I wake up and realize I'm still wearing last night's clothes and I'm lying on top of my comforter covered with a throw blanket. I sit up and my head is throbbing, I need Tylenol now. I get up and quickly grab a pair of clean clothes from my drawers, blue flannel pajama pants and a grey hoodie. I grab my sunglasses off my night stand and throw them on to help with all the bright lights. I groan.

I open my door and make my way out of my room. "It's alive!" I turn and give Glen a death stare and he throws his hands up in defense, continuing to read the paper while Kyla throws more pancakes on his plate. Ugh, doesn't he have his own place?

"Morning Ash, there's a fresh pot." Kyla motions towards the pot of coffee on the counter. Oh thank god.

I answer her with a grunt, too hung over to function fully at the moment. "Aww, aren't you adorable this morning?" I cease my movements at Spencer's voice. I turn around from grabbing a mug out of the cabinet and I'm met with soft blue eyes.

She's wearing boxers, a cami top and I'm seriously glad I'm wearing my sunglasses right now because my eyes are wandering to all the right places or wrong places for that matter. I answer her with a grunt as well. "Here, let me. Go sit on the couch and I'll bring it over to you." I nod as she pushes me out of the kitchen.

I follow her orders and go take a seat on the couch waiting for Spencer to bring me coffee. Moments later she joins me with two mugs in her hands and hands me one. "Thanks." I mumble out almost inaudibly.

We sip our coffee in silence just enjoying being in each other company. "Where's Heather?" I finally decide to speak.

"Oh, well she had some work she needed to do. She left a little while ago." Spencer says setting down her mug of coffee on the coffee table. "Come here." She pats her lap and I set my mug next to hers before laying my head in her lap. My headache starts to cease when she begins to massage my scalp and its then I remember that I almost told her I loved her last night. I almost admitted to her before she left my room.

"How's that feel?" Spencer brushes the hair out of my face and looks down at me and pulls the sunglasses off my face. "There you are. I don't like it when I can't see your eyes." I just stare up at her. "They are the windows to your soul. When I look in them I see you, this beautiful person. I see all the love and devotion you hold for the people you love the most, I can see it all. And it's amazing." I give her a small smile as unshed tears begin to burn my eyes. "Promise me something Ash?'

I look at her waiting for her to continue, not trusting my voice. "Promise me that we won't change. That'll we will always stay the same." I can see something in her eyes change. I know what she wants me to say but I don't think I can say what she wants to hear. She's still massaging my scalp with one hand while the other hand reaches down and interlaces our fingers together.

I sigh.

"Change is inevitable." I shift up into a seated position and I instantly miss her fingers in my hair.

"I know." A single tear falls down her face. "I just don't want to lose you."

I wrap my arms around her and pull her into me, "Hey, hey, nobody said anything about losing me. I'm here. I'm always going to be here. You couldn't get rid of me if you wanted, okay?" I hear her sniff and I bring her chin up so her eyes meet mine. "Okay?" I ask again waiting for confirmation.

"Okay." She whispers out. I pull her closer into me as we hold each other in our tight embrace.

Two week has passed since Spencer shared her fear of losing me on the couch and we've seen even less of each other. I'm starting to think Heather is the root of the problem, every time Spencer and I have made plans, Spencer unexpectedly has to cancel or Heather ends up tagging along.

Today we have plans, unfortunately its plans for the wedding and since I'm the maid of honor I got dragged to a cake sampling. Okay so maybe when Spencer called and told me Heather had something come up and couldn't go with her, I jumped at the chance to spend some alone time with her. Can you really blame me?

"Oh, wow." There are so many choices I don't know where to start. Spencer eyes all the bite size cakes before us. Okay maybe cake sampling isn't so bad after all.

I grab a small piece and pop it in my mouth. I instantly go and spit it out. Spencer laughs "I'm guessing that was coconut." Spencer still surprises me with all the little details she remembers about me.

"Yuck." Who the hell would want a coconut wedding cake? "I hate coconut."

"Here." Spencer laughs and hands me a glass of milk, her fingers gaze mine as she hands me the glass and my stomach starts to do flips with the small contact. I quickly take a drink of the milk and try to push down any feelings that want to come to the surface.

I watch as Spencer picks up a small piece and take a small bite out of it. I see her eyes roll back in sheer delight at the taste of the cake in her mouth. I'm fully aware how my body reacts to the scene before me. "That good?" She turns to face me slightly embarrassed that I caught her reaction and she should, I'm barely able to contain myself.

I laugh. "You got a little something." I gesture towards her mouth; she goes to wipe her face but misses completely. "Here let me," I wipe off the icing with my thumb and Spencer catches my eyes. The air instantly becomes thick and then it feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room, making it hard to breath. I let my thumb run down to her chin and I delicately run my fingers along her cheek bone.

"Spencer…."

"Ash…"

I subconsciously lick my lips, bringing my hand to her neck as I begin to bring her face closer to mine and it's then that the smell of cake makes its way through my senses. I'm reminded where we are at and why we are here.

I pull my hands away off her and shake my head. "I'm sorry." I say quickly getting up and walking out of the bakery as fast as humanly possible.

I'm walking down an empty sidewalk toward my car and tears start to roll down my eyes. "Ashley!" I hear her calling my name and I don't stop but I slow down just enough for her to catch up with me. "Ash."

It starts to sprinkle.

She grabs my wrists and turns me around to face her and her eyes show confusion. "Ashley, please," she pleads with me. "What just happened?"

I don't answer her right away as she stands in front of me waiting for an answer, arms wrapped around herself, she looks so lost, so scared and I am the one who caused this. "Where have you been lately Spence?"

The rain begins to pick up.

She looks taken back by my question. "I've barely seen in you at all in the past two weeks and when we make plans you cancel or conveniently remember you had something else planned."

"We had lunch the other day." She looks away avoiding my questioning eyes, her hair starting to get drenched as the rain cascades around us.

"Yeah, you, me and Heather." I laugh bitterly. "You know what I mean Spence."

She looks down at her feet and I watch her intently as she internally struggles with something. "You were the one who asked me to promise you that nothing would change between us. Do you remember?" I say sternly and she finally looks up at me with a mix of rain and tears coming down her face. I inwardly curse myself for making the woman in front of me cry but I need answers. I can't keep going on like this.

Because the thought of losing her is slowly killing me too.

"You don't understand Ash."

"What don't I understand? Help me Spencer." I have to keep myself from shouting to ensure she hears me over the heavy rain falling down around us.

"She doesn't understand Ash." Her eyes hold so much emotion.

"And I'm not understanding at all right now either."

"Heather, she doesn't understand our friendship. She thinks we're too close."

"So you back away from me? Great, nice to know where I stand Spencer." I wrap my arms around myself and turn around and slowly start to walk away not caring that I'm getting drenched.

"Ash," she cries out, voice full of hoarseness from her tears. "I don't want to lose you. Please don't walk away." She follows behind me sobbing softly. "I can't lose you."

I turn around and see the broken woman in front of me and my anger softens. "What do you want Spencer? What do you want? What does this want?" I step closer to her and put my hand over her heart.

"Tell me what this wants." I whisper out. And just like the air shifts that all the anger I was feeling a few moments ago disappears and I'm now dealing with entirely different emotions.

And then something in me clicks, "look into my eyes, Spencer. They are windows to my soul and right now they are expressing what I am feeling, what my heart desires, whom I love the most…" I cup her cheek with my right hand and tuck wet, blonde strands out of her face with my left hand.

"Spencer, you have until the count of three to move before I kiss you." I whisper now cupping her face in both my hands. I start to move in never breaking our eye contact.

"Three…" She doesn't move.

"Two…" She closes her eyes.

"One…"

"Wait…" She breathes out and my heart falls to my stomach. "I want to. God, you don't know how bad I want to. But not like this, you deserve more than this. You deserve all of me."

"Spencer, I …lo"

"Shush," she puts a finger to my lips. "You don't know how long I have been waiting for you to say those words. But not right now." She smiles at me before resting her forehead against mine and wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me closer to her.

"What are we going to do?" I don't really understand what just happened between us.

"I don't know, but I know what I want."

"You do?" I pull away and look into her eyes for clarity.

"I want you Ash. I've always wanted you." A big grin graces my lips. "I just never believed you could want me too." I kiss her forehead.

"I want you so much, Spence."

"I'm going to call off the wedding. I need to break up with Heather. I need to do that because…I can't… we can't …"

"I understand Spence." I pull her in and tighten my hold on her. The thunder sounds throughout the sky and with the intensity of the moment I almost forgot we are standing in the middle of the street with rain pouring down around us.

"I'm sorry." I pull away and look at her confused.

"Why are you sorry?" I rest my forehead against hers again, loving the intimacy it creates between the two of us.

"I didn't want to stay away from you. I was just trying to please her. I was miserable. God Ash, I was going crazy not being able to see you or talk to you whenever I wanted without feeling guilty. I don't think I could have spent the rest of my life deprived of you." I laugh.

"I am amazing like that." That earns me a smack to my chest.

"Come on, 'oh amazing one. Let's go home." I nod before we both climb into the vehicle. "Actually can you drop me off at Heather's?" Spencer asks shyly and I turn to look at her with panic evidently written on my face.

"Don't worry, Ash. I just need to get this over with, for us." She grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers. Something we've always done, but this time it holds a new meaning.