A/N: Sorry for the delay this is first time I've sat down and done nothing since Friday. Seems most of you are pretty upset with Spencer and question why she didn't tell anybody... she you will a little bit of that in this chapter...
Enjoy.
So here I am currently sitting in my bedroom wearing my pajamas watching Sleepless in Seattle. I have a box of tissues next to me; this movie always makes me choke up. Damn you Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. I should have just watched You've Got Mail, it's less sappy but at least I still get my Tom and Meg fix.
I glance at the alarm clock that sits on my bedside table and it reads 7 o'clock in the evening. I wonder if Spencer and girl wonder have made it to the loft yet. Curiosity gets the best of me, I pause the movie, I get up, open my door and peak my head out just to survey the loft. "They're not here yet." I look over and see Kyla busying herself in the kitchen, taking out plates and glasses for dinner.
"I wasn't looking." I say nonchalantly.
Kyla giggles to herself, "whatever you say." She singsongs, clearly satisfied with her statement. I roll my eyes. Ugh! Why does she always have to be right all of a sudden? I make my way towards the kitchen and grab a bottle of water from the fridge.
"Hey, I'm home." I turn towards the front door and see Spencer pulling her keys out of the keyhole. Glen jumps up from the couch he's occupying and hugs his sister. I'm sure he's missed her just as much as I have. I can't exactly hear all the pleasantries being said but I can tell that Spencer is introducing Glen to Heather. I see him glance in my direction after the introductions are made. It's then Spencer and I lock eyes and they walk towards Kyla and I in the kitchen. I hadn't planned on being around when they got here.
"Kyla!" Spencer hurriedly walks towards Kyla and engulfs her in a hug. I zone out all of the 'I've missed yous' How have you've beens' I start to walk back to my room hoping to go unnoticed in all the introductions of Heather, the fiancée. "You're not joining us for dinner Ash?" Spencer speaks up loud enough to stop me from entering my bedroom. I release a breath of air.
I turn around and look at the four other people in the room, whose eyes all occupy me. Glen and Kyla with their pleading looks. Heather, with a look I'm not so sure I can make out just yet, and Spencer, her baby blue eyes are asking me to stay and if it was any other day, any other time, she wouldn't have to use those blue hues to keep me there.
"I just came out to grab a bottle of water. " I hear Kyla faintly snort. If she wasn't my sister I'd probably ring her neck. I give her a death stare before turning my head and going into my room. Yes I would like to make everybody aware the bitch Ashley Davies from high school has returned. I blame it on me not knowing how to control my emotions.
Once I get into my room I settle back into bed and press the play button on my remote. I have a few tissues scattered around the bed from a previous scene that made me tear up. Damn you sappy love movie. Why am I doing this to myself?
"Hey Ash, can I come in?" I turn and I see Spencer poke her head through the door. I sigh. I knew she'd follow me in here. I just didn't think it would be this soon.
I nod my head. She comes in and climbs into bed next to me. "Sleepless in Seattle, I love this movie." I know she does, we've must have watched it hundreds of times together. "How come you aren't going to come have dinner with the rest of us?' She says not taking her eyes off the television.
"I didn't know until just recently you were having dinner here." I do the same and not take my eyes off the television but I can feel her eyes on me this time. She reaches for the remote that is resting in my lap and pauses the movie. Cue goose bumps.
"Hey." I protest. I was watching that. Well I hadn't paid attention to a single word since Spencer walked into the room but that is beside the point.
"Ash, you live here. You knew we were coming for dinner." My hands busy themselves in my lap. I have never been this nervous to have a simple conversation with Spencer.
"Yeah, but I didn't hear it from you." I finally look at her and I see the hurt I am causing her. The hurt we are causing each other and it shouldn't be like that.
"Ash…"
"No Spencer, maybe I'm being a bitch right now but I'm upset and I'm hurt. You really hurt me today Spencer. I thought we were closer than that. I thought I meant more to you than that."
"We are Ash. You mean so much to me and I handled the situation all wrong. I know that and it hurts to know that I hurt you so much because of it. Because the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you." Her honesty pains my heart. I know she isn't trying to purposely hurt me.
"I feel like I don't even know who you are right now Spence. These past four weeks, I was crazy missing you, I couldn't wait until you came home so we could be us again. I missed you every single day you were gone. I maybe even slept in your bed some nights to feel closer to you but right now I feel like everything has changed." Word vomit, why did I just admit I slept in her bed? Remind me to bang my head into a wall a couple of times.
"Nothing has changed Ashley, we are still us."
"Really? Because the Spencer I know would have at least clued me in that she was dating somebody, the Spencer that left here a month ago would have called me as soon as she found out she was getting married."
"Ash, what's really bothering you?" Here's my chance to just come out and say it. Say those five simple little words, but they are anything but simple, those words hold so much meaning and truth behind them.
I'm in love with you.
But it isn't easy to say those words when you know deep down it won't change anything. She's getting married and she's in love with somebody else. "Nothing, I'm sorry Spence." I breathe out.
"Are we okay?" Spencer mindlessly picks at the lint on my comforter. She looks like a small child asking a question and is scared to know the answer.
"Yeah, we're okay Spence." I turn to face her and wrap my arms around her in a tight hug. I couldn't bear the thought of her being upset because of me. I take a moment to inhale the scent of her hair, it smells like coconut. I contently sigh. I'm almost scared to let go.
"Good." She smiles that big Spencer smile at me. You know, the one that melts my heart and has me drowning in a pool of baby blues. "Because I wanted to ask you something," she pauses and looks timid again. "I wanted to know if you would be my maid of honor?"
And I thought things couldn't get any worse. I can't do it. I just can't. It will be too hard. "Spence…I…"
"Please Ashley? " She begs with a head tilt and a full blown pout. How am I supposed to turn down a face like that? It almost reminds me of the commercial where they are asking for donations for homeless pets and Sarah McLachlan's Angel is playing in the background.
"Sure." I barely get out before she starts bouncing on the bed and clapping her hands excitedly. "Good. Because I don't know how I'm going to plan a wedding all by myself in a month." "I spit out the water I was just drinking from my water bottle. Did I hear her right? I couldn't have.
"A month?" I repeat. "You're getting married in a month?"
"I know it's soon. Heather wanted to elope and get married next weekend but I talked her into waiting a bit longer. I need you to be there Ash. I can't do this without you."
"Spencer, what is the rush? How long have you known this person? Do you even know her?" I can't help how condescending I must sound. But a month is too soon for Spencer to be getting married to this person I hardly know. This person that isn't right for her, this person that isn't me.
"Heather, her name is Heather. It doesn't matter Ash. I know this seems sudden. It does for me too, but it's time for me to grow up and I found somebody who wants to do that with me." She looks away from me when she says this last part.
"If this is what you really want then I guess I have no choice but to be your maid of honor." I place my hand over hers and she looks ups and locks eyes with me. We stare intensely at each other with no words being said. In this moment I try to fully express how I feel about her with my eyes. I don't know if she can see it but if she looks hard enough she can see that every ounce of love I have in my heart is for her.
KNOCK KNOCK
We are pulled from our intense stare by a knock at my door and Heather opens the door and pops her head in. She looks down at my hand that is placed on Spencer's that is sitting on her thigh. I gently pull my hand away and clear my throat. Heather gives us an unsure stare. "Kyla sent me in here to let you know dinner just arrived, cupcake." She says as every so sweetly.
"Oh, right. Thanks Heather." Spencer gets up from the bed and makes her way to the door. She stops and turns around before walking out, "you sure, you don't want to join us Ash?' She gives me that pout again, the pout I'm finding hard to resist. But I can't. I need to fight these feelings I have for her because nothing will ever come of them. I need to go back to when I just saw Spencer as my best friend.
"Not tonight Spence." Spencer just nods her head at my words and walks out of the room closing the door softly behind her.
I will not sit in my room and sulk the rest of the night. I need to get out of this room, out of this loft and have some fun.
I pick up my phone and scroll through a list of names. Too boring, gets on my nerves, ah perfect. I press send. I wait patiently as the person on the other end picks up the phone. "Hey girl."
"Hey Maddie, you wanna go out tonight?" Madison Duarte is another friend of ours that we all went to high school with. It's nice we were all able to stay in touch and stay friends after high school. Most times life doesn't work out that way.
"You know you don't have to ask twice." Since Spencer had been in London, Maddie and I started hanging out more on a regular basis, she said I was just using her until Spencer got back, looks like I'll be proving her wrong tonight.
"Let's say we meet at 9 at Rush?" I get up and start flipping through the clothes in my closet. I have no idea what I am going to wear and I only have 45 minutes before I have to leave.
"See you there." I hang up the phone and quickly jump into the shower.
I look in the mirror and I'm satisfied with my outfit. I decided on black skinny jeans with a royal blue tube top and I accessorized with some sterling silver bracelets.
I open the door of my bedroom and as soon as I do all eyes are on me. "Going out?" Kyla asks as she, Glen, Spencer and Heather sit around the table sipping on what I assume to be is coffee.
"Yeah, I'm going to meet Maddie." I say before throwing my phone in my purse and shutting the door to my room.
"You guys have been hanging out a lot lately." Well, that's what happens when your best friend is in London for four weeks. You find new people to go out with.
Spencer looks at me with a confused, yet questioning look. She knows I can only handle Madison in small doses and never have I called her Maddie in front of Spencer. She's always just been Madison.
"Uh… yeah," I shift around nervously from foot to foot. "We'll I'll see you guys later. Have a good evening." I quickly say before I'm rushing out of the loft. Once I close the door behind me, I lean up against it and take a deep breath. I pull away and start to make my way towards the elevator.
"Hey Ash wait up." I turn around and I see Spencer making her way towards me. I press the down button of the elevator while I'm waiting for her to catch up to me. "I was wondering if maybe you wanted to do hang out tomorrow?" She fidgets with her hands while awaiting my answer. "I meant if you don't have any other plans."
A smile grows on my face, "of course Spence."
"Really?" She asks again.
"Duh, you doofus." The elevator dings letting us know that it is about to reach our floor. "Well I'll see you tomorrow Spence." I say before the elevator pops open and I walk in.
"Later Ash." She waves before the elevators door close on her. I'm excited that I finally get to spend some quality time with her. It's been too long since it's been just us. As I ride the elevator down to the parking garage my smile grows wider with the thought of Spencer following me out into the hallway to ask if I wanted to hang out tomorrow. And I can't hold back the small chuckle that leaves my mouth as I shake my head. It's the little things that you start to notice when you fall in love with somebody.