(Making a long distance relationship work)

The first weekend that Ashlee shared with Ava she'd decided to transfer to Northwestern. They had not kissed yet and she had not even imagined what it would mean to love this former rival but her heart knew as it knew its own habitual rhythms that her life was tied to the older woman's. Ava told her on that first Sunday drive to the station that she was moving back to her mothers in eight weeks and when Ashlee reached her room she'd researched the school's transfer policy.

It had been a long and exhausting three hour flight made even longer by the thirty minutes spent waiting on a filled tarmac but it had all been worth it when Ashlee saw Ava standing near the baggage area. Most college students would think that she was crazy to give up spring break on the West Coast for the Midwest but no one else had Ava as a girlfriend. The last time they saw each other was two months ago when Ava returned for a week to finish moving out of her San Francisco apartment. Ashlee had alternated between looking forward to and dreading those seven days because at their end Olivia would have no real reason to send her daughter back to California. They were reduced to skyping and texting to maintain their five month relationship. Whatever it took is what both had vowed but it was more than a little depressing to go from being with each other every weekend to two weeks every two to three months. This was the last separation Ashlee promised herself as she waited to debark. She didn't care what Northwestern or UC did with her credits Ashlee was determined to be as close to Ava as possible.

Like every other college student Ashlee used to spend the entire week looking forward to its last two days but now she dreaded them. She had the routine down to a science. Pack her clothes just before the first class on Friday and come at lunch to gather them so she could hop on a train right after the last class. Do her homework on the ride and as she waited for Ava to pick her up. This was her normal but now it was a herculean effort just to get out of bed. There were parties, friends, and events that she could distract herself with but no matter what was going on there was always a moment that Ashlee remembered how it should have been. This vacation would change all of that. She just had to get her mother and girlfriend to agree.

Ashlee was looking around so much that she almost passed right by Ava as she stood by the carousel. She had always considered Ava to be beautiful even when they were less than friendly during the Coop debacle but now she was simply stunning. Her hair needed a trim and was sticking up behind her ears and there was a tiny smudge of something by her lips but to Ashlee she had never looked better. Never in a million years would Ashlee have dared to dream of even being seen with someone so gorgeous but to know that not only did Ava want her but loved her was almost too much. In the space of a few seconds Ashlee went from ecstatic to overwhelmed and had tears clouding her vision. She tried to turn away and hide until her feeling could be contained but Ava looked up and her girlfriend's sparkling smile morphed into a frown of concern. "Baby what's wrong?" Ava asked with arms open wide as she hastily ended her call. "Whose butt do I have to kick for making my girl cry?" she asked in her best imitation of butch voice, "because you know I'll do it."

The voice did the trick and the tears that were threatening to fall were wringed out with a deep and unexpected laugh. "Have I told you that you are especially sexy when you're all aggressive and grr" Ashlee whispered as she kissed Ava's cheek.

"See I told you that I was the boy of the relationship." Ava preened as she pulled off the small roll away bag and turned to leave.

"Babe you didn't even know what month the Super Bowl was played in. I think that kind of disqualifies you from the male role" Ashlee said as she resisted the tug.

"What? I have your stuff right here."

"There's more." Ashlee said making sure not to look Ava in the eye and cursed her mother for the inherited cheapness gene. She could have avoided all this by just shipping it through the mail.

"You have your carry on and I have your checked in bag what more did you bring?"

"I'm going to be here for two weeks. You can't expect me to look good for you with only two small bags." Ashlee gasped and was pleased when Ava looked contrite. Now Ava might not get upset when the other one came Ashlee thought but it was promptly erased when both of eyebrows rose at the monstrosity that had circled the empting loop several times. "What?"

"Tell me that isn't your bag."

"It's not my bag." Ashlee mumbled as she inspected her sandals.

"What the hell? Did you pack your entire wardrobe?" It didn't help her case that there were bright yellow overweight stickers plastered around the rotund valise. The grunts that the skycap kept making as he stuffed it into Ava's Mercedes convertible were another strike against her. "Ash?" Ava asked again as they drove in silence. "Why did you bring so many clothes if you really planned on leaving in two weeks?" The last time they spoke they had sort of agreed that Ashlee would wait until the end of the semester before she moved back to Illinois but it was simply taking too long. Every day that passed was getting harder and any small issue that the couple had grew exponentially because of Ashlee's unease. If Ava talked to her five minutes less than usual Ashlee was convinced that they were on the verge of break up. Ava had to practically undress once over skype when Ashlee thought a new turtleneck was covering a hickey. "Ashlee?"

"What do you want me to say?" Ashlee yelled getting more irritated by the second by Ava's insistence that they remain a thousand miles apart. "Yes I packed too many clothes and No I do not plan on going back. Are you happy now?" Any other person would be overjoyed that their girlfriend was willing to do whatever it took for them to be together. Was she the only one wanted them to be together? Maybe Ava wasn't as committed as she claimed. "You know what just take me to my mom's house."

"What? What the hell are you talking about?" Ava yelled.

What the hell indeed. She did Not want to go to her mother's house. She did not want to waste any of their precious and limited time together arguing but her pride and anger would not let her back down. "You heard what I said. I don't want to go to the Beacon with you. I'd rather be home with people that at least act like they are happy to see me when I fly back."

"Ashlee I never said that I wasn't happy to see you. You know perfectly well how much I've missed you."

"Yeah I could really tell by the way you bitched at me over my luggage which I don't remember you paying for so why the hell do you care?" Her annoyance and irritation was growing with each passing second and she could see Ava's breathing deepen as she tried to get her own under control. When Ava's cell phone started ringing and Ava immediately silenced it Ashlee's top blew. Ava's displays of maturity only served to fuel the raging fire. "You know what you can just stop the car right now. I can call a cab since it is such a huge bother for you to take time out of your busy day just to pick me and my three bags up." Her rage began to deflate when Ava the seemed to ignore her earlier request and passed the exit for Doris' and Blake's home but when Ava immediately moved to take a quicker off ramp it exploded. "You don't have to wait until I'm out before you take your call. You can spend your time with them since you clearly don't want to be with me."

They spent the next ten minutes in silence and when Ava pulled into the driveway Ashlee was silently wondering how she let what should have been a happy reunion spiral into a huge mess. Ava waited for a couple of seconds before getting out of the car and unloading the cargo. It took them both to get the suitcases inside and Ava even helped her take it up the stairs to her room before she whispered a soft goodbye as she leaned in and kissed Ashlee's cheek. Ashlee refused to let Ava see her watching the retreating car from the window but once the taillights were no longer visible Ashlee went outside hoping Ava would be waiting just around the corner. When five minutes passed and Ava had not returned Ashlee sat on the porch with her head in her hands crying.

She didn't know how long she sat there but when she heard Clarissa's screech as she ran toward her and looked up and saw that the sun was no longer sitting high on the horizon. Both Doris and Blake looked at her with shock because neither expected to see her today although she just flew in town. "You're home. I can't believe you're home. Momma and Doris said that I wouldn't see you until the weekend. I can't believe you are home." Clarissa gushed as she hugged her tight. Ashlee couldn't believe it either. She should be with Ava enjoying their time together but she was too busy being an ass.

"I am and I missed you so much" Ashlee said with a forced laugh as she attempted to wipe away her tears.

"Hey sweetie we weren't expecting you home so soon or we wouldn't have gone to Towers for dinner." Doris said as she helped her inside.

"We can finally watch Kung Fu Panda 2" Clarissa said with a smile as she ran upstairs to look for the DVD.

"Hey Clarissa why don't you let Ash rest some she's probably tired from the long flight." Blake said with a smile but Ashlee could tell that her efforts to hide her pain were not fooling everyone.

"No I want to see it. Clarissa and I promised to watch it together and I don't want to keep her waiting." Besides it wouldn't make her feel any better to be upstairs alone thinking or downstairs trying to talk with her family while putting up a happy façade. Nothing was going to make this okay except talking with Ava so she might as well spend time with her little sister.

"Is that you Ashlee?" Blake asked as she walked into the kitchen just after midnight.

She was heating up some leftover pasta after a fitful night of not sleeping. Ava hadn't called and Ashlee was too embarrassed to even know what to say. How could she make this right when she didn't even know what made her so upset? "I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you up. I guess the time change is keeping me up."

At that Blake gave her a measured look and poured them both a glass of apple juice. "Ava practically begged your mom to let her pick you up from the airport."

"Yeah it was good to see her." Ashlee croaked over her drying throat.

"She really missed you. The past few days she was practically vibrating from the excitement of seeing you."

"Yeah"

"What's wrong Ash? You don't have to tell me but I'm here if you need someone to confide in."

"I messed everything up." Ashlee surmised after she explained the events of the day.

"Have you tried to talk to her?"

"It wouldn't matter because she wouldn't want to talk to me. She probably hates me"

"No she doesn't. If you could see how much the both of you love each other you would know that she could never hate you. Ashlee, don't let fear cost you this relationship."

When she finally reached Ava's suite at the Beacon Ashlee still didn't have any idea of what to say but she refused to give up Ava. After her knocks went unanswered Ashlee stood outside the door fingering her key card. Should she just barge in after her behavior earlier? What if she was too late and Ava had given up on their relationship? Just the thought that her immaturity could have cost her everything Ashlee pushed open the door just as it was being pulled. "Hey. I'm sorry to wake you like this."

"I thought you were the front desk needing help." Ava said blearily blinking her eyes to the light in the hallway. They stood at the door for a couple of seconds before Ava widened the door and asked if Ashlee wanted anything to drink. As she looked down to close her rob Ashlee pulled Ava in her arms and held her close. "Ash?"

"I'm sorry I yelled and picked a fight with you. I miss you so much I just couldn't handle the thought of going back alone."

"But what about your classes?"

"I don't care. I don't care about my credits or my GPA. The only thing I care about is being with you."

"How do you think your mom is going to feel if you don't get credit for an entire semester that she paid for. I'm not going anywhere. It is only for another two months. We can do that."

"But Ava" Ashlee whispered again but this time with tears.

"I want you more than anything but if you leave school before the end of the term there is no way that you will be able to get into Northwestern. Please just think about this."

"I love you so much"

"I love you too Ash." Ava said as she pulled the younger woman to the bed.