly in thought. She deserved that and she knew she did. It was nothing compared to what she would allow the red-headed woman to do if she would give her the chance. Everyone stared with wide eyes at the ginger, but especially because the brunette did not do anything in retaliation. There was a specific fury in Bri's eyes, one that burned hotter than the Hellfire Carmen was made of, and she feared her. There was nothing worse than a mother's wrath in the world, especially when you were the one to kill her first-born child. Her heart ached horridly for the woman and she turned her face to the side in shame, finding the others –including Loki—watching them with something akin to expectance.

"How dare you," She spat, "how dare you…tell him about that day?"

Aimee took a moment to answer carefully. "I had to tell someone. I've kept it bottled up for eight years. It's been killing me."

"Killing you?" Bri scoffed, setting her hands angrily on her hips. "You killed my first-born son, you bitch! How can that be killing you? Have you ever thought of how it affected me?"

A spark flew in her chest, and she got dangerously close to her face, causing her to step back slightly. "Every goddamned day! Every fucking day…I think about what I have done to you. I think about what I did to Lucas. I loved that little boy so much! I know I killed him! I have admitted that!"

"You are a murderer! You don't deserve my forgiveness!"

"Then don't give it to me." She shrugged, but didn't remove herself from where she stood. She could be far more aggressive than Bri. "If you don't feel I deserve it, then don't give it to me. Kill me, instead, because I haven't been able to do it myself."

Shock weaved into the expression upon her face. Her eyelids fluttered in surprise and she attempted to gather the words to speak. It didn't seem she could, because she had not known. That was one thing she had always kept a secret. She had never told anyone she had tried to kill herself, except Loki and, at this point, now everyone knew. They must not have been listening or must have been trying to get through the door when she had explained it to the God of Lies. Her heart felt for that man, so she had not been afraid to tell him, though she tried to tell herself that he was going to fail and probably die at the end of this mess anyways. It was a secret she did not tell lightly and it spoke volumes.

"I got very low." Aimee emphasized the words, tears dripping from the corner of her eyes. "I tried poison, knives, and throwing myself in front of a bus. I've put the opening of a gun to every square inch of my head and pulled the trigger time and time again. Carmen will not allow me to die, but maybe she will make an exception for you." She hastily pulled the gun from her holster and forced it into Bri's hands, molding them around the weapon and resting it against her forehead. She let go, and waited. "Go ahead, because I know you want to. You would be doing me and everyone else a favor."

Loki gazed on helplessly, waiting for the sound of the gun, waiting for the shot to reverberate off the walls of ship. His heart pounded painfully and he yearned to escape his cage, protect her from the bullet that was mere inches from entering her brain. He didn't know if Carmen would stop the blasted piece of metal or not, but he prayed to the All-Father, a man he had grown to despise, that she would, whether it was by some miracle or not. For a long and tense few minutes, nothing at all happened. He waited, not a single muscle in his body relaxing, and he calculated the amount of time left that he had until his cavalry arrived.

Time seemed to slow, and the two girls never broke the gaze. Aimee's eyes were lit with flames and Bri's were flowing with turbulent waters, foaming at the edges as her emotions and mind toiled with many things. She seriously wanted her to do this and she was waiting calmly for her to pull the trigger. Aimee was growing steadily irritated, though, knowing she wasn't going to be able to. She knew Bri, even though they had been separated a long while, and the woman was far too docile to dare kill the one person she had once considered to be her best friend.

With a melancholic smile on her face, she laughed, "Yeah, I figured as much." She turned and walked away at a brisk pace, heading for wherever.

Bri looked at the gun. "She…"

Steve was at a loss for words as well. "I can't believe… Why would she…?"

Tony chuckled bitterly. "I forgave her a long time ago, dear sister, as did Remy. Now, do you see how badly she was ripping herself limb from limb over what she did to this family? You can't seem to look past the fact that your best friend killed your son on accident."

Tears had welled up in her eyes. "I didn't know, okay? Shit…I didn't know she was trying to kill herself. Had I known, I would have reconsidered my feelings a long time ago. I've been angry, but she doesn't deserve to die for what she did."

"Well, she feels that way." Nick told her. "Back to the lab, we have things we need to finish working out. It doesn't look like anything really interesting happened here. I doubt he told her anything."

Loki only smirked from where he stood inside the cage. He had told her something important and looked forward to seeing her there. He wanted to try and convince her of something, though he doubted she would change her loyalties to him. While she would be a useful ally, he had taken into consideration that she was technically a wolf. Wolves were extremely loyal and protective creatures, and those attributes had no doubt gone from Carmen to her. It was probably the thing that made her truly terrifying, because she was willing to literally risk anything for the people and things she loved. It made her very dangerous.

The door was sealed shut once more and everyone disbanded, returning to the lab where they had once been when they had discovered Aimee in the cage with Loki. She had gone into her room, sitting down on the bed and rubbing her head tiredly. It was quiet and peaceful, soothing to her mind. Something didn't seem quite right, though, and she couldn't put her finger on it. Loki had told her to meet him at Stark Tower, but how was he even going to get there? On his own, he was no match for all of them combined, so she did wonder. She pondered over it arduously. It was something that connected to what she thought earlier. Why didn't he try to escape when the others turned their backs on him?

She seemed to be given an answer when the Helicarrier was violently shaken about, and she identified the noise as an explosion. She heard shouts from outside her room, yet she didn't move from where she sat. She felt like she couldn't, like she was frozen in place as a sequence of horrifying pieces fell into their designated place. Her heart pounded painfully in her chest and she got to her feet, bolting from her room and running into a few of the younger agents. She excused herself and took off towards where she guessed the explosion had come from. It was one of the wings, and she quickly scurried down the stairs into the area she knew.

Smoke billowed out in volumes, but it did nothing to her. Breathing in smoke was like breathing in oxygen to her, another effect Carmen seemed to have on her. She made her way through the smoke and stepped through it, almost stepping off the ship. She grabbed a piece of metal and saved herself, then surveyed the damage. There was a large chunk of the ship that had been blown off, the steel and wires ripped from it. She could see the turbine engine from where she stood as well, seeing that it had been damaged and the turbine had stopped moving. There was a sudden panic in her veins; if one more went down, the whole ship would go to the ground.

"Aimee!" The mechanical-sounding voice was familiar to her and she turned to find Tony there in his suit. "Care to help me in clearing out this debris?"

She nodded and he grasped onto the collar of her clothes, lifting her and setting her on the edge of the inside of the turbine. She pointed, "All of this?"

Tony nodded in confirmation. "I have to get some of the inside things sorted out. Just promise you won't fall to your death, all right?"

Aimee rolled her eyes, but agreed anyways. She stepped out onto one of the blades, holding her arms out to keep herself balanced. However, as she glanced out at the massive piece of steel and other materials in front of her, she knew she wouldn't have the mass to knock it out. Sighing, she closed her eyes and connected mentally with Carmen. She was terrified with what she was about to ask her, for it was something that she hadn't done in so long. It was scary to suddenly need that again, and many realizations came to her at that point. She needed the wolf, as much as it pained her to admit such things. She had never wanted to need Carmen, but she did. She wouldn't be able to do this sort of thing –fight for her world and save lives—without her.

Carmen, please…

"You need not ask, child. Take the power; you need it more than I right now."

The fire flowed into her veins at an alarming speed and her bones began to expand, the muscle following and stretching over them to fit. Her shape changed from that of a human to a wolf. She grew to the size of thoroughbred horse and then about twice the size of that. The fur was ebony splashed with tribal markings of ruby red. Her eyes were alive with fire, burning and blazing, but she was clumsy in this form. Her paws felt awkward and large and her head felt too heavy for her to keep lifted, but she did so anyways. She took one easy step after another, and then crouched down. The muscles in her legs and haunches coiled like springs, then released.

Aimee was in control, moving and seeing through the body of Carmen. She leaped and landed upon the massive piece of debris. It groaned strenuously beneath her weight and she bounced on it a few times. It cracked and she repositioned herself carefully, and then bounded down on it with full force once more. It snapped from underneath her and suddenly wasn't there for her feet to hold onto, but she scrambled to hold onto the nearby blade. She pulled herself up and onto the flatter surface of the blade. There was a blast of fire and Tony was near her, hovering a few feet away. Either it was out of caution or just because.

"Impressive. You finally decided to suit up with the rest of us, eh?" He said. "Rogers has my back, now. You should go check out other things to make sure everyone is all right. They might be able to use your…girth."

She let out a rough bark, representing a laugh, "I will go assist someone else, but you need to be careful. Whoever caused this is in for my teeth."

"As I expect. Go, now! I'll take care of getting the propeller started."

She nodded her massive head and bounded with ease from the blade, landing in the hallways. As tall as they were, she nearly touched the ceiling, but was able to move freely as she began to run about in them. Her nose was in the air, drinking in the scents she did and did not know. Those she did not know were tracked down and killed without hesitation. Killing them was the best option, honestly, and she wouldn't let anyone else get hurt. The stench of blood was overwhelming, though, and it made her almost dizzy. She refused to lose herself and clung to the weakening tendrils of sanity.

When someone saw a giant wolf coming down the hallway at them, the reactions were always different. Some screamed and ran, others shot at her, and some just stood there to stare at her with mouths open wide. Most of the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents knew who she was and didn't do anything to distract her or themselves from their mission. In fact, they worked with one another, helping each other in the desperate time of need. It had come so suddenly, and it was one of those things that forced them together. It was incredible what could be accomplished through such things. It was a compelling force tied together by threads of steel.

Her ears twitched at a certain ruckus, and when she glanced to the side she found Thor in a wrestling match with the Hulk. Panic struck her. How had the Hulk been released? Had that been Loki's intention? Most likely, and she could understand why. On his own, the Hulk had the ability to rip the entire ship limb from limb without fatigue. The only problem was the fact that his strength seemed to be infinite and that could be a problem, because even Carmen tired after a long while. Then again, the Hulk wouldn't last forever. The only thing to be done at that point would be to hold him off in a corner until Banner regained control or the Hulk got tired of the games.

Aimee positioned herself with her head held high and her legs firmly on the ground. Her lip curled back over her gums, long and sharp white fangs revealed in their menacing rows. A snarl tore from her throat and it caught the attention of the Hulk, who spun around to look at her. He tossed Thor aside and loosed a roar at her, which only received one from her in return. He came at her with his fists closed, intending to slam her into the ground of the Helicarrier. Lowering her head, she crouched a ways, her muscles bracing for the impact.

The Hulk came down on her with such force that she almost couldn't gather her bearings fast enough. She sprung from the ground and vaulted with him onto the floor above, where there was no one to harm. He clasped his hands tightly around her ribcage and squeezed, gaining a squeal as a few of her ribs began to crack. Snarling, she swatted him aside with a huge paw, and then snapped at his limbs with her fangs. She only had to keep him occupied until he could be thrown off the ship. So, they bantered back and forth in the same room.

Glass shattered and metal bent, creaking and groaning beneath their strenuous girth. It was only the sound of a plane engine that made her stop, then scramble to the side and hide in the tuck of the wall. She watched the Hulk be fired upon by the machine gun of the hover plane that waited just outside in the wishbone. After a few seconds of firing, the Hulk grew tired of it and leaped from the ship, landing on the plane and more than likely taking it down. She prayed the pilot would be able to escape alive. As much as she respected Bruce, death by the Hulk was certainly no way for an innocent man to die.

Exhausted and still in the wolf form, Aimee limped her way from the room and made way into Loki's chambers. Once there, she found the cage gone, a hole in the wall, and Phil on the ground against the wall. A Phase 2 gun was resting in his lap and his body was limp, blood seeping through the light blue shirt that he wore. Nick crouched in front of him, his head hanging in shame. He looked up at her when she entered the room, shrinking in size so that she was only about as tall as Nick, and he resting a comforting hand on her shoulders as she lay beside him. Her gaze was sorrowful, but she could only clench her jaw tightly.

Nick's voice sounded in the ear pieces of each of their ears, "Agent Coulson is down."

"The medical team is on the way."

"They're already here." His tone was somber. "They've called it."

Phil was dead.

Lifting her nose back and cracking open her muzzle, she released a howl filled with a mixture of emotions. Pain and sorrow were only two of them, but as were anger and a need for vengeance. She stood and carried the howl on, raising its volume in hopes of Loki hearing it from wherever he was. He would pay for this and she would make sure of it. When the howl was finished, she cut it off angrily and stalked over to the control panel. She slapped it with one of her paws and the drop for the cage opened wide. The wind whipped through the room, causing people to stop and stare at her.

"Aimee, what are you doing?" Nick cried over the screaming zephyrs.

Her eyes blazed. "I am avenging a friend."

With a roar, she bolted at the opening and jumped into it, sucked out to fall through the open air.