(Mother/daughter push and pull)
Since conception it seemed that Ava had been upending her life. She had lived a relatively happy life without one thought to her first child but now and in spite of herself she found it ironic that most days did not pass without some thought to that child's welfare. Ava had bullied her way into her life and at one point not a single place Olivia could turn without her unwanted presence. Now it felt as if the roles had been reverse somehow and she was now the one running after Ava only to be spurned.
Everyone was completely stuffed sitting around the table after Sunday dinner. The Spencer-Rivera's and the Mahler-Wolf's had been breaking bread together periodically long before the Wolf-Peralta merging but since the birth of the first grandchild Sunday dinner became their tradition. The venue alternated between the farmhouse or the Queen Anne with some random excursions to the Towers or Company. The atmosphere wasn't always relaxed or even happy but they made it work because it was family. It was their time to decompress from the stresses of the week and coordinate increasingly complicated schedules. There were seven children to chauffeur in a million different directions and the fact that two were driving didn't make it any less hectic on the adults.
The food was cleared and Clarissa and Emma were watching the younger ones play konnect in the living room. Every few seconds there were thumps and bumps followed by a kiddie voice shouting "I'm okay." Hopefully no one would be maimed within the next few hours Ashlee thought to herself. It would really mess up the finely worked routine the adults had going at least until next Sunday. "So are you sure you can take her to the doctor Mom? I can still cancel that meeting?" It had taken fifteen minutes to finally settle on Olivia taking Cat to Cedars. Natalia was the usual candidate until she was finally hired at the local women's shelter. The economy was hard hit everywhere and there weren't many places taking inexperienced social workers. Ava asked before Doris interrupted. "I want to know why no one ever asks me to take the kids to the doctor? I'm their grandmother and I…"
"I'm sorry if I don't want my children escorted by the woman who insulted their pediatrician." Ava returned.
"I was waiting on that spot for over a minute when he cut in front of me." Doris spat trying to defend herself once again. "He drove down the wrong side of a one way street. In some places he could have been legally shot. He probably doesn't even remember me."
"Mom you screamed 'limp dicked weasel' at him in the middle of lunch hour. I don't think a decade would be long enough for him to forget. You're not taking the kids to see him." Ashlee could tell Doris was upset by the way she pushed away from the table and rolled her eyes but the man gave her children booster shots for God's sakes. Moving on she looked around and reminded "Don't forget we're having dinner Friday to celebrate Stino's first cub badge.
"A party" Blake smiled. "Do you think we still have time to arrange for that magician?"
"Yes, all the kids at Colin's party loved him. I can cook and Olivia and Doris can" Natalia started before being cut off mid-sentence.
"It's not a party. It's a dinner. It'll be the family and maybe one or two kids from his class."
"He's learning how to take care of himself and his community so I think he's earned a party" Olivia said turning towards her daughter.
"I know and that's why he's having a special dinner" Ava clarified looking at Natalia "and you aren't cooking. You're going to relax for once."
"It's not a problem I love cooking for my nietos. I know just what I'll make too. We can have…"
"We'll order a few pizzas and wings, put on a movie, and his friends will sleepover. That's it. It's not going to be a big deal." As soon as the words were out of Ava's mouth Ashlee could sense the tension fill the room. Every milestone in her children's lives was a huge event to these women. "He'll love it."
"A pizza and a movie to celebrate his first advancement in the Boy Scouts?" Olivia repeated with more than a hint of sarcasm.
"That should be fun" Blake tried but Ashlee could tell that she was less than thrilled with the idea as well. "We can still have a cake and put up some decorations right?"
"No we aren't having a party"
"Ava" Ashlee tried again. There was no point in turning each skirmish into a battle. They had four children the oldest of which wasn't even seven. "maybe we can have a tiny party?"
"His birthday is in two weeks. The twins just had a birthday and Ally's is next month. We had a huge barbeque for Cat's gymnastics team and Spence's soccer championship. They've had more parties in the past six months than most kids get their entire lives. He doesn't need another one."
"We don't want them expecting a gift every time they do something." Ashlee added hoping some good old fashioned reasoning would settle the issue but of course she wasn't dealing with any ordinary group of ladies.
"Yeah you're right they shouldn't start relying on their family to recognize their achievements." Olivia said looking around after throwing her hands up in disbelief.
Getting upset Ava raised her voice "I will not have spoiled brats who demand everything handed to them" and crossed her hands over her chest.
"He earned that badge." Olivia growled and moved further into her daughter's personal space. "I should know because I'm the one that took him and Fancy to the park every Saturday for a month to pick up cans."
"No one asked you to! If it's too much of an inconvenience Ashlee and I will be glad to take them." With that Ava jumped out of her seat and stormed towards the living room but not before Natalia grabbed onto her shirt. "Ava please don't do this. So we have a difference of opinion about…"
"Oh don't stop her. It's what she always does when she hears something she doesn't like. Who's being the brat now?"
Whipping her head around Natalia said in a low voice "Olivia you're not helping!"
"We're leaving. If you any of you want to come to the dinner you're welcome." And without another word Ava gathered her children and had them loaded into the truck before Ashlee could even react. Stunned Ashlee looked around the table and saw the worry and fear not only in Olivia's eyes but also her parents. There was no identifiable reason why this tiff morphed into her wife yanking their kids out of their grandmothers' home.
"What the hell was that?" Blake asked standing to look out of her window towards the suburban parked in her front yard. Francesca was bothered enough to pause her favorite game and climb into her mommy's lap as Emma and Clarissa stood next to Natalia.
"I" "I" she tried before the shrill blare of the horn stopped her stumbling. Blinking wearily Ashlee glanced once more around the room before she walked out her mother's home. In the coming week the agreed upon schedule was followed until the letter. In the many years that bound their families together arguments and disagreements were plentiful and even more volatile than this but for some reason it was clear that it was different.
Ashlee hadn't seen pain and disappointment in her wife's eyes quite so visibly in a long time. Olivia over stepped. She always did but so did Natalia, Blake and Doris. Trying to objectively look at all sides for the life of her Ashlee could not piece it together. It wasn't a huge surprise that Ava reacted to this latest volley by pulling away. It was a familiar dance for the couple but it didn't make it hurt any less. Just when they needed to lean upon each other Ava withdrew and reinforced ancient walls. Fighting, pushing, even begging and pleading wouldn't work she just had to silently watch her wife figure it out for herself and she wasn't the only one worried.
Although Ava saw her mother and stepmother each at work day as usual it was still Ashlee that Natalia called each night for updates and possible solutions but she didn't know. Something was hurting her wife and now it was affecting everything that Ava touched. Ava buried herself in projects at work so she didn't have to interact with her parents and when she came home she barracked in her office to avoid questions from her wife. Tomorrow was the dinner and Ashlee knew that there was no way anyone could focus on Stino if they didn't work this out now. "Talk to me" she opened without preamble as she sat down in front of Ava's desk. The children were finally asleep and she hoped that the two gin and tonics that Ava had with dinner would mellow her just a bit.
Rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hands Ava yawned and tried her best to deflect the question by pretending not to understand its meaning. "I have five more pages to go over before I can even think about going to bed" Ava frowned. "I'd much rather be celebrating the kids falling asleep before midnight in bed with you instead of here at this desk."
"Ava please" Ashlee said rolling her eyes to let her wife know that the subterfuge wasn't working. "Stino's dinner is tomorrow and you and Olivia still aren't speaking."
"And that's my fault?"
Ashlee purposely took a deep breath and concentrated on keeping her tone calm and soothing. "I'm not saying it's anyone's fault but it isn't the atmosphere that I want for his day." It would not do any good to open another front to the latest Spencer War.
"Wasn't it you that first said you didn't want this dinner to turn into a big production? I'm sorry if I was trying to get my mother to respect the boundaries that we both agreed upon."
"I'm not saying you were wrong." Ashlee hissed before she controlled her temper. "I'm saying that it's over. They wanted a party we said no and now it's time to move past it. This has happened a million times before but for some reason you're still angry and I want to know why."
"Maybe I'm tired of constantly having to justify everything to our parents." Sitting back and pointing to the roof Ava lowered her voice and creased her brow "Those are our children. Not theirs. We decide what's best for them. Not Olivia, Doris, Natalia, or Blake."
Walking around the desk and sitting in Ava's lap Ashlee kissed her wife's brow softly. "Please tell me what's really bothering you and don't give me our parents meddling because I'm not buying it." Leaning over and sweeping her wife's lips with her own she asked again even more softly. "Baby please talk to me."
"Why couldn't…" Ava started before emotions overwhelmed her. "I see how much she loves him. How much she loves all of them." Ava said before turning away and burying her head in Ashlee's shoulder. "Even before I found out she was my mother I always admired how great she was with Em. The way that she loves Fance and Rafe no would dare ask if she didn't have them herself."
"She loves you like that too baby. I know you don't always see that especially when you're both trying to out maneuver each other on deals and contracts but anyone can see how proud she is to have you as a daughter."
"Now" Ava whispered as she turned her head.
"Sweetie"
"I know. I know everything you're going to say. She wasn't ready to be a mother. She was a teenager barely able to support herself and sister and brother. Her mother just died and she was pregnant from a rape. Catherine was everything I could have wanted or needed in a mother. I know all of that but that doesn't change how I feel."
Pulling up Ava's head so that she could look into her wife's tear filled eyes she asked "And how do you feel?"
"Like if she loves them why couldn't she even try to love me?" As soon as Ava said the words it was as if a gaping hole opened in her chest. Something that should have been settled long ago was still destroying her wife and there was nothing Ashlee could do except hold on and love her. If it weren't for the fact that all of the children were looking forward to the night Ashlee would have cancelled the entire evening. Neither Ava nor Olivia could change their past actions and the pain that would erupt wouldn't benefit their family. There was no way she was going to tell Ava she was wrong for feeling abandoned but how could Ashlee judge the actions of a little girl violated and destroyed.
"I think that maybe it should be just Ava and the kids and I tonight." Ashlee hedged as she spoke to Natalia and Blake in front of company. "There are still a lot of sore feelings and I don't want my children to be around it."
"Your mother-in-law is Olivia and your mother is Doris. Your children are going to be around sore feelings for the rest of their lives." Blake laughed still not getting Ashlee's point.
"I just think that maybe it might be simpler if we waited a while. The birthday party is in a week so things should be calmer by then."
"The kids don't pay any mind to those two. All they care about is having their grandmas and abuela there. We're not going to miss this day just because Olivia and Ava are bent out of shape with each other. Again."
There was the normal expected tension from the argument but Ashlee could tell that even Olivia was perplexed by Ava's continued reticence. Holding a grudge or getting pissed the elder Spencer well understood but for some reason it seemed like more but she couldn't understand why. The mother and daughter bumped head every day several times a day without this distance. Eventually the friction was too much for Ashlee and she finagled Emma and Clarissa into driving the kids to local Cold Stone for a few hours while hopefully the situation was finally put to bed.
"Now that Ashlee has so subtly cleared the room anyone want to tell me what's going on?"
"Olivia maybe you could calm down a little." Doris said looking between the two women and for once not adding to the flame.
"I am calm."
"Then get calmer." Natalia clipped off toward her wife before asking "What's wrong?" of Ashlee and Ava.
"Yes why does it feel like we're all missing something important here? I mean are you still mad about Sunday? Yes we love spoiling our grandchildren. I will be the first to admit that but we all respect that you're the moms" Blake added.
"I don't want to do this Ash"
"I know but you have to baby. It's killing you and eventually it'll destroy what we've all worked so hard to build. I know you don't want that." Getting up and kissing Ava's forehead Ashlee murmured "I'm right here" as she reached for Ava's hand.
The air was heavy and no one knew what to expect as Ava softly spoke. "I'm sorry mom. Ash and I had already planned how we wanted this day to go so when everyone started chiming in I just got pissed. I'm sorry for taking it out on you."
"I wasn't trying to push I just love them so much you know? I want to give them everything that I didn't have. I want them to have the biggest and best of everything because that's what they deserve even though they might not need it. We want the same for all our children" It was then that Ava's emotional dam broke and all the emotions she'd buried burst through and Ashlee stepped back and allowed Olivia to comfort her wife. It was one of the hardest things she'd ever done. In a few moments all the work that Olivia and Ava put into their sometimes continuous and fractious relationship could be for naught if Ava couldn't get Olivia to understand. "Baby what's wrong? Are you sick? Is something wrong with one of the kids? You can tell me anything I swear whatever it is I'll do whatever it takes to fix."
"I love you mom."
"Oh baby I love you too. I love you so much. Do you know how much I love going to work knowing that I'm building a future for our family? Do you know how proud I am of all that you've accomplished at the Beacon? I know that I'm not the most open person but I swear not a day goes by that I don't thank God that I have you back in my life. You are the missing piece that I didn't even know was gone. I love you baby." Olivia said and slowly with each word Ashlee saw the joy and the peace return to Ava's eyes. It was okay. They were going to be okay again.
"I love you too mom."