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Denouement

Milla stood outside the room in St. Thomas watching the man in the bed. Her emotions were all over the place. She felt pity, anger, sadness but above all she felt a bitter loathing. This man had been her pillar, her rock, her everything when she was a child. She'd been a daddy's girl through and through. She'd had faith in him when others had written him off and stood by him as others abandoned him and this is how he repaid her loyalty. She glared into the room and noticed that he was starting to move around, his movements limited by the fact that his arm was secured to the rail and he was lying on his stomach. She was angry with herself for the stubborn bit of love that still clung in her heart. She loved the evil old bastard, even as she loathed and pitied him. It would have been so much better to hate him.

"Would you like to go in and see him?" A voice spoke at her side and she jumped, she'd been so deep in her own head that she hadn't noticed the other woman stand next to her. "I can tell you have a lot on your mind."

"I don't know if seeing him is wise Mrs. Murphy. We had a severe falling out today and the pain is still raw." Milla told the woman who had been so helpful to her over the last year.

"I understand, no one hurts you like family." She said before she place a comforting hand on Milla's arm. "If you change your mind there are gowns, caps and masks by the door. We're treating his wound like a severe burn."

"Thank you again Mrs. Murphy." Milla told her and Margaret nodded before she left. She could tell that the young woman needed time to herself, time to think.

Milla stood there, feeling sudden flares of emotion that were almost immediately quelled by the numbness she'd grown accustomed to over the years. She knew it would be best for her to face him, to make the break clean but a smaller, more vicious, part of her brain wanted him to suffer for what he put her through. As it flashed through her mind her choice was made. He was a monster but she wasn't, she was better than him and she'd show him just how much. She moved to the small alcove and immediately put on a sterile gown, followed by the cap and booties and finally put the mask over her mouth. She'd follow the protocol if it meant the final confrontation. When she opened the door she heard a noise from the bed and looked over to see Clay looking blearily over at her. She hoped he wasn't too doped up because she had important things to say and she wouldn't say them again.

"Who- Angel?" He asked and Milla removed her mask and sat by the bed. "Why-"

He started to speak but was unable to and Milla looked him over. She cringed when she saw the damage up close. Hap had been at the height of his game as he flensed the skin from his arm, taken every bit of ink from the elbow down. She could see his muscles twitching beneath the thick layer of antibiotic gauze. His back was so much worse. According to Juice, Hap and Tig had worked in tandem to get every scrap of skin excised from his back and they been more skillful than surgeons. There was no doubt he'd heal cleanly but his body would take longer to heal, especially since her shot had resulted in him losing over half of one of his lungs and damaging a portion of the other. He'd never ride again and he'd be lucky if he could even walk. She looked into his eyes and felt pity and disappointment mar her face, part of her knew just how hurt he was and she felt tears in her eyes as she felt herself let go. She forgave him, he was a broken man with nothing left. It would be cruel to leave him with her hate and if there was one thing Milla was not it was cruel.

"I came here to say goodbye. I'm leaving in a week and I never plan on seeing you again. If, by some unlucky chance, I see you on the street I'll cross it and walk on the other side. If you call me I'll hang up and block your number and if you write me I'll burn it. You are no longer a part of my life and my children will never know you. You'll be as dead to us as you are to the Sons." She said and watched a tear fall from his stormy blue eye. "I'm not doing this because I hate you. Lord help me, but I still care about you and it hurts me to see you reduced to this."

She watched him as he tried to formulate words, the tears pouring down his face in a steady stream. She grabbed a tissue from the table by his bed and wiped a tear away. The tender gesture causing him to break down further so she moved back in her seat and continued to look at him, her innate compassion bringing warmth to her face.

"I forgive you Clay, for the pain you caused me and the damage you've done. I won't bring my baby into this world with hate in my heart and I feel none for you. I truly hope that you heal and find some peace." She got up and kissed his weathered cheek before she left the room. As soon as she stepped out the door she felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders and she took a deep breath. she could move on with her life, she could move past this.

…

Six months later...

"Hey..." Milla whispered sleepily from her hospital bed. Juice smiled as he held his newest child in his arms, loving the fact that he could.

"You need to rest, I've got the baby and Chantal got here about an hour ago she's watching the kids." He told her before he leaned down and kissed her gently. "I'm so proud of you baby."

"We need to figure out a name." She told him as she began to wake up. The truth was that she already had a name that she loved and she wanted him to love it too. "We thought we were prepared for everything, but this was something we weren't expecting."

"Can't say I'm disappointed." He said as he kissed the baby's head. "What name were you thinkin'?"

"Anna Lu, I want to honor Lu's memory." She told him as he nodded.

"You hear that sweetheart, you're Anna Lu, named after one of the greatest ladies ever." He told her as Milla smiled tiredly. She was exhausted and she was starting to come down from the epidurals. She'd almost forgotten how bad her stomach hurt after her c-section with Espy. Now she was getting a rather vivid reminder.

"You talk to Bruce?" Milla asked and Juice frowned but nodded.

"Yeah, he needs me for the run. I'm sorry baby." He told her and she shook her head.

"Don't be, the Club needs you and Bruce would be lost without you. Just...stay as long as you can, please?" She requested and he leaned down to kiss her again.

"No problem babe." He told her then watched as her eyes drifted closed again. While she slept he looked into the face of his youngest child and felt his eyes mist up. She was so beautiful. She was pale like Milla and had her nose and ears. He chuckled when he remembered the conversation they'd had years ago about how she didn't want their kids to have his ears. It looked like she got her wish, both kids had their mama's perfect shell ears. He kissed his daughter's head and felt a tear fall. He'd done some terrible things in his life but bringing his two perfect angels into the world wasn't one of them.

…

Milla woke up with a start. Her dream had been a very bad one and when she saw the darkness of the room she freaked out. As she tried to sit up she heard footsteps and got even more scared.

"Hey, calm down baby, you're not alone." Her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she felt relief flood her. Her mom was there and it looked like she had Anna in her arms.

"Mom..." Milla said quietly and Gemma sat gently on the bed and reached a hand over to push some sweat dampened hair off of Milla's face.

"You didn't think I'd miss this, did you?" She asked and Milla shook her head. "Juice had to go on the run, he said not to wake you up."

"You listened?" Milla asked and Gemma chuckled before she leaned over to kiss Milla's head.

"Maybe I'm mellowing in my old age." She said and Milla smiled before she reached over to the button that turned on the lights above the bed.

"You're not old. It's the farm that's changed you. How's the new family?" Milla asked and Gemma smiled.

"It's good to be needed, loved... I thought I'd die without the Club but, shit. I'm sounding like a pussy." Gemma laughed as Milla smiled at her and reached out a hand.

"No, you sound happy. Is Nero with you?" She asked her mother and Gemma nodded.

"Yeah, he's looking forward to seeing the baby." She said before she looked down at her youngest grandchild. "Anna Lu, huh? It's a good name, a strong one. The next one better have Gemma in their somewhere, even if it's a boy."

"I don't think Juice would be too happy about that." Milla laughed lightly before she moved her bed into position. "How long are you staying in Thief River?"

"A few days. I wanna spend as much time with you and all of my grandbabies as I can. Nero has to go back to Diosa Norte tomorrow but he'll be back to visit. Jax will stop by in a few days, with Tara and the boys." She explained and Milla smiled.

"Good, I've missed them." Milla's smile faltered when she tried to think of a good way to phrase her next question. "Have you...do you know how he is?"

Gemma sighed then looked at her babygirl. She'd cut him out of her life and her children's lives completely but he still had a hold on her and Gemma hurt for her.

"He's living in an assisted living facility in Lodi. One of those state run joints. Lost full use of his one lung but he's still holding on. The old bastard won't go down for the count. Phil goes to visit him every week. I think it's Jax's way to keep reminding him of what he lost." She explained and Milla swallowed thickly. She hated herself for caring but she couldn't turn it off. She was saved from speaking by Anna's angry, hungry cry.

"Feeding time, can you help me situate her Ma?" Milla asked and Gemma nodded as she handed her granddaughter over.

While Milla fed her daughter she studied her mother. Six months had changed her mother, it was subtle but it was there. She was still manipulative, tough and kept almost everyone at a distance but there was something softer about her. She was learning to let people in, trust more and Nero was responsible. Nero had saved her mother from herself and Milla was grateful because this Gemma was worth loving.

"Thank you for being here Ma." Milla said as Gemma smiled at her then smiled down at her grandbaby.

"Nowhere else I'd be darlin'."

…

One year later...

Milla walked into the shop and grinned. The place was a technological haven. There were diagnostic setups around the room and the desk that Juice used for quick jobs was clean and free of clutter. It was the perfect place for her man and she couldn't have been prouder of him for pulling it off.

When Juice had told her that he wanted his own computer repair business she'd been skeptical. Businesses were hard to get off the ground and Juice didn't have the business training. He had the raw talent and ability but he didn't have the professional IT training to make a name for himself. She always supported him but this idea had seemed like it would end in failure and disappointment but he'd proven her wrong. Ortiz Digital Services and Computer Repair was beyond successful. An aggressive word of mouth campaign and viral marketing scheme concocted by Juice were responsible for the success along with Juice's success rate. In the three months that the business had been open the list of services provided had grown and Juice had even hired help to assist him when he had Club business so he wouldn't lose the revenue. It was wonderful and helped Jax get closer to his dream of a legit Club. With ODS and Diosa Norte the Club was pulling in a steady stream of legit business and Milla was so proud of her husband for making it happen for Thief River. As she walked toward the back the door opened and Juice walked out, grinning when he saw her carrying Anna Lu.

"Hey you." He walked up and kissed Milla before he kissed his daughter's head. "What's up babe?"

"I was taking Anna to her one year checkup and wanted to stop by. We missed you." She smiled at her husband who chuckled.

"I think you were just bored. Come on, I'll send Charlie out then we can have lunch. I ordered Chinese from across the street." He put an arm around her before they walked to the back as she grinned. She never thought their life together would be so "normal" especially after everything that happened but karma had rewarded her and they were living happily and peacefully for the first time in a long time. It was far different from the pain and chaos that filled their lives for those awful years. She could almost fool herself into believing it would always be like this. She wished it could always be like this.

…

Five years later...

The priest's voice sounded like cicadas buzzing in her ears. She knew he was saying beautiful things, things about heaven and eternity, things that should have given her comfort. Instead she felt like the space where her heart should be was a black hole, sucking out all love and joy and replacing it with a bitter cold. She never wanted to be in this position, she'd hoped to go first but it didn't happen that way. No, she'd lost him and she'd have to live the rest of her life without the other half of her soul.

"Mrs. Ortiz, would like to say a few words. Please come up now." Her head snapped up as she looked at the priest and she swallowed before she moved Espy off her lap and stood. Once Espy was sitting in her vacant seat she walked up and looked down at the casket made of dark wood emblazoned with the reaper.

"Juan Carlos Ortiz, or as we all knew him, Juice was the greatest man I've ever known. He was strong, smart, funny and determined. In fact he was far smarter than anyone gave him credit for but was too modest to show that intelligence off. He was the love of my life and I was his, we formed the backbone to a strong family that grew stronger in the love he shared. As a father he gave our children love, acceptance and protection. Our family didn't have anything to fear with him at the helm. As a husband he was my lover, my friend and my confidante. He made my life complete and was truly my other half. I have no idea how I'll go on without him but I know I can because he'll be with me. When I look into the eyes of our children, see their smiles and hear their laughs I'll know he's there with us giving us his strength and love." She finished as a tear fell from her eyes and she knelt down as she kissed her fingertips and pressed her fingertips to the earth. "I'll always love you Juice...always..."

After that she stood and walked back to her seat. She cuddled Espy close to her heart and the words spoken became white noise once more. She'd shared her feelings and she hoped they'd all taken something from it. Juice may have done some horrible things in the past but his final act on the earth had wiped that slate clean.

…

"It's gettin' cold love, why don' ya come in?" Chibs asked as they stood on the porch of what was formerly her house but was now Chantal and Phil's home where they had gathered for a dinner to celebrate Juice's life.

"I will, I just need a moment to myself." She told him and he sighed as he walked to her and joined her in leaning against the railing. While they stood there Chibs looked her over. She was better than she'd been during the funeral but he could tell she was heartbroken. The pain he felt radiating from her broke his own heart and filled him with guilt. Guilt that he'd survived and his Brother didn't.

"I'm sorry Milla." He said softly and she looked at him, her face sad but loving.

"Don't be, because of you his death meant something. He gave his life so you could live. I know it's how he would have wanted it." She told him and he nodded.

"What're ya gonna do now?" He asked and she sighed.

"Live, I have a family to raise a business to run and a mortgage to pay. Juice always said I was the strongest woman he knew and I'll be damned if I make him a liar." She spoke with passion and Chibs placed his hand on hers.

"He was right, yer strong an' I know yer family's in good hands." Chibs told her before he stood and moved toward the door but before he could move further Milla stopped him.

"Wait, I need you to tell me what he said before he died." She pleaded with him and Chibs turned around and gave her a pained look, this was a subject he was hoping would be brought up at a later time, but he wasn't going to ignore her request.

"He asked me ta keep ya safe an' I agreed." He told her and Milla nodded.

"Thank you for that. Thank you for everything." She thanked him sincerely before he turned and walked back into the house leaving her in solitude.

It was there she stood until she heard Esperanza's voice and it was what she needed to take her from herself. With a mental shake and a deep breath she forced herself to go on and face the people she loved. As soon as she was through the door Espy attached herself to Milla's waist while Anna Lu fought in her grandmother's grasp. With tears in her eyes that had more to do with love than sadness Milla took a seat among the group and held her daughter's in her lap. They would be her rock from now on and she'd be theirs. No matter what the future would hold or what hardships they'd face she knew they'd get through it together.

…

Author's Note: There it is, the end of Tough Choices. I hope you enjoyed it and I'm so happy to have it done. Within the next couple of weeks look for a new story that will be completely AU. It will take place after the guys are released from prison and follow my own storylines. It's my hope to bring something fresh and new to the fandom. Thank you all for reading and reviewing, it means so much to me. Much love to you all :)