Chapter Two
"Here we are. Five cheese pizzas, seven apple cinnamons, nine chocolate, and fifteen garlic bagels, all hot and fresh. Hope you're all hungry."
The waitress poured the food onto the table and made a swift exit before any of them could ask for coffee refills. The café was small and warm, and the golden sun was pouring into the window booth that all six of them had managed to squeeze themselves into. Steve and Tony had caught up to the rest of them on the street as they searched for edible food. They had managed to squeeze onto the curved, crowded seat next to each other, everyone's legs bumping and tangling inextricably under the table like iPod earphones in a schoolbag. Tony slouched in the seat, elbows against the table and one hand rubbing the back of his neck. He must have a crick in it or something from sleeping funny, Steve thought to himself. He pretended not to notice its particular curve as he ran his fingers up and down, and MOST CERTAINLY did not feel any desire to do so himself. That would be absurd. He straightened his back, hyperaware of Tony's wiry frame next to him, and watched as Thor produced a jar of Nutella from seemingly nowhere and proceeded to smother it on a pizza flavored bagel. Bruce followed the track of his eyes and his expression changed to one of fascinated disbelief.
"Thor, what in the world are you doing?"
" I'm breaking my fast upon a hearty midgardian bagel and succulent spread of chocolate." Thor replied matter-of-factly, and for the second time that morning, Thor put something in his mouth that most surely shouldn't have been there.
"Ooooooooohhh and he ate that."
"That's gross. That's just so, so wrong."
"That's not right, Thor."
"Why ever not, my comrade?" He clapped his hand down upon Bruce's shoulder, his elbow smacking Natasha in the ribs and almost knocking her off the chair.
"Try it! Go on, it tastes delicious!" He shoved his enormous bagel-filled fist into Bruce's face, who politely tried not to recoil.
"Go on, Bruce. I think it looks DEEEEE-LICIOUS." Clint said with a gloating smile. Bruce shot him a tired look.
"I hate you so much right now," he said, and took a miniscule bite. He rolled it around in his mouth and looked up at the ceiling in concentration.
"You know…. That doesn't actually taste that hideous." He said finally. Clint gave him a dubious look. Natasha studiously avoided everyone's eyes and slid her third bagel from Clint's plate onto her own. Steve kept shifting his attention between the two of his housemates. This sort of standoff, with both men trying to gauge the other's credibility, was what made their group dynamic so interesting. Tony continued to slouch sullenly next to him.
"Fine." Clint said.
"Hand over the nutella, Thor."
Thor obliged with a smile and rumble of approval, and Clint slapped gratuitous amounts of the spread onto another pizza bagel. He eyed it off for a while, then shrugged and bit off an inordinately large chunk of it.
"Heh. You're right, Bruce. Not bad at all." He gave a quick nod and a smile to the other man.
"Anyone else want a try?" He asked, waving the bagel around in their limited airspace.
"Give it over here," Steve said with a smile. Steve felt Tony stiffen slightly next to him. He hadn't touched any of the bagels set in front of him, Steve had noticed out of the corner of his eye. Clint stretched his arm across the table and Steve took the bagel with slight apprehension.
"I hope this isn't some sort of elaborate plot to poison me," He said with an eyebrow raised and took a nice large bite out of it as Natasha snuck yet another bagel from Thor's plate. Surprisingly, or perhaps unsurprisingly, the bagel was weirdly good. Something in the sweet and the saltiness seemed to balance out and complement each other.
"That really isn't that bad. Maybe we should listen to Thor's suggestions more often."
"Oh, no way, mister. Don't get the wrong ideas, Thor, we all love you to bits, but there is no way I am going to watch you sprinkle cap'n crunch over a poptart, ALSO smothered in vegemite and cheesespray, and let you call it our dinner. That's… That's a one way ticket to I-don't-want-to-know-where, my friend."
Steve heard a quiet throat clearing next to him.
"You know, I have a feeling that you guys might have over ordered a little bit." Tony said grumpily, watching as his housemates barely conjured up looks of shame, all the while shoveling yet more bagels into their mouths.
"None of you will be able to eat the SUPER THOUGHTFUL breakfast I made if you keep eating like that." At this, Clint started choking on an enormous mouthful of bagel. Natasha thumped him on the back, and Steve could have sworn he heard ribs cracking.
"Are- you- kidding me, Tony?" Clint managed between gasps of air.
"Natasha and I have been trained to be immune to most poisons, but that shit could have killed an elephant."
"A herd of elephants." Bruce added.
"Hell," Clint said, taking another bite of his bagel. "You could probably eradicate the entire eastern seaboard with that… FOOD if you decided to weaponize it."
"Don't give him ideas, Clint." This was the first time Natasha had spoken up at the cafe.
"Why not? Heck, it wouldn't surprise me if we saw that lump of inedible demon-food attacking people by the end of this month."
"CLINT."
"What?"
And that is when they heard the screaming. They sat perfectly still for a second, then in a unanimous and rather chaotic scuffle all six of the tough, trained, and highly professional superheroes fought to press their noses against the glass window. Eyes widened to a point of pain.
" I hate being right all the time."
Just two blocks away and sluggishly advancing up the street, grossly expanded to the size of a blue whale and yet instantly recognizable for its blackened talon-like appendage, was Tony's breakfast. A waitress dropped a tray of drinks and shrieked like a lady half her age, pointing outside, and the café turned into a screaming din of evacuation and fleeing. All except the avengers, who remained and watched the food monster slide over the top of a car, swallowing it and its occupants completely. It stopped moving for a moment, and seemed to shiver from its bottom to its top, then roared as it spewed the car from its top like a grotesque volcano. Glass rained down upon the street as the four-seater went through a fifth story window on an office building. It turned the majority of its reeking mass towards them and Tony could feel this…THINGS attention crack onto him like a whip. It sent a shiver down his spine.
"Guys… I didn't do this… It wasn't me…" He said meekly, looking towards Steve with wide, imploring eyes. Steve was already in his Captain America mindset, though, closed off and calculating.
"Car!" Natasha shouted above the din of civilians and monsters alike, and Tony felt arms around him seconds before he hit the floor. Glass rained down around him as the car twisted and destroyed one of their favorite establishments. The air was filled with the smell of burnt bagels and brick dust. Clouds of debris made it almost impossible to see beyond a few feet out of the hole in the wall. Tony opened his eyes to have a pair of shockingly blue ones swim in and out of focus. He laughed slightly to see Steve's shirt half undone, the star-spangled uniform underneath partially revealed. He wondered whether Steve ever actually took them off, or if they were permanently integrated with his skin. It wasn't entirely implausible. If SHIELD had figured out how to integrate several particular polymer fibers with his DNA material, they could have easily-
"Is everyone alright?" Steve called.
They were under the remains of their table.
"A-okay, Cap."
"I am uninjured, Captain."
"Small scrape to Natasha's brow-"
"I'm fine, Bruce."
"Yes. Of course. We're fine over here."
"You alright, Tony?" Steve asked. Tony smiled up at him. He felt slightly giddy. Perhaps it was caused by the pain in the back of his skull.
"Happy as a clam, Cap, but I think I'm going to have to ask for a kiss. It's basic protocol for people who get me pinned to the ground like this." Tony loved stirring Steve's 1940's values up, most of all during a battle, but- was that a blush he saw? Cap didn't blush- hell, Tony had always thought that the super serum had gotten rid of that aspect of human functionality, like the forever-sober thing.
"Have you got your suit with you?" Steve asked him, shaking Tony away from any further speculation. He sniggered.
"Do I LOOK like I have my suit with me? Cap, I thought we were just coming out to get bagels and go home, honestly, you people are ridiculous-" He tried to push himself up into a sitting position, but Steve pinned him down by the shoulder. With a single hand.
Damn super serum.
Granted, that hand was warm and seemed to fit nicely on his shoulder….
"Stay here, Tony." Steve said firmly, sitting up. Tony wondered how Steve managed to keep him pinned down with only his legs around his waist and one hand on his shoulder. He ignored the notion that perhaps he enjoyed being pinned down by Steve, feeling his legs wrapped around him….
NO.
STOP.
NOT STEVE.
NOT CAPTAIN AMERICA.
"What's the plan, Cap?" Tony heard Clint's voice coming from where the window had been moments before. If Tony had been bothered to crane his neck he would have seen Clint perched in the shattered window frame, quiver and bow in hand.
"We'll need to set up a perimeter. I need your eyes in the sky, Clint. Make sure that Tony's breakfast is the only thing on the streets. I'm sure there are plenty of opportunistic wannabe's out there who will want to take credit for this, but we should make sure that there aren't any bigger fish out there as well. Natasha, we're gonna need SHIELD to clear the streets for us, if you could liaise for us and then help Clint that would be excellent. We don't know how this thing works yet, so Bruce, we'll need you to observe it and give us everything you can get before letting out the other guy. We need to keep him as a last resort. Thor; air support. Annoy this thing for us, find out what makes it tick. Rustle its jimmies. I'll do the same from ground level. Go!" There was the sound of crunching glass and Mjolnir whistling in the air, then only the distant screams. Tony looked up at Steve as he pulled his mask on.
"Steve, I-"
"Save it for later, Tony."
"But Steve-"
"It's dangerous for you out there without your suit. I won't hear any arguments."
"God, Steve, I'm trying to-"
"Stay, Tony." Steve stood up, removing the last shred of his civvies, and disappeared into the fray before Tony could even sit up.
***A.N. - Well hi again guys! So, obviously, I've decided to continue this story for a while longer. I'm thinking anywhere between 6 and 12 chapters at this point.
There was a bit more Stony in there, and a bit of natasha/bruce, did you spot it? ;) it is there, you know...
So, please review guys, even if it's just to tell me where my grammatical and spelling mistakes are. My darling beta only got halfway through before I went on a writing rampage and posted without her checking.
The point is, feedback is my super serum folks. More reviews, more stony feels. XD
And thankyou all for reading! Means so much to me! Next chapter soon!***