(Sex post-rugrats)

On the drive towards the farmhouse at a little past eight am Ashlee was feeling more than a little guilty. For the first time in thirteen months she had spent twelve hours alone with her wife not sparing a single thought to her children. Not that she thought of much besides how Ava looked, or how Ava tasted, or how Ava might respond once they got to the hotel room but still. Sure she knew that the kids were safe with their grandparents and more than likely not giving their parents the slightest consideration but she was their mother. Since their birth and until the day she died her primary concern in life was the welfare of Augustino, Jeffrey, and Catherine Spencer Wolf Peralta.

Sex was something that the couple didn't just do well but they excelled at. Hiding their emotions and masking their pain were some of the other traits they shared yet it in the bedroom they trusted each other to truly let go. Ava had always been comfortable with fulfilling her carnal needs but with Ashlee it finally became more than just physical sensation and tension release. Giving herself and expressing her love were her only goals. Not that the sex wasn't phenomenal. Ashlee was hands down the best lover that had ever fallen into Ava's bed. Whether it was the addition of emotional intimacy or gradual maturity but dear God it was everything and then some.

Ashlee had worried herself sick that her lack of experience would either bore or turn Ava off but noting had been further from the truth. Ava had always denied that she had a type. She'd dated a few millionaire CEOs, a couple of GQ hotties, and some everyday Joes but Ashlee was in a completely different league. It wasn't even because she was a woman. Her romps with Doris had been more than enjoyable but with Ashlee sex became exactly what Cosmo and the movies described. Ashlee had promised to do anything to overcome her natural vanilla tastes but if she was boring Ava didn't think her heart could handle spice. Ashlee gave herself to Ava without shame, agenda, or effort. All Ashlee wanted was her wife's love Ava thought with increasing guilt. It shouldn't be this big of a problem Ava thought to herself. I am not a hormone driven animal she tried again but the pounding between her legs was not subsiding.

It had been more than two months since they made love and Ava was going crazy from withdrawals. Ashlee had already been medically cleared for adult activity a week ago but neither the twins nor Stino had moderated their late night antics. To be fair Cat and Stino preferred to sleep through the night but Spencer's almost hourly demands were pissing off his bunk mates. When they weren't feeding or changing one they were burping or rocking the other. If it was wearing on her nerves Ava could only imagine was Ashlee was going through having two babies drawing from her seemingly nonstop. As much as she missed their interactions and needed a reconnection Ava could never tell her wife. Post-partum depression had Ava so low that Stino was almost five months old before they made love. Most days Ava would have wallowed in her own filth if not for Ashlee's constant love and support so if her wife needed time then Ava would give it without hesitation or question. But that dedication didn't make her desires any weaker. If anything it grew exponentially.

The younger woman had a figure from a past generation with lush sensuous curves that left Ava begging for more. She had always been beautiful and age had only enhanced that beauty. Making love to the statuesque blonde was a hedonistic experience. There was nothing androgynous or angular about her lover. After moving to California for college Ashlee had dropped well over thirty pounds and had managed to keep them off even after giving birth to twins. Ava was very impressed but it was never anything that the brunette considered necessary. She might be deemed a more appropriate weight by fickle public taste but Ashlee was the more athletic and health conscious of the two.

Lying in bed Ava tried to think of anything other than the woman sleeping beside her. Blonde hair spilled over the pillows in a freshly fucked style and the lowered sheet revealed a thin unbuttoned night shirt. Pale breast with strawberry tipped nipples were in plain view ready for frequent late night feedings. Her wife was exhausted and Ava had no right to look at her like a life sized centerfold layout but she was beyond reason. Anyway as long as Ashlee didn't know there wasn't a problem. That's what she thought until she heard Ashlee say "It would be quicker to take a picture."

"I didn't mean to wake you." It was better to pretend it all away rather than pressure Ashlee into something she wasn't ready for. "I can feed them from the bottle next time. You don't have to keep getting up."

"They might as well get it fresh from the source." Ashlee said scrunching her nose and poking out her lips as the sun peeked through their curtains. "Glad that someone's enjoying them" Ava sat silent trying to figure out the statement. Over the past few days Ashlee had made several throw away statements that Ava wasn't sure were directed as barbs toward her or just inconsequential remarks. Before the birth the couple had been remarkably candid about their wants and desires but now Ava was left trying to temper her passions with Ashlee's hormones. "If I ask for us to have another baby in the next five years please remind me of this moment."

"What do you mean by that?"

Ashlee sat up and leaned her head against the headboard. "Well obviously I was high to think getting pregnant in the middle of grad school was a good idea, especially with a one year old."

Fear gripped her heart as Ava asked "Do you regret having them?"

It was only when Ashlee heard Ava's shaky voice that she turned over and eyed her wife carefully while running her hand softly across Ava's face. "Baby I could never regret our children. I just should have picked a more appropriate time."

"I tried to warn you."

"I know." Ashlee growled then stuck her finger into Ava's chest. "If you weren't so hot we wouldn't be in this mess."

Laughing Ava asked "Excuse me?"

"You heard what I said. If I weren't so focused on getting into your pants this never would have happened." At Ava's raised eyebrows she elaborated. "I was so turned on watching you taking care of Stino that I would have agreed to have horns implanted if it would have made you happy. Don't act like you didn't know"

"So I could have had that threesome?" Ava challenged.

"Don't even start." Ashlee warned and rolled her eyes. "Besides you couldn't handle me and another woman. You're barely making due."

"I think I do a bit better than that and I don't recall hearing any complaints."

"That's because I didn't have any" Ashlee conceded "but even you might need a little help working off three months of lust." Ava loved that Ashlee gave as good as she got in their back and forth banter but right now she was feeling more insecure than usual and Ashlee noticed the difference and poked her again asking "What?"

"Are you just saying that or…"

"Saying what?"

Turning away Ava mumbled "Nothing" into the pillows.

"Don't do that. Tell me what's on your mind. Am I just saying what?"

Now she felt like an idiot. This was the reason she didn't like talking about feelings Ava thought glumly. Yet Ashlee wouldn't give up until she spilled. "That you want me" Ava breathed out softly. "You haven't said anything in forever I just wondered. Not that I'm rushing you." It took Ashlee a couple of beats before she understood the question it was so unexpected. No one would ever accuse her wife of being modest or unaware of her sex appeal. So it was jarring that she admitted to having flashes of insecurity. "You don't have to answer that."

Reaching over to pull Ava towards her Ashlee kissed her soundly before speaking. "Of course I want you. Have you looked in a mirror? Even when I'm pissed as hell at you I want you." Seeing disbelief in Ava's eyes Ashlee rolled them over until she was lying on top. "We haven't had sex in three months because when I was pregnant I was so sore and tired that it hurt to breathe."

"I know I wasn't complaining I was just…"

"Hush. Then for six weeks I couldn't." Looking down Ashlee knew she'd have to follow Ava's example of being vulnerable. "Since then you wouldn't believe how unsexy you'd feel with two babies constantly at your tits." Both of Ava's brows shot up again at the unexpected vulgarity. "I do want you. All the time. I just keep falling asleep whenever my head hits the pillow for more than two seconds." Pointing to her opened shirt as example "I was in the middle of buttoning this before you woke me."

"So it's not me?"

"Baby I swear if it were up to me you'd never have on clothes."

"Might be hard to explain to the kids in a few years."

"They'd get over it."