Chapter 3: Josh's POV Monday

"Josh get ready for school!" my mom yells up the stairs. I put down my guitar and head to my dresser. I throw on a black long sleeve shirt and black skinny jeans. I fix my hair so my blue bangs cover my face and put on eyeliner to make my eyes stand out. I spend the next few minutes just sitting in my room.

I run down stairs just as my mom yells, "Josh the bus is here!"

I walk passed her and out the door, "Bye Mom."

I sigh as I walk towards the bus. I wonder how long I can use the "oops I ran out of time excuse" to skip breakfast. It's a lot easier than trying to throw it back up before I go to school.

"But," I think to myself as I get on the bus, "I can always go back to throwing up, it worked before."

I walk on the bus and sit down in an open seat, knowing no one would want me to sit by them. That's probably for the better today anyway, I haven't had a fix since last night and I'm already craving another. I have to remember to visit my dealer today. The bus pulls into school and I get off, thankfully everyone left me alone today. I walk through school not really paying attention to where I'm going. Suddenly I feel someone bump into me and I instinctively reach out to catch them. I look down and see a petite girl with black hair and grey eyes.

"Are you okay?" I ask her, realizing I'm staring.

She shakes her head and mutters, "I'm fine." She pulls herself out of my arms and I get a chance to actually look at her. She's so tiny, probably only 5'3'' compared to my 6'2''. But even for her height, she's very skinny. I look down at her face as her hair falls again to cover her left eye.

"I'm Josh," I say, extending my arm.

"I'm Cat," I hear her say as she takes my hand, shaking it slightly.

I take another look at her. I have never seen someone so beautiful. "You must be new here," I continue, "I've never seen you before."

"Um yeah, it's my first day; I was just headed to the office. Can you tell me where it is?"

"Do you want me to walk you there?" I ask hopefully.

"Sure," she replies, "at least then I won't get lost."

As we walk towards the office, people give me the same disgusted look I get everyday. I quickly realize they're also looking at Cat with that same look. I frown, feeling terrible that she's going to get treated like that. When we get to the office I hold the door open for her. She walks up to the counter but I stay by the door knowing the school officials don't really look highly upon me. I guess I can't really blame them. I do skip class a lot. They just don't know that it's to shoot up heroin.

"Yes, but Josh helped me," I hear Cat say my name and look up to see her gesturing to me.

"Thank you Mr. Ramsay," Mrs. Colmes says forcing a grimace at me, "but you can head to class now."

I tilt my head in goodbye and walk out. I head straight to the band room, knowing it would be empty. I always come here when I want to be alone. I sit at the piano and work on a song that I've been writing. As I work, I notice that my song has transformed. It's completely different than it was yesterday. Then I realize why, I'm writing the song thinking about that girl earlier; about Cat. The bell for first period rings and I leave. On my way to my class, I hear what sounds like a fight.

"You little bitch! You can't talk to me like that!" I hear the school slut, Haley, yell as I round the corner. I get there just in time to see her slap someone, who in turn punches her in the face. My eyes widen when I realize it's Cat who punched her. Haley looks ready to hit back so I jump in front of Cat, shielding her with my body.

"Oh look here," Haley taunts, "how surprising, the emo kids protecting each other. What Josh? Think if you find a girl as fucked up as you that she would actually want you? What would you do for a date, drug up and cut yourselves together; how romantic." Her lip curls into a sneer at the last word.

I work hard to keep my face emotionless after her speech, but her words sting like a bitch. It's really sad that most of the students already assume that I do drugs and cut myself, but since they're right I can't really defend myself. But I hate that everyone's going to assume the same things about Cat. She doesn't deserve that.

Once Haley realizes that I'm not going to respond she stomps away. I sigh and turn to look at Cat. "I can't leave you alone for a minute, can I?" I tease her, smirking.

"I didn't need your help," she points out.

"No you can definitely stand up for yourself," I agree, "but I doubt you wanted to get suspended on your first day of school for fighting."

She rolls her eyes but mumbles "Well thanks I guess."

"So since you scared your student guide away, do you want me to walk you to your first class?" I ask her.

"Sure," she replies glancing at her schedule, "first I have Calculus."

I look at her completely shocked. "So you're smart? Damn," I mutter. So much for her hanging out with me, by the end of the day the preps will have her hanging with them. We walk silently the rest of the way to her class and when we get there I tilt my head and leave without a word.

I go through the rest of morning, the usual comments of "emo", "gay", "fag", and "druggie" circulating around me. The bell rings for lunch I walk straight to the band room. I've spent every lunch here since freshman year. I sit at the piano determined to finish my song. I begin playing and quickly lose myself in the music.

"Everyone's around, no words are coming out.
And I can't find my breathe, can we just say the rest with no sound.
And I know this isn't enough, I still don't measure up.
And I'm not prepared, sorry is never there when you need it.
And I do want you know I hold you up above everyone.
And I do want you know I think you'd be good to me
And I'd be so good to you.
I would.

Thought I saw a sign, somewhere between the lines.
Maybe it's me, maybe I only see, what I want.
But I still have your letter, just got caught between
Someone I just invented, and who I really am and who I've become.

And I do want you know I hold you up above everyone.
And I do want you know I think you'd be good to me
And I'd be so good to you.
Woahh
You bring me higher.
Yeah.
I would.

And I do want you know I hold you up above everyone.
And I do want you know I think you'd be good to me
And I'd be so good to you.
I'd be good to you,
I'd be good to you,
I'd be so good to you."

I hit the last note and smile with satisfaction. I pull out my notebook to make any last changes sitting at the piano. When the bell rings for the end of lunch I put away my stuff, grab my guitar, and head to my seat. I'm looking through my notes when I notice Cat standing in the doorway holding a guitar case. I didn't know she could play. Damn this girl is amazing. She sees me and smiles walking towards me.